Chapter 11
CHAPTER 11
Russ lay still, the warmth of Hillary pressed against him a comforting weight he wasn’t ready to relinquish. But then, he felt it—a soft, trembling sigh, almost imperceptible, but enough to make him pause. He shifted slightly, realizing with a jolt that Hillary’s shoulders were shaking. She was... crying. A quiet, restrained sort of crying, as if she was doing everything in her power to keep it hidden.
Guilt washed over him, swift and unrelenting. Had he overstepped? Maybe pulling her back to him had been too much, too forward. She was vulnerable, wrapped up in whatever complex emotions she carried, and he’d been selfish, thinking only of how good it felt to have her close, of the way her presence grounded him. He hadn’t been ready to let go, but maybe he should have.
“Hillary...” he murmured softly, uncertain, his voice a mix of apology and hesitation. He wanted to say he was sorry, to pull back and give her space if that’s what she needed, but he didn’t know where to start.
She didn’t respond right away, her face still hidden against his chest, her breath coming in those small, uneven gasps that tugged at something deep inside him. He tightened his arm around her, gentle but firm, letting her know he was there, that she wasn’t alone, without forcing her to talk.
“If I’m being an idiot,” he offered quietly, his hand instinctively smoothing over her hair, a simple, comforting gesture. “You can just say so... I didn’t mean to make you cry.”
She shook her head, but kept her face pressed to his chest, her hand gripping his arm as if she were holding on to him like an anchor. Finally, in a voice muffled and raw, she whispered, “I just want to talk to my sister. I have this terrible feeling that she’s not okay. Like she’s probably worried sick about me and I caused that. I made a stupid choice to show up for a job that wasn’t mine, that I wasn’t qualified to do, and now I’ve put her in a terrible position. She might lose her job with Kinross. That’s something she loves so deeply.”
He relaxed slightly, relieved he hadn’t pushed her too far. But her words tugged at his heart, making him realize just how much weight she was carrying, how much more was beneath the surface.
“Hey,” he whispered, brushing a hand over her back, “you’ve been more than qualified for this job. Think of everything we’ve been through and how unbelievably strong you’ve been. We’ve nearly died multiple times and yet here we are. In the lap of luxury finally getting to take a breath. Your sister would be proud. You could have bailed on me and been back home already. But you knew I...” he trailed off and she gave him the gift of not pressing on. He’d been alone in hiding, running for his life for a while before he reconnected with Topeka and then met Alex and Hillary. Those were dark times. The threat was always around every corner and he was isolated from the world. He’d have understood if Hillary had chosen to go home the first chance she got. But he was so glad she hadn’t.
She let out a shuddering breath, and for a moment, he thought she might pull away. But instead, she held on a little tighter, her fingers curling into his ribs, as if she needed something solid to keep her grounded.
They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other in the quiet of the morning until her tears seemed to subside. If there was more to say, or something else was going to happen, they’d never know. There was a knock at the bedroom door and Sophie opened it slightly but didn’t poke her head in.
“Pardon me,” she said meekly. “I don’t mean to disturb you but Madame Fournier would like you down for breakfast. She said it’s vital that you’re present.”
“Okay,” Russ said, clearing his throat as Hillary finally moved from his arms and got out of the bed. “We’ll be down shortly.”
“She probably wants us to reengage with Claire. We need to find out who was on the other end of that phone call last night. She seemed upset that they contacted her here.”
It was a quick turn from vulnerability to action on Hillary’s part, but Russ understood that. Nothing felt in their control lately and this was something they could really do. He watched her for a long moment as she gathered up her clothes and headed for the shower. He thought about joining her. No, he did more than think about it. He pictured it. Vividly.
Damn. He’d have to stay in bed a minute longer and instead imagine baseball and the stock market. Anything to get the image of her in the shower out of his mind.