Chapter 27 #3
“I rescued them from the euthanasia line at a shelter, Julie. Two old, toothless mutts that nobody wanted. My mom’s allergic, so I’m pretty alone in this. I had Rebecca before, but she went to work on some cruise ship, so I couldn’t count on her after we broke up.”
My stomach twists at that name. Rebecca from Los Angeles. The ex. Ex-girlfriend, ex-fiancée, damn, they almost got married! How wouldn’t my stomach twist?
I take advantage of his honesty to go further. To finally get rid of her ghost in my head.
“Is that why you broke up? Because of her job?”
He shakes his head.
“She did that after. Said she couldn’t stay in Los Angeles after everything, so she gave up the house we lived in and left. I don’t blame her, really, it was pretty…” Jasper pauses, jaw tightening before saying the next word, “traumatic.”
“Traumatic?”
He takes a while to respond, the question lingering longer than it should, giving undue weight to it all.
Maybe I don’t want to know. I don’t want him telling me uncomfortable things just because he promised honesty.
“I couldn’t do it,” Jasper finally says.
“We had the house, the dogs, the date, and somehow I just couldn’t go on with it.
It was like… on the outside everything seemed fine, but inside something was off, and I didn’t know what it was.
And you gotta be the biggest asshole in the world to break up with someone because something somewhere at some point was missing. ”
“Have you figured it out?” I ask, and he looks at me, slightly confused. “What was missing?”
Jasper licks his lips. Shrugs.
“You know how sometimes you let life carry you and you end up becoming a person you don’t even know anymore?
Sometimes it’s good, sometimes you end up hating that person profoundly.
I hated California Jasper. It just felt like I was in the wrong place, living a life that wasn’t mine, so there came a point when the only thing I wanted was to go home.
I wanted to be New York Jasper again, eating New York bagels, New York pizza, cursing people on the subway… ”
“Do you even take the subway?” I joke. First, because it’s a valid question. Second, because I’m trying to lighten the mood. He’s already revealed too many truths today, probably deserves a break.
Instead of saying no, Jasper goes full-on lawyer, “I value the maintenance of my inalienable right to use the subway should the occasion render it convenient, thank you.”
I laugh foolishly, studying his profile with a newfound admiration.
Messy hair falling over wide eyebrows, gold-framed sunglasses, a tiny triangle detail on its side where it reads PRADA, perfectly trimmed dark beard making his jawline even sharper.
He’s gorgeous, from that crooked, mischievous smile to every vein running down his forearm to his hand as he grips the wheel.
He’s gorgeous in a way that doesn’t seem human.
But my admiration today goes beyond that. My admiration is because I just found out that he is.
“Who’s with them now? Your dogs?” I ask, accepting without hesitation the crazy idea forming in my head.
“I have a dog sitter who stays with them when I travel, but…” Jasper trails off mid-sentence. But if he dies, there will be nothing left, that’s what I think he means.
Instead, he just breathes deeply, slowly, as if still mulling over the topic, “I know it’s totally irrational, because we really can die anytime, anywhere, but being stuck inside a place so unusual and impressive as an airplane… it makes you question your mortality a bit more.”
“Well, if you die before me, I’d be happy to take care of your dogs.”
He looks completely surprised.
“And why the hell would you do that?”
“Because if I die before you, you’ll go to my house and get rid of everything in the last drawer of my dresser before my parents come to empty the place.”
“Julie Sawyer, you naughty, naughty girl!”
He doesn’t really have to go to my house. Mila’s been in charge of that for years. But one of the worst ways someone can feel is alone, and I don’t want him ever to feel like that anymore.
“You promise?” I insist, ignoring his comment.
“I do this and if I die, you’ll take my dogs? Bring them to your cute tiny house in Greenwich Village, with your crochet blankets and your drawer of… plastic dongs? You’re gonna buy them premium dog food too?”
“Well, for that, you need to wait to die until I at least find a new job. Don’t forget, I’m completely broke.”
He laughs.
“You do realize this means we won’t be able to fly together now, right?” Jasper says after a moment.
“I didn’t know you were on that flight. It was Mila, I swear!” I explain immediately.
If I had known, I would have preferred to take a swim all the way to Mexico, I’m sure of it.
I think Jasper agrees, because he just shrugs, “She’s been insisting we be friends ever since Robbie asked her on a date. Took ten years, but hey, it finally worked.”
My jaw drops at the same time my eyes widen almost out of orbit.
That’s what he thinks we are?
“We’re not friends!” I protest, in shock.
“We’re not?”
“You’ve seen things, heard things, and you have been inside places none of my friends ever have or ever will, Jasper.”