Chapter 3
THREE
The scene is bustling. Crew members, as tired as usual, move around setting up lights, cameras, and set pieces. I can’t take my eyes off the final pins. Something about Anna’s visit still doesn’t sit right with me.
I turn to her—she’s still here, on set, locked in deep conversation with Betty. Neither of them looks my way, even when I try to catch their eyes.
“I’m going to miss you so much,” Ashley says sweetly.
I jump, startled. I didn’t hear her walk up beside me. When I finally pull my attention away from Pinky and the Brain across the room—plotting something about me—and look at Ashley, I nearly gasp.
She’s devastatingly beautiful tonight. No wonder Jax’s been crushing on her since day one. I mean, she looks like a Disney princess.
We hug. Her body is so delicate in my arms, like she might break.
“Me too,” I say. “If you ever need to send an SOS to escape the catastrophe about to go down, I’ll be your knightess in shining armor.”
“Oh, Zara,” she chuckles softly. “He’s not that bad. You just don’t like him for some reason. It’s odd.”
I open my mouth to defend myself point by point, but… what’s the point, at this juncture?
This ridiculous show is almost over.
We’re in our pretty gowns, faces full of makeup, itchy extensions reattached to our scalps. I just can’t see the logic in Jax choosing me, so I won’t ruin what should be a fabulous night—for Ashley—when he picks her, and I can finally go home, soak in my tub, and sleep in my own bed.
That’s all Anna wants from me—just the right reaction to the final pinning. I get it. I’ll play along. I’ll clap and cry and hug Ashley. I’ll shake Jax’s hand and say, Well done.
No…
I have to look like I’ve lost. Like I’m disappointed by the outcome.
I’ll hug him. Loosely. I don’t want his body on mine for too long. And when I’m asked how I feel, I’ll say, “Hurt, of course, but I always knew she was the one.” That’s what a girl’s girl would say. And I’ve worked hard to establish myself as one of those.
“You okay?” Ashley asks.
She looks genuinely concerned. While my thoughts were racing, I’d been standing here looking completely stupefied.
I close my mouth and force a smile that gradually becomes real as fantasies of freedom start to wash over me. “I’m fine. Congratulations.”
“You know… he could choose you,” Ashley says, though there’s no real conviction in her eyes.
The thought makes my stomach nosedive. I can’t shake how worried I am about that possibility.
My gaze shifts back to Anna and Betty—but they’re no longer where they were. Maybe that’s a good sign. Maybe my central nervous system is just getting the best of me.
Still, I’ve been turning over the question in my mind: How could Jax choosing me possibly benefit the both of us?
Me? Sure. I’m a PR disaster, and any attention—even fake love on a fake show—is great for my career.
But Jax? He’s no PR mess, at least not that I know of. Why else would he be cast as the show’s Knight in Shining Armor if he were?
“We’ll start recording in fifteen,” Hansel, the show’s director, announces over the loudspeaker.
Ashley and I lock eyes, wide and nervous. She takes my hands and squeezes them.
“No matter what, let’s stay friends, okay? I know you don’t like him, but I like you. I’ll be your referee—and I’ll be fair.”
I give her a tight smile as she laughs at her own big-hearted promise. The thing is, what I want to say is: I don’t ever want to see his face again. Ever.
But I’m spared from having to let her down gently as we’re called to our spots under the soft, flattering lights.
As makeup and wardrobe put the finishing touches on our appearance, Jax enters the stage.
Beside me, Ashley gasps—sharp enough to reveal exactly what’s on her mind. She thinks he looks handsome.
I’ve seen more handsome men. I’ve dated more handsome men. Good-looking guys are a dime a dozen. It’s what’s inside that matters.
Still… objectively speaking, Jax is handsome in a black suit that fits him in all the right places. Most women would like—no, love—his hypnotic bedroom eyes and chiseled jawline.
So yeah. He’s good-looking. So what.
What really gets me is his expression.
Usually, he’ll toss Ashley a wink or a smirk—some little breadcrumb to let her know she’s his gal.
I gnaw nervously on my bottom lip.
“Don’t do that, Kara,” Janet, the makeup artist, scolds.
I grunt and roll my eyes as she wipes red lipstick off my teeth and reapplies it.
Something’s off. Jax isn’t acting like his usual cocky, spotlight-loving self. The one who relishes rejecting a hopeful contestant he clearly thinks is beneath him.
Oh…
I exhale slowly, the tension easing in my shoulders.
He’s not being smug because he’s not about to break a heart tonight—not mine, anyway. He knows I’m not in love. He knows I won’t be heartbroken.
Good. That makes two of us.
I stretch my neck from side to side. Soon. Very soon. I’m only minutes away from freedom. I’ve already made a vow: I will never do another reality show again. Ever.
“Everybody take your places!” the director calls.
Chaos buzzes around us.
I glance at Ashley—she looks nervous for the first time tonight.
Smiling, I wink at her and nod toward Jax, hoping to put her at ease. He’s yours, lady. He’s all yours.
Soon, it’s quiet on set. Action has been called.
“Welcome to the final pinning ceremony,” Dave Lyons says, stepping into frame.
Dave—our handsome host—is so much shorter than Jax that they’re never filmed standing next to each other without Dave standing on a platform.
He launches into his usual monologue about our journey to love. How “bumpy” the road has been for both ladies, which makes me grimace. Bumpy for Ashley? No. For me? Yes. What is he even talking about?
“But Ashley and Zara,” Dave continues, “have both captured our Knight in Shining Armor’s heart. And now, Jax, the time has come to pin the lady of your dreams.”
Dave nods dramatically—he really is a good host for this kind of gig—and turns to face us.
My heart patters like heavy rain.
Something’s not right. Jax isn’t smiling at Ashley. He’s looking straight at me. His gaze is long and deep, like he’s trying to telepathically tell me something.
What the hell is going on?
My head spins as he picks up the final golden pin.
“Zara.” He clears his throat. Then smiles.
It’s a fake smile—I know it too well. The same one he’s worn through every forced interaction we’ve ever had. The smile we practiced.
“Would you please…”
I shake my head instinctively.
No. No no no no no.
“Stop shaking your head!” Betty shouts in my earpiece.
Then Anna’s voice follows, even louder. “Smile! Don’t you drop the ball, Zara. Your career depends on it!”
“Huh?” I whisper, barely able to get the word out.
Because Jax has asked to pin me.
And the world is spinning.
Faster.
So fast—
I lose my footing.
And the next thing I know, I’m falling.
Everything goes dark.