Chapter Seven #2
‘Yep, that’s me. If you’re ever after any, let me know,’ she said, slanting him a mischievous look.
‘Good to know.’
‘Do you have many relatives?’ she asked.
‘None. Mum and Dad were both only children, and all the grandparents were gone before I came along, so there’s only ever been Ruby.’ He shuddered to think what his life would have been without her.
‘Both of us parentless. Do you think that’s why she left us WillowGlen?’ Ivy massaged her temple with her two forefingers.
He’d spent too many hours trying to unpack why Ruby had done what she had.
Maybe this was the obvious answer, but he’d been too consumed by grief and confusion at her request to understand it.
Not to mention too blinded by anger at Ivy’s involvement and what he was sure she must have done to make that happen, although he’d had no evidence to support the concept, and now he was sure she’d done nothing of the sort.
No, the truth of their breakthrough couldn’t be ignored; when they worked together as a team, this was the result. He had to find a way to work with Ivy.
‘I doubt I’ll ever understand her reasoning, but I think she’d be happy with what we’ve identified,’ he said, his relief clear to hear.
‘Same here,’ she agreed.
‘Helping people out, creating a haven is a broad remit, but at least it gives us a starting point,’ he continued. Like they were entering a new phase, excitement beat through him and he couldn’t help but smile.
* * *
Ivy stared at Ethan and jammed her eyes closed, desperately needing a reprieve from constantly trying to compartmentalise her attraction to him, forever arguing it was only because of the amount of time they were spending together.
But it was more, as much as she tried to pretend otherwise.
Ethan’s flash of outrage that Ben had blamed her for the recent leak to the press had opened a chasm in her barriers she’d been unable to slam shut.
Ever since, she’d been plagued with thoughts of telling him the truth about the folly photos, and no amount of debating could convince her otherwise.
She wanted him to know, as they still had weeks of working together, yet buried under every plausible excuse was the knowledge that she could no longer stand that he thought of her that way.
She sighed and pressed a hand to her throat.
It absolutely wouldn’t change anything between them, because the ramifications of what she’d done to her parents was lifelong, and he deserved a whole lot more than someone like her could ever offer him.
She massaged her nape, trying to ease the tension in it, because she knew she couldn’t ever dismantle Ivy, even though the longer she was in Ethan’s presence, the more she struggled to keep up the pretence of someone who wasn’t her.
But she could keep it up until she left WillowGlen. She had to.
She tugged at the collar of the black silk shirt she’d paired with black pants and heels. It was getting harder each day not to put on jeans or a cardigan and dress like she really wanted to. Like she would at home, when no-one was around.
But someone was around.
She turned to Ethan to find his eyes fixed on hers, the strangest expression on his face, until he blinked.
Quietness descended around them, except for the pounding of her heart.
It was now or never.
Taking a long, ragged breath, she expelled it and crossed her legs to stop them trembling. ‘There’s something you need to know,’ she said in a rush.
His brow furrowed.
‘I was never behind those photos.’
‘What photos?’ His voice lowered to something dangerous.
‘The ones in the folly,’ she answered with a hateful wobble.
Surprise. Suspicion. And a fleeting flash of vulnerability crossed his features.
His jaw tightened. ‘Really? Why did you pretend otherwise?’ His obvious scepticism was expected and understandable, but still her tummy dropped.
‘Because once it started, I didn’t know how to reel it back in.’
‘Who was behind it then? And why haven’t you mentioned it before now?’
‘When I realised we’d been photographed…
kissing…’ The word hung heavily between them, his nostrils flared and her heart skipped a beat.
The kiss had become embedded in her memory and refused to be ripped out.
‘I was…’ Devastated, gutted, shocked, because she’d been wrapped in a world where nothing existed except him.
‘Caught completely off guard. As soon as I saw my then-publicist, I knew she was behind it.’
He shot to his feet and started pacing. ‘Why didn’t you call her out at the time?’
Ivy stood and shook her head, willing him to believe her. ‘It’s…complicated but I’m sorry for the way I handled it. For all the harm it caused you.’
He stopped and reared up like she’d struck him, as he raked a hand through his hair. ‘Why are you telling me this today? What’s your angle, what do you want? And why is it so complicated?’ he fired off in quick succession.
Her insides clenched. Had she expected him to automatically believe her? For the past to disappear altogether so they could start afresh from today?
If she could turn back time, would she have done it differently, if she had known the ramifications? Yes! No! She couldn’t answer, because although she’d desperately needed a protective barrier, she’d hated hurting him.
‘Because after today and what we’ve decided, I felt you should know.
It was important you knew the truth.’ But right then she knew she could hardly expect him to believe her without revealing the reason why.
Not the full why of course, because she’d never be able to bear his condemnation and utter repulsion if she did, but still she wanted him to know at least partly why Ivy was created.
She bit her lip. ‘And it’s complicated because after my parents…
died—’ she stumbled over the words, before purposely slowing ‘—I threw myself into acting, to cope. I’d done some in school productions and enjoyed it, but in the aftermath of their deaths I needed acting as a means of escape, so I took classes and auditioned for everything possible.
That’s when I created Ivy. She’s everything I’m not.
She’s not, nor ever has been, grief-stricken, reeling from her parents’ deaths.
Being her, playing her, was the only way I felt I could survive.
And now—’ she barely prevented a wince ‘—it’s what people expect, want, so that’s what I give them.
I knew in that moment I needed to be her.
But that day, it made everything worse, and I wanted to tell you I’m sorry. ’
His eyes widened and his sharp intake was clear over the pounding of her heart. Perspiration trickled between her breasts, and her knees trembled, but still she remained standing; it was the least she could do.
* * *
Every muscle in his body tightened.
She’d created Ivy to help with her grief?
His throat burned, imagining how bad it’d been for Annie that she’d sustained the persona of Ivy all these years.
Her obvious distress reached inside and loosened something tightly held within him that he didn’t even realise had lodged there, until it floated away and the band of tension across his chest eased.