Chapter Ten #3
A muscle ticked at his jaw, but he remained statue still as she reached onto tippy-toes to bring her mouth to his.
This!
This was what she’d been waiting for.
His taste flowing into her.
The rasp of his jaw beneath her fingertips.
She whimpered and lifted her hands to the back of his head, tangling her fingers in his hair, pressing him closer, hunger for more overtaking everything.
He jerked, his arms, tightening, crushing her breasts into his chest.
Her body sang.
Her mind whirled.
More.
The kiss went on and on, devouring, desperate.
On an oath he wrenched his mouth from hers.
She moaned and her eyes fluttered open to his, inches from hers.
‘Are you sure this is what you want?’ he rasped, his breathing as laboured as hers.
There was no mistake about his question; he wanted her consent.
Her legs trembled in anticipation.
Unwittingly, the reality she’d so determinedly pushed away rushed back.
She didn’t deserve this, him. She could never escape her guilt, and he could never know what she’d done.
But if it was only once, nothing would have to change, other than to eradicate this bone-shaking, exhausting attraction.
And then everything could go back to normal and there’d be no repercussions for either of them.
She swallowed heavily at the realisation that she could allow herself this one time with Ethan.
She nodded.
‘Say the word,’ he demanded, a flush of red branding his cheeks.
‘Yes! I want this with you.’ She hesitated, needing to be clear. ‘But it’s just one time. Tomorrow we’ll go back to normal,’ she said with a calmness that belied how desperately she wanted him to agree.
He stiffened and she held her breath. What if she’d read this all wrong? What if she was the only one who felt this aching, sleep-stealing chemistry between them? What if he said no…
‘I want this too. Casual, no strings attached, friends with benefits. Today only.’ His voice was low and ragged.
A rush of elation whipped through her. Friends with benefits; that was exactly what she wanted.
Suddenly weak-kneed, she sagged against him, and in one quick movement she was airborne in his arms and heading out of the room. Her face pressed into his shoulder, soaking in all the things that made up Ethan.
She squealed in surprise and delight while pushing away the misgivings that kept trying to remind her she shouldn’t be doing this.
Instead, she was going to make the most of every heart-racing second of this one time.
She’d make it count, but afterwards, she promised herself, nothing would have changed.
* * *
Ethan raced up the stairs with Ivy in his arms. He couldn’t get to his room fast enough, like a hormonal teenager with his first girlfriend.
But he definitely wasn’t a teenager, and she definitely wasn’t his girlfriend.
This would be one time and one time only.
That’s all she wanted, and it was all he’d offered.
They both knew up-front what this was, where they stood.
Friends with benefits for one time only.
He wasn’t getting emotionally entangled with her.
He could never do that. But this would eradicate the lust clouding everything.
Then his life would return to normal without the never-ending ache for her haunting his dreams. Every waking minute she invaded his thoughts was driving him to the absolute edge of distraction.
He dared not look down at her as he feared he’d lower her to the nearest flat surface and not get any further.
Their one time would be in his bed and he’d worship every inch of her delectable flesh, until she was begging and writhing beneath him, until he’d had his fill of her throaty murmurs, which short-circuited every brain cell, eliminating all thoughts except for her.
He sucked in a breath to steady himself and instead inhaled a lungful of springtime, Ivy’s innate scent, which obliterated all traces of everything else and honed his every sense on her.
When he’d recognised the gleam of desire in her eyes, his every fantasy had sprung to life. Still, he’d needed to be sure it wasn’t his imagination playing tricks on him, from too much longing. He’d hoped this wasn’t one-sided on his part, that she wanted him, too.
He’d needed her words.
Her thready yes as her eyes widened had almost been his undoing.
But he’d managed to hang on to a thread of restraint and laid out his terms, reminding himself he had this under control.
Friends with benefits, exactly as it had occurred to him last night, and he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about since.
Casual, no strings. One stolen afternoon, nothing more.
He would be keeping her emotionally at arms’ length; he couldn’t afford anything less with someone as guarded as she was, with the niggling feeling she was still hiding something from him.
He shouldered open his bedroom door, all his teenage desires of bringing a girl in coming to life. Yet it was no girl. It was a woman who’d tormented his dreams for far longer than he’d ever admit.
He kicked the door closed and crossed to his king-sized bed, which had long ago replaced the three single ones from his childhood.
After he carefully lowered her into the middle, she edged up so that her head was on his pillow, her dark hair splayed around her.
His scalp prickled at how much he liked that, as he took a moment to drink in the vision. Her black silk shirt with a row of buttons down the centre that he itched to undo, the black pants hugging her long limbs.
His hands tingled, wanting to touch, explore, tease, but he gathered his last traces of control and did what he needed to do.
‘Don’t move,’ he instructed, his voice rough to his own ears, and in record time he’d turned on all three of the heaters he’d placed to make his room less fridge-like. He didn’t want her cold, not for one second.
He left the lamps off but kept the curtains open so daylight could filter in through the rain beating against the window panes.
When he headed back towards her, she’d risen to balance on her elbows and watched his every step.
‘Take your jumper off, Ethan,’ was a midnight whisper laced with intent.
Without a second’s questioning, he reefed it off in one quick movement, flicked it away, without breaking stride.
‘Oh, my,’ she mouthed.
Bare-chested, he should feel the frigid sting of the air, except an Ivy-generated furnace filled every muscle and pore. And she wasn’t even touching him yet.
Her chest rose and fell like she’d been doing some strenuous activity, not merely lying there looking at him.
‘Anything else?’ he asked, standing at the foot of his bed, legs apart.
Her gaze inched down his bare skin until they hit the belt of his jeans, then lowered to the bulge impossible to hide.
A wicked smile lit her face. ‘Jeans off.’
Desire burned in her hazel depths as he undid his belt, then slowly lowered his zip, mirroring what he’d done for her earlier, before dragging his jeans to the floor and stepping out of them.
Her lips parted as she stared at his black briefs and gulped.
Unable to resist touching her any longer, he reached forward, grabbed her ankles and gently pulled her down off the pillows closer to him.
‘Ethan!’ she gasped.
He crawled onto the bed, knees on either side of her, straddling her.
‘Now it’s my turn.’ His lips skimmed the pulse beating furiously at her neck, and he groaned at the softness of her skin.
She bucked beneath him and he reminded himself to take it slow, make it last. They had one afternoon only, and he wanted to savour every second.
‘You’ve got too many clothes on,’ he said as his lips descended over her body. But she wouldn’t for much longer.