Chapter 34
Louhi
Two hours later, I’m finally pulling up to the dacha again.
The sun is low on the horizon when I swing open the car door.
I hated leaving my brother now that we’re together again, but he’s in no state to travel.
Mercer is in bad shape, and I didn’t want to mention it at the time, but the real reason for my supply run was to get more first aid items. I’m going to need to try to tend to the gaping wound in the side of his head where his ear once was.
Beneath the top layer of concern is a rush of relief and joy. He’s alive, he’s safe, we’re together. Answers can come later, when my brother is ready. All that matters right now is that he’s okay and we’ve been reunited.
I was going to come for you is all Mercer could say in our native tongue as we held each other. Even when I asked what happened, I only got those seven words in response. I suspect that he was experiencing the same mental unshackling from the fear and uneasiness that’s plagued me for months.
Discovering my brother at the safe house was so unexpected that tears pricked the backs of my eyes. Thank fuck I was able to blink them back.
As soon as I open the boot, I find Sean and Jace standing on the small porch. “Does anyone have any new injuries?”
I was only comfortable leaving Mercer because I trust Sean and Jace. While the three of them didn’t experience love at first sight, I knew the three of them would still be alive when I returned. I hoped so, anyway.
Sean rolls his eyes as he starts down the steps toward me. Behind him, Jace gives me two thumbs-ups and a blinding smile before catching up to his friend. It’s utterly ridiculous, yet I find my own lips hitching.
“We found your basement,” Jace announces. “That is one sexy room.”
“Why is that the adjective you chose?” Sean glances at him as they descend the steps.
Jace shrugs. “Why can’t a room be sexy? Shit, those guns certainly are, and the fancy dumbbells fit that description, too.”
I giggle. “It’s the only one I really got around to renovating, but I figured it was the most important room. How did you get on otherwise?”
Sean steps next to me, his hand pressing the small of my back through my coat. This close, I can see the stress lines bracketing his eyes, and I lean into his touch. I’d never admit this, but it’s…nice to have someone worry for me, even if it’s unwarranted.
The biggest threat in town was the cashier at the supermarket whose gaze lingered a touch too long on my chest.
“Jace and I dusted a little, put the sheets in the wash, then divided up the rooms and assembled all the bedframes. He did the one in our bedroom, though, so we should be careful later.”
“Hey,” Jace protests and gives Sean a little shove. “I’ve never heard a single complaint about my construction skills.”
“I’d like to know who you’ve consulted,” Sean shoots back with a smirk. They both chuckle, and the anxiety coiled around my ribcage loosens a little.
My gaze drifts to the window to the right of the door, and I find my brother standing there.
When I first saw him on the couch, I thought for sure he was deceased.
The sharp panic and despair coursing through me were akin to being pinned beneath concrete rubble.
But the pulse of his heartbeat felt like I’d been freed from the wreckage.
It’s clear he’s still recovering from whatever horror he endured. Especially when he didn’t hear us enter the dacha. Now that I’m with him, he can get all the rest he needs. I’ll keep him safe.
I smile softly at my brother before Honey Eyes grabs my attention, and I twist my neck in his direction. “Lou, how do you say, ‘Will you scream and bleed for me’ in Russian?”
Sean’s palm collides with the back of his head, but Jace laughs even as he stumbles forward.
“U menya prezhdevremennaya eyakulyatsiya.”
He attempts to repeat after me, and I force my face to remain neutral. He struggles through the translation, and I break it down for him. After tweaking his accent, he repeats the phrase over and over, retreating indoors.
Sean snakes his arms around my waist. “Tell me, Lou, what’s the literal translation of that phrase?”
I feign shock, gasping dramatically. “Sean, I can’t believe you’d think I’d teach him to say anything other than what he requested.”
He arches an eyebrow, waiting me out.
I roll my eyes and mutter, “I have premature ejaculation.”
Sean throws his head back and laughs—loudly.
“I thought about telling him, ‘Sean doesn’t like to share his toys,’ but the mental image of him approaching women, explaining that he’s quick on the draw was too good to resist.”
He shakes his head, a smile on his perfect lips. “You’re a menace.”
“Yeah, but you love me anyway.”
“I really fucking do.” With one hand on my back, pressing me to him, he captures my chin between his other thumb and forefinger. He slams his mouth against mine in a bruising kiss that leaves me breathless and panting at the same time.
There’s a temptation to say it back to him, but I don’t know how. I’m certain what I feel is love, but I’m seemingly unable to form the words. I’m not wired this way.
I’ve conditioned myself to lock down my emotions; there’s no room for them in my line of work. Sean’s the first person outside of Mercer I’ve opened my heart to, but just because he brightens every day doesn’t make it any easier to tell him how I feel.
Unless…
My pulse hammers hard enough to make me think it’s cracked through my ribcage and is clawing its way out. As my arms wind around his middle, I crane my neck back to fix my eyes firmly on Sean.
“Min? rakastan sinua.” The words in my native tongue are barely more than a breath, my heart spilling from my parted lips.
His storm-colored gaze stays trained on me as his knuckles gently coast down the length of my spine, grounding me to this moment so I don’t float away.
“Sin? valaistat minulle pimeyden ja saat jokaisen p?iv?n p??ttym??n kirkkaammin kuin se alkoi. En voisi el?? ilman sinua.”
It begins to snow again, the flurries landing in my hair and piling on Sean’s broad shoulders as we stare at each other.
A seismic shift is happening, the continents relocating beneath our feet as we float into the cosmos.
Things feel different now that I’ve breathed life into my feelings. I feel different, somehow better.
“Someday,” he says, his voice low and gentle. He tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I want you to tell me what that means.”
“Jonain p?iv?n?,” I repeat in Finnish. One day.