Chapter 12
Reality slowly returned to Nadia’s limbs along with heat. Had she ever been that cold in her entire life? If so, she couldn’t remember it. The memory of the water and the shock of it still echoed faintly in her bones, but it was fading, chased away by warmth.
She lay on her side, plastered against Caidrik’s hard body.
Her nose nestled into the crook of his neck and shoulder, breathing him in.
She slid her arm around to his broad back, flattening her still-cold fingers against his heat.
The guy was an inferno. A naked one. Right now, she couldn’t care. The warmth felt blissful.
“Thank you for rescuing me. Again,” she croaked out, her throat feeling like she’d swallowed those rocks she’d been bashed against.
He placed a soft kiss on her forehead. Even his lips were hot. The contact anchored her in a steady and solid way she didn’t know how to handle.
“I can’t believe Bulwark threw you off a cliff.”
“You can’t?” she mumbled, her lips brushing against his skin as she spoke. She fought the urge to take a taste. This was for warmth, and he had just saved her life again. Licking his neck would be a little unfair.
He flattened his hand across her lower back—her entire lower back—and pulled her even closer, closing what little space remained between them. “I feel like I should apologize for my brother,” he said quietly, “but considering he wants us both dead, I figure you and I are in the same boat.”
“What is wrong with him?”
“I think he was dropped on his head too many times as a kid,” Caidrik said.
She smiled despite everything. “That’s probably true.” She shifted slightly, testing her limbs. “Caidrik, this quest for a new Alpha has been more dangerous than I expected.”
His low chuckle stirred her damp, half-dried hair where it brushed his chest. “I knew it would be dangerous for me, but I’m shocked by the danger you’ve faced,” he admitted. “If you’re the trophy or the prize, which again, totally agree is stupid language, I don’t understand it.”
“I guess we have to remember that these laws are ancient, from back in the day,” she said. “I suppose the Alpha female needed to be as strong and sturdy as the male, really.” Doubt wandered through her, cold and unwelcome. “I’m not.”
He leaned back slightly, his dark gaze capturing hers. “You just survived a fall off a cliff into jagged rapids. What do you mean you’re not strong?”
She lifted one shoulder, the movement small, and looked up at his face. She wasn’t quite warm enough to feel shy yet. “You saved me. I would’ve gone over the edge and probably died.”
He stared at her for a moment, his expression unreadable. “Are you having doubts?”
“Yes.” She didn’t nod because she didn’t want to move too much.
“I’m having doubts. The pack needs somebody strong, physically and maybe mentally.
I don’t know. I never thought I’d be an Alpha or an Alpha’s mate.
I thought I could help organize and maybe push the pack into diversifying the mining operation to include farming. I’m not a fighter.”
He leaned in until his nose touched hers. “Even your nose is cold.”
She rolled her eyes. “I know. Somehow, yours is hot.”
Why did male wolves burn so much warmer than females? Or was it just her? Did Taryn burn as hot as Caidrik? It was entirely possible. The thought drifted through her, unfocused.
She tried to make him understand. “I think one of the things the Alphas have to consider is their offspring,” she said.
“You want them to be strong and smart and fierce.” The guy deserved the full truth, just in case he hadn’t studied her enough.
“I’m smart,” she said, “but I don’t have the other two qualities. ”
It sucked, doubting herself like this, but she couldn’t help comparing herself even to Emily.
Emily was tall and knew how to fight. She actually could have been the Alpha of the entire pack if an illness hadn’t taken her under for a while.
She was healed now but mated to Jackson, so they had to choose a pack. They’d already chosen his.
Nadia shifted her weight, sliding her knee up Caidrik’s thigh in an effort to get warmth.
The movement was instinctive and a little clumsy, driven by the lingering cold in her bones.
It sparked a new feeling anyway, coiled and decisive, awakening her desire despite everything.
That wasn’t surprising, considering she was in bed with a naked Alpha wolf.
She would have had to be half dead not to be interested.
Apparently she was more alive than she had hoped, because her body shot into full awareness before she could talk herself out of it.
Caidrik sighed, his warm breath stirring her hair where it rested against his chest. “I think you’d make a fine Alpha female for the pack.” Then he remained silent for several clicks. “Did Isaac say something that bothered you?”
Nadia shrugged, keeping the motion small.
“Ah,” Caidrik said.
Her eyes widened as the realization hit her. “Oh God. I’d forgotten all about Isaac.” Panic clutched her, but there wasn’t anything she could do. Caidrik’s arm stayed firm around her, heat pressing into her back. “Do you think he made it out of the river?”
“I don’t know,” Caidrik said slowly, as if he were replaying it too. “I didn’t see any sign that he did. No tracks on the side of the river, but I was going under quite a bit. I guess it’s possible.”
She winced. The worry settled deep and uncomfortable inside her. Isaac seemed like a decent guy. Hopefully he’d saved himself somehow. “I don’t know where Bulwark came from. He must have climbed down that rock wall.” The image of the drop flashed through her, and her stomach tightened in response.
Caidrik shook his head. “The rock wall extends around to regular mountain terrain. I’ve hunted in that area before.”
“Oh.” She sat back slightly, careful not to lose the warmth of him. “So apparently Bulwark has hunted there as well.”
“I suppose,” Caidrik said. “We haven’t been in touch for decades, but it wouldn’t surprise me.
” He leaned down, his lips wandering against hers, warming her mouth instantly.
The kiss was steady and unhurried, grounding her in the present and in him.
Heat spread through her, chasing away the last of the cold.
“Wh-what are you doing?” she asked softly.
“Stealing a kiss,” he said.
She grinned against his mouth. Honesty was a nice thing from him. “Why do you want to be the Alpha?” she whispered, the question brushing his lips.
Caidrik pulled back just enough for her to see his expression. “I really didn’t. Though it would be nice to have a place to belong. It’s just when I looked at the alternatives, I couldn’t see anybody else keeping the pack safe. Or you safe. At least not in the contenders.”
She thought about it, letting the truth of it settle. “I agree. I think you’d make a great Alpha.”
He snorted. “I definitely don’t have the bloodline for that. The McGregors are killers and thieves and have been for millennia. There was a reason we were kicked out.”
“Yeah,” she said uneasily, “but you’re back in now.” She hesitated, then asked, “How did your date with Taryn go?” From what she could tell, Taryn would make a fine Alpha female lead, just like Isaac had said.
“It was okay,” Caidrik said. “She’s a little ambitious, but that might be good for her future. I’m not interested in her.”
Yeah, right. The guy was just being nice considering they were cuddled together naked. “How can you not be?” Nadia asked. “She’s gorgeous.”
“So are you,” he said.
“Yeah,” she said, rolling her eyes, “but she’s gorgeous in ‘an I could take on the world and still look good way.’ I’m cute.”
Perhaps the best thing for the pack would be for her to bow out. The thought came quietly, unwelcome but persistent, settling into her chest where doubt had already taken root. She hated how reasonable it sounded.
“I’m not doing this without you,” he said softly.
That didn’t make any sense. “I’m not the girl males go to war over.” Yeah, she was pretty great sometimes, but come on. There wasn’t anything legendary about her. “You have to think of the pack.”
“I am. You love the pack and will take care of it.” He nuzzled her mouth, apparently just fine with being naked and alone. “But I’m no hero, sweetheart. Stop talking like I should be the Alpha.”
The guy had saved her twice, almost dying himself. “You’re a hero.”
“No. Not even close. My hands are stained with plenty of blood. See what’s here, and not what you want to see.”
“You’re wrong. I do think you’d make an excellent Alpha,” Nadia said, choosing her words carefully. “The packs are always being attacked, and you were made to protect others. I can see that in you. Easily.”
Caidrik sighed, the sound warm against her skin. “From what I can tell, I’m the only guy to do it. We don’t want Bulwark. Dax is dead, and there’s a good chance Isaac is as well. There’s something about Luca I don’t like. The guy’s too charming.”
She swallowed, hating that she agreed. “Though he could be stronger than we think. He has survived this far where two haven’t.”
It was too bad Bulwark had lived through the tunnels collapsing. It was a terrible thing to think, ugly and sharp, but she couldn’t help it. The pack would have been safer without him in the running, without his shadow hanging over all of them.
“If it comes down to it,” she asked quietly, “could you really kill your brother?”
“I don’t want to kill Bulwark,” Caidrik said. “Especially because it would cause our mother pain.” His jaw tightened before he went on. “But to save the pack, to save you, I would.”
She tilted her head all the way back to stare at him. “Why?”