Caleb #2
Yanna told me that she and Dana had spent time with Ajaih shopping, wining, dining, and pampering themselves on mine and Ahmir’s dime, but we already knew that because we got the credit card alerts to prove it.
She also shared that JaJa wanted a chance to get to know me intimately beyond friends and get more intimate with Dana and the polycule as a whole.
“I’d love for that to happen, JaJa seems like an amazing woman who hasn’t been loved right, and deserves the chance to be,” I responded, looking over to see Yanna deep in her thoughts and far away from me.
“A penny for your thoughts?” I asked as I stroked her cheek.
Sighing as she began to sit up, “Since the sit-down with my parents, the communication has been almost a dream. I’ve had dinner with them multiple times, and my mom even came to the hospital and had lunch together.
I never thought I would miss what I never had, but I can’t see myself ever going back to the distant relationship we once had,” she smiled big at the thought of her mother, “I even agreed to to go to therapy with her soon, and continue to work beyond the past pain,” she finished.
“I’m so glad to see you getting healthy and requited love from your mother, you deserve to have your heart healthy with new memories of your mother,” I stated as she nodded her head in agreement.
“Cal, have you given any more thought to sitting down with your family and telling them that we’re together? It’s unfair for the kids to be burdened with that secret, knowing they talk to your brother and sister fairly regularly and even make it to the Sunday dinners when they’re home.”
I knew this conversation was coming because CJ had asked me if I had talked to Sr and my mother.
Sr was only a nickname because while my father and I share a first name, my middle name was different.
I told CJ that I had not, and he told me to be the man I raised them to be and stand on business with his grandparents.
“I don’t need you to tell me what’s not fair.
I’m aware that a conversation needs to be had, okay?
I gave you the space and grace to work through your feelings about us and tell the people you deemed necessary when and only when you were ready, so I’d appreciate the same support,” I snapped, getting out of bed, heading to the bathroom.
The bite in my tone was unintentional, but the mere thought of my parents had triggered my anguish, and Yanna became an innocent bystander of the trauma I was working through.
As I stood in the bathroom collecting my thoughts and preparing to go back to bed and apologize to my heartbeat, I heard shuffling outside the door, causing me to open it, finding Yanna fully dressed, grabbing her things to head to her house, I assumed.
“Baby,” I called, as I softly grabbed her and turned her to face me, revealing her beautiful face filled with anger and hurt.
“I am NOT trying to rush you to do anything, we can stay a secret forever if it makes life easier for you, but neither the kids nor I should have to keep a secret from your parents because you don’t want to have the hard conversations that the truth would lead to.
You damn sure don’t get to ask me to trust you and give you all my love freely while you allow your trauma with your parents to keep you from reciprocating, and finally I’m taking my black ass home before I cuss yo black ass OWT,” her body language and voice full of sass and feistiness.
Trying to stay serious, my body betrayed me when I started chuckling, because even though she was upset, she was so damn sweet and radiated kindness and joy.
“Look at me,” I demanded as I lifted her chin until those beautiful brown eyes stared into mine.
“Yanna, you never have and never will be my secret. I am in love with you, and honestly, I have been in touch with my jeweler because I plan to make you, Layanna Johnson-Black, far sooner than later.” I paused, watching her eyes expand in surprise at my confession.
“I apologize for biting your head off. I have been preparing myself to go to Sunday dinner and have this conversation, but the dread creeps in because I am never far from being reminded of how awful a man my father is and how much of a doormat my mother is. And though I’ve been doing the work to unpack their dysfunction and how it impacted me, I find myself filled with anxiety and anguish every time,” I sighed, dropping my head as a lone tear escaped my watering eyes.
A soft kiss graced my chin, then my lips, then my nose, allowing me to exhale the breath I’d been holding as my vulnerability finally showed up to the emotions party.
Her love, her warmth, it was an elixir money couldn’t buy.
Layanna stepped back as she began to remove her clothes and shoes, grabbing my hand as we settled back into bed.
Caressing her gently, I continued to whisper my apologies, while assuring her it would never happen again.
Layanna reminded me that she and Ahmir were heading to NYC this weekend for a quick getaway, and I figured it would be the perfect time to stop in for Sunday dinner at my parents.