Enough

Chapter 34

Nick encases me in his arms, and we drift to sleep together on the ride home since we barely slept all night.

We had a lot of catching up to do. Gwen seems very responsive to Cooper as they intertwine their fingers and he kisses her head repeatedly.

When we turn down my street, Gwen whispers our names to wake us.

I yawn and press my hand to Nick’s chest to lift myself.

He climbs out first and holds his hand to me before hugging me tightly against his chest.

“Thank you for last night,” I whisper in his ear.

“Thank you,” he whispers back.

I feel some anxiety over leaving him and wonder what will happen when we aren’t together. Will he change his mind now that he’s had me?

“Stop it,” he says as he lifts my chin to gaze into my eyes.

“Stop what?” I ask.

“Thinking the worst. I see it in your eyes. I promise you I love you. If nothing else, you should know that after last night, I only love you more.”

I smile in appreciation, and he winks as he kisses my forehead and climbs back into the limo.

Gwen slides out through the opposite door, and I see Cooper’s hand lingering in hers until she’s forced to pull it away. She laughs and closes the door.

After we’re inside, I watch the limo clamber down the street and I’m filled with a mix of happiness and concern.

My phone pings with a text.

Nick: Stop it. I love you.

I smile to myself and lean on the door. Gwen stands in front of me and our eyes meet.

“Some night, huh?” she questions.

“You could say that!”

“Did you sleep with him?” Her eyes bulge in anticipation of my answer.

I nod my head bashfully and she covers her mouth and laughs.

“What about you?”

“Did I sleep with Coop? In the same bed, yes. Intimately, no.”

“You didn’t sleep with him?”

“I just said I did.”

“I mean did you have sex?”

“Oral or vaginal?”

“Oh my God, Gwen… either!”

“Yes to the oral. No to the other. He didn’t have a condom.”

“But you would have if he did?”

“I don’t know. Let’s just say I’m happy with the events of the night. Very happy.”

I laugh lightly and that’s all I need to know.

THE NEXT WEEK of work is torturous. Nick has to fly to Philly to set up a contract, and although we talk on the phone, I miss him terribly.

It amazes me how quickly and easily he’s become irreplaceable.

I’m thankful for the kids and work to keep me busy while he’s away.

On our first day of work after the weekend, Gwen and I both receive huge bouquets of flowers from Nick and Cooper.

I can tell Gwen has feelings for Cooper, although she doesn’t want to admit them. He calls her every night after work to make sure she gets home okay, and I can tell she thinks he might be trying too hard. After a couple of nights of her not taking his calls, Cooper texts me.

Cooper: Tell me what I’m doing wrong. I’m crazy about her but she’s pushing me away. Is she not interested? I need to know.

I don’t know how to explain Gwen in a text, so on my break I call him.

“Hey Coop.”

“So tell me.”

“Gwen’s been through a lot of crap. She doesn’t trust easily, but I can tell she has feelings for you. I think she’s afraid.”

“What is she so afraid of?”

“I don’t know for sure, but I’d venture a guess that she’s afraid you’re not what you seem to be and that she’s going to get hurt. I also think she’s afraid she won’t be enough to keep you.”

“What? She’s plenty to keep me. If she’d give me a chance I’d prove it to her. You know me, Ev. When I let myself care about someone, I’m all in.”

“I do know you. You’re just going to have to try to be patient with her. I promise she’s worth it.”

He snickers. “I know she is. She’s special.

She’s not like any girl I’ve ever known.

She’s so tough, but I can see through it.

She’s got a beautiful heart. As far as my patience goes, you don’t have to worry.

I once sat for three days straight outside the house of a would-be terrorist. I didn’t close my eyes once the entire time and I gripped my gun so hard I had blisters.

If I could wait for an ass like that, I can certainly wait for the woman of my dreams.”

AT MIDNIGHT I’M advised that we have a high-risk teen in the unit who’s due to deliver. She’s the only one in my wing right now, so I go in to introduce myself.

She’s curled into a ball on her bed and shaking from head to toe.

“Hi, sweetie. I’m your nurse, Everly. My friends call me Ev, so you can call me Ev if you like. How are you feeling?”

“I feel like fucking shit. How do you think I feel?”

I nod my head and check her chart. Her name is Nadia.

“I know you’re in a lot of pain. Your doctor should be in very soon to check on you. Have you given any thought to whether or not you’d like medication to help with the discomfort?”

“You mean drugs and shit?” she asks. “Will I feel better?”

“Depending on your medical history and progress, your doctor will tell you if that’s an option for you. Did you discuss it when you made your birthing plan?”

“I don’t have a doctor, much less a fucking birthing plan.”

“Have you been to the doctor during your pregnancy?” I ask.

“Only when they make me.”

I check her chart and see she’s assigned to a doctor I’ve worked with before. “Your doctor is listed as Dr. Fidell. She’s very kind. I think you’ll like her.”

“I’m only going to like her if she gets this thing out of me without pain and lets me go on my way.”

I swallow and wonder what her story is. It’s not my place to ask, so I don’t. “Would you like another pillow or maybe some ice chips?” I ask.

She cringes and writhes in pain. I wet a towel and place it on her forehead. “Do you want me to touch you or not? I know when I was pregnant, the last thing I wanted was someone anywhere near my skin.”

“You’ve had kids?” she asks as her contraction subsides.

“Um hmm. Two.”

“You don’t look old enough to have kids.”

I smile and curtsy to her. “Well, Nadia, you just made my night.”

Her lip curls up on the side.

“Do you think you can change into a gown? We need to see how far along you are and the doctor will want to know when she arrives.”

“Do I have to?” she questions.

I teeter my head back and forth. “Well… yeah… you kinda do.”

“I don’t think I can stand.”

“No worries. I’ll help you.”

I close her door and pull a pink gown from the closet. I offer her my hand, and she lifts up to a seated position. “Let’s start with shoes. Can you kick them off?” She does. “I have these cozy little socks here for you with tread on the bottom in case you want to walk the halls.”

“I can leave?” she questions as she pulls off her socks.

“You can walk up and down the hall if your doctor says it’s okay. Sometimes if a labor stalls, a little bit of movement can push it along.”

“I just want it to be over.” She reaches to her face and roughly rubs her eyes before she glances away from me.

As I help her change into her gown, I ask, “Is anyone here with you?”

“My foster mom dropped me off and said she’d be back in a few hours.”

Her answer makes me cringe. She shouldn’t be alone. “How old are you, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“I’ll be eighteen next week. Then I’ll be able to get the hell out of here and away from this fucking town.”

As she lifts her arm into her gown, I see scars up and down her inner arms. I instantly realize she’s had a rough life and it makes me want to hold her. I wonder what has happened to her to make her so unhappy and angry.

Another contraction hits her and I hold her steady as she bites her lips in pain. She finishes changing and I help cover her. “Would you like a warm blanket?”

“You can do that?”

I nod and smile.

“Sure,” she says.

I bring her two and gently tuck them in around her.

“How old are your kids?” she asks.

“My oldest, Kale, is twelve and a half, and my daughter, Marlow is eight.”

I see her glance to my hand and note the lack of ring on my finger.

“Their dad and I are divorced.”

She nods as she curls with her next contraction. To my surprise, she reaches for my hand and I let her squeeze it.

“Try to breathe, sweetie,” I say as I brush the hair from her face. “I know you want to hold your breath through the pain, but it helps to take a long breath.”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” she questions.

I sigh as I gaze into her eyes. They’re filled with so much fear.

Although her hair is long and almost jet-black and she doesn’t look like me in the slightest, I still see myself in her eyes.

“I know what it’s like to be pregnant and feel scared and alone.

I don’t know if that’s how you feel, but my gut is telling me it is. ”

“I’m not scared. I’m not scared of anything! And I told you my mom will be here. I don’t need you babysitting me and laying your pity on me. I’m fine. I wish you’d just leave and let me be!”

I nod and offer a small smile. I place the call button next to her hand. “Okay, well if you need anything at all, you just push this button and I’ll check on you. Your doctor should be in, in a few minutes.”

“Whatever. Just stop staring at me and get the fuck out.”

As I gently angle her door so that it’s slightly closed, I feel an ache in my chest for her. I pray her mom shows up soon. I don’t like that she’s going through this on her own.

Dr. Fidell stops in to check her progress and tells her she’s three centimeters dilated.

After starting an IV and giving her several bags of fluid, she receives an epidural in her spine.

I see an immediate change in her demeanor.

Being in pain can bring out the worst in people.

I remember saying a few choice words to my nurses too.

I stop in to change her IV bag and she seems to be sleeping. I try to be as quiet as possible.

“I’m sorry I was so mean to you,” she whispers.

Her soft voice surprises me. “It’s okay. Being in labor really sucks,” I say with sincerity.

“I’m scared,” she whispers.

I gesture to her bed and ask if I can sit, and she nods.

“I know you are. I can tell.”

“I’m not keeping him. Do you think I’m a horrible person?” she asks.

I stare into her frightened eyes. “I think you’re brave.”

“Why?” she asks with a roll of her eyes.

“Because you made a very tough decision at such a young age.”

“I don’t think I’d be a good mom.” She sniffs. “I never really had one.”

I purse my lips. “I’m sorry. Is that why you don’t want to keep him?”

“It’s part of it. I don’t even know his daddy’s name. Pretty bad, huh?”

I shrug. “I’m in no position to judge anyone.”

She rubs her stomach. “Do you think it’s bad that I just want him to have a better chance?”

“I’m proud of you for being so brave and putting someone else’s needs above your own. Just be sure it’s what’s best for you.”

“I think he deserves better than me.”

I frown. “I know I don’t know you very well, but I think anyone would be lucky to have you for a daughter, a friend, or a mother.”

Her lips curl upward and she reaches for my hand. I hold on to it until she drifts to sleep.

Twenty minutes before the end of my shift, Nadia delivers a healthy baby boy. As I’m cleaning up her room, I hear her speaking to the doctor about adoption. I say a silent prayer for her and for her baby. She’s stronger than she knows.