23. Eden #2
“ You don’t know what you’re talking about.
” Jayk rakes his eyes over Dom , the sneer in his voice clear.
“ Not everyone is lucky enough to just ‘do what they want.’ Only people with connected daddies get that luxury. Some of us actually have to make some tough choices and hold our tongues when rich assholes tell us to jump.”
I close my mouth and duck my head to hide a smile. I forgot, for a moment, that the chip on his shoulder is at least as big as mine.
Dom’s whole body turns hard and threatening. “ This you holding your tongue?” he asks. “’ Cause it needs work.”
Staring darkly at Dom , Jaykob’s lip curls like he’s about to let loose.
Lucky enters with a fragrant platter of fresh roasted potato chips, then slows, tensing.
After glancing around the room with new caution, he chooses a seat a watchful distance from Dom and far from Jayk .
Calm and seeming bored by the altercation, Jasper brushes past Lucky with his drink—close enough that Lucky has to freeze so he can slide past—and the platter tumbles out of Lucky’s hands.
It clatters across the table, spraying crispy potatoes and cutting Jayk off mid-snarl.
“ Cock -sucking, son of a—” Lucky sucks his lower lip into his mouth, reaching for the overturned platter as Jasper settles into the chair beside him.
Surprised , I sit up and help him right the pieces back onto the board, looking at his pink cheeks curiously. That wasn’t like him; he’s usually so graceful. When everything’s righted, he slumps back in his seat, shifting it back slightly and not looking at anyone.
Jasper helps himself to a chip, unfazed, that cool, careful mask firmly back in place. Lucky’s eyes drift to him, a crease between his brows.
Frowning , I look between them all, noting the tense, unhappy faces.
“ Is it always like this?” I ask Beau in an undertone.
His gaze follows mine, and he shakes his head once. Needing to soothe my anxious tension, I help myself to an extra chunk of cheese.
“ If you’ve got something to say, Ranger , spit it out.” Dom is intent on Jaykob , and he looms at the head of the table, a dark, menacing presence looking down on his subjects.
Jayk rolls his eyes, not looking at him. It’s the Jaykob I met that first day, full of bitter anger, and my heart tugs for him.
“ No sir , not me,” he mocks. “ I only eat, shit, and think on command.”
Jasper sighs and then looks up to study Jaykob seriously. It’s a relief not to have that look leveled at me.
“ I know it didn’t come across well the first time, but I do apologize, Jaykob , for my assumptions the other day.
I know better than that. Know you better than that, in fact, and should have held my judgment until I had all the details.
You deserve better from me, and I can only promise I will not be so hasty in future. ”
Jayk stiffens, going from battle-ready offense to tense-shouldered defense.
“ Is that what this is about?” Some of the menace seeps from Dom , the posturing. He seems earnest when he says, “ Fuck . I meant to talk to you too, you know. You’re a good soldier, Jayk . I shouldn’t have gone after you like that. I trust you in our team without question.”
Dom is only apologizing to Jayk now ?
Like a muscle-bound wind-up doll, Jayk gets more and more rigid with each word. The sneer settles in like it’s marked in the grooves of his face. He pushes to his feet, grabbing a bowl before Dom even finishes speaking.
“ Know what? Food tastes better in the servant’s quarters anyway.” He stops in front of me, looking down with a smirk. But even that seems off, discomfited. “ You feel like crawling through the dirt again tonight, princess, I’ll fuck your ass so hard your crown comes right off.”
“ Jaykob ,” Jasper snaps.
Beau’s hand tightens around mine under the table.
I ignore them both, searching Jaykob’s rough face for the man who stood against the world for me yesterday.
“ Oh , Jayk ,” I breathe.
Sharp teeth have clamped around my churning insides, shredding them as they twist. The wounds can sit beside the slices I’ve already received today.
His smirk drops at my whisper and a muscle ticks in his jaw as he pushes into my face. “ I don’t need your pity .”
He slams a hand on the table beside me, and he might as well have my heart in his fist, squishing it to a pulp. A storm of fury, he makes for the door.
He’s halfway there when Dom says, “ Stop .”
When Jayk ignores him, Dom stands and that spine-tingling sense of his power, his competence, washes over me again. “ Stop , Ranger . That’s an order.”
But Dom’s not looking at Jayk , he’s looking down at a small, buzzing device.
Beau curses. “ Where ?”
Dom shakes his head. “ We need a visual. Jasper ?”
Jasper nods and stands as well. “ We’d best go to the study.”
They both look at Jayk’s back where he still stands beside the door. He doesn’t turn around but, after a long moment, his head drops back and his chest heaves.
“ I’ll meet you there.”
“ Fine .”
I watch Jayk leave, wondering if he would accept a hug later, then roll my eyes at myself. Almost definitely not. I suppress a sigh.
I wonder if he’d give me one for my sake, if not for his.
Dom looks at Beau pointedly, then at me, then back to Beau . Without another glance my way, he leaves the room. Beau presses his head into his hand, rubbing his forehead and avoiding my gaze.
My mouth twists. I wonder if Jayk’s bitterness is catching.
“ What’s happening?” I ask, though I dread the non-answer I know is coming.
Jasper regards me through his pretty mask—impenetrable, except for those exhausted rings around his eyes. “ It’s nothing that need worry you. We’ll make sure of that. You should get some rest, Eden . It’s been a long day for you.”
Hot embers start to smoke inside me.
“ Don’t patronize me, Jasper ,” I reply sharply. “ And don’t flatter yourself. Today meant nothing.”
And , God , I wish it were the truth. I want it to be true.
I deserve better than all of this.
Jasper hesitates, scanning my face, and sadness sinks into his tired eyes. He inclines his head and leaves, the door closing with brutal softness behind him.
Bastard , bastard, bastard !
His truth-telling only extends to the past then, I suppose.
Is this my new normal? To be lied to and ignored every time something serious happens?
Maybe I’m the wind-up doll, not Jayk . I do my one trick on command and then I’m to be put back in my box until they want me again.
Despite my promises to myself that I can handle it.
.. well, I’m starting to think that was the worst lie of them all.
Once he leaves, I look between Beau and Lucky , who linger like awkward teenagers.
I know what they’re going to say, and the vindictive Valkyrie starting to grow inside of me wants them to do it.
To lie to my face. To palm me off with another platitude.
These two who, out of all of them, promised friendship and trust.
Maybe it’s another scuffle . It’s a snarky thought, but really, whatever it is, surely I can help? Do they truly think I’m so entirely incompetent?
When both of them hesitate, neither looking at me, I snap. “ Well ?”
Lucky rubs both hands over his face. The look he levels at the door settles into something ice cold. As cold as Jasper’s wintery goodbye. Beau is staring down at his bowl, and he flinches, just slightly, at my tone.
I push up from my seat roughly, throwing down my napkin. I start gathering plates.
Lucky’s cold expression cracks. “ God , Eden , don’t do that.”
The bowls clack loudly against one another as I stack them.
Beau’s breath comes out in a low, pained gust. “ Go meet them, Lucky . I’ve got this.”
“ But —” He looks at me like he aches. Not a playful, hangdog expression, but full of real pain.
It doesn’t seem to make his mouth work, though.
Beau stands, then says gently, “ Go on, now.”
Lucky reaches for me, then seems to think better of it. “ I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Eden .”
I duck my head down, blinking, trying to work out how many more bowls I can carry. They’re hard to see for some reason.
The door snicks closed.
“ Put them down, pet. You don’t need to clean up after us.”
That does it. That one word is like a raw flame and my veins are oil. I’m lit up from the inside out.
I slam the bowls onto the table, and they bounce, spilling and skidding across the table. One shatters at my feet but I pay it no mind, except to enjoy the reckless sound.
“ No , I don’t, because I am not a pet , Beau ,” I yell. I yell and I want to keep yelling. “ I’m Eden , and I deserve better than this, damn you.”
My rage is free and wild. It’s as if, when I filled my lungs to shout, I finally breathed in properly for the first time. With abandon. Like my worries and irritations have been suppressing my lungs, and every time I bit my tongue, I was cutting off my oxygen.
But , at the end of the day, oxygen is fire fuel, and it’s licking through my whole body now.
Is it possible to burn alive from frustration?
God , I do deserve better than this. I’m a survivor.
I’ve fought my own battles for years. At some point this has to stop— I can’t be a pawn forever.
Surely , I’m a knight. I’ve earned that much.
I just... can’t keep losing every match against them. They’re not playing fair, and it hurts too much.
Beau just nods, those hazel eyes of his steady and soft. It reminds me of the day I met him. How easily he soothed me. How all my fear just melted like hot butter under that accent and those woodland eyes.
Maybe I gave in to that feeling too quickly.
“ I am Eden . A person , not a doll, not your pet . And I am. Pissed . Off .” My pulse races, thundering at my throat like a chariot charge.
Beau’s lips quirk at that, just a fraction, and I see red. I lift a bowl, ready to throw it across the room. I don’t want to hit him, I’m sure of that. Pretty sure, anyway. But I’m just so mad .
His eyes widen, and he makes a grab for my wrists, putting gentle pressure on the one holding the bowl until I drop it with a hiss. “ Hey there now, easy. I’m not laughing at you, pe— Eden , I promise.”
“ Promise ? ” I try to shove him back, but, well, he’s strong, and my rage doesn’t lend me super strength.
The muscles in his arms barely flex as he holds back my weight, so I make my voice like a lash.
“ Why should I believe anything you say? Why should I believe anything any of you say when you won’t ever tell me the truth? ”
“ Look at me,” Beau says softly, despite his firm grip.
I’m worried about getting snared in those eyes again. The woods are dangerous things, after all.
But maybe he should be afraid. I’ve strayed off the pretty path now... and fires and forests don’t mix.
“ I’m not nothing, I can help. I can contribute more than just sex,” I tell his chest. “ I’m not nothing.”
My voice breaks on the last, and I bite my tongue to stop my anger from fountaining into tears. I tremble from the effort, caught in that awful, awful place between anger and misery.
“ Eden , look at me now ,” Beau orders, and I do find my head lifting despite myself, uncertainty washing through my flames. Dousing them.
I eye him warily, swallowing and trying to hold on to some of that heat, but when he seizes my gaze, he holds it with resolute firmness.
“ I see you , Eden . Of course you’re not a pet.
” His grip softens on my wrists, and he lowers them until they rest against his chest. Slowly , eyes trapping mine like ivy, he threads his fingers through mine.
He continues in a low voice, “ We might not have spent much time together, but I already know you’re clever—you kept yourself out of danger for years, then set up a home for yourself and taught yourself to survive. ”
His thumb runs over our hands, and I decide not to tug them away.
Just for a moment.
“ You’re resourceful, I know that too. You lived off the land with no one to help you. And the very fact that you’re still alive tells me you’re stubborn. A real fighter.”
He takes a measured breath and then drops a sweet kiss to our hands, never untying me from his gaze.
“ I’ve seen your kindness, too. With me, with Lucky .
You were afraid of us when we first met, and you still tried to get us to run to save our lives.
And you’re so damn brave. You stood up to Dom when he went after Jayk with his hunting knife, and you with only your bare, tiny fists.
I see you , Eden , and you’re the furthest thing from nothing I’ve ever met. ”
My lips part. After a moment, I suck in a breath, getting a full, delicious inhale of Beau . More fool me, I think he does mean it.
“ You hearing me?” he presses.
I nod.
“ Ye —” My voice comes out raw, and I clear my throat. “ Yes , Beau .”
Beau groans, deep in his throat. “ Two of my favorite words on your lips, darlin’.”
I work up a small smile, thinking hard.
Beau drops a light kiss to my lips. Then another. Then one more, this one lingering long enough to leave me breathless.
He pulls back reluctantly. “ I have to go, but we’ll talk later. We can talk all night tomorrow if you want.”
Tomorrow . Beau’s “day.”
Beau is tense and anxious, and I can’t help but want to ease his worry.
“ If that’s what you’re into,” I joke, weakly, and he grins crookedly.
“ You going to head up to bed now?”
Hesitating for only a moment, I say, “ I’ll go upstairs.”
Relief touches his smile. Giving me one last kiss, he leaves me alone, just like the others.
A small while later, my eyes drift to the carnage at the table. To my lovely, terrible rage. Then , quiet as the mouse they believe I am, I creep out of the dining room and up the stairs.
Enough is enough. I need answers. I need the full truth if I’m going to stay. For my own sake, I can’t accept anything less.
Beau doesn’t see me as well as he thinks.