37. Lucky
Lucky
Kisses are better than oxygen.
No , Beau , it’s a good tip, don’t take my—
M y first thought is that death is more uncomfortable than I hoped for.
I mean, after the wars and the apocalypse and all, I kind of hoped that I’d catch some kind of break in the afterlife.
Some cushy ether or a nice fluffy kingdom in the clouds.
Heck , I’d take reincarnation. Bring me back as a tiger or something— I’ve got no problem picking my teeth with a poacher’s tibia.
I try to shift and realize I do have some form of body. I can move. It’s just that moving sucks and sends bolts of pain everywhere.
Really , it’s not fair that it hurts this much. If I have to hurt for my sins, I’d really have loved for it to be in some kind of sexy dungeon scenario. I bet Lucifer is the daddy of all sadists. I could get down with that.
“ Lucien .”
Noise starts to filter in, and I’m pretty sure I heard my name. Or maybe they said “ Lucifer .” I might be getting the dungeon after all.
Each breath is agony, sending spasms through my body, but between those spasms, I feel something else.
Someone is gently stroking my face, right along my hairline.
I’m no expert, but I don’t think Luci would be this sweet to me.
Eden’s the only one who has touched me this tenderly in a long time.
The soft touches are almost worth the spasms.
“ I’m going to kill you for putting me through this, you selfish boy,” someone says, and the low voice triggers warm shivers through me. Even with my foggy brain, I recognize that voice, though I’ve never heard that rough, choked tone from him.
I’m alive then, that’s good. Jasper may not be the prince of darkness, exactly, but he’s close enough.
The rough sheet around my bare waist registers, and the warmth of Jasper’s hand in mine.
He’s close enough that I can smell him, but his usual parchment and ink scent is clouded by smoke and sweat.
Memories of the barn and the hunters, the frag and the truck, come back to me sluggishly.
Ah , shit. What happened? If Jasper’s sitting next to me then it worked, and we got free.
No idea how the fuck that happened, or how I made it out of that one.
I didn’t run out into the open expecting to live, that was for sure.
My lids are heavy and gritty. It takes a few attempts before they crack open. The room is dimly lit—no lights are on, but candles flicker around the room. Generator’s crapped out, then. I recognize the med bay, but how the hell did we make it here? Last I knew, we were well and truly fucked.
As they always do, my eyes drift back to Jasper .
There’s no urgency in his body language, though I can vaguely hear an argument from behind the door.
He’s close beside me in the bed, his head pressed against the mattress beside mine.
His eyes are shut and soot dusts his face, hair, and eyelashes.
My heart tangles when I realize he’s been crying.
I didn’t know he could do that.
The slow, sweet touches along my hairline continue. He’s never touched me like this before. Not even during aftercare, that I can remember.
My throat burns with thirst, but I ignore it. Every breath stabs and spasms, but I ignore that too. I just watch him. The pain makes sense now. It always hurts around Jasper .
I’m okay with it. I would take a lot worse than this to have him here. He’s safe. Whether it’s because of what I did or by some other miracle, Jasper got free and isn’t dead behind a truck right now. Life is good.
“—where she is. We need to look for her.”
The door slams open abruptly enough to make me startle, which in turn sets off a thousand-lash punishment through every inch of my body. I groan, and Jasper’s head lifts sharply to stare down at me.
“ Is he awake?” Beau asks, ignoring whatever Jayk was snarling at him about.
I work up a smile for Jasper , wondering how awkward this is going to be. He didn’t seem happy after our liaison in his study, and—
In the next instant, Jasper has my face cupped between his hands, and his mouth crashes down on mine.
His tongue prises between my lips, tangling with mine in desperate urgency.
I sigh into the kiss as he holds my face close, and I taste a sting of salt.
I realize more tears have escaped him, and I try to gentle the storm, easing back until I’m pressing soft, comforting kisses against his lips.
“ It’s okay,” I whisper between kisses. “ I’m okay.”
Actually , I can’t hold myself up. I’d say I feel weak as a kitten but I’m pretty sure a kitten could kick my ass right now. Still , even weak and dizzy and with every movement an agony, I wouldn’t stop this for anything.
Jasper’s kissing me like I matter.
He finally pulls back, sucking in a deep breath, and settles me back into the bed. He gives me a dark look as he pulls out an embroidered handkerchief from his slacks and cleans his damp cheeks with zero shame. The look promises punishment, but I’m starting to float.
I abruptly remember we have company and lift my eyes to Beau and Jayk , who are both staring at us in shock. Jasper and I have never been that overt in front of anyone before. And barely in private either. I can’t keep my lips from splitting into a wide grin.
Beau’s lips twitch in response, and Jayk just scowls.
“ How do you feel?” Beau asks, moving forward. He pulls his stethoscope up from around his neck and presses the chilly metal against my chest. Jasper watches him with concern.
“ Horny ,” I respond, then cough when my raw throat protests.
Jasper stands quickly and pours me a cup of water as Beau gives me a dry look.
“ You have no idea how lucky you really are. An inch either way and either of those bullets would have ended you in seconds. As it was, I wasn’t sure you’d make it.”
I’m not really sure how to respond to that, so I just say, “ I knew you’d take care of me, doc.”
Jasper makes a sound suspiciously like a growl as he hands me my water, and I shoot him an innocent look.
Beau removes the stethoscope from my chest and studies me. “ So how are you rea—”
“ He’s fine,” Jayk snaps impatiently, seeming to break out of his momentary surprise. “ He’s talking. We’re all thrilled you’re alive yada yada, and Beau can keep patching you up all night, but for now just tell us where your fucking stash is.”
I frown, confused. “ My —”
“ Your stash, your hidey hole, whatever you call it where the weapons are. We’ve been searching for it for a day and a half.”
“ Are we still under attack? Why are you all here when—”
“ For fuck’s sake,” Jayk bursts out, and that interrupting thing is getting really annoying.
Still , he looks more agitated than I’ve ever seen him.
He steps toward me aggressively, and Jasper steps in front of him, cutting him off.
Jasper may be tall, but Jayk has him well and truly out-muscled.
And yet Jasper looks as cold and calm as he ever has.
I’m going to get hard despite how shitty I feel if he keeps defending me like this.
Beau grimaces. “ Jayk , I said I’d ask him. Step out if you can’t control yourself.”
Some of that floating sensation starts to fade as I take in the tension in the room. I meet Beau’s eyes, knowing he’ll give it to me straight.
He nods at me. “ The hunters have scattered. Eden brought Dom an arsenal from your stash, and he blew the bulk of them to pieces while we got to safety. There’s no sign that they’re coming back to the house—wouldn’t be much point now anyway, since it’s shot to hell, and they’ve realized there are no women here like they thought. ”
Jayk hisses in impatience, but Beau doesn’t react, keeping his gaze steady on mine. This is all sounding like good news so I know there has to be more.
“ In the middle of this, Eden went back to get more weapons.”
My stomach sinks, only now reading the fear and worry in Beau’s face.
His voice turns husky. “ That was over eighteen hours ago. We haven’t seen her since. Dom’s out looking, but... we don’t know where to start, and there are tracks everywhere.”
I shake my head, not understanding. She was meant to be safe. Out of all of them, they were meant to keep her safe.
“ You’re not—” Trembles crash over me. “ You can’t be saying that—”
“ Eden’s missing,” Jayk bursts out, and I recognize the agitation for what it is. Fear . “ And we think they took her.”