Chapter 3 Naomi
THREE
NAOMI
Personal Interview
“Ow!”
Embarrassment flooded me as my phone slammed into my face, dropping from where I had been holding it above me.
Thankfully, no one was around to see it.
I was just lying in my bed, chilling before I had to take the next group of dogs for a walk.
Normally, I wasn’t one for doing any activities that weren’t sleep or sex in my sleeping area, but I’d changed into my favorite loungewear and wanted creature comforts while I took another look at the silly app I’d downloaded the night before.
What was I thinking, really? A human dating thingy? If I didn’t have any luck in the supernatural world, what made me think I was going to among the good old Homo sapiens?
Then again, no human would care that I didn’t have an inner wolf and had never shifted in my life.
They wouldn’t even know about it. For the first time as an adult, I might be able to approach romance on a level playing field.
Besides, if I didn’t count my slightly accelerated healing, my somewhat sharp hearing, my silver and wolfsbane allergies, or my higher metabolic needs, I was basically a human—at least that was what my family loved to remind me of.
Grimacing, I abandoned that line of thought and typed in my age, username, and general bio.
It felt odd not to immediately start with a disclaimer about being a latent shifter, but it was also kind of nice.
For once, I could focus on what actually made me me, instead of trying to warn people about what I lacked.
Maybe this wasn’t such a bad idea.
With that done, I moved on to the questions that were supposed to help determine the compatibility with other people on the app.
Are you a dreamer?
Hmm, was I? I honestly didn’t know. It felt like I’d been fighting so long to claw my own little path out in the world that I’d forgotten what it was like not to keep my head down and blindly fight toward a goal.
Yes. I decided finally. After all, hadn’t I spent hours upon hours daydreaming about having an inner wolf? Hadn’t I whittled away whole chunks of my pubescence, wishing I could shift? As much as I had mostly come to peace with that, sometimes I still found myself longing.
What is your love language?
I frowned at that. Was that a human thing? I’d never heard of it, so I skipped it.
Do you want children?
Oh.
It was a simple question, but my reaction to it wasn’t. It rose up, whip-quick, a mix of dread, rejection, desire, and even hope.
I suppose, in most of my daydreams, there were little ones around the hearth. Only a couple, but they were there. But since I’d never had a real partner, that had been pushed so far onto the backburner that I wasn’t even sure that was something I wanted anymore.
Hmm…
I am open, but uncertain, I typed finally.
Because as I’d crossed over the great barrier of thirty, I’d found myself becoming less and less interested in a literal baby in my life—I sure did love my sleep more and more.
But at the same time, when I closed my eyes and imagined my happily ever after, those little ones were still there.
What did that mean? That I wanted to adopt? That I could tough it out through the early years? I had no idea, so yeah, it remained I don’t know.
The queries continued. Did all human dating rituals start with a questionnaire? Some of the questions made me wish our shifter apps had something similar, while others seemed entirely asinine.
Toilet paper under or over?
Who cares? I typed.
The Lady or the Tiger?
I squinted at that one. Didn’t I read that in eighth grade?
You’re being arrested! What’s the charge?
Enjoying a succulent Chinese meal!
Are you a morning person or an evening person?
I paused, giving it actual thought. I’m fine with either as long as I get a solid eight hours of sleep. Unlike my fellow full shifters, I couldn’t run on less snoozing hours like they did.
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
Kill a man.
Do you believe there is a reason that we are here, a predetermined fate laid out for everyone on Earth, or that there is no set path and ultimately life ends in nothingness?
I stared at that one. Wasn’t that kind of deep for a dating app?
“I think I’ll skip that one,” I murmured to myself, wondering what the next one could be.
Pineapple on pizza?
Huh. Talk about whiplash. Nevertheless, I answered honestly.
Only with white sauce and jalapenos!
As much fun as I was having with the wildly disparate questions, I figured I should wrap it up and get ready for my next walk. So, one more question then.
And what a question it was.
Do you believe in the supernatural? Complete with a sparkle emoji.
I laughed out loud. What were the chances of that? I supposed the app’s name was more apropos than it knew. Once I was done chuckling, I answered with a very firm:
No.
Ha!
With that done, I exited out of the matching questionnaire, but not before triple-checking that my results were saved, then looked at the very first picture in my match list. A little animation popped up, asking if I wanted to swipe right or left, but instead of doing either, my nerves got the better of me, and I closed the app.
I wasn’t expecting anything to come of it.
I was slowly coming to terms with the fact that I would likely be alone forever—at least romantically.
But I had my lovely clients and their doggos, Tweety, and who knew how many friends to find in the future.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be a spinster.
It wasn’t like I was going to turn into a crazy cat lady.
I lay there for a bit longer before getting up and going through my usual to-do list before my afternoon crew.
Just as I was about to leave, my phone buzzed in a pattern I didn’t recognize.
Confused, I tapped the screen to see a notification from the dating app.
Huh. I didn’t remember enabling push notifications for that…
Nevertheless, I opened it, and there was another animation of some fireworks across the screen before a bold message announced that just ByChance, it had the perfect match to start me off. I couldn’t help but huff a dry laugh.
“I very much doubt that!”
Nevertheless, I clicked on the blurry photo, and it suddenly clarified in a wave of sparkles. I didn’t know how to feel as I looked at a photo of a drop-dead gorgeous, but definitely human guy. That was my perfect match?
He had hair that was somewhere between brown and russet, styled impeccably in a way that made me wonder if he was fresh out of the salon when someone took the photo.
It had to have been from a while ago, considering he was wearing a peacoat.
His dark blue eyes were crinkled at the corners from him smiling at whoever was taking the photo.
Although I could only see his upper half, I could tell he was tall, not quite slender but not chiseled with muscles either. If I had to guess, he was probably a swimmer. There was a kindness to him I hadn’t expected. It was almost disarming, in a way.
And this guy was my perfect match?
I stared at his photo a moment longer, my mind zooming off in directions it didn’t need to yet. He was a human after all, and I was just doing this on a lark. I was sure once I checked his profile, I would be turned right off.
Greetings! My name is Rowan, and I’m a bit of an old soul in what feels like an even older body. I prefer live music over bar hopping, and a good vinyl over a flashy car. Creature comforts are my middle name!
Actually, that’s a lie. But you’ll have to earn my trust to find out my real middle name.
I’ve never done anything like this, but it seems ever harder to find a genuine connection despite the world having more ways to connect than ever. It’s a bit lonely, sometimes. Even if nothing romantic is on the table, companionship and adventure is more than welcome!
I stared at the bio. I’d have to redo mine—it was far too generic. Maybe when I was back from my walk? My afternoon crew was a long one. I did an hour and a half for group A, which included forty-five minutes at the dog park, and then only an hour for my short-legged buddies in group B.
But, despite me telling myself that nothing would come from the app and it was just a distraction, I swiped right on my “perfect match”.
Only time would tell.