14. Stepping Back
14
STEPPING BACK
EVERETT
I call out to Kenzie, then the girls. No answer. The house is quiet. Too quiet.
I move through the rooms, listening for giggles or whispers, but there's nothing.
"Kenzie? Girls?" I try again, my voice echoing off the walls.
Still nothing. A flicker of worry sparks in my gut, but I push it down. They're fine. Probably just outside.
I head for the back porch, where Kenzie often sits with a book and tea. It's become a familiar sight these past few weeks. Her curled up in one of the Adirondack chairs, lost in a story. The image brings a warmth to my chest that I'm not ready to examine too closely.
As I slide open the glass doors, the scene before me stops me dead in my tracks. Kenzie and the girls are huddled around a puddle, hands, and knees in the mud, completely absorbed in whatever they've found.
"Look, Daddy!" Harper's voice rings out, her face lit up with pure joy. She holds up something small and green, a frog . "Isn't he cute?"
I smile. My little girl, usually shy and reserved, is beaming excitedly. She's changing, coming out of her shell more and more each day. And I know who to thank for that.
Kenzie looks up, a streak of mud across her cheek and an apologetic grin on her face. "Sorry about the mess," she says. "We got a little carried away."
I wave off her apology. "Don't worry about it. Looks like you're having fun."
Hazel pipes up, "Miss Kenzie's teaching us about frogs! Did you know they breathe through their skin?"
"Is that so?" I crouch beside them, carefully keeping my boots out of the mud. "What else have you learned?"
As the girls launch into an enthusiastic explanation of frog anatomy, I can't take my eyes off Kenzie. She's listening intently, nodding and asking questions, completely invested in their excitement.
She’s our glue.
Something shifts inside me, a piece of my carefully guarded heart giving way. Watching her play in the mud with my girls, letting them have fun and get messy. It's everything I've wanted for them. Everything my own mother would have done.
And with mud smeared on her face, her jeans, and her hands, I make a decision. When I return from this mission, I'm done fighting what I feel for Kenzie.
Life's too short, and she brings too much joy to our lives to keep pushing her away.
Kenzie stands, wiping her hands on her jeans. She gives me a tentative smile, and I can't help but throw her a wink. Her cheeks flush slightly, and I swear I see her knees wobble just a bit.
"Think you can get cleaned up for dinner in town?" I ask, letting a hint of flirtation creep into my voice.
She raises an eyebrow. "Depends on what you have in mind."
"The diner," I say, watching her reaction carefully.
Kenzie hesitates, and I can see the wheels turning in her head. The diner means being seen in public together, facing the town gossips head-on. I step closer, my voice low and firm.
"They'll have to go through me first."
Her eyes widen, but then she squares her shoulders a little taller. "All right," she says with a nod. "Girls! Let's clean up. I've got a taste for a milkshake."
The twins cheer and take off towards the house. Kenzie calls after them, "Take off those muddy boots. And no running inside!"
Their pace slows to an exaggerated shuffle, and I chuckle. As Kenzie moves to follow them, I reach out, catching her arm gently. She turns, a question in her eyes.
I'm acutely aware of the tension between us. It's my fault. That night in my office, I let things go too far, and my retort was to pull back. To give us some distance.
Kenzie, in her own special way, didn't push. And it only makes me fall faster.
I close the distance between us, my stomach in knots.
Without overthinking it, I tilt her chin up and press my lips to hers. The contact is electric, and my mind goes blank.
The kiss is soft, feather-like, but it's everything I've been longing for all day. The taste of her lips, the feel of her body against mine, it's like coming home.
My heart soars and plummets all at once, a whirlwind of emotions I didn't know I could still feel.
Her lips are warm and yielding, and she doesn't push me away. Instead, she deepens the kiss, her tongue timidly seeking mine. I groan, my hands instinctively finding their way to her hips, pulling her closer.
Our bodies meld together. All that matters is the two of us, the chemistry between us, and the way she makes me feel.
Reluctantly, we break apart, both of us breathless and flushed. Her eyes, usually so guarded, are now wide and filled with vulnerability.
I know she's as affected as I am, and I know I'm in over my head.
"I've been wanting to do that all day," I confess.
"What was that for?" she asks, her voice soft.
I shrug, trying for nonchalance even as my heart races. "For being you."
"We'll be ready in thirty." Kenzie walks backward with a smile that's hot enough to make my knees weak.
"Holler when you're ready."
And with a nod, she's off. I take a deep breath, steadying myself.
This thing with Kenzie, it's real. And for the first time in a long time, I'm ready to take that leap.
I give them time to get cleaned up before heading inside myself. The sound of laughter and splashing water drifts down from the upstairs bathroom.
Our house feels alive.
As I change into a fresh shirt, my mind drifts to the mission ahead. Tomorrow, I'll be back in soldier mode, focused on the job at hand. But tonight? Tonight, I'm just a guy taking his family out to dinner.
Family. The word catches me off guard. When did I start thinking of Kenzie as part of our family?
No point dwelling on that now. I need to stay present and not overthink things before they happen. One step at a time.
The girls come thundering down the stairs, clean and dressed in their favorite outfits. Harper's wearing the sparkly unicorn shirt Kenzie got her last week, while Hazel's opted for her "future scientist" t-shirt.
"We're ready, Daddy!" they chorus, practically vibrating with excitement.
"Inside voices, remember?" Kenzie's gentle reminder follows as she descends the stairs.
My breath catches in my throat. She's changed into a simple sundress and boots, her hair falling in loose twists around her shoulders. Nothing fancy, but she looks beautiful.
"You clean up nice," I manage to say.
Kenzie’s cheeks warmed with color. "Thanks. You don't look so bad yourself."
The air between us hums with a quiet intensity, our gazes locked. I want to kiss her again, to pull her close, and never let go. But the girls are watching, their eyes darting between us with poorly concealed curiosity.
"All right, troops," I say, clearing my throat. "Let's move out. "
The drive to town is filled with the girls' chatter, punctuated by Kenzie's laugh. I steal glances at her, caught off guard by how right this feels. The four of us headed out for a family dinner.
As we pull into the diner's parking lot, I notice Kenzie tense up slightly. I reach over, giving her hand a quick squeeze. She's been in town since the incident with Paige. But it's usually during non-peak hours.
"It'll be fine," I say quietly.
She nods, taking a deep breath. "I know. Thanks, Everett."
We pile out of the truck and head inside. The bell over the door jingles, announcing our arrival. A hush falls over the diner as heads turn to stare.
I lift my chin, locking them with a hard stare, daring anyone to say something. Kenzie steps closer to me, her arm brushing against mine, and I take her hand. Her gaze snaps to mine, and I wink.
This softens her features, and I want to kiss her again. The girls, oblivious to the tension, bounce ahead to our usual booth.
"Evening, folks," Betty, the waitress, greets us with a warm smile. If she's surprised to see Kenzie with us, she doesn't show it. "The usual for you all?"
I nod, grateful for her easy acceptance. "Thanks, Betty. And a strawberry milkshake for the lady."
Kenzie looks up at me, surprised. "How did you know?"
I shrug, feeling a bit sheepish. "Lucky guess."
As we settle into the booth, I can feel the weight of curious stares. But I focus on my girls, on Kenzie's smile as she helps Hazel color her placemat. This is what matters. The rest of the world can go to hell.
Dinner passes in a blur of laughter and easy conversation. The girls regale Kenzie with stories from school, and she listens with rapt attention, asking questions and offering encouragement. I find myself watching her more than eating.
As the meal winds down, I excuse myself to use the restroom. When I return, I overhear a snippet of conversation from a nearby table.
"...can't believe he's parading that woman around town. After what she did to poor Paige..."
My jaw clenches, anger bubbling up inside me. I'm about to say something when I feel a hand on my arm. Kenzie.
"It's okay," she says softly. "Let it go."
I look down at her, ready to argue, but the calm in her eyes stops me. She's stronger than I give her credit for.
With a nod, I slide back into the booth. Harper immediately launches into a story about her art project, and I let myself get lost in her enthusiasm .
As we're getting ready to leave, I notice Kenzie hanging back slightly. I raise an eyebrow in question.
"I just wanted to say thanks," she says, her voice low. "For tonight. For... everything."
The sincerity in her eyes strikes me. I lean in and press a soft kiss on her forehead.
"Thank you," I murmur against her skin. "For being here. For being you."
She looks up at me, her eyes shining with something I'm not ready to name. But I feel it, too. This connection between us is growing stronger by the day.
As we head out to the truck, the girls fill the silence with their chattering excitedly about their milkshakes, and I place a timestamp on the moment.
This is us.
This is what I want—my girls are happy, and Kenzie is by my side.
But as I start the engine, reality crashes back in. Tomorrow, I leave for a dangerous mission. There's no guarantee I'll come back.
I glance at Kenzie, laughing at something Hazel said. Tension builds inside me. My fists grip the steering wheel as I watch her, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between us.
I want this. I want her.
But the weight of what I do lingers, and it is heavy, making me hesitate. The risks are too real, too close .
The drive home is quieter, and the girls are sleepy from their full bellies and the excitement of the evening. Kenzie hums softly along with the radio, her voice a soothing backdrop to my swirling thoughts.
My thoughts drift to the days ahead. This is a 72-hour mission. The stakes are higher, and the risks greater. And now, I have so much more to lose.
As we pull up to the house, I kill the engine but don't move to get out. Kenzie gives me a questioning look.
"Everything okay?" she asks softly, mindful of the dozing girls in the backseat.
I nod, my throat tight. How do I tell Kenzie the depth of what I'm feeling?
My life with Raven V is a calling. But right now, all I want is to be here with her and the girls, safe and happy.
"What is it, Everett? You're scaring me." Kenzie's voice is soft, mindful of the sleeping girls in the back.
I turn to her, taking in her concerned expression. The warmth in her eyes hits me like a punch to the gut.
"Operation Veilstone," I say, the words heavy on my tongue. "It's our first big mission."
Kenzie's brow furrows. "I thought you were just doing tech work."
I shake my head, guilt gnawing at me. "It's more than that. We're extracting a high-value target. Someone with information that could change... everything ."
Her eyes widen. "That sounds dangerous."
"It is." I run a hand through my hair, searching for the right words to explain without worrying her. "The extraction site's a fortress. Hostiles are everywhere. And we've got intel suggesting potential double-crosses."
Kenzie reaches out, her hand resting on my arm. The touch sends a jolt through me. "Everett, I..."
"I shouldn't be telling you this. It's classified. But I can't..." I trail off, struggling to find the words.
She squeezes my arm gently. "You can't what?"
I meet her gaze, struck by the understanding I see there. "I can't leave without you knowing the truth. About who I am, what I do."
Kenzie's silent for a moment, processing. Then she nods slowly. "Thank you for trusting me."
The simple words hit me hard. Trust. It's been so long since I've truly trusted anyone outside my team.
"My team," I continue, the words coming easier now. "Axton, Owen, Callum, Jace. We're more than just tech guys. We're... we're soldiers. Operatives."
"And you're their leader," Kenzie says. It's not a question.
I nod, my jaw tightening as an unusual pressure settles in my stomach, torn between the burden of concern and the flicker of something that feels like pride.
"Yeah. And this mission isn’t just another job. It's a test. Of our skills, our trust in each other."
Kenzie's quiet for a moment, her hand still on my arm. When she speaks, her voice is steady. "You'll come back. I know you will."
The faith in her voice nearly breaks me. "Kenzie, I... you deserve better than this. Than a man who might not come home."
She shakes her head fiercely. "Don't. Don't push me away because you're scared."
"I'm not scared," I growl, but we both know it's a lie.
Kenzie leans in, her eyes blazing. "You are. And that's okay. But don't use it as an excuse to shut me out."
I stare at her, stunned by her fire. This woman sees right through me.
"I can't promise I'll always come back," I say, the words tearing at my throat. "But I promise I'll always fight like hell to."
Kenzie nods, her eyes shining with unshed tears. "That's all I ask."
I carry the girls upstairs, their weight a comforting reminder of what I'm fighting for. Kenzie follows her presence, a balm to my frayed nerves.
"Storytime, Daddy?" Harper asks, her voice thick with sleep.
I nod, settling onto Harper's bed. The girls curl up on either side, their small bodies warm against mine. Kenzie stretches out at the foot of the bed, her eyes soft as she watches us.
"Once upon a time," I begin, the familiar words grounding me, "there was a brave knight..."
The story unfolds, a tale of courage and loyalty. As I speak, I envision the parallels to my own life. The knight's quest, his unwavering dedication to protect those he loves. It hits closer to home than I'd like to admit.
Hazel's breathing deepens first, her little hand going slack in mine. Harper follows soon after, her head heavy on my shoulder. I finish the story in a whisper, more for myself than for them.
"And the knight returned home, victorious and safe, to the family who waited for him."
Kenzie's eyes meet mine over the sleeping girls.
Her presence is a balm to my battered soul. And I feel something shift inside me. A wall crumbling, letting in light.
My heart whispers thank you . To the universe, to God, to fate.
Thank you for our paths crossing. That I can leave my girls safe with Kenzie. That I have this to come home to.
I ease myself off the bed, tucking the girls in. Kenzie stands, her hand brushing mine as we leave the room.
In the hallway, the air between us shifts. Kenzie looks up at me, her eyes searching mine. I want to reach out, to pull her close, but uncertainty holds me back.
Tomorrow looms, dark and dangerous.
I cup her face in my hands, drinking in every detail. The curve of her cheek, the warmth of her skin. I lean in, pressing my forehead to hers.
"I don't want to leave," I murmur, the admission tearing from my throat.
Kenzie's hands come up to cover mine. "Then don't go."
We both know it's not that simple. But for a moment, I let myself imagine it.
Staying here, safe with her and the girls.
No more missions, no more danger.
But that's not who I am. And Kenzie knows it.
Kenzie leans, her eyes searching mine. "Everett... please… "
The sound of my name on her lips feels like her soul calling out to mine. Our lips meet, soft at first, then with growing urgency.
I kiss her, pouring everything I can't say into the contact. She responds instantly, her body melting into mine. The kiss deepens, hunger and desperation fueling our movements.
My body presses into hers. She arches into me, a soft moan escaping her. The sound ignites a fire in my veins.
"Kenzie," I breathe against her skin. "I want you. But if we do this..."
She pulls back, meeting my gaze. "I know the risks, Everett. I want this. I want you."