Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
JASMINE
Frustration simmered beneath my skin, and disappointment swelled in my chest as I drove home.
I thought for sure I’d turned a corner with Gabe today, but the moment we got too close, his walls went up.
One minute he acted like he was going to kiss me, and the next he was pushing me away.
He encouraged me to go out and have fun with my friends, so that was what I would do.
I hopped out of my car and marched toward the house.
My phone chimed from my pocket and I pulled it out, hoping to see a message from Gabe asking me to come back.
Instead, it was the group chat with my friends, another inquiry to see if I was still coming.
I was typing out my reply as I neared the front porch steps, so I didn’t notice Nash leaning against the side of the garage smoking a cigarette until he spoke.
“Where’ve you been?” he asked, smoke curling around him.
“Out,” I answered vaguely. It was exactly the way he would respond.
He chuckled then pinched the cigarette between his thumb and forefinger to take one final drag before tossing it onto the ground and crushing it with the toe of his boot. Stepping out of the shadows, he leveled his assessing gaze on me.
“You’re wearing a man’s shirt,” he noted, and I glanced down at myself, having forgotten that I’d borrowed one from Gabe. I looked back at my brother, meeting his eye and jutting out my chin in defiance.
“And?” I challenged. I didn’t walk on eggshells around him like the rest of my family, and that was probably why I was the only one he really talked to, though our conversations were still few and far between.
“Whose is it?” he asked curiously. If it had been Rowan or Jacek, they would’ve gone into protective big brother mode and demanded to know.
Not Nash. He was subtler and more calculating.
He observed silently, collecting evidence, and if warranted, would strike.
That was what happened his junior year when he found out some freshman boys were picking on Audrey’s little sister who was still in junior high.
He recorded them saying the most vile things to her, and when he stepped out of the shadows, all three of them nearly pissed themselves.
He set them straight, and no one ever bothered her again.
“None of your business,” I replied with a playful smirk, hoping not to engage his protective side.
The last thing I needed was for him to confront Gabe and try to fight him in some misguided attempt to protect my honor.
Then I turned on my heel and headed for the front door, not realizing Gabe’s last name was printed across my back in bold letters.
Thirty minutes later, my clothes were changed, my makeup and hair were freshened up, and I was sitting around a table with my group of friends I’d had since grade school. We ordered a round of drinks and chatted while we waited for our food.
“I heard you’ve been tearing it up on the circuit,” Simone said before taking a sip of her bubble gum pink cocktail.
“I’ve placed first in all my competitions so far, but it’s still early in the season,” I offered with a shrug.
I wasn’t one to toot my own horn and I didn’t want to jinx myself, especially after what happened at the last race.
“And I’ve already managed to injure myself,” I added with a self-deprecating chuckle.
“How long until you can race again?” Madison asked.
“I’ll be fine in time for my race next weekend. I just need to be extra careful with training next week.” I hadn’t been on my horse since I got hurt, and I was itching to ride, but I wasn’t stupid. I wouldn’t take any chances and risk making things worse.
“So what have you been doing on the weekends you don’t have a race?” Riley asked, one brow cocked in intrigue like she expected me to reveal something juicy.
“Yeah, we haven’t seen you in a while,” Maya added, her tone playfully accusatory.
“Just working on the ranch,” I replied casually, though my heart rate picked up speed like I’d been caught at the scene of a crime, and this was an interrogation.
“Is that what they’re calling it these days?” Riley teased.
I forced a lighthearted laugh. “No, really. I’ve been giving extra riding lessons and training every chance I get.” That was all technically true. I just happened to be spending more time with my student and her dad than I did anyone else.
“Riding lessons, huh?” Madison waggled her brows suggestively, and the entire table burst into a fit of giggles.
“Not the X rated kind, unfortunately,” I clarified. It had been far too long since I’d participated in any activities that went beyond PG13.
“So you’re not secretly seeing anybody?” Simone asked.
“Nope,” I answered, and my chest constricted, a dull ache settling in the space behind my sternum.
I wanted to be seeing someone, specifically Gabe, but I couldn’t tell them that.
It was too risky. In a town like ours, all it took was someone overhearing something they shouldn’t or one of my friends confiding in the wrong person for the information to get back to my family.
With the way rumors spread and took on a life of their own, the facts would be so inflated that everyone would think we were sleeping together even though he hadn’t so much as kissed me. Yet.
“Well, that’s good because my fiancé is meeting up with us at Spokes & Spurs, and he’s bringing a few of his single friends,” Simone announced, a huge grin splitting her face.
The entire table went deadly silent for a moment as we all registered what she just said before erupting in cheers and congratulations.
“Let us see the ring!” Madison demanded, and Simone held out her hand for us to ooh and ahh over it. I was over the moon for my friend. Genuine excitement fluttered in my chest, but I was also happy to have the spotlight off me finally.
We were still giddy from Simone’s news—and the subsequent champagne we had in celebration—when we arrived at the bar.
Her fiancé, Ben, was already there with his crew.
He bought us a round to celebrate their new engagement.
By the time his friend Tristan asked me to dance, I was already feeling a little tipsy.
Tristan was objectively good looking. He was tall, but not as tall as Gabe.
His eyes were a deep chocolate brown, not sapphire, and he had a head of solid dark hair with no silver strands peppering his temples.
Like Ben, he was two years older than me, but he was immature.
Every time he laughed at something stupid one of the other guys said, I cringed.
Still, I let him kiss me, hoping it would spark something inside me and smother the yearning I felt for a man I couldn’t have.
It didn’t work. All I could think about was how different he was from Gabe.
His smell was all wrong, and his arms were too bulky.
I didn’t get the tingles in my belly or flutters in my chest that I got with just one look from Gabe, and this guy’s tongue had been in my mouth.
He was a damn good kisser, but still, I felt nothing.
When Tristan went to grab us another round of drinks, my phone vibrated with an incoming text. I glanced at the screen and saw I had a few messages from Gabe I hadn’t noticed.
Gabe: I hope you’re having fun. Stay safe tonight.
Gabe: Rory wanted me to tell you goodnight and that Andy is sorry for peeing on you.
I scrolled down to find a photo of Rory in her pajamas, holding Andy with her cheek pressed to his, and the corners of my lips hitched up. The next text was time-stamped nearly an hour later.
Gabe: If you have too much to drink, call me. I’ll come pick you up.
Tristan returned, drinks in hand with a huge smile on his face and clear interest shining in his eyes, so I pocketed my phone and aimed my focus on him.
Gabe’s texts had been sweet, but there was nothing to indicate his concerns went beyond friendliness.
There was no sense dwelling on a man who didn’t plan to pursue me, despite the clear attraction and chemistry we shared.
My friends and I hung out late into the night.
I continued to dance and laugh with Tristan, but didn’t drink anymore after that last cocktail he bought me.
I let him kiss me a few more times, and even stone cold sober without my senses dulled, it lacked that all-consuming fire that burned through my veins when Gabe touched me.
So when he asked me to come home with him at the end of the night, I politely declined.
He looked disappointed but certainly not heartbroken over it as he sat back on the hood of his car.
He studied me for a moment as something familiar flashed in his eyes.
“Who is he?” he asked.
Anxiety flooded my veins, and I sucked in a panicked breath. “Wh-what do you mean?”
“The guy you’re hung up on.”
I released a nervous laugh. “Is it that obvious?”
“Let’s just say that like calls to like. Consider me a … kindred spirit,” he conceded sadly, and suddenly I felt a sense of comradery with him. It made me let down my guard just enough to make my own confession.
“Someone I can’t have. Someone who wants me but will never take the risks necessary for us to be together.” Admitting that out loud felt like a punch to the gut.
“I understand that more than you know.” He pushed off the hood and reached his hand out to me. “Friends?” he asked. I slipped my hand into his, and we shared a commiserative smile.
“Friends,” I agreed, hoping he could find happiness with the person he was pining after even if I couldn’t.