Chapter 27
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
JASMINE
The ruse worked. When I returned to the table, there was a glass of water and a couple packets of saltines waiting for me.
“You gotta learn how to hold your liquor better, Little J. You dishonor the family,” Varen said with a theatrical scowl in his best mobster impression.
I saluted him, but when I lowered my hand, I flipped him off. The entire table erupted in laughter except for Gabe. His tension was palpable. He was restless, though he covered it well by continuing to engage in polite conversation for the short time we remained at the bar.
“We’d better get back. I’ve got to race again tomorrow,” I announced, standing from my seat. We said our goodbyes, and I pulled each of my cousins into a hug.
“I wish I could come and watch you race, but we’re heading out on the road tomorrow for a couple away games, and you know I ain’t got shit packed,” Varen said with his signature crooked grin.
I rolled my eyes and chuckled. “Of course you don’t.”
“I have to head back to campus in the morning, so I’ll miss it too,” Luna said, regretfully. “But send me your schedule, and I’ll try to make it to one this summer.
“Will do,” I promised before departing.
Gabe was quiet and distant on the return trip.
Now that we’d kissed, I expected him to be more open with me, to finally relax and accept this thing happening between us once we were alone again.
He’d played his part well when we were still at the bar, pretending he hadn’t just pressed me against a wall and kissed me senseless, but there was no one to put on an act for now.
Still, he was silently brooding, his jaw set tight and his posture rigid.
It felt like everything had changed between us, yet nothing had changed at all.
He’d given me a taste of how it could be between us. It was just enough to make me crave another hit. I wanted more. I wanted to feel that same scorching desire that set me ablaze the moment he’d finally touched me.
But he didn’t seem in any hurry to pick up where we’d left off.
He hadn’t touched me since we’d parted ways in that dark hallway.
He didn’t put his hand on the small of my back when we walked through the crowded bar like he normally would or hold my hand on the way to the truck.
I really thought we’d turned a corner, but instead of finally relinquishing control on his restraint like I had expected, he was withdrawing. And it was pissing me off.
By the time we got back to the trailer, he wasn’t the only one brooding.
I was fuming. How dare he dangle that carrot in front of me only to rip it away after my first nibble?
If Luna hadn’t shown up when she did, Gabe would’ve done a lot more than just kiss me.
I’d felt the proof of his arousal pressed against my stomach.
He was ready and raring to go. If I’d ever had any doubts that he wanted me, they were quickly erased by the hardened ridge of his impressive erection.
Now he wanted to act like nothing had happened, and I wasn’t having it.
“Are you ready to address the elephant in the room?” I asked once we were back at the trailer. Planting my hands on my hips, I gave him an expectant look.
“What do you want me to say?” he asked, his tone defeated and his gaze weary.
“I don’t want you to say anything. I want you to finish what you started,” I said in challenge, taking a step closer to him.
“I can’t,” he said, his voice thick with anguish.
“Can’t or won’t?” I demanded.
“Damn it, Jasmine,” he groaned, scrubbing a frustrated hand over his face before lifting his gaze to mine. The guilt twisting his features was like a punch to the gut. “Your father—”
“No,” I snapped, cutting him off. “I’m twenty-one years old, a grown ass woman.
My father has no say in who I date or who I sleep with.
Why are you letting him have a say in what you do?
Just admit that you have feelings for me, and stop holding back out of some misguided sense of duty or loyalty to my dad. ”
He flinched, and pain flashed across his face. Glancing away, he drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly as he pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Think about how worried we were about your cousin catching us kissing. Now just imagine how much worse it would be if it was your dad,” he said, meeting my gaze again, his pleading blue eyes filled with concern. “Or one of your brothers,” he added.
“Nobody would have to catch us if we didn’t try to hide anything from them,” I explained. “We wouldn’t have to tell them right away. We could take our time exploring this thing between us first, and if we decided we wanted to pursue something serious, we could tell them then,” I added hopefully.
“It’s not that easy, and you know it. Your family would never accept us being together. You’re too young for me.”
“I’m not,” I countered, taking another step toward him. “I’m old enough to know what I want, and I want you,” I declared, closing what distance remained between us and placed my hand on his chest. His pulse thundered against my palm and his breath hitched.
“If I touch you and they find out, I’m a dead man.”
I slid my hand up to his face and cupped his cheek.
He closed his eyes and leaned into my touch, reveling in the feel of my soft skin against his scruff.
“They might be upset at first, but they’d eventually come around.
” We were almost chest to chest now. I could lean up and kiss him, but I wanted him to come to me.
As though he could read my thoughts, a pained look flashed across his features before he squeezed his eyes closed. “We can’t,” he claimed in an agonized voice.
“We can,” I countered, trying to make him see that even though it would be hard in the beginning, it would be worth it. He opened his eyes and looked down at me with steely determination.
“We shouldn’t.”
“That’s debatable.” We stood so close that I could pick out every shade of blue in his sapphire irises as his eyes searched my face. They dropped to my mouth and a storm of longing swirled in the indigo depths. He was about to crack. I just needed him to take that leap of faith.
Instead, a fissure opened up in the center of my chest when he stepped out of my hold and shook his head. My hand fell limply at my side as I swallowed the emotion that threatened to come screaming out.
“I-I need a moment,” Gabe said, deliberation creasing his brow.
He was a man on a precipice, grappling with a decision that could alter the entire trajectory of his future.
Would he follow his heart and take a chance at finding true love, or would he let his fear of everyone’s disapproval rob him of the possibility of a happily ever after?
“I’m going to take a walk, clear my head for a bit.
I’ll check on Juniper and make sure she’s settled in for the night. ”
Clearly, he needed space, and that was fine.
I would give it to him. He needed to choose this, and he needed to have a clear conscience when he did.
I stepped aside to let him pass, folding my arms over my middle to avoid reaching for him.
A wave of exhaustion washed over me once he was gone, and I slumped against the counter, defeated.
I rushed through my nighttime routine and fell into bed bone tired.
It wasn’t long before sleep pulled me under, and my dreams were filled with sapphire blue eyes blazing with desire and lips I feared I’d never feel on mine again.