Chapter 34
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
GABE
Iwanted to flip a fucking table.
I wanted to break the closest beer bottle over a complete stranger’s head.
I wanted to walk out on that dance floor, rip that man’s hands off Jasmine, and carry her out of here “An Officer and a Gentleman” style as she took my hat and placed it on her head.
I didn’t know if that gesture held the same meaning when it was a service cap, but it would certainly signify what I wanted Jasmine to do to me.
Watching Elliot twirl and dip her made my stomach clench and my pulse pound with envy.
It was so painful, I had to turn away. I couldn’t stand the sight of it.
But I had to admit this was probably what was best for her.
He was an age appropriate match. They had shared interests and passion for their respective sports.
Her family was far more likely to approve of a relationship between them than they would one between us.
And it was obvious they had a history. I’d suspected it before, but she’d all but confirmed it with the blush that tinted her cheeks and the familiarity with which they touched.
Had they fucked? Had he seen her glorious form completely bare like I had? Did he know what she tasted like?
The mere thought sent a wave of rage crashing over me.
I clenched my fisted hands together atop the table to keep from using them to pummel his young, stupidly handsome face.
He wouldn’t be so perfect for her with two black eyes, a crooked nose, and a few broken teeth.
I didn’t consider myself a violent man, but Jasmine brought out every primal urge I had to protect what was mine.
But she wasn’t mine. I was too chicken shit to face the inevitable wrath of her father to change that.
Drawing in a deep breath, I blew it out slowly and tried to calm my temper.
All they were doing was dancing. Jasmine was just young and having fun.
That was what she was supposed to do at this stage in her life.
She wasn’t supposed to be hanging out with an old man like me and watching movies and getting ice cream with my daughter.
She wasn’t supposed to be knitting chinchillas and braiding hair and riding carnival rides with someone else’s kid.
But yet, that was exactly what she’d been doing for the last couple months, and she’d seemed to enjoy every moment.
Maybe it was time for me to stop assuming I knew what was best for her and let her decide for herself.
Jasmine was breathless, and perspiration dotted her skin when she returned to the table. Much to my chagrin, Elliot followed close behind. She picked up her drink and took a long pull from the straw.
“Thanks for asking me to dance. That was fun,” Jasmine said.
“It was my pleasure,” Elliot replied.
I just bet it was, I thought, jealousy rearing its ugly head again.
“A few of us are going to the bar across the street when we’re done here. We heard they have a mechanical bull. I want to see how well I fair on it compared to the real thing,” Elliot said, flashing her what I assumed was supposed to be a panty-dropping smile. “Do you want to join us?”
Jasmine’s gaze skirted to me. Elliot noted the shift and the question in her eyes.
“We won’t be out too late,” he assured us both.
“I know you’ve got another race in the morning, and I’ve got to prep for my competition too.
I’ll have her back by eleven,” he promised like I enforced a curfew on her. The implication made me sick.
Noticing my scowl, he backpedaled. “Or you can come with us,” he offered. “You look like you know your way around a bull,” he added with a nervous chuckle.
I shook my head. “My bull riding days are long over, and I’m too old for barhopping.
” Elliot’s shoulders visibly relaxed at me turning down the obligatory offer.
“But Jasmine is free to do as she pleases. She doesn’t answer to me.
” I wanted her to turn down his offer with every molecule in my body, but I also wouldn’t hold her back.
The choice was hers, and I wouldn’t stand in her way or try to sway her.
Anger flared in her eyes, but it was soon replaced by vengeful determination.
“You know what, that actually sounds like a lot of fun. Let’s do it,” she said, injecting faux excitement into her tone. Dread washed over me and flooded my system. I’d just made a grave miscalculation. What if I’d just pushed her straight into the arms of another man?
Regret twisted my gut, but it was too late to take it back.
They were already halfway to the bar where they were greeted by a group of guys in cowboy hats and two women I recognized as barrel racers Jasmine had competed against today.
They exchanged a few words before heading for the door.
Jasmine glanced over her shoulder, her eyes finding mine in the crowd as her face twisted with a mournful expression.
Then a mask of indifference slid into place and she turned away, disappearing through the doors.
But not before I saw Elliot’s hand clutched in hers.
I was too restless to sit in the trailer and wait for Jasmine to return.
I’d nearly worn a hole in the floor with my pacing.
Checking my phone for what felt like the hundredth time, I deflated at the lack of missed calls or messages from her.
I contemplated calling her under the guise of checking in.
I tried to convince myself it was only because I worried about her having issues with her blood sugar or insulin pump, but really it was because I was terrified she was hooking up with Elliot.
The anxiety buzzing beneath my skin grew to an unbearable level, so I grabbed my keys and headed toward the horse stalls. It always calmed my nerves to go for a walk and take care of Juniper.
“There’s my girl,” I crooned as she came into sight. The sound she let out was a mix of a snort and something that sounded like a groan of irritation. Sometimes she acted just like Jasmine, and that thought brought a smile to my face.
I refilled her water and tossed her some alfalfa hay.
“You did good today,” I said, scratching her withers.
She stretched her neck out and released a soft nicker.
After that, she was more receptive to my presence.
I stayed and talked to her for a while, calming us both as I brushed her.
When I was done, I secured the latch on her stall door and stopped at the hand washing station next to the exit.
The unmistakable sound of a diesel engine approached as I rinsed the soap from my hands, and I turned just as a truck pulled up.
The person in the passenger seat leaned over and hugged the driver.
My heart sank when I saw that it was Jasmine.
Then I realized they were alone, and I nearly doubled over as pain speared through the center of my chest.
The door opened and she hopped out, waving a final goodbye to Elliot before heading in my direction. She didn’t notice me at first as she stared at the ground in front of her. When she finally lifted her gaze, her step faltered.
“Gabe,” she breathed, her eyes widening in shock. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to check on Juniper.” I motioned in the direction of Elliot’s truck as it drove away. “Why’d he drop you off here instead of the trailer?” I asked, my voice laced with suspicion.
“Because I asked him to,” she snarked, crossing her arms over her chest and leveling her glare on me. “I need to take care of my horse.”
“She’s all set for the night,” I said as she made to step around me.
I glanced down at her and saw her chewing on her lip in contemplation.
“She’s been fed, watered, brushed, and had her withers scratched.
” Her features softened, but she didn’t look at me.
“You’re more than welcome to look in on her.
I’ll wait here so I can walk you back to the trailer. ”
“I don’t need a chaperone. I’ll be fine.
” There wasn’t a chance in hell I’d let her walk through this sea of trailers and campers by herself in the dark.
Rodeo folks were generally good people, but there were bad eggs in every group, and there were predators everywhere.
I kept that thought to myself. She already thought I was too overprotective.
“Nonetheless, I’ll be here when you’re done.”
She rolled her eyes and proceeded to Juniper’s stall, returning a few minutes later. “Let’s go,” she said, stomping past me. The moment we stepped outside, I felt it. Tiny raindrops misted my skin.
“We better hurry,” I said. Right on cue, a loud crack of thunder reverberated through the air.
She breezed past me, and I fell into step beside her.
A long, tense silence stretched between us.
It was killing me not knowing what she did or where exactly she’d been.
For all I knew, they may not have spent any time at the bar and fell straight into Elliot’s bed.
“Did you have fun?” I gritted out as our trailer came into view.
“Had a blast,” she snipped, her tone flat and dispassionate. The rain picked up, turning from a steady drizzle to a light shower that would have us soaked through if we didn’t get inside soon.
“Did you—” I began, but cut myself off to swallow the bile rising in my throat at the question I was about to ask.
I didn’t want the answer, but I had to know.
“Did you sleep with him?” She whirled on me, and hurt and disbelief flashed in her eyes, but she schooled her expression and straightened her spine.
“I’m not answering that,” she said resolutely, her nostrils flaring as her features twisted.
A wave of agony slammed into me, and my stomach knotted with despair.
She whipped back around and continued toward the trailer.
I stumbled after her, feeling like my legs were made of lead and I was walking through Jell-O.
“Please, tell me you didn’t,” I croaked out as she reached the back end of the trailer. She drew up short at the desperate plea in my voice.
Releasing a humorless laugh, she turned to face me, her expression incredulous. “You don’t get to act all jealous when you did nothing to stop me from going with him, when you continually refuse to choose me.” Her voice was laced with fury, but her eyes brimmed with tears.
“Jasmine.” My voice cracked as I took a step closer. The sky opened up and the rain poured down her stricken face, mixing with her tears and soaking her hair and clothes. It was a fitting backdrop for the tumultuous feelings churning in my gut.
“I deserve better. I deserve someone who truly wants me,” she declared, tapping her closed fist to her chest.
“I want you,” I proclaimed, my words choked as emotion swelled in my throat.
“Not enough to do anything about it. Not enough to take a risk and see where this leads,” she declared, her anguished expression morphing into that fiery determination that I loved and admired, even when it was directed at me.
“If we choose to be together, it could send our entire lives up in flames. It would hurt the people we love. Would you really be okay with that?” I thought of Woody and how this would crush him, how it would destroy our friendship and devastate their family.
She studied me for a long moment, contemplating my question. When she spoke again, her gaze was steely, but her voice was eerily calm.
“If we don’t, and you let me go, I’m eventually going to move on. I’m going to dance with other men, kiss them, laugh with them, fall asleep in their arms. Are you okay with that?”
Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.
The thought of someone else getting to love her, of having to watch her fall in love with another man caused an ache in my chest that knocked the wind from my lungs.
If I let her walk away, I’d lose her for good, and one day I’d have to stand by and watch her find happiness with someone else.
But acting on my feelings meant potentially sacrificing my friendship with her dad, my career, and the life I’d been trying to rebuild in Poplar Ridge.
It all boiled down to what I was willing to risk losing.
And it wasn’t her.