Chapter Seven #2
“Heath taught me how to fight.” I stare at my food.
I’m not ready to explain all my reasons.
“I felt powerless, and being here helped. It’s not just about strength, but strategy.
My opponent can be bigger and have more muscle, yet I can have a better plan of attack.
I’ve never fought a fox. All of them have been a different species.
I like it when they judge me. I love the shock when I get the upper hand. ”
“I get that,” he says quietly.
“It’s a rush. The environment is controlled, and I know Heath wouldn’t let me get badly hurt.” I continue eating, looking around the space.
“I would like to see one of your fights,” he says, and I focus on him. “Even if I do, I’m not sure how I’ll react. I’d like to think all I would do is cheer you on, but the bond is strong.”
“You could try.” It would mean something if he could accept what I do.
“I’ll do my best.” He finishes his stack of pancakes and moves on to the potatoes. “What did Haven mean?” he asks, and I frown. “She asked about a scar.”
“Oh…” I didn’t want to talk about it last night. “I was shot recently.” He drops his fork and narrows his eyes.
“Explain,” he says gruffly.
“A woman came here to find Haven. She was obsessed with her and wanted to take over her life. I showed up, and she had a gun pointed at my best friend. She was still human. A gunshot wound would have killed her. I lunged for the woman, and she fired.” I lift a shoulder.
“I couldn’t allow her to die. She’s been a big part of my life.
A lot of times, she’s been the only one I could talk to and be myself.
I knew I would probably be able to heal.
She had her future ahead of her with her mates. ”
“What about your future?” he asks.
“I didn’t think about it. She was in trouble, and I would do it again.” I lift my chin.
“I admire your sacrifice…”
“But?”
“I’m attempting to think about the situation as if it wasn’t my mate at the center of it.
” He leans back and stretches his legs in front of him.
“If it were Allie, I would think it was the most selfless thing she could do for a friend. I would be pissed if my mom or sister did it. I know we haven’t known each other long, yet I feel protective of you.
You know the bond is driving me. I want to know all parts of you.
What I know so far is enough to tell you that I feel something, more than the bond.
I like you as a normal man likes a woman.
I’m grateful that you healed, and Haven is not hurt. What happened to the woman?”
“I killed her.” His words hit me hard. His feelings are understandable, and if the situation were reversed, I would think the same way.
“Good. If not, I would have found her.” He rubs his hand over his head. “Did you heal fast? Where were you shot?”
“It took some time,” I murmur. The pain was extreme, and Haven didn’t think I would survive. “It was on my left side.”
“Where?” he demands.
I lift my shirt slightly. “It didn’t scar, and I healed fully.” I look at my smooth skin. I inhale sharply as he brushes his thumb across the area, and I look at him.
“At least I can pretend it didn’t happen,” he grumbles, removing his hand and easing away. “I’m sure it’s not as easy for you to forget.”
I shake my head and lower my shirt.
“In the moment, all that mattered was her,” I say softly.
“She had a horrible childhood and didn’t have the family she deserved.
I wanted her to be happy, and she found that with her mates.
She was on the verge of getting everything.
I couldn’t let it be taken away. As I was lying there, the pain overwhelming, she cried, demanding I heal.
I thought, what if I didn’t? She would be sad, and Heath would lose control.
I didn’t have any other close relationships.
Yes, the family here is wonderful, but I don’t spend time with them every day.
At least if it were me, they could move on. Her jaguars couldn’t.”
“Fuck, baby,” he whispers.
“I didn’t want to die. Yet, when it became a real possibility, it was better for me than her.” He stares at me, and I swallow hard.
“I’ve never believed that everything happens for a reason.
I think fate has a hand in our lives, but we make choices.
Our actions affect the consequences.” He bends his knees and props his arms on them.
“I’m going to have to rethink my opinions.
Thankfully, you survived. All the bad shit that has happened to you led you to this place.
” He looks around the room. “To this family.” He focuses on me.
“To me. I need you to believe that you are worthy of all the happiness that Haven has, and I do too.”
“I want to believe,” I whisper.
“I know, baby.” He presses his hand to his chest. “I feel it.” He turns, bending his leg and stretching his other behind me.
“My dad passed away when I was ten. My mom was his fated mate and the love of his life. My memories are filled with his deep laugh, singing voice, big heart, and patient soul. A group of shifter hunters found out he was a fox. My parents shielded us from the cruelty of humans. I didn’t know there were such groups.
We lived quietly and were taught to be careful.
Dad thought he was alone when he shifted; unfortunately, someone saw.
He went for a run, shifted back, and was attacked. They shot him five times.”
“Ezra,” I gasp, grabbing his hand.
“We didn’t find out until the next day. Mom searched all night and followed her grief deep into the forest. It was too late.
He couldn’t shift and heal. I am astounded at my mom's strength then and now. Her mate was dead, and she had two young children depending on her. One of the hunters followed Mom and took pleasure in telling her all the details. She killed him next to Dad. Her only thought afterward was to protect us. We were pulled out of school, and we had to leave everything behind. We couldn’t give him a proper burial.
I can still feel the dirt on my hands as I dug a grave in the forest. Escaping our home was the only choice.
Mom was terrified the hunter's friends would come looking for him and find us. We didn’t understand.
Issy was destroyed. She was forced to leave her friends, and then found out her dad was gone. ” He stares at our joined hands.
“You lost him, too,” I whisper.
“Yeah, but I knew I couldn’t grieve then.
I had to be Mom's support. The pain she must have been feeling. We drove all night. We stopped and got a hotel. She must have thought we were far enough away that she could finally take a minute. Once she got us settled, she cried. She thought we were sleeping, but I was awake. I will never forget the sound of her agony. The other half of her soul was gone, and I couldn’t give him back to her.
I’ve never felt so helpless. I lay there with dry eyes and made a promise: always take care of them.
I would be her support. From that day on, I did everything she said.
I didn’t complain, and I watched her. We traveled for weeks and finally settled.
She worked numerous jobs to keep us fed and under a roof.
In the first few years, the places we lived weren’t great, but we survived.
“I wanted to be the perfect son, calm, considerate, and helpful. A year after Dad’s death, Mom asked me to sit with her outside.
I would do anything for her, so we sat side by side in the grass, and she held my hand.
She realized what I was doing. I wasn’t being a kid, and took on the role of the man of the family.
Very politely, she told me to knock it off.
” I grin slightly. “Although she would love to have a son who was perfect in every moment, that wasn’t possible, and she feared for my childhood.
She didn’t want me to resent her in the years to come.
Mom explained that if I loved her, I would stop.
So, I did. I still tried to be all the things I wanted to be for them, but I began to feel all the emotions I had shoved aside.
“It took Mom three years to buy a house. She worked, saved, and lived simply. I couldn’t imagine a woman more resilient than she is, and I’m proud as fuck that I came from her.
The first time I had my heart broken, I moped around the house for a week.
I thought a human was the love of my life.
Mom educated us on the facts of mating, but I ignored that she wasn’t my mate.
I asked her how she got through losing Dad, and if she regretted loving him.
I had seen the devastation she went through, and she pulled through with sheer will.
She told me she would lose him all over again for just one moment of feeling the love he gave her. ”
“That’s beautiful,” I say softly.
“At the time, it was difficult to understand. Why would she be willing to lose him again? I saw the pain. The sleepless nights. There was a sadness in her scent, and still is. My respect for her grew as she explained further. She treated us as if it were a gift. Our dad lives through us, and she wouldn’t ever give that up.