Chapter Eleven #2
“He was possessive, so he didn’t let them touch me sexually.
Which I learned was odd, since they had done this before, and they all participated in the torture.
Yet, he was alright with his friends chasing me through the house and cutting me with knives to see how fast I would heal.
They locked me in a room if they had to leave, and clasped my ankles with chains attached to the wall.
I think they thought I was broken, and I wouldn't try to escape. I had a fire inside me, urging me not to give up because it would be so easy. I knew no one would rescue me. My family didn’t care, and I didn’t have friends in town. ”
I bow my head and wipe my cheeks. Ezra’s scent is a mixture of rage and sympathy.
“They always left at least one of them in the house at all times to guard me. He had some kind of control over them. They didn’t break his rules, but pushed the boundaries when he wasn’t there.
Touches that latest longer, threats, and promises that they would get their turn.
On the seventh day, one of the other humans was ordered to guard me, and he didn’t tie me up as the others did.
He was the least abusive, as if he was at war with what he knew to be right, and the pressure of his friends.
He was grateful to be included in the group, and their opinion held sway.
“The windows were boarded up, and I ripped off three fingernails trying to pry them off. I moved to the door. It was locked, but it wasn’t strong.
When I was in the chains, they knew I wouldn’t be able to get to the door.
They barely feed me, so I was weak, yet I had to find a way out.
” I focus on my mate's face. “I broke my foot breaking down the door, but I did it. I knocked the guard out with a piece of wood, and left that house and ran, naked, bleeding, and hobbling. It was hours back to town, and I stole some clothes. I was thankful it was dark. I didn’t go home.
There was an alley beside a building. It had several dumpsters big enough to hide behind while I caught my breath. I huddled there, in shock, but alive.
“That is where Heath found me. He rescued me that day. I didn’t know what he was, and I should have been terrified.
He was a strange man offering to give me a place to stay.
Something was telling me that he was good, that he was powerful enough to fight all my demons, and he did.
I took his hand, and he has never hurt me.
I had food, shelter, and safety. He didn’t push for answers, and he allowed me to lock my door.
I had the control, and I didn’t talk to him for weeks.
He left meals at my door, and didn’t pressure me for answers.
He became someone I could trust just by giving me space.
"I eventually healed my wounds, but the scars will always remain inside me because nothing could heal my soul. I didn’t want to think about the things I went through.
Maybe if I didn’t, I would be normal again, and I could act like it never happened.
Heath knew I would break. There is only a certain amount of trauma a body can endure before it snaps.
He was there when I did. He got me help and listened in his own way.
“He didn’t treat me as if I were damaged.
I knew if I reached out to my family, they would, so I didn’t.
I moved on without them. They didn’t look for me, and my life was better without them.
Heath eventually taught me how to fight, and it gave me confidence.
I have setbacks and moments of panic. My new brother demanded the names of the men who held me captive.
I gave him a list. His mission was to find and kill them.
He succeeded except for the man I killed.
I didn’t tell him his name because I wanted to be in a place in my life where I could do it myself.
"I was upset that I couldn’t finish him.
I swore I would cut his dick off. He used it to abuse other women and me.
Heath discovered what I was doing. I would do anything for him.
He gave me a home, and the skills to fight back.
” Ezra bows his head, and I put my hand over his.
“I don’t want you to treat me differently.
It was hell, and I’ve tried to heal. I will always have the memories, but they’ve eased over the years. ”
“You are not damaged,” he growls, lifting his head. “I want to kill them myself. Heath has my gratitude and respect. I can feel your pain. I’m glad you didn’t give up, but I wish you hadn’t been there to begin with. Those men are rotting in hell, and I hope they burn for all eternity.”
“At the time, they made me think I did something wrong. I was desperate for love, so maybe I didn’t see the signs. I tried to justify it. If he had asked in any other environment, I would have had sex with him. I blamed myself for a long time,” I whisper, tracing his knuckles, hoping to soothe him.
“Fuck that,” he rasps, retracting his claws. “He used your open heart and loyalty. They are to blame. You did nothing wrong. Did you give them permission?”
“No.” He turns his hand and laces his fingers with mine. “I said no, and I fought like hell.”
“No good man would ignore your denial. He knew you didn’t want it, yet he forced himself on you,” he grits out.
“Now, I know it wasn’t my fault. I have worked hard to change that mindset.
I’ve seen the kind of love I want. The family here has shown me more kindness than anyone.
Haven is my best friend and has been there for me in ways I still don’t think she understands.
I don’t share my life with everyone. Heath and Haven are the only ones who know about my past. Sally has guessed because she knows things.
” I tighten my fingers. “I know the difference between what he did to me and sharing my body with someone I choose. He didn’t love me.
It took a long time to enjoy sex. There are things I will never do.
I refuse to be tied up. I’m afraid the nightmares will return.
I’ve taken my time with us because this matters.
You are different, and I want to have a physical relationship with you.
I’m not scared of you,” I say softly. “But of myself.”
“Why?”
“What if I can’t do it? What if I have a panic attack? If something sets off a memory, I would feel horrible.”
“Shit.” He pulls lightly on my hand. “Come here.” I slide back my chair and let him guide me to his lap.
He cups my cheek. “Baby, I will never pressure you. Last night was the most erotic night of my life. The most important thing is you and your safety. If something happened in the moment, we would stop, and there is no shame in that. I will never be upset with you because of it.”
“You’re too good to be true.” I lunge forward, wrapping my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.
“Shit, I’m barely holding it together,” he mumbles, cupping the back of my neck. “It’s rare for me to feel rage and show it. I don’t want to scare you because I want to hunt down your parents and kill them.”
“I think you're doing well,” I say.
“Have your parents tried to find you?” he asks, and I turn my head, lying my cheek on his shoulder.
“No.” I don’t want to tell him, but I need to be honest. “Bobbie said something while they had me, but I don’t know if it’s true.”
“What?”
“He could have been lying,” I murmur, and he wraps his other arm around my waist. “He said that my parents are the ones who arranged it.” His body tenses. “That they made money from giving me to him.”
“What the fuck?”
“I don't know what to believe, but I’ve left it in the past.” If it’s true, I could kill them myself.
“I can find out. I’d like to say I would only do it with your permission, but I would be lying,” he grumbles, and I smile.
“I will leave it to you.” I bury my nose in his shirt. It feels nice to depend on someone else. Heath is always there for me, but my mate is different. “I enjoyed last night.”
“Baby, I loved every second,” he rasps, and I lift my head, staring at him.
“I knew you needed time, and I don’t have a problem giving it to you.
Hearing what you have been through shows me you are even stronger than I thought.
This isn’t short-term. We belong to each other, and that will never change. ”
“I feel everything with you.” I drag my fingers through his hair. “You're sexy, kind, and a little dangerous. A wicked combination.” I smirk.
“Dangerous,” he hums. “Perhaps, but never to you.”
“I know.” I glance at his lips. “Seeing you in your environment helped grow my trust in you. I loved being with you. I felt as if I was making a difference, taking back pieces of my soul through helping his victims.”
“I’m proud of you. I want you to work with me.”
“You do?” I planned to ask him, but I know he likes to work alone.
“Yes. The mask is a necessity. I’ll buy you more.”
“I liked wearing it,” I confess.
“You looked sexy as fuck in it,” he says gruffly.
“Yeah?” I breathe.
“Yeah, Foxy.”
“I’m not afraid to dress up,” I rasp.
“Good to know,” he hums.
“I don’t want you to be afraid to touch me.” He’s holding back, and I appreciate it.
“Slow, baby.” He glides his hand up my back.
“I agree, but we can speed up slightly.” I lean closer, my focus on his lips. I never kissed my dates, and the men whom I chose to share my body with, it was minimal. Kissing my mate is a sensual experience.
“Really,” he mutters, using his other hand to cup my chin. I wait, and then wonder why I’m waiting for him to make the move. So, I go for it.