Chapter 4 Savannah
Savannah
“This is weird,” I said, glancing around the diner like people were watching, but no one was because we were two towns over in Copper Creek, where not a soul knew us.
Nobody knew our families’ history, or that we were supposed to hate each other.
We were just two kids on our first date, which happened to be my first date ever.
“What’s weird?” Weston asked, taking another sip of his strawberry milkshake.
“This,” I whispered, and then my cheeks got a little warm. I looked down at the table, biting back a smile. “Us.”
“I like it when you say that.”
I looked up at him through my lashes. He was giving me a grin that did crazy things to my heart. “Say what?”
“Us,” he answered softly. He reached across the table, past our milkshakes and burgers, and took my hand in his. “Is there an us, Sav?”
I blushed harder at the way he said the name only he called me, at the warmth of his hand around mine. “Do you want there to be?”
“No. Don’t do that. Tell me what you want.”
I wanted him, and it scared me how much. It’d only been three days since he kissed me at dawn, and we’ve been meeting up at the fence line every night since to talk more…and maybe kiss some more, too.
“I want there to be an us.”
“Thank God,” he said, letting out a dramatic sigh, falling back into the booth. “That would’ve been an awkward car ride back if you had said no.”
“You’re terrible,” I laughed.
“I would’ve been crying so hard I couldn’t see the road. We’d wreck. Probably die. It would’ve been a nightmare. Mount would’ve lost his shit over the truck.”
I only laughed harder. “He still will,” I said, knowing Mr. McLeod would notice one of his trucks was gone when he went to do his evening ride.
Weston’s expression softened. “Good thing you’re worth all the trouble in the world, then.”
My stomach erupted with butterflies, and I sucked down half my milkshake to stop myself from leaning over the table and kissing him. He’d probably think that was stupid.
“You just might be the prettiest thing I’ve seen, Savannah,” he said, eyes locked on mine. “Like an angel.”
I jolted awake with a gasp, feeling like I was falling.
My heart was racing. The dream had felt so real that I was almost sad to have woken up from it.
I could still feel the heat of his palm against mine, the phantom butterflies, and the pang of longing.
Looking back, I think even in that moment, I had already loved him.
I blinked quickly, forcing the remnants of the dream away until my bedroom took over. The walls were butter yellow from the morning light, illuminating all my scholastic awards from middle and high school.
Clearing my throat and ignoring the ache in my chest, I rolled over and checked my phone. There were at least ten notifications, most of them from Stewart.
Missed call Stewart Kessler
Stewart Kessler: Call me please.
Tess Hayes: Taking Luke to get ice cream if you want to come
Claire Hayes: Staying at Beau’s tonight. Love you
Stewart Kessler: I just want to know you’re okay.
Missed call Stewart Kessler
Missed call Delilah Chase
Voicemail Stewart Kessler
Stewart Kessler: Seriously Savannah? You can’t keep ignoring me like this. It’s immature.
Inbox: Timothy Maddox (tmaddox@) Re: Bereavement Leave
I stared at the notifications until my screen dimmed, unable to deal with any of it right now.
I knew I needed to talk to Stewart, that he deserved an answer to his proposal, but I didn’t know what to say.
“Sorry, I panicked when you proposed and didn’t give you an answer?
”, “My mom just died, so I don’t know anything anymore?
”, “I watched my estranged ex I never told you about nearly die three days ago, and I lost it?”
None of it would’ve made the situation any easier, so I was determined not to respond unless it was with an answer. But seeing Weston last night rattled me to the point that I wasn’t sure which way was up anymore.
Stewart was a good man, if not a little boring.
He was a fantastic lawyer, and we initially bonded over work and the intellectual stimulation that it provided, but there was never that spark.
I’d never felt like I couldn’t live without him.
But maybe that stability and calmness were good and what I needed.
A loud crash from outside made me jump, followed by muffled voices. Men’s voices, but I couldn’t make out what they were saying.
When I got up and looked out my window, Weston was yanking his free arm out of Colt’s grip, refusing help. His face was tight with pain and frustration as he took the porch steps one at a time. His left arm was in a sling. And he looked utterly exhausted in a way I’d never seen before.
My heart sank at the sight of him.
I should go down there and help. But really, what help would I be?
I’d probably just be more of a nuisance than anything.
And what if I got down there and he wanted to talk about us more?
What if he gave me that gut-wrenching, hopeful look he had in the recovery room again?
I didn’t think I could take it a second time.
Colt said something, and Weston flipped him off, making Beau laugh before they all went inside.
I walked away from the window and got dressed for the day. I needed to start working on this merger as much as I needed to get away from here.
When I went downstairs after getting ready, Claire was walking through the door. She was already sweaty, and her tank top was dirty despite it only being eight. “You want to break a colt with me?”
That’s the very last thing I wanted to do, right next to figuring out my feelings. I waved my laptop at her before putting it in my tote bag. “No can do. I think I’m going to go to the diner and get started on the merger. Get out of the house for a while.”
“You mean get away from Weston now that he’s home.” It wasn’t a question, but an accusation.
I froze, staring down at my tote. I swallowed hard. “He’s home?” My voice was too high, too uninterested. She’d see right through it.
She walked past me to the kitchen. “You’re too smart to play dumb, Savannah.” She poured herself a glass of water and drained half of it. “Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two?”
My nosy sister had been trying since I woke up Saturday morning to get answers, and I’d yet to give her any.
Simply because I didn’t know what to tell her.
I didn’t know how she’d respond when I admitted to sneaking behind her and everyone else’s backs for two years while I fell in love.
Or that I kept it hidden for another eleven years after the fact.
The secrecy made it seem way more significant than it was, when it was just a high school romance doomed from the start.
And that was all it was. Nothing more.
It didn’t matter that Weston thought he still loved me. That was probably just the morphine talking anyway. And it didn’t matter that hearing him say that made my heart skip a beat. It was just the shock of the evening.
“It’s not important,” I said, throwing my bag over my shoulder. “I’ll see you later.”
“Right,” was all she said in response. “Tell Louise I said hi. And Gran, if she’s there.”
The diner was busy for a Monday morning, busier than I expected. It was my first time coming here since I’d been back home, and none of it had changed. The people, the worn leather seats, the slightly yellowed menus.
Wave after wave of nostalgia hit me. Memories of the six of us coming here as a family when I was a girl.
Nights spent here with Delilah and our friends from school while we drank milkshakes and talked about boys.
Or that one time I came here with Claire when I was sixteen, and Weston sat on the other side of the building with Colt, but stared at me the entire time.
I cracked open my laptop after ordering a veggie omelette, and started putting together documents I needed to have the property of the ranches rezoned. I also checked that I had the deeds to Golden Bridle and Circle M, as well as the list of assets.
I was rifling through Golden Bridle’s environmental reports with a mouth full of omelette when the kitchen door swung open. “Now I know you didn’t come to my diner to work,” Louise said with her hands on her hips. “This isn’t one of those internet cafe places you have in the city.”
I glanced up at her. “Hi, Miss Louise.”
She put a hand on the back of my laptop, pressing it closed, her coral red nails shining under the overhead lights. “You know that blue light mess gives you wrinkles and fries your brain.”
“It does neither of those things,” I replied as she snatched my plate and took it to her empty corner booth. A silent command to come talk to her.
I grabbed my stuff and followed after her even though I wasn’t really in the mood to spar with her. But there was no avoiding Louise, especially in her own diner.
She refilled my coffee and then sat down across from me. “So.”
“So,” I echoed while adding more creamer to my coffee.
“You gonna tell me what the hell that was Friday at the rodeo, or am I gonna have to guess?”
I shoved a heaping pile of omelette in my mouth.
She pursed her lips at me, her eyes narrowing. “So that’s how it’s gonna be?”
I finished chewing. “There’s nothing to say. Weston had an accident and I…didn’t take it well.” That was the understatement of the century—maybe even in the history of time.
“You sure make nothing look like a whole lot of something. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone that hysterical since Marlene found out her second husband faked his death to move to Arkansas with a twenty-something bartender he met in Amarillo. But what do I know? I’m just an old lady.”
Coffee shot out all over the table. I pressed a hand to my burning nose, my eyes watering. “I’m so sorry,” I said between coughs while she laughed.
“It’ll wipe up. Don’t stress,” she said, handing me napkins. But then her eyes met mine, seeing too much, and it made me squirm. “It’s okay to have strong feelings, honey, but don’t go and belittle them by saying it’s nothing.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come out. I hadn’t looked at it that way. I just didn’t want everyone in my business, and finally knowing something that I swore to myself I’d take with me to the grave.
“What’s going on over here?” Gran asked, looking between her best friend, me, and the spilled coffee.
“Just asking Savvy here what’s going on between her and Weston,” Louise said with a scheming grin while we both mopped up my spill. “She spat coffee at me like one of them spitting camels.”
“I did not!”
“Oh, Louise, leave the poor girl alone!” Gran sat down next to me. “Hi, sweet pea,” she said, giving me a pat on my cheek.
“Hi, Gran,” I murmured, mortified. It was hard enough dodging Louise. I didn’t know how I’d get both of them off my back.
“Well? Are you gonna tell us about Weston? Have you seen him?” she asked, looking hopeful. “That fall was just so awful. I should take him something. Do you think he likes cookies?”
I wanted to tell her Weston devoured cookies and never met one he didn’t like, but instead, I said, “I was just telling Miss Louise that there’s nothing to tell.”
“Now that’s just silly,” she laughed, and I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. “We’ve been around long enough to pick up on things, and you know what we see?”
My eyes darted between them, suddenly feeling like prey that’d been cornered. “What?”
“We saw the way he looked at you at that rodeo, and the way you fell apart when he got hurt.”
Louise took a bite of my omelette as if it were hers. Her voice was casual as she said, “Basically, we know you love each other.” I opened my mouth to respond, but she waved my fork at me. “You don’t need to pretend to deny it, honey. It’d be a waste of breath.”
I was getting ready to tell her she was wrong when my phone rang. All three of us looked down at the screen, and my stomach plummeted.
“Who’s Stewart?” Gran asked, picking up my phone.
I took it out of her hand, declined the call, and set my phone face down on the table. “Nobody,” I said quickly.
Louise snorted. “Yeah, right. Nobody doesn’t call this early. Who is he?”
“Someone from work.” It wasn’t a complete lie. But it wasn’t the full truth either. “It’s complicated,” I said finally, staring down at my half-eaten omelette that looked less appetizing by the second.
“Complicated is okay if that’s what you want,” Gran said. “But I know you, Savannah, and you don’t do complicated well. Never have. You need that simple, soft kind of love.” The sincerity and knowing in her eyes absolutely gutted me.
If only she knew the guy she was rooting for was the one who was making things so complicated.