Chapter 26
Erik wasn’t ready to tell his parents the entire story of what had happened in Norway yet because the whole legacy thing was so tangled up in everything he felt for Ida, and he couldn’t talk about that.
So instead of heading straight back to Toronto, he went to his place in Banff.
It was only the second time he’d been back since his accident.
Last time it had hurt to be there on the sidelines of a life that used to be his, but now, that’s what he wanted.
He wanted that to be the reason he hurt instead of that he’d lost Ida.
Distance, and the cold light of day made him see that Ida not begging him to stay had been for the best, and he should never have expected her to ask him to stay.
Why would she? He’d kept the reason for his visit to Norway a secret, even after they had shared so much of themselves with each other.
Of course, she felt betrayed. And even if she had said she wanted him, how crazy was that?
They’d known each other for a couple of weeks.
They’d left each other in better places than they’d found each other, but it wasn’t the basis for starting a relationship.
Banff in July was beautiful with no snow, except on the highest peaks.
In the resort where he lived, none of his friends were around because they had followed the snow to New Zealand or South America.
When you were at the top of your game, you couldn’t afford to sit and wait for the winter for snow to appear again.
Chasing the adrenaline rush was the only way Erik knew to shake off this melancholy. After his accident, there had been nothing he could do but wait it out, but having had a taste of it on the bike ride in Voss, he could try that again.
This time of year was popular for mountain biking. His friend Brad, who hired out ski gear in the winter, switched to bike hire over the summer.
‘Good to see you, man,’ said Brad, giving him a one-armed hug and a clap on the back that Erik reciprocated. ‘What brings you back this time of year?’
‘I’m chasing a high,’ Erik said, knowing his friend would understand.
‘I get you. Road or mountain?’
‘Mountain, for sure.’
‘I have a great electric model,’ Brad said, pulling out a new-looking bike with a slim battery. ‘It’ll help you on the ups without making it too easy.’
Erik shook his head. He needed to work for it. ‘I’ll take a regular bike.’
Brad looked as if he might say something about that. He knew what the deal was, but in the end, he shrugged. ‘You know what you’re doing.’
He absolutely didn’t know what he was doing.
The ride uphill was pretty gruelling, and he wished he hadn’t been too stubborn to reject Brad’s suggestion of an electric bike.
But it was too late now, and on some level the pain in his leg felt good.
He deserved it, and it wasn’t only the one leg either.
It was a brutal ride that would have been tough at his old fitness level.
At the top of the trail, the view over the resort was spectacular.
Very different from the Norwegian landscape around Bergen and Voss, but amazing in its own way.
He propped the bike against a rock, took his helmet off and sat down, laying out and stretching his aching muscles.
It felt so good to be up here again, even without the snow and a board.
It was an achievement, and he knew the best part was yet to come.
After a quick lunch of the sandwich he’d packed, a banana and a swig from his water bottle, Erik fastened the strap on his helmet, and sat on the bike again, ready to enjoy the feeling of the wind in his face as he barrelled down a different trail to the bottom.
He started out slowly, a little nervous to let the brakes off entirely and submit to the mountain, but once he could see a good stretch of the trail, clear in front of him, that’s just what he did.
It was as close as he’d ever get to the feeling of boarding, and after a few seconds, he realised he was grinning.
The wind in his face felt wonderful. He felt as if he were flying down the mountain, just like he used to, although in reality probably far more slowly.
As he neared the bottom of the straight part of the trail, he braked, but although the brakes engaged, the traction his tyres had on the dry, dusty ground was non-existent, and the bike skidded sideways.
In that split second, he knew he had to fall off the bike, or he’d be over the edge of the path and down the mountainside.
Fighting his instinct to keep the bike on two wheels, he fell to the ground, both he and the bike skidding to a halt several metres further down the trail, but thankfully not over the side.
He lay there for a moment, assessing himself.
The right side of his body — the parts that, like an idiot, he hadn’t covered — his arms and lower legs, were burning from being scraped against stones and rocks, but his leg didn’t feel any worse than it already did.
He’d reacted automatically, not to put a hand out to break his fall, a mistake he was well-versed in after a wrist fracture early in his career, but his elbow and shoulder had taken the brunt of the fall and hurt like hell.
Groaning as he sat up, he shifted the bike off himself and tentatively stood up. He was sore, but it could have been worse. He didn’t think anything was broken.
The ride down the rest of the trail was slow. His shoulder was too sore to stand having his hand on the handlebars, and without both brakes, and a little off balance, he had to have his feet ready to drop to the floor to slow him down. He made it, with some relief, and headed back to Brad.
‘Shit, Erik.’
‘I know. I guess I should have taken it easy my first time.’ He winced as he handed the bike to Brad and unclipped his helmet.
‘Sit down. You want some help to get cleaned up?’
‘No, I’m good.’ He would need help, but it didn’t need to be Brad. ‘I’m sorry about the bike.’
‘The bike’s fine,’ Brad said, scanning it quickly. ‘I think you came off worse.’
Erik grinned and shook his head. ‘I’ll be back.’
‘I’m not hiring to you if this is what happens,’ his friend said. ‘You look far too happy for someone who took a fall.’
‘It felt good to be heading down a mountain again. You know?’
‘Sure. I get it. But this is no different to snowboarding. You’ve got to have control, right?’
That sobered Erik. That was what had ended his career; someone who wasn’t in control.
‘You’re right.’
‘I’m glad you’ve found something to give you that high again. It sucks that you can’t board anymore, but if this works don’t screw it up for yourself.’
Erik got to his feet, keen to get himself patched up before he stiffened up too much. ‘You’re right,’ he said again. ‘I guess I needed to get something out of my system first.’
Brad nodded. ‘Well, you did a great job of that,’ he said, looking at Erik with raised eyebrows.
The medical centre was just down the street, and in the off-season, they weren’t so busy.
‘Erik Anderson.’ The nurse who came to fetch him from the waiting area stood with her hands on her hips while she waited for him to join her. ‘I didn’t expect to see you here. Wasn’t that last accident enough for you?’
He limped into the exam room and exhaled in relief once he was seated again. ‘I didn’t expect it either.’
He’d known Jessie for a few years. She was part of the on-call medical team and had been one of the first people to reach him that day.
She snapped a pair of gloves on and helped him take his t-shirt off.
‘Gravel hurts worse than snow, right?’ Her eyes scanned his arm and shoulder. ‘Any pain here?’
‘No.’
‘Here?’
He winced. ‘Yeah.’
‘We’ll get an X-ray, but I think it’s just bruising. Let’s get these grazes cleaned up first.’
‘Thanks.’
‘So I haven’t seen you around for a while,’ she said, unwrapping what looked like a scrubbing brush.
‘I’ve been in Toronto, mostly. And I just got back from a trip to Norway.’
‘Wow, really? This is going to sting.’
‘Shit, Jessie.’ It was excruciating as she began scrubbing the grazes on his arm.
His flinching did nothing to stop her in her tracks. ‘Got to get the dirt out. And how have you been? Missing the team?’
‘Yeah.’ His heart ached for it. Being in Norway had helped, but now he was back here, it was all too real again.
‘Did you talk to anyone about that?’
He knew she meant a therapist, and god knows his parents had tried hard to get him to agree, but he was a stubborn asshole. Especially when he was in pain. Like now.
‘I’m doing better now.’ He sighed with relief when she stopped scrubbing at him and covered the worst of the wounds with dressings.
‘Yes, I can see that.’
‘Jessie…’
‘Erik. I don’t want to see you like this. You’re tormented. Come on, I know we were just a casual thing, but I know you.’
‘It’s not about the boarding. I met a girl in Norway.’
‘You did?’ She grinned, and he loved that even though he’d treated her pretty badly back in the day, she didn’t hold that against him.
‘She’s amazing, but I think I’ve ruined it.’
‘Right. So this is you punishing yourself.’
He looked at her. ‘I guess so.’
‘I can’t say it’s not satisfying on some level to see you like this over a woman after seeing you not care less about any of the women you dated here.’
‘Brutal but true. I’m sorry, Jess. You deserved better than me.’
‘Yes, I did. And I have that now.’
He smiled at her, happy that she was happy. ‘I’m glad.’
‘You think she’d want you literally beating yourself up? How bad can it be?’
‘It’s pretty bad.’
She looped a sling around his neck.
‘Is this necessary?’
‘Yes. For a few days, at least. Stay here while I put the order in for the X-ray. And Erik? It won’t be as bad as you think it is.’
Back at his apartment, he peeled off his shorts and t-shirt, binned both of them and dressed in a fresh t-shirt and some jogging bottoms, all while trying not to move his shoulder too much.
He made himself some tea, swallowed some painkillers, and sat on the sofa.
Only now did he fully realise what a lucky escape he’d had.
Not only could he have gone over the edge of the path and down the mountainside, he could have injured his leg again.
Another injury to that leg would be hard to come back from.
He might not feel like it had fully recovered to what it had been like before, but he had to admit, unless he wanted to hike the side of a mountain, it didn’t hold him back much these days. What an idiot.
He pulled his phone out of his backpack and saw a couple of missed calls from his mom. He sighed. It was all very well coming to Banff to avoid his parents, but now they had sussed he wasn’t in Norway anymore, there was no way he could keep this a secret.
‘Hey, Mom.’
‘You’re back from Norway?’
Every time this happened, he wished he’d remembered to turn the location function off on his phone. His mom had insisted he have it when he first started going out alone after his accident in case anything happened.
‘Yes, I got back a couple of days ago.’ Why was he telling her this when clearly she already knew?
‘We thought you’d come back here, honey. What are you doing in Banff?’
‘I needed some time to reset after…’ He couldn’t tell her about Ida. Not yet. ‘The trip was amazing, Mom. The timber forest is there.’
‘Erik! That’s incredible! It’s really there? After all this time?’
‘Yep. I got to know the family who owns it, it’s still the Larsen family.’
‘Wow, well, isn’t that incredible. After all this time.’
He could hear the emotion in his mom’s voice.
This whole thing meant something to all of them for different reasons, and he knew for her, it was the thing she’d been able to use to see him through the dark times.
She probably thought this would be some kind of full-circle moment for him, and it was, but for different reasons than she thought.
‘When are you coming home? We can’t wait to hear all about it. And your dad’s desperate to hear about the timber. Do you think we can ship some over here?’
Suddenly, he was exhausted. The events of the day having caught up with him, as well as a little jet lag. He wanted to be at home with his mom. She loved him whatever he’d done, and maybe if he explained about Ida, she’d help him figure out what to do next.
‘I’m going to catch the next flight. Can you pick me up if I text you the details?’
‘Sure, honey. We can’t wait to see you.’
‘Me too, Mom. Love you.’
Erik’s father was waiting at the arrivals area in Toronto when he landed later that evening.
‘Your mother’s not going to be happy about that,’ he said, raising an eyebrow when he saw Erik’s sling. ‘Here, give that to me.’
Erik handed his backpack gratefully to his dad and felt overwhelmed to be back home where he didn’t have to navigate anything more difficult than lying on the sofa watching TV for a few days.
‘I’m guessing there’s more to the legacy hunt than you told your mother,’ his father said once they were on the road.
‘You could say that. Ida Larsen, she’s the great-granddaughter of the Larsen who signed the letter. We had a thing while I was there.’
‘What’s a thing?’
Erik sighed. ‘You know. We got together.’
‘Ah. And how did you leave things?’
‘Not great,’ Erik said. ‘I didn’t tell her why I was in Norway, so when she found out it was like I’d kept it a secret.’
His father didn’t say anything, which was almost as uncomfortable as a full-blown conversation about everything. The disapproval was radiating from him.
‘She’s different to the others, Dad.’
‘They’re always different, Erik. Don’t you think it’s about time you stopped with this casual dating and took life a little more seriously?’
For once, Erik bit his tongue. He didn’t want to get into a fight with his dad, but it felt as if life had been nothing but serious until he went to Norway.
Dating Ida had been the best thing he’d done.
It had given him a spark back. Was he kidding himself to think he was in love with her?
Maybe. That she was the reason he should stay in Norway?
Absolutely. But if he could find a way for them to have a second-chance, he was going to take it.