Chapter 21 Ressa
RESSA
He doesn't speak right away. The silence stretches between us, filled with nothing but the soft drip of water and the whisper of wind through crystals. My heart hammers against my ribs so hard I wonder if he can hear it.
I've laid everything bare. Told him things I swore I'd never admit to anyone, especially not an orc. And now he's just standing there, staring at me with those blue-green eyes that see too much, and I'm starting to think I've miscalculated spectacularly.
Maybe Saela was wrong. Maybe grand gestures don't fix cowardice and cruelty. Maybe—
Falla's hands cup my face, rough palms warm against my skin.
"I love you too," he says, his voice low and rough and absolutely certain. "Have been in love with you for weeks. Every check-in, every panic attack, every moment you let me see past your walls. I fell so completely that walking away felt like leaving part of myself behind."
The words punch through me, relief and joy and disbelief tangling together until I can't breathe properly.
"You do?"
"So much it terrifies me." His thumbs brush my cheekbones, gentle despite his strength. "Because you're right that loving someone gives them power to destroy you. And I've spent four days convinced I'd already lost you. That I pushed you too far, too fast, and ruined everything."
"You didn't push me." I reach up to cover his hands with mine, anchoring him to me. "I pulled you in because I wanted you. Wanted you so badly I couldn't think straight. And then I panicked like the coward I am and hurt you in the process."
"You're not a coward." His forehead drops to rest against mine, his breath warm on my lips.
"You're the bravest person I know. You survived hell, came out the other side, and you're still here fighting for connection even when everything in you screams to run.
That's not cowardice, Ressa. That's strength. "
The conviction in his voice makes my throat tight. I want to argue, to list all the ways I've failed in the past four days. But he's looking at me like I hung these rainbows in the sky instead of just arranging crystals and water, and I think maybe he sees something in me I don't see in myself.
"I missed you," I whisper. "So much."
"Missed you too." His mouth hovers over mine, close enough that I feel the shape of the words. "Every moment of the past four days felt wrong without you."
"Then kiss me. Please."
He does.
His lips meet mine with a tenderness that makes my chest ache, like I'm something precious he's afraid of breaking.
I melt into him, my hands sliding from his wrists to his shoulders as I press closer.
The kiss deepens slowly, carefully, and I taste his relief and love and want all tangled together.
When we finally break apart, we're both breathing hard.
"Take me home," I say. "Please. I need—" I can't finish the sentence but he understands anyway.
"You sure?" His hands frame my face, searching my expression. "We don't have to rush anything. I can wait as long as you need."
"I'm sure." I catch one of his hands and press a kiss to his palm. "I've spent four days regretting pushing you away. I'm done running from what I want."
The walk back to my cabin feels both endless and too short. Falla keeps glancing at me like he's afraid I'll disappear, and I squeeze his hand tighter each time, silently reassuring him I'm not going anywhere.
My hands shake as I unlock the door, nerves and anticipation making me clumsy. The cabin looks exactly as I left it this morning—sparse and clean and lonely. But Falla's presence fills the empty spaces, makes the walls feel less like a prison.
I turn to face him and he's already there, closing the distance between us with purpose. His mouth finds mine again and this kiss is different—hungrier, more certain. My back hits the door and I gasp against his lips as his body presses into mine.
"Bedroom," I manage between kisses.
He pulls back just enough to look at me, checking one more time that I'm certain. I answer by taking his hand and tugging him toward the small room where I've spent too many nights missing him.
The afternoon light filters through the thin curtain, painting everything in soft gold. I turn to face Falla and find him watching me with an intensity that makes heat pool low in my belly.
"I thought about this," I admit, my fingers finding the hem of my dress. "Every night you were gone. Remembered how good you made me feel. How safe."
"Ressa." My name sounds like prayer and curse combined. "You can't say things like that unless you want me to lose what's left of my control."
"Maybe I do." I pull the dress over my head, letting it pool at my feet. His eyes darken as they trace over my skin. "Maybe I want you to show me what I was too scared to admit I needed."
He crosses to me in two strides, his hands finding my waist. "Tell me if you need to stop. Promise me."
"I promise." I reach for his shirt, tugging it free. "But I won't need to. Not with you."
We undress each other slowly, carefully, like we're unwrapping something precious.
When we're both bare, I let myself look at him properly.
He's beautiful in a way that shouldn't work—green skin marked with old scars, lean muscle that speaks of strength and endurance rather than bulk.
And his cock, already hard and impressive, makes something clench inside me.
I'd seen it before, during the festival night. Had marveled at the size of him, the way my body had somehow accommodated all of that. But looking at him now, fully hard and wanting me, makes my mouth go dry.
"You're staring," he says, a hint of amusement in his voice.
"You're huge." The words come out breathless. "I forgot how much."
"And last time?"
"Last time was perfect." I step closer, pressing my palm flat against his chest. His heart hammers beneath my touch. "This time will be better."
He guides me to the bed, laying me down with a gentleness that makes my eyes sting. The thin blanket bunches beneath me as he settles beside me, one hand tracing patterns on my stomach.
"I need you to understand something," he says, his blue-green eyes locked on mine. "I can wait. Can give you all the time you need. Can be your friend if that's all you want. But I can't lose you again, Ressa. Can't spend another four days thinking I ruined this."
The raw honesty in his voice cracks something open in my chest.
"I'll have bad days," I warn him. "Days where the memories are too strong and I panic for no reason. Days where I need space or silence or things I'm not even sure how to ask for."
"I know." His thumb brushes my lower lip. "And I'll be there for all of it. Good days, bad days, everything in between. Just don't shut me out again. Don't run from me."
"I won't." I cup his face, making sure he sees the truth in my eyes. "I want you there. Want you for all of it. Want you, period."
"Say it again."
"I love you." The words come easier this time. "I love you and I'm choosing to be brave enough to keep you."
He kisses me then, deep and thorough, and I lose myself in the taste and feel of him. His hands map my body like he's memorizing every curve, every sensitive spot that makes me gasp. When his fingers slide between my thighs, I'm already wet and ready.
"Please," I breathe against his mouth. "I need you."
He positions himself over me, his weight braced on his forearms as the head of his cock presses against my entrance.
The stretch as he pushes inside makes me gasp—he's so big, thick enough that my body has to work to accommodate him.
But the slight burn feels good, feels right, and I hook my legs around his hips to take him deeper.
"Fuck," he groans, his forehead dropping to rest against mine. "All I've been thinking about is how perfect you feel."
"Move." I clench around him deliberately, making him curse. "Need you to move."
He does, pulling nearly all the way out before sliding back in with agonizing slowness. Each thrust goes deeper than the last, his cock filling me so completely that I can feel every ridge and vein. My hands find his shoulders, nails digging into green skin as pleasure builds.
This is different than last time. The mechanics are the same—his body moving inside mine, the friction and fullness and heat. But the emotional weight has shifted. Last time was desperate and new and tinged with fear that I'd wake up and regret everything.
This time, I know exactly what I'm choosing. Know that when the sun rises tomorrow, I won't push him away. Won't let fear steal what we're building together.
"I love you," I gasp as he hits something deep inside that makes stars burst behind my eyelids. "Love you so much."
"Show me." He picks up the pace, his hips snapping harder. "Show me you're mine."
I pull him down for a kiss, pouring everything I can't say into the slide of lips and tongue. My body tightens around his cock, pleasure coiling tighter with each thrust. He's so deep, so big, stretching me in ways that should be uncomfortable but instead feel necessary.
One of his hands slides between us, fingers finding the bundle of nerves that makes me cry out. He works me with the same patience he's shown everything else, learning what makes me gasp and moan, adjusting pressure and rhythm until I'm trembling beneath him.
"That's it," he murmurs against my throat. "Let go for me."
The orgasm crashes through me without warning, my body clenching so hard around him that he groans. Wave after wave of pleasure rolls through me as he continues to move, drawing it out until I'm boneless and gasping.
"Ressa." My name sounds wrecked in his voice. "Where—"
"Inside." I tighten my legs around his hips, holding him deep. "I want all of you."
He thrusts twice more before stilling, his cock pulsing inside me as he comes. The feeling of him filling me makes me clench again, aftershocks rippling through my oversensitive body.
We stay locked together for long moments, both breathing hard. Eventually, he rolls us so I'm sprawled across his chest, his softening cock still inside me. I can feel his release starting to leak out around where we're joined but I don't want to move yet.
"That was..." I can't find the right words.
"Better," he finishes, his hand stroking down my spine. "So much better."
"Because we're better." I press a kiss to his collarbone. "Because I'm not running anymore."
His arms tighten around me. "Promise me again. Promise you won't disappear."
"I promise." I lift my head to meet his eyes. "Bad days and all. I'll have them, but I'll have them with you instead of hiding from you. And on good days—" I smile. "On good days, we'll make more rainbows."
He laughs, the sound rumbling through his chest into mine. "Rainbows. That's your metaphor?"
"You gave me bracelet charms with specific meanings. I get to claim rainbows."
"Fair enough." He shifts slightly, making me aware that he's starting to harden again inside me. "Speaking of good days..."
"Already?" I rock my hips experimentally and he groans. "That's impressive stamina, healer."
"You bring it out in me." His hands cup my ass, encouraging the movement. "Something about loving you makes me insatiable."
"Good." I brace my hands on his chest, taking control of the rhythm. "Because I have four days of missing you to make up for."