Chapter 49
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
THORA
ONE WEEK LATER
Where the hell am I?
I keep running through the endless darkness, unable to see a thing, the ground beneath my feet the only proof that I’m getting anywhere at all.
The silence presses in around me. Why isn’t anyone here? Why am I alone?
“Hello? Can someone hear me?”
But just like every other time, no one responds.
My hope fades as I come to a stop, accepting that there’s no point in running when every path leads me in circles through the same endless darkness. I lower myself onto the ground, hoping nothing jumps out and eats me. That would be tragic. I’m not ready to die.
For a while, I just sit there, trying to figure out how the hell I got here. I should be terrified, considering I can’t see a damn thing, but there’s a strange peace around me that makes no sense at all.
Oh my God. Am I dead? Is this heaven? Hell? Somewhere in between?
Crap. What happened to me? Did I get stomped by a horse? Did a dog eat me?
Ugh, I hope not. That sounds vile.
Maybe I got shot by the person who shot Anton.
As soon as I think of him, my heart drops. Will I ever see him again?
Tears spring to my eyes, and I shake my head because I don’t know how we’re supposed to get past all of this.
He was right, though. He didn’t kill me. He could’ve done it so many damn times, and he chose not to.
Is that enough to hold on to? Can we make it to the other side?
Before I can think too much about it, a woman’s voice startles me.
“Don’t stop. You can’t stop running here.”
“What?”
Instead of answering, she smiles, her eyes warm, even with the urgency written across her face. “You can’t stay here, Penny. You need to find the door. You need to get out before you’re stuck here forever.”
Images of Charlie flash through my mind and I gasp, clutching my chest as the air disappears from my lungs.
What happened to me? What did he do?
“What door?” I ask, knowing I need to save myself.
“Just keep running. Don’t stop until you see the light. My boy needs you.”
Her words drift farther away, and panic rises as I call out, “Wait! Don’t go.”
But she’s already gone.
Sucking in dry air, I do what she said and start running again, pushing forward until my legs are ready to give out.
That’s when the first burst of light appears in the distance.
It starts small, but the closer I get, the larger it grows, spreading through the darkness until the shape of a door appears ahead of me.
Fear and hope crash together inside me, and the second I see the red handle, I don’t waste another second.
I grab it, yank the door open, and rush to the other side.
ANTON
Holding her against me, I listen to the monitors beep, hour after hour passing with no change.
They don’t know if she’ll wake up. They keep telling me to give it time, but I’m not a patient man. I need her to open her eyes.
“Thora, if you can hear me, follow my voice.” My mouth stays close to her hair, my hand wrapped around hers. “I’m right here, detka. I’m not leaving this room until you talk to me.”
The monitor starts beeping faster, her heart picking up, so I keep going. I’ll talk all day and night if it brings her back to me.
“I know you can hear me. Hold on to my voice, pozhaluysta.” Please.
Her fingers twitch against mine, the movement so faint I’m not sure it really happened.
I straighten and stare at our joined hands, waiting for another sign. “Thora? I’m here. Wake up and let me see those beautiful eyes.”
Her lashes flutter, followed by a quiet groan.
Blyat. Slava Bogu. Fuck. Thank God.
Relief punches through my chest as I press the call button. “I need help in here.”
The door swings open, nurses rushing in ahead of the doctors, but I refuse to leave her side while they check the monitors and shine a light into her eyes.
“Thora.” One of the doctors bends over her. “Can you hear me?”
“Where…where am I?” The words scrape weakly from her throat.
“You’re okay.” I squeeze her hand and press my mouth near her temple. “You’re in the hospital, and I’m right here.”
Her unfocused eyes drift toward me, gradually clearing until recognition settles across her face and her fingers tighten around mine.
“Anton?” Tears gather in her eyes, cutting straight through me.
“I’m here, detka. I’m not letting you go ever again.”
The doctor keeps working around us, asking her name, the year, where she is, and if she can follow his finger with her eyes.
Her answers are slow, rough from the rasp in her throat, but she gives them, and every word pulls air back into my lungs until I can breathe without feeling knives under my ribs.
I have her back. She’s alive. I keep repeating it to myself until I believe it.
The nurses adjust her pillows, give her ice chips, and check the bruising on her wrists and the bandage around her head.
“You should rest now.” The doctor cuts me a look.
He can fuck off if he thinks I’m leaving.
They finally go, and she sighs, closing her eyes as she burrows into me.
“I’ll protect you, Thora. With everything I have.”
She doesn’t answer, only falls asleep in my arms, and I stay there as the hours pass.
When she wakes again, she looks up at me. “How long have I been here?”
I don’t want to tell her the truth because it might scare her, but I don’t want to give her any more reasons to hate me either.
My thumb brushes over her knuckles. “A week.”
“Oh God. I’m sorry.” Her brow furrows.
“What are you sorry for, printsessa?”
“For making you all worry. My family must have been going nuts.”
“Everyone is happy you’re awake.”
Silence hangs between us before I say the one thing I can’t keep buried anymore.
“I’m the one who should be sorry.”
“Anton, no. Don’t.” Her weak smile rips into me as she picks up my hand and brings it to her lips. “We’re past you trying to kill me and everything.” She coughs out a laugh.
“It’s not just that.” My fingers squeeze hers. “This is my fault. I let you leave. I fucking let you leave.”
More tears gather in her eyes, and she kisses my knuckles again. “I’m alive because you found me, baby. Don’t do that to yourself.”
My forehead drops to hers. I don’t deserve her forgiveness. But I’ll take it anyway.
“I don’t know if I will ever be normal, Thora.
” I pitch back, my gaze fastening with hers, an unending bond no one can break, not anymore.
“I don’t know if I can give you what another man could.
I don’t even understand half of what I feel when I look at you, but I know I would burn the world down to keep you.
You are in every part of me now, and if that is love, then I love you. ”
Her face crumples, and I brush my knuckles along the edge of her cheek.
“I love you,” I repeat, the words hurting and healing me at the same time. “I love you, Thora Whitlock, with everything I have left in me.”
Tears slip down her temple into her hair. “I don’t need you to be normal. I love you for who you are. You’re enough, Anton. You have always been enough for me. I just needed you to see it.”
My eyes close as I hold her against me.
“You’re enough.” The words press into my chest as she repeats them, each one reaching another broken part of me until I almost believe her.
When I lift my head, I cup her face. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Too bad.” Her fingers move weakly over the top of my hand. “You’re stuck with me.”
“I like being stuck with you.”
She laughs. “I love you too, you big dummy.”
Her arms come around me, her cheek settling against my chest.
I want to believe this is real. That I have something that makes me feel whole. That she found the fractured pieces my father left behind and held them together until I remembered I was a man, not the hollow thing he tried to create.
Her fingers trace the edge of my jaw as her eyes search my face. “I think I saw your mother.”
Everything inside me goes still. “What?”
“When I was…wherever I was.” She tips her face toward the ceiling, exhaustion weighing down each word. “It was dark, and I couldn’t find my way out, but there was a woman. She had your eyes, and she told me I couldn’t stay there. She said her boy needed me, so I came back.”
I can’t breathe. For a few seconds, all I can do is hold on to the hope that my mother is really out there, still watching over me.
My hand covers Thora’s, and I send a silent thank-you to the woman who gave me life and somehow sent back the only good thing I’ve ever had.
For that alone, I will be grateful until the day that I die.
THORA
There’s a soft knock on the hospital door before I see her face. Blair enters with tears streaked in her eyes that she tries to hide, blinking them away.
“Hi,” she sniffles, coming to my bedside. “I leave you alone for a few days and you get your ass kicked?”
She shakes her head with a broken laugh, then throws herself at me, tenderly hugging me until both of us are crying.
“In my defense, I wasn’t actually looking for trouble this time.”
She sighs, gripping my fingers as she backs off.
“When Jace called to tell me you were hurt, my heart dropped. I thought…” She clears her throat.
“I’m just happy you’re alive.” Adjusting herself on the edge of the bed, she asks, “What happened? When I got here a few days ago, no one would tell me anything.”
“I promise I’m okay now. Except for this nagging headache, which the docs have said is normal for the extent of my injuries.”
I still can’t believe Charlie—no, Drew—did this to me. That he’s not even Charlie. That he’s…my brother.
“What the hell happened?” she asks again.
I don’t even know where to start, so I start at the very beginning. “My real name is Penny.”
When I finish, her expression is filled with a mix of disbelief and empathy.
“For twenty-five years, I thought I knew exactly who I was,” I tell her.
“And it turns out the whole thing was built on top of a lie. I don’t know how the hell I’m supposed to feel.
I still love my family, but they stole my whole identity.
How do I move on? How do I grieve the person I was?
” A tear slips sideways into my hair. “Is that insane? Grieving a stranger who happens to be me?”
“Absolutely not. This is some Lifetime movie shit, okay?” She presses two fingers into her temple.
“You can feel however you want to feel. Want to break something? Go ax throwing with your parents’ faces on the other end?
I’ll join, because I’m pissed for you.” She lowers on the bed beside me, both of us staring at the ceiling.
“But I know they love you. However they got you, they love you. Not that I’m excusing them in any way, shape, or form, but life… it’s complicated.”
“I know.” Exhaustion fills me. “And Drew? How am I supposed to feel about him?”
I skip the part where Anton plans to kill him. And if he doesn’t kill him, my family will. He is beyond saving, and there’s nothing I can do about it.
“Don’t decide anything today.” She squeezes my fingers. “There’s no handbook for this.”
I nod, inhaling a shallow breath. “My heart hurts for him, and if what he said about my bio parents was true, then they were monsters.”
“Shit, if they did keep him locked in a basement, I can imagine the lasting trauma, especially after he watched them die too. That kid never stood a chance.”
“Exactly. I don’t know if I can forgive him. Not yet. Maybe not ever. But I understand him, and a part of me still aches for the kid he used to be.”
“You and your wounded animals.” She laughs.
“What can I say? I’m a sucker.”
“Nah, you just have the biggest heart of them all.”