Eros Rising (Olympus Ascending #1)

1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

Alex

Alex had experienced panic attacks before, but this wasn’t normal. This shook him to his core, like a harbinger of disaster.As he lay naked in bed next to his boyfriend, Danyal, he struggled to control his breathing. He’d never experienced such security and warmth as when he was in the arms of the man he loved. So why did he feel more scared and alone at this moment than ever?

It wasn’t on his agenda to have a near-death experience crossing the street on the way to work. The adage about your life flashing before your eyes wasn't true. Alex recalled blinding lights followed by darkness. The deafening sound as his flesh and bones crashed against metal. The weightless feeling of his body being thrown fifteen feet off the ice-covered ground. The soul-piercing cold on his skin as he landed face down in the fresh snow. The detail that Alex vividly remembered was the look on the face of the driver milliseconds before the collision. It wasn’t surprise or panic, but a sinister smile. Just thinking about the look gave Alex chills. He swore that the driver had corrected course to ensure the violent collision.

Debris from the older model deep blue F-150 pickup truck covered the intersection as the driver had wrapped the vehicle around a telephone pole and fled on foot. The EMTs had no clue how Alex had survived unscathed, with only his bruised pride and soiled clothing. Alex could hear their muffled voices. He should be severely injured or dead, they said. How did he survive? Luck or fate?

Maybe it was just the adrenaline coursing through his veins, but he had never felt physically better in his life except for this damned anxiety. Alex focused on his senses to ground himself as he tried to chase it away. He could feel the scratchy flannel sheets on his skin. Alex placed his head on Danyal’s soft, bare and draped his arm across his muscular torso. The intoxicating scent of his boyfriend's cologne tickled his nose. Danyal’s heartbeat was a mesmerizing lullaby soothing Alex’s spirit. He wondered how he deserved a boyfriend like Danyal. He was intelligent, funny, thoughtful, and had a body that would inspire Michelangelo to sculpt a new masterpiece. Everything in his life should feel perfect, but it didn’t.

Despite his best efforts, distraction was no match for his worries tonight. Why was Alex’s anxiety still growing? It had to be more than adrenaline or a stress reaction from the accident. Was anticipation of meeting Ditta for dinner on his birthday feeding his sense of dread? It was their tradition, but he’d never brought a man to meet her before. How would she respond? Would she like Danyal? Was his decision going to ruin the moment? With each racing thought, Alex spiraled further down the rabbit hole. Fuck it; he couldn’t take the chance. There’s no way this dinner can happen. He had to stop it at all costs.

“OK, sleepyhead, you better not drift off. We’ve dinner plans at 8:30 p.m., which gives you about ninety mins to get ready,” said Danyal as he passed his fingers through Alex’s coiffed hair.

Alex didn’t reply and held Danyal’s naked body tighter.

“Can we stay in bed forever?” Since the snow was so awful tonight, ordering takeout and staying in bed would help quell his anxiety. Alex hoped Danyal would take the hint and nip the evening in the bud.

“No,” said Danyal, “You’ve been nagging me for weeks to go and meet Ditta on your birthday. You've been raving about your birthday chocolates since we met.”

Alex’s frustration continued to grow. “Let’s wrestle for it. I’m a decorated champion, so you’ll lose.”

“That was years ago, mister,” said Danyal mockingly. “You’ve gotten old and soft.”

“If I win, we skip dinner and stay in tonight,” said Alex.

“You’ve signed your death warrant,” said Danyal as he tried to make a stern face.

Alex quickly rolled from the side where he was embracing Danyal to be on top, holding Danyal’s arms over his head and pinning him to the bed. The match had already finished, and Alex was ready to claim canceling dinner as his prize.

“What’ll it be tonight, Chinese takeout or Mexican?” said Alex.

Danyal took his right hand and grasped Alex from the back of his neck, pulling him forward for a passionate kiss. Alex never wanted this kiss to be over. Danyal paused and looked into Alex’s eyes.

“We’ll never leave this room if you’re going to lie on top of me naked,” said Danyal.

Alex chuckled inside that diabolical scheme had been revealed. Operation Cancel Dinner was a success!

Danyal abruptly shifted his body weight, gently throwing Alex to his side before rolling to the side of the bed to stand up.

“We’re not staying in tonight; I’ll shower first if you don’t want to join me,” said Danyal as he walked naked across the room to the bathroom.

“I’ll be there in a second; I’m appreciating the view.” Think, Alex. Time to find a plan “B.” Alex carefully watched Danyal, trying to preserve every detail as he crossed the bedroom to the bathroom door. How could he get out of this dinner? He could admit to the accident, but that would surely start an argument with Danyal for not telling him sooner, and he would drag him kicking and screaming to the hospital. There was too much risk in that strategy. Alex needed something more subtle to sidetrack their dinner plans. Once Danyal had turned on the shower, Alex walked to the dresser, where he picked up Danyal’s phone and placed it in the inside pocket of the sports coat he intended to wear. Alex grinned with satisfaction. If Danyal can’t find his phone, we’ll be late and have to cancel—a quick and easy distraction with a low risk of discovery.

“Hurry up, Alex, we’ll be late for your dinner. Are you going to join me?”

Alex responded by pulling back the curtain and stepping into the warm shower.

Dressing slowly, the dread in Alex’s chest continued to grow.

“Dr. Lieth, you have your infamous million-mile stare on your face. Be careful. It’ll give you frown lines.”

Alex smiled at Danyal. He’d been thinking about his relationship with Ditta and how amazed he was she was still in his life. As far back as he could remember, he’d spent his birthdays with her, ever since the death of his parents in a small plane crash when he was eight. He was unendingly grateful for her and her generosity. More importantly, she wholeheartedly supported him at age sixteen when he came out as gay. Until he met Danyal, Ditta had always been the rock that anchored him. Alex especially fondly remembered his birthdays because she pampered him with his favorite artisan Italian dark chocolates. It was their tradition, and in spite of his nerves, he was excited about the chocolates and telling her about the wonderful man in his life.

“Are you anxious about meeting Ditta?” said Alex.

“A little; meeting your surrogate family is a huge step. Not every day you meet a Fortune 500 businesswoman who can make grown men cry with only her stare.”

“She’s not that bad,” said Alex. “She’s just shrewd, is all. I guess I get my tenacity from her. She does have a soft side the world doesn’t get to see. It’s what I love about her the most.”

Danyal smiled. “Since I’m an orphan and my adopted family disowned me for being gay, there’s little chance of you meeting them. But right now, I’m more anxious about finding my phone than our dinner plans. Have you seen it?”

Alex shook his head no. Liar.

“Fuck,” Danyal said as he ran his fingers through his hair and let out a guttural growl. “That phone cost me a month's salary! We’re not leaving until I find it. It’s a small apartment; help me look.”

Alex internally breathed a sigh of relief as he rummaged through the blankets on the bed. He knelt and looked under the bed, saying, “It’s not here. Did you bring it home from work?”

“I think I did.”

“I’ll text Ditta. We can cancel, and head back to the café to find your phone.”

“No, you’ve been anxiously anticipating this dinner. You go ahead, and I’ll go to the café on my way to the tavern.”

“I’m not going without you, Danyal; I’ll cancel,” said Alex, quickly pulling his phone from his pants pocket to seize the moment.

“Give me your phone, Alex. I’ll call my number. I leave the phone on vibrate when I’m at work, so we might hear it.”

“Let’s head to the café; before they close,” said Alex, as his heart jumped into his throat. Shit! Did he put the phone on silent?

“No, it might be a wasted trip. Give me your phone.”

Alex reluctantly handed it over. He held his breath as Danyal dialed the number and recoiled at the vibration in his breast pocket, which could be heard anywhere in the tiny studio apartment.

“Alex, come here.”might

“Why?”

Danyal hung up the call and stepped closer to Alex. He pulled Alex closer by the lapel of his sports coat. Danyal methodically patted Alex’s pants pockets as he searched for his prize. He stopped searching after putting his hand on Alex’s chest.

“What's this, Alex?”

“That’s my right pec. You’ve touched it before.”

Danyal opened Alex’s sports coat and removed his phone from the inside pocket. “Why did you pull this stunt, Alex?”

Alex looked down at Danyal’s chest, avoiding eye contact, feeling his shame rise to the surface.

“My eyes are up here, Alex,” said Danyal as he used his left hand to gently move Alex’s chin up to meet his gaze. “You know I love you, but sometimes I feel like I live with a twelve-year-old kid. Why would you hide my phone and then pretend to help me look for it? If you don’t answer me, I'll get the answer the old-fashioned way by tickling it out of you.” Danyal playfully pushed Alex back onto the bed and ticked Alex’s stomach and chest. He stopped after feeling Alex’s heart racing in his chest and recognizing the tears in Alex’s eyes.

“Hey, what’s wrong? Tickling has never made you cry before.”

Alex looked away from Danyal’s gaze, tears rolling down his face.

“Alex, you’re scaring me. Your heart is beating faster than a race car engine,” Danyal said as he kept his hand gently placed on Alex’s chest. “Did you take your anxiety medication?”

Alex turned to his side, facing away from Danyal, and didn’t respond. How could he explain his fear when he struggled to put his finger on it?

“Something is bothering you, Alex. Please, answer my question,” Danyal said as he gently stroked Alex’s face, wiping away his tears.

Should Alex tell Danyal about the accident? No, it would open Pandora’s box. He needed a more straightforward answer and decided to go with the truth.

“I’m…I’m afraid,” Alex said in a shaky voice, looking Danyal in the eyes. “I can’t shake the feeling something bad is going to happen. I’m also afraid when we start bringing other people into our perfect world, it will somehow change what we have. I don’t think I could bear it if that happened,” Alex said, burying his face in Danyal’s chest.

Danyal took his hands and tenderly pulled up Alex’s face. “I’m not worried about other people causing problems in our relationship; that can only happen if we let them. I'm worried your first reaction was to hide my phone rather than talk to me,” said Danyal softly.

“I tried,” said Alex. “I told you I didn’t want to go to dinner.”

“Try harder, Alex. I love you, but I never know what to expect when I return home each day. Will I get to spend the evening with the sexy college professor, or will you drive me mad watching videos on TikTok?”

Danyal silently stood up and pulled Alex to his feet, before kissing him softly on his forehead.

“Lucky for you, I’m in a forgiving mood since it’s your birthday. Just don’t pull that stunt again; be honest and talk to me when you're struggling. Now, you’re going to wipe away your tears and get yourself ready so we can face your fears together. I’m ordering an Uber.”

Alex nodded.

Danyal returned, standing at the bathroom door as Alex splashed water on his face. “The Uber is almost here. You never answered my question.”

“Which question?”

“Did you take your anxiety medication?”

“No,” said Alex, shaking his head. He had planned to have a beer with dinner and was concerned about mixing Klonopin with alcohol. Dr. Sonja was always warning him about the risks of mixing two sedatives.

“OK, but it makes your anxiety worse. You should take a pill in case you skip the beer.”

Alex nodded in agreement.

Danyal paused briefly before proceeding, “How will we handle introductions? Will we start at the table together or make the introduction after you’ve had time to prepare her?”

“I’m leaning towards having you sit at the bar while I prepare her to meet you. I’ll wave you over when the time is right.”

“Sounds like a plan, but I do have another question. If Ditta is as refined as you describe her, why did you pick Dante’s Inferno Tavern for your birthday dinner? I love it there, but it’s not exactly a Bostonian fine dining establishment.”

“I guess I wanted you guys to meet on my turf.”

“Good enough for me. You’ve done as much as possible with those puffy eyes; your handsome face looks fine.”

“Danyal…”

“What, Alex?” said Danyal as he turned to look at Alex’s reflection in the bathroom mirror.

“I’m sorry.”

“Alex, I love you, but when you play games, it puts me in the position of being a parental figure. I’m your boyfriend, not your father. We can face any problem together, capiche?” said Danyal as he blew Alex a kiss and winked.

“Understood,” said Alex. He could never resist Danyal when he turned on his charm.

“One last thing,” said Danyal as he pulled a small velvet jewelry box from his coat pocket. “It’s not a birthday without a present.”

Alex smiled and walked over to Danyal, standing next to the bed where he placed the box in Alex’s hands. He opened the box and lifted out a necklace with a crescent moon and star encased within an enormous golden heart. “It’s beautiful, Danyal.”

“I’m glad you like it. It’s Turkey's flag, a symbol of love in my culture. It matches the necklace I wear. Now you can say you always have my heart with you, and I’ll have your heart with me.”

Alex leaned forward and gently kissed Danyal. “I’ll treasure it and always keep it close to my heart,” he said as he put the necklace around his neck, where it rested on his sweater. Danyal was a romantic, and Alex sometimes wasn't sure what he’d done to deserve him. It was Danyal’s Turkish charm that he loved the most.

“Thank you for the gift,” said Alex as he hugged Danyal, hesitating to release his embrace.

“There’ll be more time for hugging later,” said Danyal. “Get your coat, Dr. Lieth. The Uber is here, and we’ll face this storm and any obstacles that get in our way together. We can still arrive on time; it’d be rude to be late for your birthday dinner.”

Alex held Danyal’s hand as they left the apartment. Little did Alex know that his anxious feelings were warranted, and that his perfect world was about to implode.