52. Chapter 52
Chapter fifty-two
Galen
Galen sat in the back row of the small chapel at Zoe’s funeral, as the smoke from the candles and incense burned his eyes. Tears rolled down his cheeks and stained the hymnal in his hands. His accidental desecration of the Old Rugged Cross on page 150 was another sin the Almighty would surely punish him for. Intense guilt in his heart ached for the many things he could never apologize to Zoe for. She would not know how sorry he was for leading her on in their brief relationship. She had supported him in his time of need, but he knew they only used each other for physical comfort. They would never have worked as a couple, because he knew he was damaged goods who would only bring pain and sorrow to those unfortunate enough to care about him.
Zoe never said it to him, but Galen knew from her intense interaction with Alex during their investigation that Zoe was aware of Galen’s growing attraction to Alex. Life would have been easier if he could have loved Zoe, but she deserved so much better than being a consolation prize. Galen knew she was a highly trained operative, but he blamed himself for being unable to save her. The best he could do to honor her memory was to say goodbye and ensure she was remembered.
Galen hugged his friends silently as he stayed in the church, as the mourners passed by, and the service ended. He looked intently at his phone for any messages from Alex. Galen could not help but smile through his tears, reading a text from Veronica that said Danyal had awakened from his coma. He was glad Alex would get his happy ending.
Deep in his heart, after reading Veronica’s texts about Danyal’s memory loss, Galen wanted to return to the hospital to be by Alex’s side. Alex needed him to be his friend and protector, but he knew all he could bring Alex was conflict and pain. He could no longer hide the fact he wanted to be the one living in Alex’s heart. Galen couldn’t bear being close to Alex daily, and not being free to act on his desires. They had connected mentally and spiritually, so he had no hopes of hiding his feelings. Alex had made him feel alive for the first time since before his military service. He now knew he wanted to live and needed to live for himself.
Although Alex had ignited the fire in his heart, Galen was under no illusion that he could compete with Danyal for Alex’s affection. He knew Alex cared for him, but Alex was honorable and would do the right thing. It was the Unicorn’s nature. He loved Alex’s dedication. Maybe Ryo was right; he was nothing more than a distraction for Alex. Galen knew he was just the help who overstepped the mark and dared to think a god could love him.
It was a lose-lose situation. If he stayed, he would be tortured by his unrequited desires. If he left, he would walk away from the most profound feelings he had ever known.
On his phone, he hastily emailed his resignation to Ryo and booked a plane ticket to London, where he would seek shelter with Andrea. He slowly walked down the chapel steps with his duffel bag and hailed a cab to the airport.
Galen had finally found a reason to stop running, but it was best for everyone involved if he made a clean break and walked away.