Chapter 19
Tuesday, crack of dawn, Avocado Avenue
T he sun was cresting the horizon by the time the goons dropped Gabby back home on Avocado Avenue, just the faintest hint of pink brightening the horizon, the blossoms on her orange tree fragrant in the cool night air. It looked like the perfect neighborhood, the perfect life, a place where nothing could go wrong, not the kind of place where you get hauled away by Mafia guys in an unmarked van.
The driver hit the button to automatically open the side door, the same as she did for the kids. When he realized she was still zip-tied (he hadn’t followed instructions), he walked around, helped her out of the van, and cut the ties off her. “Good luck,” he said.
She tightened the belt on her “MOM” robe. “Thanks, you too.”
He gave her a fist bump, a strange gesture of truce after a truly weird night.
It was the first time she had really looked at him, partially because he wasn’t wearing a ski mask anymore. Why would he? They were both Mafia employees. With some remaining teenage acne and a patchy beard, he was probably in his early twenties, a kid basically. “Do you like your job?” she asked, standing in the driveway shooting the shit with a guy who had just kidnapped her.
“Does it matter?” he said with a shrug.
“I guess not,” she said with a matching shrug. Who knew the Mafia could inspire such ambivalence?
Normally, she’d advise a guy his age to follow his dreams, not get trapped in a situation he didn’t like. Not into kidnapping and murder? Do something else. But Smirnov would probably just off him. Better to keep her mouth shut.
They both stared out into nothingness for a long minute, the freedom of a sunrise and the false promise of a brand-new day. They were both in deep.
A moment later, he started the van and backed out, leaving her standing in the driveway like nothing had happened. Did he have to start work again, or was kidnapping the night shift? Suddenly, she didn’t feel as bad for him. That twenty-year-old kid was going back to an apartment to sleep it off. He’d probably wake up at two in the afternoon and order a pizza. Tomorrow night, he’d be tossing someone else in his van.
Gabby slipped on the blinged-out Croc that she had lost in the scuffle earlier, and shuffled back to the house. Her wine from last night was still on the counter, and the dishwasher was almost fully loaded and ready to be started.
Mr. Bubbles padded down the stairs. He wagged his little tail, and Gabby bent down and gave him a vigorous ear scratching. “Thanks for watching the kids, buddy.”
Upstairs, Kyle was sprawled out in a tangle of covers, the stuffies on her bed a reminder that fourteen wasn’t all grown up. She was still Gabby’s baby. As soon as Gabby had a free day, after she’d somehow wriggled out of her current predicament with the EOD and rival Russian mobsters, she’d schedule a hair day. Helping Kyle maintain bright purple hair was Gabby’s way of saying, “I got your back. Be whoever you want.” Maybe there was something deeper she should be doing, but it’s all she had.
Lucas’s face was softened by sleep. He might talk a big game, but he had three nightlights on, and his Nerf gun was at the foot of his bed so he could shoot bad guys. That was kind of concerning on a regular day, but now that there really were bad guys, it was even worse. Her heart squeezed, and she bit the inside of her cheek to stifle tears.
No sitting around and crying. She’d gotten them into this mess, and she needed to get them out of it.
The rumble of a big truck and the sound of a bin being dumped served as reminders that it was trash day. She hurried down the stairs, Bubbles at her heels. Nothing was taking a break for her schedule. Kyle had horseback riding again, and Lucas had rec league soccer. And somebody had a dentist appointment soon. Something had to give. It might be Lucas’s teeth.
Valentina’s statement that “kids don’t really work with this lifestyle” rang true. She wanted some help, but could she really bring anyone else into this mess? “ Go back to your microscope, Gerry. If I had a wife, I’d think kids were no big deal too ,” Valentina had said. The woman was right.
Because she didn’t have a wife, Gabby started the dishwasher and then wheeled the bins to the curb before the truck got to her house.
Shelly waved at her from across the street and called, “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?”
Gabby nodded. “It’s great.”
Gabby’s spirits sank as Shelly walked toward her. “You haven’t seen Tarragon, have you?”
Shelly’s fucking cat, the one that was in her closet. Was there no end to the madness? It’s not like she could tell her the truth—he was hit by a car and a vegan taxidermist stuffed him and sold him to Justin at the Pacific Palisades Farmers Market.
So many secrets.
At the crack of dawn without her makeup on, Shelly looked more human, more vulnerable.
“I’m so sorry, Shelly. I don’t know where Tarragon is, but I’ll keep an eye out for him.”
“I love my kids, you know, but Tarragon… he’s special. He doesn’t ask for anything besides food, and he always seems to know when I need him. He’s my little sweetheart.” Shelly teared up.
Gabby was about to see Tarragon in ten minutes. “Can I do anything?” slipped out of her mouth before she could stop herself.
“Actually, if you could put up some posters. I really don’t have time today. I’m getting my hair done, and I have the bake sale.”
Gabby meant “no way in hell” but it came out as “Um, sure.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Gabs.”
Shelly ran inside her front door and hurried back with a stack of posters. “If you could put these up closer to the school, that would be good.”
The poster featured a picture of the cat and read, “Our beloved Tarragon, twenty-five pounds, friendly, missing from Avocado Ave. Please call.” Below the phone number, the poster announced, “$1,000 reward.”
Fucking A.
Gabby hustled back to her house with the posters under her arm. Inside, she set them right next to the dead cat, which summarized how today was going.
She texted Justin a picture of the situation. Shelly roped me into putting up posters. Hand over face emoji. Hand over face emoji. Hand over face emoji.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING.
Maybe you can hang them up since you own Tarragon now.
I gave him to you.
OMG. Will you watch the kids while I take the dog for a walk?
Normally, she would leave them alone for fifteen minutes, but after last night, that seemed inadvisable.
Ten minutes later, Justin was making coffee in her kitchen and bossing her kids around. “Lucas, where is that shirt I bought you? I want to see you wearing it.” He shook his head in general disapproval of Gabby. “What is the matter with you? One day of work, and you look like you’ve been run over by a truck.”
“This office is just hell.”
Bubbles picked up his leash and dropped it at Gabby’s feet again, demanding his walk.
Justin took a deeper look at her. “Is this job really stressing you out that much?” He placed his hand on hers in concern. “Why?”
Maybe she could talk it out with Justin. “Well, the problem is that I sort of have two bosses, and… well, they don’t get along.” Understatement of the year. The EOD would love to arrest Smirnov, and probably her, if they found out what she was doing. “I basically feel like I have two jobs, and I just started yesterday.”
Justin waved it off. “That’s not your problem. You can’t be responsible for whether they get along or not.”
In theory that was true, but in practice… “I’m kind of in the middle. How can I satisfy both of them?”
“First off, work on setting your boundaries. Tell people no.”
When she laughed off his advice as preposterous, he said, “Just say the word, Gabs. It’s easy.” He directed her with a big flourish of hands like Mr. Barnes, her old choir director, and mouthed it with her. Together they said, “No.”
“Okay, good. Tell people no at least three times today. If you let them run over you on week one, it’s only going to get worse later.” He raised an eyebrow.
She nodded. Maybe she could stand up for herself more. This might be a good moment in time to work on that skill.
“Now, what do they want from you? Is it reasonable?”
“They’re very… gossipy. It almost feels covert.”
He laughed. “Oh god, I love a good office intrigue. Are they attractive?”
When she blushed, he put his hand over his heart. “Just let me know how you need me. If I can plan a celebrity wedding in under a month, I can help with this.”
He was probably right.
“Are the jobs your bosses want you to do mutually exclusive?”
“Um, actually no.” A lightbulb came on. Now that Justin brought it up, the EOD and Smirnov had completely separate tasks for her. In theory, all she had to do was 1) get evidence of money laundering for the EOD, hopefully at the party, and 2) find the codes for Smirnov. No one at the EOD had even mentioned “codes,” meaning they probably weren’t even aware. There was no reason she couldn’t do both. Neither one would be the wiser.
“You’re right, Justin. I can handle it.” So what if it was the mob and the EOD? She just had a to-do list with two things on it. End of story. She gave Justin a quick hug. “Thanks for talking it through with me.”
“Anytime, babe. Here to talk you off a cliff whenever.”
“Are you sure you don’t mind staying while I walk the dog? Last night turned out a little chaotic, and he missed his nightly.” She wasn’t going to let a mobster keep Mr. Bubbles from his morning constitutional. She needed to establish boundaries and live her life, and that started with walking the dog.
Justin picked up on her vibe and gave her a snap. “That’s right, girl. You walk that dog. Don’t let anyone stop you.”
She laughed at the situation. Justin had no clue, and he was still being supportive. Now that was a friend.
Bubbles started bouncing on his hind legs with excitement. With Gabby working all day, he needed a walk. “When I get back, I need to catch up on you. I’ve been all me, me, me the past few days. Do you have any shows soon?”
He shimmied a little. “Actually,” he said, “there is something big coming up.”
“Oooh!” She yelled, “Kids, listen to Justin. I’ll be right back!”
The kids didn’t look up. Justin waved her off.
She and Bubbles took a left onto Avocado Avenue and headed for the jogging path at the base of Avocado Mountain. It probably had a different name, but that’s what her family called it. The trail was a dirt path sandwiched between some green space on the mountain and their backyards. At this time in the morning, it was all people walking dogs before their nine-to-fives and triathletes, not Gabby’s usual people.
“Bubbles, do you have to pee on everything?” Phil had refused to neuter Bubbles when he was a puppy, and that had led to a few bad habits, including pissing on everything and leg humping. Pretty much like a tiny Phil in some primal way.
Gabby looked up to see a woman jogging toward them. It’s not like she wanted to be jealous. That was counterproductive to female empowerment, but no one should look that good at six thirty in the morning. It was a law—a law Gabby was following. So yeah, she was still shuffling around in Crocs and the robe she’d been kidnapped in. When was she going to do laundry with her schedule? Never.
As the walking ad for Lululemon got closer, Gabby gasped—Valentina. Talk about work following you home. One day in the office and she got kidnapped by the Mafia and accosted by Valentina, all before the next morning. How was a person supposed to eat breakfast and shower, not to mention sleep?
When she reached Gabby, Valentina dropped to her knees and made a show of tying her shoes.
She didn’t have any privacy anymore. This must be how Jennifer Aniston feels.
Mr. Bubbles, like most men, assumed it was all about him, and trotted over to Valentina with a “wassup, girl” attitude.
Valentina laughed. “Hey, little man.”
“Don’t call him little . He takes offense.” Gabby’s joke came off too biting.
Valentina inspected his tags and corrected herself. “Mr. Bubbles, that’s much more manly.” She scratched the miscreant’s ears.
“Didn’t expect to see you here this morning,” Gabby said.
“Best to be prepared for anything in this job.” Shoelaces tied, Valentina stood and checked her smartwatch. “I’ve got another two miles to get in before work,” she commented to herself.
Mr. Bubbles took Valentina’s exposed leg as an invitation and started vigorously humping.
With a swift yank on his leash, Gabby admonished, “Bubbles, stop that!” The dog panted like some sort of sexual pervert and ignored her. “I’m sorry. He should have been neutered a long time ago. I can’t even bring him to doggie daycare.” Not that she could even if he was neutered. If she couldn’t afford help for her actual kids, she certainly couldn’t pay for doggie daycare.
Valentina stared back, like she was just waiting for Gabby to shut up. “Just keep him off me. I have enough horny men in my life.” She pulled a slip of paper from the phone pocket in her leggings and handed it to Gabby. “Add them to the guest list. They’re EOD agents. We’ll get them into the party with aliases. If anything goes down, they’ll be there.”
That sounded simple enough. Kramer was pretty hands-off about party planning. She could probably invite half of Avocado Avenue and he wouldn’t notice. But then again, could she trust Valentina?
Valentina took her sunglasses off and wiped them down. A little more hesitant, like Kyle when she was angling for more screen time, Valentina asked, “So everything went okay yesterday? Nothing out of the ordinary?”
Was Valentina the mole? Gabby couldn’t possibly know. “Nothing happened at all. Just coffee making and a lot of congratulations on my nose job.”
“Poor Darcy.” More sadly, she said, “I liked her nose.”
Gabby smiled. “I wish I’d gotten to meet her.”
Valentina let out a short, cough-like laugh, almost as if she was choking on the absurdity of the idea. “That would have been… weird.”
“Why?”
“You two had nothing, I mean nothing, in common, except for your face.” Valentina sighed and said, “Shit, I miss that woman.”
Oh-kay.
Gabby held up the list. “You could have just sent this over text or email?”
Valentina gave her best annoyed, big-sister glare. “No records of anything. When you’re done, destroy the paper.”
Sarcastic, Gabby asked, “Should I eat it?”
“That’s a classic for a reason.” Not dignifying Gabby’s sarcasm any further, she tightened her ponytail, readying herself to make an escape. “Don’t do anything stupid today,” Valentina said, implying that Gabby had been pretty dumb yesterday. “Try to stay focused. Be more careful. For instance, I might stop walking the dog alone in the woods.”
Now she told her. Gabby tried not to let out a guttural yell of frustration. Through a bake sale smile, she said, “Thanks for the advice. Speaking of safety. I want a gun.” Last night, if she’d had a gun, she might have been able to keep those guys from taking her. Next time, they weren’t coming to pick her up for a chat. They were coming to kill, and not her. She could barely even let herself think the thought without losing her breath. He had threatened her babies.
“You don’t need a gun.”
“You just told me not to walk in the woods alone. I don’t feel safe.”
Gabby knew she’d made a solid point when Valentina blew out a breath and stared off into the middle distance. “A gun won’t help, if you don’t know how to use it.” Valentina looked hard at Gabby. “They’ll take it and use it on you. Just more weapons for the bad guy.” Valentina shook her head, clearly imagining the disaster at the shooting range.
“Teach me.”
“Why aren’t you asking Markus?”
“I don’t know. You’re here, and I was thinking about it.”
“Gabby, I have enough shit to do.”
Gabby put her foot down. This wasn’t just about her. It was about her kids. “You need me. Look at yesterday, I ended up alone all day. No backup. I need to be able to protect myself. Enough with the cutesy, drop-out-of-a-bear-hug maneuvers. I’m not going to become an MMA champ in the next week. I could however learn how to shoot.”
Valentina relented. “I’ll be in touch.”
“When?” Gabby asked.
“I don’t know. I’m meeting with Markus as soon as I finish this run. We’ll talk it over.”
Someone at the EOD was watching her. The two people with the most access were Valentina and, she hated to even think it, Markus. If Smirnov was trying to keep tabs on her, those were his two best bets. And really, why was Valentina up at the crack of dawn hand delivering a piece of paper she could have given her anytime in any number of ways?
Who knew if she was really meeting Markus at all? She was probably meeting Smirnov.
Gabby might just be making coffee and doing a few minor tasks, but those tasks meant millions of dollars to Smirnov and a big bust for the EOD.
“How do I get out of here?” Valentina asked. “The shortest way, please.”
Gabby smiled and said, “Take a left at the next fork. That’ll loop you back to the beginning of the trail, where I assume you started.” That was actually the long way. If Valentina took it, she was in for another five miles.
Gabby stumbled through a 5K for cancer six months ago. She finished after the organizers pulled up the cones. Phil had made a big deal of comparing her time to the winner, who apparently had run something like six-minute miles. If Valentina took at least thirty minutes, Gabby would have time to get the kids on the bus and follow Valentina and see who she was really meeting.
And to think she had never been good at story problems! Take that, Mr. Heard.
Gabby watched Valentina run away, her ponytail swinging like a hangman’s noose. God, she was getting dark. After she scooped up a bag of poo, she hustled back to the house, managing to hang a couple “Lost Cat” posters on the way.
She was in mortal danger but still helping Shelly look for a cat that Gabby knew was dead.