Chapter 28
Thursday morning, Greene household
T he next morning, on the day of Operation Secret Laptop, an inconvenient fact smacked into Gabby’s consciousness like a surprise asteroid headed for earth. She needed two flash drives.
She was a double agent, not a single agent. She needed one copy of the contents of the laptop for the good guys and another for the bad guys, using the term “good guys” pretty loosely. How had she not thought of this earlier? Sort of almost kissing her handler last night had made her forget everything, which is why you aren’t supposed to do things like that. If she weren’t running late, she could swing into OfficeMax, but when was she not running late? Never.
“Kyle, do you have a flash drive?” she yelled as she looked for her keys and shoved her feet in some shoes. Shame washed over her. The EOD and the Mafia had tapped her to do a mission, and here she was putting it together last minute using her fourteen-year-old daughter for tech support.
“Uh, I don’t know,” Kyle said, with her usual level of helpfulness. When her daughter looked up, she must have sensed Gabby’s panic. “I can look, though.”
Sure enough, there was a flash drive in the front pocket of Kyle’s backpack, jammed in there with a partially eaten Nutri-Grain bar. Kyle peeled the jammy sections off the drive and brushed the remaining crumbs on the floor. “I don’t think there’s anything on it but that report on Oobleck.”
Aah, the Oobleck report. Oobleck: the only substance, besides toothpaste and Silly Putty and, let’s be honest, K-Y, that defied the laws of physics. For every action, there should be an equal and opposite reaction, except for Oobleck and toothpaste. She glanced at Lucas’s hair, still jagged from where all the Oobleck Kyle had made for her report had gotten stuck.
Kyle grumbled. “I can’t believe I got a C on that report.”
Gabby couldn’t either. Between helping Kyle with essay writing and driving to the grocery store at 11:00 p.m. to get ingredients to make Oobleck for a demonstration, that report had been as much work as double agenting. At the science fair, it had been obvious that the other parents had done a much better job on their kids’ assignments than Gabby had, though.
Gabby looked at the flash drive, another item she didn’t use regularly. “You don’t happen to know how to transfer files from one USB to another, do you?”
Kyle shrugged. “Just put them in a laptop at the same time, open them up, and drag and drop.”
Gabby ran over the directions twice in her mind, threw a laptop into her purse, and hit the road. It was go time.
An hour later, she was at her desk waiting for Kramer to make his transfer. During her endless hours of carpet scrubbing, good for something at least, she’d overheard a client demand a wire transfer. Kramer had scheduled a call at ten, the transfer to take place during the call. As soon as she saw Kramer on the phone, she needed to set the plan into motion. Everything hinged on her. She needed to be alert and quick to react—basically the opposite of who she was.
Even with the whole world resting on her shoulders, she went all schoolgirl when Markus talked. Was it just her or when he said, “Hey,” was it a little softer and sweeter than yesterday? He couldn’t be the mole. The universe couldn’t be that cruel. She had a kiss to revisit.
“So this morning,” Markus said, “a few of the other agents are going to be looped in on our conversation. Valentina and Fredo. Let us know when you’re in position, guys.”
Valentina came on. “Locked, loaded, and waiting for your signal, Gabby.”
“Same here,” Fredo said. “The whole team is ready to go. Emergency services are on standby.”
Butterflies erupted in her stomach. An entire team of agents was waiting for her, waiting to execute her plan, a plan she thought of last night. What if she hadn’t anticipated something? This could go very wrong.
While inadvisably drowning the stomach butterflies in coffee, she stared intently into Kramer’s office. For his part, he was doing nothing, checking his email and scrolling through his phone like he didn’t have a care in the world. Meanwhile, a SWAT team dressed in black with helmets and goggles and body armor was waiting at her beck and call. At least that’s what she imagined.
Like he was just messing with her, Kramer spun in his office chair and drummed on his desk with his fingers like he was in a metal band. Of all the days for him to be loose and fun! He hit the intercom and said, “Run to the liquor store and get extra bottles of that Beluga Gold Line vodka. I want some in the freezer here. And plenty at the party. And you’re picking up caviar, right?”
“Of course, Mr. Kramer. I’ll get right on that,” she lied. Right now, she had bigger things to worry about than snacks for Orlov.
“Oh, and don’t forget those little crackers.”
She was a big-time secret agent, and it was still about food, the lady with the fanny pack filled with Band-Aids and Goldfish crackers.
“Boo!”
Gabby squealed and about jumped out of her chair.
Carmen started laughing. “A little edgy today, huh?”
Gabby giggled like it was a great joke, as if “boo” was ever a great joke. Carmen was right, though. She was jumpy in the way you get when you’re running on nothing but caffeine and adrenaline. Just a bundle of raw nerves in an office chair, liable to overreact to anything.
Fran clomped over in her orthopedic shoes next. Talk about a woman who could not sneak up on anyone. “Camille, can you help me in the file room?”
Gabby was about ready to explode. Managing her office job and a spy mission at the same time—this was next-level multitasking. Worse than Christmas, almost.
Markus piped up. “Get rid of her. Don’t worry about being polite this morning.”
Fran had the worst timing. “Um, can I do it in an hour? I’m really focused… on this… party planning. Kramer wants so many last-minute things.”
Fran gave her a funny look, probably because it was obvious that Gabby was doing absolutely nothing but sweating in her chair. That wasn’t a crime, though. Half the employees at eStocks were texting or scrolling the internet for someone to DM.
She glanced back at Kramer, who was still fucking with her. He drew back one of the balls in the Newton’s cradle in his office, six smooth heavy metal balls suspended on strings. The ball he had pulled back smacked the row of balls with a satisfying thwack.
Thwack. A ball hopped.
Thwack. Another balled hopped.
Thwack. And so on.
In her ear, Markus said, “Don’t worry. Valentina is one of the best in the business. I’m sure everything is fine on her end. All you have to do is sit tight and wait for the call.” He must have been able to feel her crawling out of her skin with anxiety.
She wasn’t worried about Valentina. Valentina was competent and probably hadn’t slept on a futon on the other side of a thin wall listening to bouts of chainsaw-like snoring. Burt needed a CPAP machine. She might not be a sleep doctor, but she knew sleep apnea when she heard it.
Her part of the plan was the simplest. All she had to do was stay on her toes and pay attention. Valentina had the arson to commit.
But if she screwed this up… Gabby’s breathing picked up, and she started to sweat. At the feel and smell of her own sweat, she sweated more. How was she going to protect her family? If this mission failed, she had to get them out of town. She could just imagine telling them all to hurry, Burt in his La-Z-Boy with Family Feud droning on endlessly, Kyle whining about her iPads and AirPods, Lucas hiding because he thought it was a game, and Granny wanting an explanation for the hasty departure. There was no choice but to leave Burt and tell everyone else they were going out for ice cream. She’d take them to In-N-Out and then keep driving.
Just then Kramer stood up and fogged the glass. It was happening.
“Gabby, just breathe. Focus on this and only this. Compartmentalize,” Markus said.
She visualized pulling a big Snapware out of the pantry and shoving all of her worries inside. Because it was a vision, she found the lid without searching and snapped the latches two at a time. Snap. Snap. Smile. She smoothed her hair and tightened her apron.
Fran yelled, “Gabby, it’s your lunch break.”
What the—?
“In a minute, Fran.”
“It’s just that the microwave is available right now. If you don’t get your lunch in now, you’ll miss your window.”
“Fran, not now.” The microwave availability window was not her major concern.
“But the microwave needs cleaning. This is last call!”
Gabby looked between Fran and her phone. She took off for the break room at a near sprint because Fran wouldn’t leave her alone if she didn’t put something in the microwave. In a big fucking hurry, she threw in a chunk of meat loaf she didn’t even want and punched some buttons. On the way back to her desk, she gave Fran a glare. “I’m a little busy. Just take it out if it beeps. Okay?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurry you.”
She flashed a tight smile. Just as she sat down, the phone rang, and Gabby’s nerves jangled louder than the ringtone. She took a deep breath and prepared herself for action.
Fran, who could just not mind her own fucking business, appeared out of nowhere. “Go get your lunch. I’ll answer the phone.”
What was Fran’s problem today?
“I got it.” She practically threw herself on top of the desk to block Fran. “eStocks Enterprises,” she said. “Good morn—”
“Camille!” Laura Kramer yelled her name into the phone.
“Mrs. Kramer?”
“It’s Laura Kramer. Is George there? It’s an emergency. Ohmygod. I don’t know what to do.” Laura Kramer was clearly distraught, her voice high and frantic. “There’s smoke coming from the garage, and ohmygod, I see flames. Flames!”
“Let me get him.” Gabby practically ran across the hall to Kramer’s office. She barged into the room without knocking. “Mr. Kramer,” she yelled.
“Camille! Knock, would you? I’m busy.”
“But—”
“Get out, Camille.”
“It’s your wife,” Gabby rebutted, shoving the phone into his hands.
He shook his head and glared at her until he heard his wife screaming. “A fire? Did you call nine-one-one? I’m not the fire department, Laura.”
Gabby’s heart went out to Laura.
Then his tone changed. “The garage!” He leaped to his feet. “Fuck. You can’t be serious. Don’t tell me… the cars?”
“Geez, this guy,” Markus muttered in her ear.
Gabby heard Laura scream.
“Not the Bentley!” He groaned like someone had physically hurt him.
Gabby laser-eyed him from across the room. He hadn’t even asked about Laura or the kids, just his stupid cars.
“The Lambo.” He cried out. “No. No. No!”
They were going up in flames one by one, just like Valentina had promised.
“Where the hell is the fire department? Where are my fucking taxes going anyway?” Kramer couldn’t sound more Republican if he tried.
The fire department was on standby. The EOD had no intention of harming Laura or the kids, just getting George Kramer to get out of his office.
He hung up the phone and reached to shove a few papers in his briefcase. “Cancel all of my meetings for the rest of the day,” he barked. “Call Ted and tell him the rates are too high. He needs to sit tight.” He glanced back at the computer. “And call Jeremy to verify that the wire went through on his end.” As he mentioned the wire transfer, he glanced back at the computer and the safe, its door swung wide open. “Fucking A.” He threw his briefcase down and started to head in that direction.
“Mr. Kramer, I’ve got it. You have to hurry.”
When he hesitated, she said, “Your cars. Maybe you can still save some.”
This was true. The sooner she copied his files, the sooner the fire department would get the go-ahead to put out the flames.
With a nod, he said, “Put that away. Lock up.”
As soon as Kramer ran, the fire alarm in the eStocks office also went off. What the hell?
Smoke was billowing from the break room, and the smell of burnt meat loaf filled the whole office. No one was paying attention to the alarm but rather running toward the burning leftovers.
Gabby slammed the door shut and pulled the flash drive from her pocket. She jammed it into the port on the side of Kramer’s secret laptop and started copying every file on the laptop.
Copy.
Copy.
Copy.
Copppppyyyyyyy…
Just like every spy movie, a little bar tracked what percentage of the material had downloaded. Halfway through, the fire alarm shut down. Three-quarters of the way through, she heard Fran yell, “Camille, how long did you put your lunch in for?”
Gabby had practically sweated through her shirt because of nerves. All she needed was one more minute, and she’d have everything she needed. The EOD. Smirnov. She could go back to her normal life and get out of this ridiculous job. Making lunches, picking up kids, tucking them in at night. She needed everyone to be safe. And she needed to put the laptop back in the safe.
It was almost done.
Just as the whole office started calming down and wandering back to their desks, the meat loaf debacle over, the download finished.
Gabby collected the flash drive, slid it back in her pocket, fat with secrets. More satisfied than that time when she had lost ten pounds and zipped up her skinny jeans, she slid the computer back in the safe, shut the door, and replaced the painting on the wall.
Markus said, “You did it, Gabs. I knew you could.”
“Gabby, where have you been?” Fran said, exasperated.
After she mumbled some sort of excuse, Fran said, “Well, you’re going to have to buy lunch today.”
Gabby nodded. “Oh-kay.”
“Oh, and have you started on goody bags for the party on Saturday?”
Gabby stared. Goody bags—was Fran being serious? “I’ve got it covered. I think I’ll step out and grab some lunch.”
She slung her purse over her shoulder and strode out of the office like an eighties action hero, the whole place up in smoke behind her, or at least her meat loaf. A smile spread across her face as she stepped out onto the street.
She had done it. Almost.
“Markus,” she lied, “my nerves really upset my stomach. I’m going to run back inside and use the bathroom. I’ll be back in a minute.”
She didn’t need a bathroom. What she needed was time alone to copy the files for Smirnov.
He laughed. “Click me back in as soon as you’re done. I don’t like the idea of losing contact when you’re holding codes that are worth millions of dollars to the Mafia and Kramer.”
“Markus, just let me go to the bathroom.”
She took out the earpiece and the brooch with the camera. After a quick air-kiss to Markus, she turned off the camera and ran.