55. Lazarus
Lazarus
Some noise, somewhere outside my brain, forces me to open my eyes. I don’t recognize the room around me at first. It takes a long minute for me to come back to this place and everything that has happened in it.
But I feel well. Nothing hurts anymore. The shadows slowly seep from my body and split into two before making a beeline toward the bathroom. I raise my hand to find it casts a shadow on the bed, back to just mine.
Curiously, I pick at the bandage adhered to my chest, and when I pull it away, the sutures go with it. In their healing, the shadows pushed them from my skin.
There isn’t even a scar. The only way I know it happened is that there is a difference in the length of chest hair where it’s still growing back.
Testing my luck, I work to move to the side of the bed closest to the bathroom.
I don’t feel any of the aches or pain I would expect after the hell we’ve gone through. And perhaps the best part is feeling Honey, Zephyr, and Phoenix in my mind, this easy knowledge that they are well and safe.
I find the scrub pants that I wore after surgery and pull them on before walking to the bathroom.
Leaning against the doorframe, I watch them as they remove their own dressings and put on new clothes that they acquired from somewhere.
They haven’t noticed I’m here, and I enjoy being on the outside looking in. I admire them as a pack, my pack.
A soft knock comes to the main door in the nest room, and I pull myself away to answer it.
I open it only a little ways at first, blocking the door with my foot to see who it is.
Xavier and Fox stand with plastic totes, the ones Honey’s blankets were in, as well as paper shopping bags.
“I got notified your omega’s temperature continues to rise. So, I made the executive decision to fetch her nesting supplies,” Xavier says, setting his totes down.
Fox does the same before backing up a step.
“Thank you.” I realize I’m growling but can’t make myself stop, yet I remain as polite as possible. “And the rest?”
“Phones, clothes, and things my mother thinks every omega in estrus should have.” Xavier shrugs and shakes his head as if what I’m hearing is obvious.
Opening the door wider, I pull one stack of tubs in before the other.
The doctors of the family walk away quickly, not sparing a backward glance.
I close the door and turn to find the three of them. They’re all wearing matching nexus-issued clothing, but the way Honey is nestled between Phoenix and Zephyr gives me pause. It’s nearly picture perfect. The three of them. They’re all mine.
“Oh, look, Xavier somehow knew we needed the supplies.” Phoenix gestures to the tubs.
“Mmm.” I agree and start looking through the bags.
I set aside the ones with our cuts, jeans, and T-shirts. The ones that look like things for us to go home in rather than to wear while we’re here.
A tap comes onto my shoulder, Zephyr standing next to me. “Go get cleaned up. We’ve got this.”
I want to be the caretaker and to make sure they have what they need.
It wouldn’t be a bother to help unload tubs, nor check on things to eat, perhaps .
. . I draw a deep breath, and now that he’s said something, I realize how much I smell like antiseptic, blood, and body odor in a not pleasant way.
Stepping aside from the delivery, I head to the bathroom.
Much to my surprise, Honey follows me in. “Can you believe this is a bathroom that people have? Zephyr was telling me about his parents’ bathrooms. It makes the ones at the community seem like shoeboxes.”
“Yes, money does buy plenty of things. It is something we’ll have to discuss now that we’re a formal pack.” I turn away from Honey with a sense of modesty for her.
But the image of her lying over my leg, drinking down my cum, has me working to push aside my, what would have been, sensitivities.
She waits, leaning against the bathroom countertop, while I shower.
And when I’m out, she hands me a warm towel from what almost looks like an oven inside the cupboard.
Her eyes are fixed on me, and in the bond, I get the sense of being studied for soundness, that I’m healthy and well.
I let her look and come to her own conclusion.
When I am mostly done in the drying-off process, it feels like something heavy sits between us.
I look over to Honey while wringing moisture from my hair. “Is everything okay?”
“I’m worried about you.” She’s practically bashful, hands hidden behind her back.
“I healed well.” I point to the nonexistent mark on my chest, giving her a small, reassuring smile.
Honey shakes her head. “Not that. Maybe I should say, I’m worried about us.”
“Us?” My heart threatens to stop.
“You claimed me to save me, but does that really mean you want a pack?” Honey sways a little back and forth.
“I didn’t think I did.” I watch her uncertainty, portrayed in her shuffled movements.
I can greatly empathize with that feeling.
“But the twins are right. I’ve had one this whole time.
I just had to open my eyes to the possibility and really see it.
” I put the towel down and, with both hands stretched forward, reach for her.
She steps into my grasp, and I hug her against my chest. Pride fills the bond with happy emotions. I stroke her hair, feeling the warmth of our connection. The strength of the four of us together. It humbles me with how large, how insurmountable, love can be.
I kiss the top of her head. “We needed you to see the potential of what we are.”
Honey squeezes around my waist, and I can’t help but notice how well she fits in my arms. Nor can I be oblivious to the fact that her skin is fiery hot. I cup the back of her head with my hand, holding her tight to me while I press soft kisses into her hair.
“The twins love me, and I love them too,” Honey murmurs, her grip tightening even more around me, much like my shadow might around her.
“Then that makes three of us.” I add myself to those numbers. “Because I most certainly love you.”
“That’s good to know, because I love you.” Honey slowly lets me go. When she tilts her head up toward me, she’s beaming.
Those honey-gold eyes are bright and alert, locked on me, and I wonder what she sees that she loves so much. But there is such adoration there that I can only feel blessed to be the recipient of it.
In an emotional sort of pain, I let her go and braid my hair away from my face before pulling on the sweatpants that Honey laid out for me while I showered.
They’re a little too short, but I assume they won’t be staying on long anyway.
When I exit the bathroom, Honey is standing at the foot of the bed. Her arms are wrapped around her as she studies the bed. But unlike the other times she’s wrapped her arms around herself, I don’t think this is out of fear.
“What — Ah.” I turn to find that the twins have dug into Honey’s nesting supplies and tried to build a suitable blanket nest.
“What is that?” she asks, looking between the three of us.
“It’s a nest.” Phoenix gestures to it. “Obviously.”
“What is a nest?” Honey asks.
“It’s for your comfort; you’ll want to have all the soft things and our smells around you.” Zephyr falters in his explanation and looks to me.
With a shrug, I remind them, “Honey has only had one heat where she’s been tended to. It was short, setting on very fast, and over quickly. It is likely that she’s never had the desires or been able to act on them.”
“Well, it’s very sweet. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s kind and considerate.” Honey tugs at her collar, then pulls her hair up off the back of her neck for a second before letting it fall around her shoulders once more.
I cross the room and run my fingers through her hair, dividing it into three pieces. She stands still, patiently waiting for me to braid her hair. And then, when done, I coil the long ends up into a bun at the back of her head. I pull my hair tie from my own hair to secure hers.
“Let’s watch movies while we wait for the next party to start.” Phoenix pulls a remote off the bedside table, and I glance around the room but don’t see a television, just the mirror where the nurses allegedly watch.
With the press of a button, a recess in the ceiling opens, and a screen comes into view.
“Whoa.” Honey’s eyes go wide, and she contorts her body to get a glimpse at the screen. “It says our names on it.”
“Yeah, Xavier is a little extra.” Zephyr curls up alongside one of the rows of blankets and pillows, draping a blanket over his lap. “Come cuddle.”
Honey crawls over the blanket fort they’ve made and gets comfortable on her back, looking up at the ceiling.
Phoenix climbs in beside her, but before he gets comfortable, he stops and gives me a look. “Are you coming?”
It’s odd to have an invitation and not even second-guess it. I walk around the bed and climb in next to Phoenix. He takes my arm and drapes it over him, and I feel like I’m exactly where I belong.