57. Lazarus
Lazarus
I’ve been awake for a little while. The clock on the bedside table tells me it’s noon. Which is an hour that I’m normally awake. It explains why I feel like I could get up and do some work. But there is nothing to do.
No, it’s not that there is nothing to do. It’s that none of it matters more than what is happening here in this bed.
I have a pack, a family, and I feel them etched in my bones. This is how it’s supposed to be. This is how it is always meant to be.
Pushing up to my elbows, I look over the small mound of blankets, part of Honey’s most recently rumpled nest, and see that she and Phoenix are curled up tightly together.
Their fingers are interlaced, locking them together, but Zephyr is left clinging to her waist. He shifts once, and then again, the discomfort in how he’s contorted evident in the way he keeps adjusting his back.
He’d be more comfortable up over here. He’d be more comfortable next to me.
It feels so outlandish to say. Which is an even more absurd thing to say.
We’re a pack. We’ve made the choice to be together.
I’ve already explored a relationship, sex, with Phoenix.
The idea of cuddling with Zephyr shouldn’t seem so elusive.
Before I can lose my nerve, I push up and roll over the blankets and rest my hand on his upper arm. I stroke along the muscles there, and he stirs. Looking over his shoulder at me, Zephyr blinks a little bit.
“There is more room up here.” I encourage him to move while keeping my voice low and pulling my hand away slowly.
Zephyr stretches out, his movements awkward and deliberate to avoid waking Honey and Phoenix. His shadow moves to tuck blankets into the place he vacated as he rolls and pulls himself up the bed to be by me.
“I know I’m not Honey or Phoenix, but we can lie together if you’d like.” I lie down on my back again and look up at the massive television where it’s mounted above us.
“You’re sure?” Zephyr whispers, but his body and shadow are already on the move closer to me. He adjusts blankets, lifting them up and sliding underneath them.
“I’m certain,” I answer, but I don’t know how to help him get comfortable. He’s smaller than me but not quite Honey’s size.
If he notices how awkward I feel about him coming to lie next to me, to his credit, Zephyr doesn’t push the issue anymore. He lies on his side, his legs pressing against mine, his chest against my arm, and then he rests his forearm across my chest.
It feels nice to be held like this. I raise my hand, not nestled between our bodies, and place it over his, keeping it there on my chest.
Zephyr’s breathing is steady next to me. I try to focus on each breath he takes, matching my own with it, in hopes it’ll drag me back to sleep. But it doesn’t. I just lie awake, agonizing whether I’m doing something incorrectly.
“Is this okay?” Zephyr’s murmur is so soft I almost miss it.
“Yes, of course,” I answer softly.
Despite my reassurance, Zephyr shuffles, and he presses a kiss against my cheek.
I turn to face him, and he places one against my lips.
“Need you,” he murmurs against my mouth. Then I feel his cock twitch against my leg.
My body goes hot all over. Heat pulls at my loins, and my own cock stirs. Everything I’ve wanted is at my fingertips, but I’m apprehensive.
“Rut is bad. I need you. Please.” He kisses me again, this time parting my lips with his tongue.
He’s not alone in experiencing the pull of rut, but I know, from the ache in my soul, that this isn’t just sexual desire. I want to be close to him, and to Phoenix, in the most intimate of unions. What we began, I want to complete.
Zephyr pushes up and changes how he’s lying. He puts himself more on top of me and slides his hand down my chest, across the muscles of my stomach.
But he hesitates slightly at the stretchy waistband of my pants.
“Alpha, please,” he whimpers.
It’s almost a needy omega whine, and my hips shift. “You can touch.”
Zephyr lets out a breath as if I’ve granted him oxygen, and he slides his fingers under the band of my pants, straight for my cock.
When his fingers wrap around my girth, my eyes fall closed. He strokes me slowly but is hindered by the clothing between us.
“Let me go,” I grit out.
Zephyr pulls his hand away quickly like my words wounded him. I don’t give him long to dwell on it. I raise my hips, push my pants down, and then kick them off.
I give in to my lust, my desire to be with him. Turning to him, I grab his waistband and pull down his pants. He helps, kicking them off. Then I fist his cock.
He gasps as it twitches in my grip. He’s stiff, rigid, the same as I am. I work his shaft like I would work my own. Precum beads at his head.
“No. I want you.” Zephyr argues, but his body shudders as I run my thumb over the head of his cock, wiping that bead of precum along his shaft.
“How do you want me?”
The idea is there in my mind. I want to have him writhing before I push his legs up and fuck him. I want to watch him cum all over his own chest as I unload into him.
I don’t know where these ideas surface from, but it’s what my mind draws up. It’s what I crave.
“Fuck me, Alpha, please.” He begs, and I don’t wait for more.
Pushing up off the bed, I use my shadow to drag him back to where I had been lying. It helps move one of his legs past me so that I’m kneeling between them.
“Hang on,” Zephyr pants. His eyes are locked on me, his chest heaving with excited breaths.
My cock throbs as I watch him. His lean muscles stretch and flex as he shifts and opens the nightstand. There are various items in the drawer, but he finds what he wants and hands it to me.
It’s labeled lubricant, and I smile. “Well, since we don’t have any omega slick, I suppose this is necessary.”
We both look to where Honey and Phoenix are still wrapped up together. They’re fast asleep. Not that I mind. This experience with Zephyr is more than enough.
He writhes, his legs squeezing against mine, and my attention is drawn back to him.
My shadow stops his squirming. It wraps around his legs in thick coils, pushing them up toward his chest.
His ass is exposed to me, and I flip the cap on the bottle and pour a generous amount over his hole before adding a trail of it up my cock. I close the bottle and toss it aside. Fisting myself, I coat my length with the lubricant. Then I rub my cock against Zephyr’s ass.
He gasps, struggling against my shadow’s hold on him. He whines, that needy sound I love so much. “Please, Alpha.”
It spurs me on past the hesitation, and I press the head of my cock into him. He’s tight, not uncomfortably so, but the resistance is clear.
“Relax.” I purr softly for him, uncertain if that will have the intended effect. But dark thoughts cross my mind as I remember the sex toys in his drawers when putting away his laundry. “I know you can take it.”
I wrap my fingers around his cock and stroke him. I back off his ass for a second before pushing back in. Mimicking the movement with my hand, I purr a little louder.
Zephyr relaxes slowly, his body letting me in.
He’s tight, like being inside Honey’s center. Except it’s a new kind of pressure. It feels so good. The tension, the push and pull between us as I work in deeper.
“Fuck,” Zephyr gasps as I push in another inch. “You’re bigger than I thought.”
“You can take it. You’re doing well.” I don’t want to push him too far. But I don’t want to stop. I don’t want to break away from this moment and the intensity between us.
I back out a little before thrusting forward. Zephyr moans, and it rattles my body.
“That’s it. You feel so good.” I shudder through those words.
I’m already on the edge of my own climax. But I hold off, resting inside him while I stroke his cock. The precum beads much quicker, and my hand is a sticky yet slick mess as I run it in spirals along his length.
“I knew you’d be so good at this.” Zephyr is smiling. His eyes are closed, his back arching off the bed. “Please, Alpha, fuck me. I need to come.”
“Tell me if it’s too much,” I command almost too loudly.
I look to my side, but Honey and Phoenix are exactly where we left them.
Zephyr nods. He doesn’t answer me aloud, and I take his physical agreement as enough.
I rock my hips into him, thrusting again and again. The tension around my cock grows. Zephyr bucks against my shadow, but I hold him still. I can’t stop.
He fists the sheets on either side of him. Rocking his head back and forth, he murmurs again and again, “So close.”
I’m right at the precipice of my own release. I push into him, using the barking command as softly as I can. “Come with me.”
And we do.
I bury myself in him, feeling my release pulsing through my body into his. My balls ache with the intensity. All the while, his cock twitches in my hand, thick ropes of cum covering his chest and stomach.
Mouth open, his scream is a silent one. His orgasm pulses through him, red in the face and body completely rigid.
Without warning, a second orgasm, harder, rocks through me. Stars fill my vision. I fall forward, Zephyr’s shadow catching me before I can completely collapse on top of him.
My whole body is locked up in the same way as his.
It’s painful. It’s pleasurable. It hurts so good that I can’t believe I kept myself from him, from them, this long. Denying myself this connection with them was the biggest mistake I’ve made.
When breathing comes easier, I open my eyes. Zephyr’s face is just inches from mine, but I can see he’s smiling. As I come back to myself, he rakes his fingers through my hair.
Pushing up from the bed, he kisses me. It’s lazy and sweet. “Thank you, Alpha.”
I nod, still trying to remember how to breathe as I sort myself out. I let go of Zephyr’s cock and support myself on the bed with my hands.
Mournfully, I pull out from within him. It’s the same disappointing feeling that comes from leaving Honey’s sweet center.
Zephyr pushes up as my shadow releases him, and he kisses me again. It’s sleepy and tender. I cup his chin and kiss back, hoping it portrays the admiration, compassion, and love I hold for him.
A soft yawn and murmur draw my attention to the cuddled duo. Honey’s eyes are open. They’re still sleepy as she looks at us, but they hold a glint of a smile. Knowing and approving. She settles back into sleep.