Chapter Thirty-Three #2
‘Yes! Mark really messed you around and you did nothing to deserve it. Between you meeting, marrying and now going through a divorce, he’s been non-stop.
Never quite sure, always busy, off with his mates.
You’ve put up with so much. You deserve a fresh start and a home that fills you with joy. Somewhere you can relax and feel safe.’
I was touched. ‘That’s how I felt at Firefly.’
‘But not here?’
‘Not yet.’
‘It’ll come. You’ve only just got back. Give it time.’
‘I hope so,’ I said, looking around. ‘This definitely helps.’
Abi gave me a hug. ‘Good. Now. Let me get on to Benji, while you RSVP with a carrier pigeon, or smoke signals, or however you and Henrik plan to communicate without the luxury of technology. Then we can plan your outfit and get styling!’
‘I’m so glad you’re here, Abs.’ The flat was feeling more like home, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on why.
Was it because Abi was here? It was hard to feel alone with one of my besties in the room next door.
Home was having my people around me, and the truth was that Mark’s place had always been Mark’s place.
Even with a lick of paint and my clothes hanging in his wardrobe.
We hadn’t chosen it together and it was never really mine.
But this flat had been my first big purchase once I could afford to get on the property ladder, and I’d worked day and night to get the deposit together and pay the mortgage on my own.
But you don’t get the big bucks without the big amount of work to go with it, which meant I barely saw it once I’d moved in.
A quick shower and out to work in the morning, then back at night for another quick shower and off to bed.
It had been like living in a hotel room.
Being a barrister hadn’t given me any respite. Ten years of hard slog with no time to rest. I didn’t regret it, but maybe it was time for me to be something else. These burnout attacks weren’t going to stop by themselves. They were a warning sign from my body.
The front door buzzed again.
‘It’s like Picadilly Circus in here,’ Jimbo shouted from the bedroom.
I laughed. ‘I know! I’m not expecting anyone – it’s probably the wrong flat.’ I pressed the intercom. ‘Hello?’
‘Hey, Sara, it’s me.’ I switched to video and could see Mark stood on the doorstep holding a bunch of flowers.
‘Oh. Hi,’ I said, flatly. He was the last person I wanted to speak to.
‘Any chance I can come up?’
‘Erm… not really, no. I’ve got someone here. Wait there, I’ll come down.’ I didn’t want him in my freshly painted space. This flat was a Mark-free zone. He wasn’t welcome in my life anymore.
I ran downstairs without a coat and stepped outside in my slippers. He couldn’t keep me talking for too long in the freezing cold.
‘We’re still technically married, and you won’t even invite me in?’
‘That’s right,’ I said with a smile. ‘I’ve invited you in plenty of times. It’s time to stop now. Not that you deserve any explanation after what you pulled at Firefly. Those people are my friends.’
Mark held the flowers out. White roses, my favourite.
‘I’m sorry. I know I fucked up. I wish I’d never gone out there. The whole thing has been a disaster, and I accept all responsibility.’
‘As if you could blame it on anyone else.’
‘I hadn’t planned to confuse you or toy with your emotions out there either. Firefly Forest looked like a great investment opportunity all round, but it seems I read it wrong.’
‘You did.’
‘Can we at least be friends?’
I looked at him stood there, stumbling over his terrible apology, knowing he’d done this to hundreds of people like Tore over the years to make money.
Money I’d once enjoyed as well. It felt good for him to get a taste of his own medicine, but there was no point being at war when we had the dogs between us.
‘Only for the sake of our hairy children,’ I said, taking the roses. ‘It was a snake move and a really shitty thing to do – there’s no getting away from that.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. And funny you should mention the dogs…’ My internal alarm bells started ringing. ‘I wanted to float something by you.’
‘Did you indeed.’
‘Yes. I was wondering if you might consider full custody?’
‘Really? How come?’
‘I don’t have time for them, Sara. When it was both of us living in the house it was different. We made it work between us. But this co-parenting thing is too messy. It’s a pain for us and unsettling for them. I think it would be best all round if they had one home.’
This was amazing news! Mum and Dad loved the dogs and had missed them desperately. They could help me look after them and then Mark and I would be out of each other’s hair for good.
‘Let me think about it,’ I said, and Mark smiled, knowing that ninety-nine per cent of the time, that meant yes.
‘Cool,’ he replied. ‘Shall we hug it out?’
My gut said no but it was a moment in time, and I needed the closure as much as he did.
I held my arms out and we had one last hug.
He was the same Mark I’d married, but he felt like a stranger somehow, a man I didn’t really know anymore.
Just like he didn’t really know me. And our hug had no heart in it.
‘Thank you for the flowers.’ I breathed in his sorry and goodbye present and smiled.
‘Anytime,’ he said. ‘Let me know about the dogs.’
He walked off into the drizzle, pinging open an umbrella to protect his curls, and I felt a weight lift. I hadn’t wanted us to part on bad terms, and we hadn’t. We were finally done, and I knew that would be it now. I could close my chapter as Mrs Pearson and go back to being Ms Lee.