Chapter 29 #2
‘The sand here isn’t as white as some of the beaches – if we were really doing it properly, having a white Christmas Caribbean style, we should have picked a beach with paler sand, but—’
‘No. I think this is the perfect choice,’ she said, frowning at her use of that word again. She pulled in a deep breath, convinced she was about to put a sledgehammer through the ambiance. ‘Can I ask you something?’
‘I know what you’re going to say,’ he said, surprising her.
‘Do you?’
‘Yes – you’re going to ask how come I had a rum punch after everything I’ve said about the captain never really being off duty.’
Hannah tilted her head. It hadn’t been the question, but it was something she’d noticed.
‘I decided I could get away with a single drink today – it is Christmas Day, after all. One won’t put me over any limits.
And logically, there are hundreds of crew on board the Ballygowan right now, the ship is moored, the weather is set fair, and I have my phone with me in case of emergencies.
’ He leant towards her, and she matched his movement, being rewarded when they kissed, lips sweet with rum and fruit juice, before he added, ‘And I want to make the most of today, being here with you – you know?’
‘Me too,’ she said, lodging herself back against the comfortable slope of the lounger. She frowned, needed to get on with it and just ask.
‘There’s another question, Louis. And it’s not really any of my business, but there is a reason for my asking.
’ She paused, taking a second to wonder if there was any better way to broach the subject, then decided to plough straight in.
‘I’m just going to come out and say it. You said things with your father aren’t the easiest, and the thing is I know he’s on this cruise – I’ve met him. ’
‘You have?’
‘Only fleetingly.’ Hannah frowned, not sure how much more she should say about Louis’ father reconnecting with Ruth. ‘I was wondering how bad things are between you.’
Louis took a moment before he replied – probably trying to process her clumsy and frankly weird line of questioning. Then he sighed.
‘Mum always said my dad just wanted the best for me; that was why they put so much into helping me with the competitive boat racing I did when I was young. But achieving the things he wanted – or hoped for – just seemed to become increasingly unobtainable. I was doing my best, but he never seemed to understand that maybe my best wasn’t ever going to be good enough. ’
He paused, took a sip of cola, rebalanced himself.
‘It takes a particular type of person to make it in top-level competition, whatever the sport. A certain character to make it in the international arena, to get picked for the Olympics – all that stuff. I wasn’t that person.
I know it was a massive disappointment to him, and I don’t think he ever got over it.
Eventually I stopped racing, left home and headed in a different direction, ended up working the cruise scene – but somehow that just seemed to alienate him further.
I couldn’t win. I know I should have tried harder to patch things up for Mum’s sake, if nobody else’s.
And then she got ill, and the issue shifted, became more about the fact I was never at home spending time with her, even though by then I was putting everything I had into furthering my career – which was something I was stupid enough to think he would appreciate. ’
It was difficult to marry up the version of a man Hannah was hearing about with the man she’d met. But then her own father appeared genial and upbeat to his customers and friends, while at home he was crushed by the weight of running the deli, and he let them all know how hard it was.
She kept quiet, waiting to see if Louis had more to say, especially about his mum. Hannah had no idea what it felt like to have lost a parent, but from Louis’ expression it had hit him hard.
‘And that is something I do profoundly regret,’ he said.
‘I know Mum wanted me to spend time at theirs last Christmas – I came up with some pathetic reason why I couldn’t make it.
I will never forgive myself for that – I blamed him, told myself it was his fault I didn’t go, but the truth is I should have gone and spent that time with her.
Because this Christmas she’s not around any longer. ’
Louis’ voice hitched, and Hannah reached across, resting a hand on his arm.
‘I didn’t mean to rake up difficult feelings. And I’m so sorry about your mum.’
‘I think that’s why Dad’s on the cruise – we need to make amends, somehow. It was what Mum wanted. Not that we’ve made much progress so far.’
Hannah frowned. This was getting increasingly complicated. ‘I think you need to know something – and it’s why I brought the subject up at all.’
‘What’s that?’ Louis said.
Hannah took a deep breath. ‘So, it turns out that Ruth and your father know one another.’
Louis looked completely confused. ‘How?’
It was Hannah’s turn to play down the situation, just as Ruth had done for her during her introduction to Teddy.
‘Apparently, they were friends when they were teenagers. But then Ruth moved away for work, and they lost contact. That’s how I’ve already met him – because he was with Ruth. Having coffee.’
Louis took a sip of his punch. ‘Well, I suppose that’s nice, to meet up with someone you haven’t seen for such a long time.’
‘I think they were really good friends, Louis. And they’re enjoying catching up and so…’ She frowned; there was no way around it. She just needed to spill the information. ‘He’s spending today with Ruth and the others, and he’ll be coming here too. I thought you should know ahead of time.’
‘He’s coming here this afternoon?’
Louis set down his drink and Hannah didn’t know what to make of it when he got to his feet and headed for the water’s edge.