Chapter One #2
The Excalibur office loomed large above us as we got out of the cab, dominating the skyline.
A skinny metal building with a square head, which we’d nicknamed The Spatula.
I’d walked through these revolving doors thousands of times over the years and felt as much at home here as I did back at the agency.
The security guards gave me a friendly wave as I beeped us through the barrier.
They saw me just as often as the Excalibur staff and had issued me with a pass to save the daily admin of signing me in.
‘Off we go,’ I said, as the lift launched us up to the tenth floor. Heidi took a deep breath, her eyes now wide open as we catapulted through the building then shuddered to a halt.
‘Let’s do this,’ she said, as the doors slid open, more to herself than me, and the pair of us marched out and nearly collided with Greg Excalibur and his entourage.
‘Hold the doors!’ he called, and I wedged my foot in as they started to close.
He had an air of James Bond’s dad about him and still dressed sharp and smart despite being in his late sixties.
Lithe and dynamic, his beautifully tailored Armani suit singled him out as the captain of the ship. It was clear he was the boss.
‘Morning, Greg,’ I chirped, as he strode past me, followed by his PA, his EA and two men with open laptops. All of them far too busy to put the work down for even a second.
‘Ladies,’ he said, acknowledging us with a curt nod. ‘Enjoy your meeting with Brooke.’
‘How are you, Greg? It’s been too long…’ Heidi started, as the doors slammed shut.
Greg Excalibur had been passed the family business by his father, who’d been passed it by his father before him.
Three generations of men who loved being in front of the camera and the sound of their own voice on the radio.
Greg wanted Excalibur to be the by-word for cruising.
Like Sellotape or Hoover or Jacuzzi. To be in the dictionary and part of the British lexicon as his family legacy.
For cruisers to say we’re off on an Excalibur and for people to know what that meant.
The teams on both sides had been working hard to make it happen and we were finally starting to get somewhere, so a new boss coming in to shake up the strategy would really throw them.
Heidi put her laptop on the reception desk with an over-zealous smile. ‘Heidi Caddel and Kat Brennan for Brooke Harris,’ she said to the man beaming back at us. He was wearing full crew uniform, as were all the front-of-house staff. Everything but the sailor’s hat.
‘Absolutely,’ he said. ‘Ms Harris is expecting you.’
Were people still saying Ms? I’d tried it on for size instead of Miss at one point, but both titles sounded ridiculous at thirty-four years old.
But then I wasn’t a Mrs either. So many words to let people know your marital status as a woman, but only Mr for men.
Typical. The mahogany doors opened automatically – a replica of the dining room entrance on the very first Excalibur cruise ship – and a tall, perma-tanned lady with a head of blonde hair appeared in a flurry of green.
‘Brooke Harris, delighted to meet you both,’ she said, smelling zesty and fresh. My new best friend was all business, with a firm handshake and intense eye contact, the exchange only slightly softened by her southern accent.
‘Pleasure’s all mine,’ I said, imitating her style. ‘Kat Brennan, Business Director at Northstar PR.’
‘And Heidi Caddel, CEO. Great to meet you in person.’
My face already ached from all the smiling as we followed Brooke into the boardroom.
It was an enormous space, with views across the city, and the wooden table was polished to gleaming with tiny goldfish swimming up and down the centre section.
I’d been to many a product showcase session in this room and knew it almost as well as my own flat.
Greg would use the big screen to reveal the latest cruise liner to the leadership team and their agencies, with platters of Pret sandwiches and buckets of beers on the table.
This was the first time I’d ever felt out of place in here.
The atmosphere was awkward and uncomfortable, and I wasn’t entirely sure how to behave.
Ordinarily I’d have helped myself to a coffee, made one for Fran, and got going with whatever we needed to discuss, but not today.
No. Today was the Brooke show, and Heidi and I sat quietly, waiting for her to speak.
‘Thank you so much for coming in at short notice.’ Brooke beamed. ‘I’ve been looking forward to meeting you both so much!’
‘And us you,’ Heidi said, fawning over her. ‘Congratulations on your new role. This has been quite the surprise announcement… for all of us.’
Brooke leant back in her chair. ‘I know. Internally here too, of course. There’s been a lot of work going on behind the scenes to push the deal through, so I’m glad to finally be through the other side of it.’
‘Fran will be missed,’ I said, hoping to get some kind of reaction or gossip out of her. ‘We’ve worked with her for years.’
Brooke played it cool, with no sign of emotion as she answered. ‘So I hear. Yes, Fran has been great for the business, but you know what they say – a change is as good as a rest. She felt it was time to move on and who were we to stand in her way? All very amicable of course.’
Fran would never have suggested moving on – amicably or otherwise. Excalibur was her everything. They must have paid her a chunky wedge to just pack up and leave like that.
‘She’ll be snapped up soon enough,’ Heidi said. ‘These kinds of situations inevitably lead to growth opportunities if you keep your positivity glasses on.’
‘Right?’ Brooke said. ‘I’m glad you see it like that, Heidi, as that’s very much our thinking on the situation we have here with you gals and Northstar.’
The room went a different kind of quiet as Heidi and I realised we’d been talked into a trap.
‘Is it?’ I asked.
‘Absolutely! There is a huge growth opportunity when it comes to our PR strategy and I’m here to make it happen.’
‘Alleluia. That is music to my ears,’ Heidi said, and I wasn’t sure if she was deliberately misunderstanding. ‘Between us, Fran was never very ambitious for the brand. We have loads of ideas we’d like to present. We are here and ready to supercharge the PR with you.’
Heidi kicked me under the table and I jumped.
‘Yes! We’d love to talk you through some of our highest-performing case studies,’ I said, keen to get her on side, ‘and give you a sense of how we operate.’
Brooke dismissed me with a wave. ‘No need, I’ve seen it all.
You guys have been real troupers in putting us on the cruising map that’s for sure, and we’re hella grateful for that,’ she said, talking like she was the founder, not someone who’d been in position for less than a week.
‘And so, I won’t dilly-dally, as you Brits say – I’ll cut straight to the chase. ’
Heidi’s leg started jiggling under the table and I froze.
‘I want to vamp things up a little around here,’ she said, leaning in conspiratorially. ‘And having the right agency by my side is the first step in doing that.’
Heidi plastered on a smile. ‘One hundred per cent. And we are incredibly proud to be that agency.’
Brooke cocked her head. ‘I don’t know which agency is right just yet,’ she said, lightly. ‘But I’m sure as hell gonna find out.’
And there it was. She’d fired her first shot and I felt sick to my stomach. The air was thick and stifling, but I couldn’t help an involuntary shiver. I’d been deferring to Heidi until now but it was time to get involved. I needed clarity on what she was saying.
‘Sorry, Brooke, do you mean you’ll be doing a review?’
‘Nothing to be sorry about, sweetheart. Yeah, kinda. More than a review though; I’d like you to re-pitch for the Excalibur Cruises business, against one or two other agencies –
I’m seeing a selection this week for a meet-and-greet.’
‘For the whole account?’ Heidi asked, incredulous. ‘Everything?’
‘That’s right, cookie,’ Brooke replied. ‘We want to see what you’ve got.’
‘I can show you what we’ve got, right now,’ I said, flipping my laptop open. ‘We’ve got a presentation to talk you through and loads of ideas to keep the PR fresh and moving forward.’
‘My team have briefed me on everything you’ve done to date.
And it’s nice and all, but the business is entering a new phase and it needs a turbo boost, y’know?
Our cruise ships are bigger and better than ever; we’ve got huge stars on the line-up, the best facilities, unusual routes – it’s not just a big boat trip anymore, it’s a holiday sensation. ’
I scribbled as she talked, wanting to capture her exact words. This sweet-smiling American wasn’t taking any prisoners. We had to be on our A-game and get her on board ASAP.
‘Do we really need to go down the route of a competitive pitch?’ I asked. ‘Could we not have a stab at the brief first and then call a pitch if you’re not happy?’
Heidi nodded frenetically. ‘We’ve been running your PR for over ten years at Northstar! No one knows you like we do. If you give us a sense of the new direction you’re looking for, we can take it away and work on it immediately.’
‘Which would save you a lot of time and money,’ I added, sounding desperate.
‘Don’t you worry about all that. We’ve got the rest of our lives, don’t we? Plenty of time to make sure we’ve got the right partners by our side. And as you say, you know us best… which puts you at a huge advantage, so I’m sure y’all will do just fine.’
Heidi and I had the same stunned expression as we nodded.
This was a serious situation. Seriously shitty.
Half the agency worked on Excalibur and if we lost the account, they’d lose their jobs.
I’d lose my job. The thought of it made my insides shrivel.
I’d worked like a trojan my entire life and there was no way I was starting again from scratch.