Chapter Twenty-four
Twenty-four
‘I hope you don’t mind me saying so, Kat, but you look dreadful,’ Heidi said, sitting opposite me with her overnight oats.
I smiled sweetly and tried to muster some tolerance, while a vein pulsed in my forehead.
‘Not at all! Why would I mind?’ I’d piled on extra concealer to hide my black eye, but there was only so much Maybelline could be expected to do.
And while I hated to admit it, Heidi was right – my face was getting worse, not better.
I put my sunglasses on and pulled down my cap.
‘Today must be the final day for the bruising to come out.’
‘Let’s hope so,’ she said, unconvinced. ‘Now. I’ve got some bad news to share. Sam was on the phone first thing this morning and he needs me home urgently.’
‘Was he? Why? What’s happened?’ Another fake cat emergency no doubt.
‘I’d rather not go into the details if you don’t mind. I appreciate that it leaves you in the lurch somewhat, but needs must. I’m booked on a flight this afternoon.’
‘To London?! This afternoon, as in today?’
‘Yes, today,’ she said, rolling her eyes. ‘Urgent means urgent. I’ve explained and apologised to Brooke, but I’ve seen enough now to shape the pitch, especially now we have the unimaginable moments territory to play with, and you’re still here to represent as the cruise wraps up.’
‘Right.’
I tried not to look too pleased. I didn’t want to let her off the hook completely, but my overwhelming feeling was one of relief.
A couple more hours and I’d be free of her breathing down my neck 24/7, volunteering me for all the activities and skiving off.
I could hide in my cabin and pretend to be working for the last day or two.
‘I’ve sketched up a few execution ideas, so I’ll send those over. And look, I’m sorry, OK? I’ll make it up to you,’ she offered, at least having the good grace to look contrite. ‘I promise.’
Just as I opened my mouth to put a request in, Leo stumbled into the restaurant, and I nearly dropped dead in shock as Heidi frowned in his direction. ‘What’s he doing here?’
I shrugged dramatically. ‘Morning!’ I shouted, giving him the stink eye behind Heidi’s back.
Was this a wind-up? We’d agreed he’d leave discreetly, not follow me into the restaurant for a quick continental.
He may as well wear a T-shirt with Kat’s in the bag on the front and be done with it.
He gave us one of his cheeky salutes, and my insides turned to jelly.
That mischievous grin worked every time.
‘Bom dia, ladies,’ he said, piling his plate high with custard tarts. There was no further explanation offered, so Heidi leapt up and marched over, while I sat frozen to my chair.
‘Industrial espionage for breakfast, is it?’
He laughed. ‘Hardly. This place does the best pastel de natas in Lisbon according to the guidebook, so we thought we’d swing by and check it out.’
‘We?’ Heidi looked behind him. ‘Are you with your imaginary friend?’
Zach marched through the swingy doors on cue and slapped Leo on the back. ‘I’m starving,’ he said, grunting an acknowledgement in our direction. He looked like he’d slept on the streets, with his pale face and wild, woolly beard.
‘You’re both here,’ I said, relieved to see Zach.
‘Obviously. We come as a pair.’
‘A pair of jokers,’ Heidi quipped and Zach gave her a withering stare. ‘Bookends?’
‘Aces more like. And we aren’t always together; we bumped into each other down the street.’
‘How romantic,’ Heidi said. ‘Well, if your plan was to sabotage our thinking time you’re too late. We’re done with our ideas for now and I’m flying home this afternoon. My stint on the Esmeralda is over.’
Zach frowned in disbelief. ‘Since when?’
‘Since I got a call from home, just now.’
‘You’re going back today?’ Leo said and I stuffed a croissant in my mouth to stifle a giggle.
‘YES!’ Heidi huffed. ‘So I’ll say goodbye now and may the best agency win when we reach the other side. No hard feelings either way, eh?’
‘Absolutely. A fair fight, no dirty play, and let’s go for drinks either way,’ Leo said, holding his arms out for a hug.
I couldn’t decide if that was an accidental rhyme or something he said to everyone. An Amplify agency catchphrase.
‘Let’s not make promises we can’t keep,’ Heidi said, graciously dodging him and flouncing off to the omelette station.
‘Left hanging!’ Zach said, with a chuckle, going in for a hug with Leo instead. ‘Worth a try though, mate.’
‘It’s my Manc manners,’ Leo replied, flushing red. ‘I can’t help myself.’
‘Lads, I’ll take you for commiseration drinks once we’re reappointed,’ I whispered conspiratorially. ‘OK?’
‘And if you’re not?’ Leo stared at me, knowing the answer full well. ‘I love how you’re already planning to be a sore loser.’
‘It doesn’t hurt to plan ahead,’ Zach said, stuffing a custard pie in his mouth.
‘I’ll see you boys back on the ship. Careful not to make yourselves sick.’
***
‘How are your snake hips?’ Leo asked, as we followed Dahlia into the Adonis Lounge for the salsa classes. The activities schedule was never-ending.
‘Well… they don’t lie, that’s for sure, and they’re telling me they’ll need replacing in five to ten years. Overuse has sent them skewwhiff.’
Leo laughed.
‘Jeez – oversharing much?’ Zach said, with a look of disgust.
‘How about you two? Are you dancers?’ I asked, flexing my toes.
‘Depends on the dance,’ Leo said.
‘Country dancing? Tap dancing?’ I suggested. ‘Lap dancing?’
‘Oh yeah, all of that,’ Leo said, with twinkly eyes. ‘I’m known as the lap-dancing lion by the Magic Mike guys.’
‘Nice,’ I said, trying not to smile. ‘Have you got a costume?’
‘Wouldn’t you like to know.’
‘If it’s breakdancing, I’m down,’ Zach said, doing a cringey body pop. No one wanted to see that.
‘I heard you can do the worm, Leo?’
‘Maybe in my younger days, but it’s been a while,’ he said, with a wink.
The Adonis Lounge was wall-to-wall mirrors, with a barre running along one side and a shiny wooden floor.
It took me back to my adult ballet lessons, which had served as a weekly reminder that I had the grace of an elephant.
I eventually mastered the plié, which was really just bending both legs, but my swan lake dreams were crushed in week six when the teacher snapped that we were supposed to be dancing, not clodding around like heavy lumps.
Sculptures of noble heads sat on plinths at the far side of the room and there was a heavy black curtain at the back. I was surprised to see so many people mingling and chatting, waiting for ‘class’ to start.
The lights dimmed and there was an automatic hush as J-Lo’s ‘Let’s Get Loud’ started blaring from invisible speakers and Brooke ran in to join us.
‘Ladies and gentlemennn,’ Dahlia bellowed into a microphone, making me jump. ‘May I introduce you to your dance teachers today, and this year’s International Ballroom Dancing Champions, Chico and Catarina Enchalezzzzzz!’
The curtain whipped to one side and a perma-tanned couple burst into the room. The woman was in a silver bustier and froufrou skirt, and the man was trussed up like a space turkey in a ruffled waistcoat and silver trousers.
‘Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr ow ow owwwwwwwwwww!’
‘Derrrrrrrringggggg chicaaaaaaa chica!’
They screeched along to the Latina music, while spinning in the centre of the room, doing an energetic performance with a lot of bending, to get us all in the mood.
Leo side-eyed me and I could see his lips were twitching.
‘Count me out for that,’ I said, as Chico flipped Catarina upside down and held her up by her legs.
‘Me too,’ Brooke said, looking rightly horrified.
She hadn’t participated in any of the activities until now, but we were one down without Heidi, so she was getting a taste of her own medicine.
A couple of the guests tapped their feet along, delighted, and I could see the hips starting to unconsciously move around the circle, but I don’t think any of us had imagined salsa dancing could be so dramatic… and, er… gymnastic.
‘Welcome class, it is our pleasure to teach you today,’ Chico said, with an elaborate bow.
‘Thank you each for coming on your LAST CRUISE SUNDAY,’ Catarina added, and everyone cheered. ‘We want to get you up and dancing straight away, so Dahlia, please hit on the music.’
‘Everyone to stand on this side of the room,’ Chico said pointing to the left, as he made his way over to the wall opposite.
‘We will do some improvisation,’ Catarina said, standing in front of us as Pixie Lott’s ‘All About Tonight’ started over the speakers.
‘Watch me first!’ she shouted as she strutted over to Chico, waving her hands in the air and wiggling her hips to the beat.
She turned with a flourish and pointed to Leo.
‘You next,’ she shouted, and my stomach dropped.
Oh please, no. Were we all expected to do it?
This was my worst nightmare. A much more embarrassing version of dancing in the middle of a circle of your own friends.
Sober and in front of strangers. I really, REALLY didn’t want to do it.
Leo lapped it up though – of course he did – striding across the room wielding his air guitar, then dropping to his knees to do a solo.
Catarina clapped to the music and picked out her next victim.
A tall woman in a velour tracksuit shimmied across to the beat, followed by a moonwalking man who was loving the whoops and cheers of the crowd.
In the blink of an eye there were more people on the right of the room than on the left, and I had no choice but to launch myself forward.
I didn’t want to go last. I did a locomotion across the floor and nearly died of mortification, until Brooke grabbed my waist and made it a two-woman conga.