Chapter Thirty-seven
Thirty-seven
Marylebone high street was buzzing as our black cab crawled along in the heat.
It was packed with people wandering around in the sunshine, mooching in and out of the shops, and the pubs and restaurants were teeming with hungry tourists and after-work drinkers.
This part of London held a special place in my heart and always felt exciting.
Full of good vibes, it was the closest thing to a physical act of apology I could think to do.
I looked over at Leo and couldn’t believe we were here together, out and about in London on a real date. Finally.
‘Just here please,’ I said, and the cabbie lurched to a stop outside the best restaurant in London – Chez Margot.
‘Can you round it up to twenty?’ Leo said, with his card already out.
‘I’m getting this,’ I said, handing the driver the cash. ‘I’m still apologising, remember.’
We climbed out of the cab and I pointed towards the restaurant. ‘This is my favourite place to eat,’ I explained, taking his hand. ‘And by me bringing you here you are now privy to classified information that only the HIIT girls know.’
‘Got it,’ he said, zipping his lips. ‘I don’t want to upset the hit-girls. I assume they’re like hitwomen but younger. Snipers?’
‘Close. They’re my exercise group. Although we don’t really exercise anymore. We met at HIIT classes a while ago and one of the girls, Abi, brought me here and I’ve been coming ever since. She’s in LA now, but her other half is Italian and his family supply some of the wine.’
‘Sounds complicated. Can you draw me a diagram?’
I rolled my eyes and pulled him along. ‘If you really need one.’
‘We’ll order a bottle or two,’ Leo said. ‘To support your friend’s other half’s family.’
‘I suppose we should really,’ I agreed, beaming like an idiot.
I pushed open the door and kept my fingers crossed Margot would have a table. The restaurant was vibrant and busy, despite it being a Monday, and the open windows welcomed in a warm breeze, as people enjoyed their steak onglet and charcuterie boards with large glasses of wine.
‘Ahhh, bonjour, Katarine, ca va?’ Margot came bustling over with a big smile and a triple kiss. ‘It ’as been a while! And who ’ave we got ’ere? Welcome to you both.’
‘Margot! I’m very well, ca va bien! This is Leo, a friend… kind of thing. Can you squeeze us in?’ I looked around hopefully, but there weren’t any empty tables. No such luck.
‘But, of course! A pleasure to meet you, Leo,’ Margot said, double kissing him warmly. ‘A cat and a lion, together, eh? How is that working out?’
‘I’m more of a kitten, Margot, we both know that.’
‘C’est vrai. You are that – a cute little kitty cat.’
‘I hear this place is London’s best-kept secret,’ Leo said. ‘Not that you’d know.’
Margot tinkled with laughter. ‘Zut! I wish it ’ad been better kept! Where ’ave all these people come from?’
‘Your food is too good, Margot,’ I said, my stomach rumbling. ‘We can just sit at the bar if that’s OK?’
‘Absolutement. For a few minutes at the bar but I will find you a space, you know that – ’ave an aperitif on me while I pressure someone to leave.’
I laughed as we followed her over to the ornate, mirrored bar, and hopped up onto the stools.
The shelves were packed with every spirit you could imagine, but I only ever went with Margot’s wine recommendation.
She automatically poured me out a glass of white, while smiling at us both.
‘Is it wine for you too, Leo, or can I get you something else?’
‘Yes, please. I’ll go with the flow.’
‘We like that in a man, don’t we, Kat?’
I nodded. ‘We sure do. But it’s a sound decision. Margot has the best wine selection in London. What are we drinking tonight?’
‘Ahhh, I ’ad a fresh delivery from Tuscany just this week – from Abi actually – and this one is from there.’ She pushed two straw-coloured white wines in our direction. ‘It is like a honey. Salut. Please enjoy and I will get you a table as soon as I can.’
‘Salut!’ I said, clinking my glass with Leo’s.
‘Salut to you too,’ he replied, with a smile, our legs touching as we sat side by side.
The wine was deliciously light and drinkable. Just how I liked it.
‘I was hoping we might get some alone time together as it happens,’ Leo said. ‘I got you a little something just in case.’
‘Did you?’ I asked. ‘What if I’d told you to sod off even after you’d explained?’
‘Call me a hopeless romantic, I guess,’ he replied, pulling a small box out of his pocket.
I eyed it in surprise. ‘Are you about to propose?’
Leo laughed. ‘I’m not that hopeless.’ He opened the box and there, wedged into a red velvet ring slot, was my liver bird necklace.
I was speechless. ‘How did you even…?’ I picked it up in shock; it was like a magic trick. He must have hired a fleet of detectorists to find it. There was no possible way it could be…
‘It’s not your lucky number eight I’m afraid,’ he said. ‘But I managed to track down another.’
‘There were only ever a handful made. How did you…?’
He turned it over in my hand. ‘Luck must be on my side. I know it’s not the same, but by some miracle I found number eighty-eight. Double your lucky number for twice the luck,’ he said, with a shy smile. ‘I know how much it meant to you.’
The gold was glossy and the chain was slinky and delicate. Leo put it on for me, then kissed my neck, and it sat in the exact same spot as my old liver bird, next to my heart. It felt right.
‘I don’t know what to say,’ I whispered, holding on to it tight. ‘This is so incredibly thoughtful. Thank you doesn’t feel like enough.’
‘It’s enough,’ he said, softly. ‘I’m glad you like it.’
‘I do.’
‘Now your lucky moments can remind you of me, too.’
‘Why would I need reminding of you?’ His smile dropped and I lifted his chin with my finger.
‘This isn’t the last time we’ll see each other, is it?
’ His eyes searched mine, hesitant and slightly fearful, as though I was about to pull the rug out from under him again.
‘I didn’t mean for that to sound like a question,’ I said, changing tone to make it a statement of fact.
‘This isn’t the last time we’ll see each other, is it. ’
‘I hope not, but as I said, this whole situation has been very confusing. I’ve never been entirely sure where I stand.’
‘Mr Leo Kendrick feeling insecure? Now I’ve seen it all.
Hold the front page of PR News.’ His neck flushed bright red.
I hadn’t seen this side of him before, and I felt mean toying with his emotions.
‘Let me tell you where I stand – or where I want to stand – and maybe that’ll help.
When we worked together as interns I couldn’t think about anything but getting that job.
I liked you – of course I did – but you were the competition, and all I could think about was beating you.
Then when you got it instead I couldn’t bear to stay in touch as the loser.
Any reminder of you made me feel like a failure. ’
‘No!’ he said, looking genuinely concerned.
‘You were the smart one, the creative one – the one with all the brilliant ideas. I just put the decks together and talked them through. I was convinced that whole summer that you’d get the job and I’d be out on my arse.
It seemed obvious to me that you were the right choice. ’
‘Yeah, right.’
‘It’s true! And then when they offered it to me, I couldn’t believe my luck.
I felt like the cat who’d got the cream – the job and maybe a chance with you.
I’d planned to ask you out properly once the dust settled and you’d been snapped up by a competitor, but you disappeared.
You never got back to me when I reached out.
How could you ever feel like a failure? I was the fraud – I should never have accepted the job. ’
‘Of course you should. You got the job for lots of different reasons; it was never just down to the work. You’re cool and relaxed and charming. I’m none of those things.’
‘You’re all of those things!’ he said, reaching out to squeeze my leg under the bar, as if to emphasise his point.
‘Well, I’d never describe myself like that, and that’s the truth. YOU have an innate belief in yourself that I’ve never had and seeing you after all this time has reminded me of that.’
‘I’m glad it appears that way, because inside I’m full of jelly. The imposter syndrome is real.’
‘For me too, and if I’m honest, this pitch brought up those same feelings of failure again – knowing you could take my account from me and having you right there in my face.
However much I liked you as a person, my livelihood was at stake.
But amid all that, I started to develop real feelings and the more they grew, the more I just wanted to be with you. ’
‘Same,’ he said, leaning in.
‘I was almost looking for a reason to shut it down, you know? Maybe my subconscious needed to believe the bad in you to be able to focus on the pitch. Maybe it was the same thing all those years ago as well – to justify the loss. I was devastated and it was easier to blame you than to consider I might be at fault somehow.’
‘Wow,’ he breathed, looking at me tenderly.
‘But as of now, I stand sorry and hopeful we might be able to sort this out,’ I said, giving him a friendly nudge. ‘I feel embarrassed about the whole situation and… I’ve missed you.’ I paused. ‘What about you? Where do you stand? Or where would you like to?’
He pretended to think for a second.
‘I’m not sure I want to stand anywhere at the moment; I’m pretty happy sitting right here.
’ He leant forward and kissed me, sending tingles down my spine.
Leo came up for air and pulled himself together.
‘But if you insist on an answer, then I’d like to stand next to you in the American Bar in The Savoy and drink dirty martinis,’ he said, stroking my hand.
‘I’d like to stand in the crowd at Wembley with you and watch Liverpool win the FA Cup. ’
‘Haha, we wish!’
‘I’d like to prop up the bar with you in my local pub, where they have a lock-in on a Thursday and then queue up with you for my favourite curry house on Brick Lane where the poppadoms are bigger than the plates.’
‘Bagsy the mint yoghurt dip.’
‘See? We’re yin and yang. I’m mango chutney all the way.’
‘Keep going,’ I said, drinking my wine and enjoying this glimpse into his mind.
‘I’d like us to carry on learning salsa together and I want to whisk you away to New York to see Hamilton on Broadway… and a million other things. Being on the cruise together was such a laugh. It’s been like living in black and white ever since we got back. I’ve been lost without you.’
‘Have you?’ I asked softly.
He nodded. ‘It’s the first time I’ve ever felt lonely on my own, if that makes sense. The cruise was so full-on, wasn’t it?’
‘We were kind of… thrown together and left to get on with it,’ I said, putting my hand on his leg and snuggling in. ‘It was like a social experiment at times.’
Leo laughed.
‘Come, come, follow me!’ Margot cooed from behind us. ‘I ’ave a table for you now. The best in the ’ouse.’
‘You say that to everyone,’ I said, giving her a hug. ‘Thank you, Margot.’
‘Your man is very cute!’ she whispered into my hair. ‘Tres bien.’
I couldn’t stop the smile spreading across my face.
There was a small charcuterie with fresh bread and butter already on the table and Margot topped up our wine and left us with the menus.
‘I do mean it,’ Leo said, staring into my eyes. ‘I want to wine and dine you.’
I laughed. ‘And the rest.’
He smirked. ‘Yes, that too. All of it. I knew from the very first time I saw you, all those years ago, that there was something special about you, Kat Brennan. You took my breath away and still do. I don’t get nervous around people very often; it just isn’t in my nature.
But with you, I start second-guessing myself. ’
‘I feel the same,’ I said. ‘I was gutted when I thought you’d spent the night with Brooke. I didn’t want to believe it, but I’d seen you with my own eyes – what else could I think?’
‘I’ll say it again – you should have talked to me,’ he replied earnestly.
‘We work in communications for God’s sake – we should be good at this stuff.
But for the record, I’d never do something like that.
Cheating on you, cheating the process… It’s not who I am.
Not to mention it would overstep every professional boundary there is. ’
I nodded. ‘You’re right; I should have known there’d be an explanation. I’m sorry.’
‘As long as we’re cool now, that’s all I care about. My feelings for you are real and I just hope you feel the same way about me.’
‘I do.’
‘Can we seal it with another kiss? Just to make sure?’ His eyes searched mine, a cheeky smile on his lips.
‘Leo and Kat the kitten together at last?’
‘I’ve always seen you as more of a lioness.’
I smiled at his handsome face and leant forward to kiss him. His lips felt soft on mine, and the charge between us was electric as we finally surrendered to each other, giving in to what fate had planned for us all along.