Chapter 7 #2
“The first three weeks were rough for you. After that, shit got better, but it took a good five months for you to feel like your usual self again. Cade wasn’t fussy about your boob, though, so that’s different this time.
If Meredith won’t take it, she won’t take it.
I don’t want you to get all worked up over that. ”
Lily continued staring at me, until finally she burst into tears again.
“Why does it feel different, King? I don’t want it to be different.
” She got those words out between loud sobs, and then blubbered her way through, “I’m usually good at having babies and getting through everything I have to.
I don’t want this time to be different.”
I cupped the back of her neck and pulled her to me again.
“Fuck, Lil, this time will be whatever it will be. This isn’t shit we can control.
All we can do is go with the flow and be the best fucking parents we can.
Meredith will love you just the same as all the kids do.
And you’re not in this alone. I’m right the fuck by your side. Every minute of every day.”
Meredith let out a loud cry and Lily made a move to stand.
I stopped her. “I’ll go.” I gripped her neck and kissed her before standing and making my way to Meredith.
Bundling my daughter into my arms, I took a minute to run my eyes over her, making sure she was good. Safe. Healthy.
I’d spent hours doing this since she was born, finding it hard to leave her each day when I had to get home to the kids.
The awe I felt every time I had her in my arms was something I was sure I’d never stop feeling.
Lily and I created her, and we’d dedicate every second of our lives to ensuring she was safe and healthy.
I rocked her as I walked back into the bathroom, watching as she settled. The perfect ‘O’ her little mouth made as she exhaled and closed her eyes hit me fair in the chest every damn time.
Lily met me in the doorway. She wiped her tears as she said, “I really don’t remember it being this hard last time.”
“Trust me, it was. This is normal.”
Moving into me, she grasped my hip with one hand while bringing her other one to Meredith’s face. Trailing her fingers down Meredith’s cheek, she looked up at me. “I’m so lucky to have you. I mean, you can be too bossy at times, and way too demanding, but you always come through for me. Always.”
I arched a brow. “When have I ever been fucking demanding?”
Her eyes widened as her mouth lifted with a smile. “Oh my God, who knew you had a sense of humour in you. Seriously, did the earth just rotate the wrong way?”
I curled a hand around her neck and bent to kiss her again. “Fuck I’ve missed you at home.”
“That’s because Zara’s been giving you hell.”
“Yeah, she has, but that’s not why I miss you.
” I searched her eyes. “I miss watching you with the kids. I miss looking out of the kitchen window and seeing you sitting on your meditation bench having your Sacred fucking Pause. I miss you giving me hell over something you think I’ve fucking done.
And I fucking miss you in my arms at night. ”
“For a demanding, bossy man, you know the exact right thing to say sometimes.” She wrapped both arms around me as she looked at our child. “You calm her. She doesn’t stop crying this fast when I hold her.”
“Maybe some of that could rub off on you.”
“I stopped crying.”
“I was thinking more along the lines of when you’re pissed off with me.”
Lily tightened her hold on me. “You wrap me in your arms and be nice to me like that and you might just be surprised how fast I calm down.”
“You don’t fucking let me near you when you’re angry.”
“That’s because you get all moon moody sometimes. Don’t do that and you won’t have an issue.”
“What the fuck is moon moody?”
“Well, for most men it’s a once-a-month experience during full moon.
They get all moody and invoke their Dick Club membership.
But you”—her features softened like she was telling me she fucking loved me rather than this moon moody shit—“you experience moon-moody mood swings more than once a month. No one knows exactly when they’re coming.
All we know is to expect them often.” She stood on her toes and brushed her lips over mine.
“And trust me when I tell you that those kinds of mood swings will never get you near me.”
Gripping her ass with my free hand, I bent my mouth to her ear and growled, “Nothing will ever keep me away from you if I fucking want you.”
She sucked in a breath but was stopped from replying to that when Cade ran into the room and flung himself at his mother.
“Mummy! We play twucks!”
Lily smiled down at our son and nodded. “Yes, baby, we’ll play trucks when we get home.”
I passed Meredith to her so I could pull Cade up into my arms. He wanted Lily, but she couldn’t physically hold him yet.
I didn’t miss the flare of anxiety in Lily’s eyes as she took Meredith, however when Meredith barely stirred, that anxiety settled.
“I’m cooking your favourite for dinner,” Zara announced to her mother.
“Thank you, darling,” Lily said, pulling Zara in for a hug. Then, kissing her cheek, she said, “Can you do me a favour and finish packing my toiletries for me?”
Zara didn’t hesitate to help, shocking the absolute shit out of me.
Twenty minutes later, Zara and Holly had their mother all packed up, and after Lily was discharged, we exited the hospital.
“I love you, King,” Lily said as we walked behind the kids.
“Even though I’m a moody bastard?”
She blessed me with one of her smiles I fucking lived for.
Then, linking her fingers with mine, she said, “Yeah, even though you’re a moody bastard. But I do love you a little more on the days your Dick Club membership isn’t loud and proud.”
I pulled her to me and slid my arm around her waist. “So fucking long as you don’t love me less on the other days, I’m good.”
“I don’t love you less on those days.” She rested her head against my arm. “I will never love you less. Never.”
I inhaled a deep breath, exhaling it and any worries I might have had after finding Lily in the state she was earlier.
She was going to be okay because I’d make fucking sure of it.
And we were going to be okay because she loved me just as much as I loved her.
No woman had ever accepted my moody ass the way Lily had, or loved me in spite of it the way she did.
I was the fucking luckiest bastard alive.