Chapter 38
CRUTCH
Ella’s definitely the dominant personality here, don’t get me wrong.
But My Lulu roars like a damn beast during some of the finer moments of this pathetic party.
She flits around from person to person, hands neatly folded in front of her body, politely chatting about the weather or the excitement of her high school career drawing to an end. She agrees with everything that everyone says.
One person comments that the champagne in the Mimosas is flat. Ella agrees. Another person comments that the champagne is too bubbly. Ella agrees. One person argues that the President will be re-elected come November. Ella agrees. Another person argues that the President will be defeated in a landslide. Ella agrees.
Agree. Agree. Agree.
She often stands in silence, like a statue, just blankly staring at those around her as they have a conversation. It drives me damn crazy, quickly reminding me of the night we met. All that standing and staring. It makes me wanna scream. Grab her and shake her until her ball-busting, spit-fire persona comes bursting forth for all the people to see.
It’s My Lulu whom I love.
Yes, My Lulu can stare with the best of them. But she stares with a passion and a fury, a lust for life. With an intensity that could bring a grown man to his knees.
And a couple of times, I see her come out to play. And it has me laughing so damn hard, I nearly piss my pants.
She introduces me to everyone she talks to. Most of them graciously ignore me. But a few of them decide to test me. They need to make sure my bank account has a certain number of zeros at the end of it before they’ll extend their pleasantries.
Like the man who asks what year I graduated from North and Camden Academy. She promptly informs him I am a graduate of East County. When his mouth opens in surprise, Lulu jumps in—not Ella, but Lulu. “That high school proved to be very beneficial. Learning how to handle a firearm for self-defense is really a life skill we should all have.” She walks away before he can even process a retort.
Or like the woman who asks what university I’m attending. Lulu quickly tells her that I am about to graduate from the community college. When the lady begins to stutter over her insincere congratulations, Lulu—not Ella—pipes in. “Who needs a four-year degree nowadays, anyway. Everyone knows that $100 on the Internet will buy you fake transcripts from any Ivy League.” She leans in close, sharing her secrets with the woman. “Just ask the governor.”
Or my personal favorite, the classmate of Lulu’s who asks where I work. When Lulu says I’m a mechanic, the girl turns beet red, looking apologetic. You can tell she thinks manual labor is something beneath her, like all the hard work of the world is magically done by invisible little elves and not real people—hard-working people with hopes, dreams, and families. Lulu touches her arm in sympathy. “Oh, but don’t worry. We have really high hopes that the position at the plumbing company will open up. Everyone knows septic tanks are where the real money is. You get high bonuses once you pump a certain amount of feces.”
All in all, it’s going as well as can be expected. That is until I see Vanessa. Well, I think her name is Vanessa. Names weren’t exactly at the top of my list when I was doing her from behind.
I told you I was an asshole.
We met at a bar last fall, when I went out with a couple of people from my computer science class after the mid-term exam. Vanessa was one of the bartenders on duty. She definitely wasn’t drunk, so that made her fair game. And when she told me that her apartment was right behind the bar and that she wanted to have a night cap when she got off work, I eagerly agreed.
And now here she is. Standing behind a makeshift bar, serving vodka and cranberry juices to stuck-up rich people.
Coming from the restroom, I’m making my way over to Lulu, who happens to be standing one person back from the front of the bar line, when my eyes lock with my former one-night stand.
Fortunately, Lulu’s not paying attention to the fuck-me smile plastered across Vanessa’s face when she takes her position at the bar. “May I have an orange juice, please. Virgin. No champagne.” Her head is bent and she’s fiddling with the bracelet on her wrist. I’m turning to make my quick getaway when she notices me. “Ry, can you help me?”
Kill me now.
What choice do I have? My girl called to me. I tuck my tail between my legs and head to face my doom. “Yeah?”
“This bracelet came undone. Would you mind?”
Damn jewelry. Of course, the lock is intricate, and my fingers fumble over it several times before I can get it latched. This has taken too much time. And we all know I’m not lucky enough to get out of this situation unscathed.
“Hi.” Vanessa’s chipper voice rings in my ears.
I clear my throat. “Hi.”
Distracted and staring at me the whole time, Vanessa hands the orange juice to Lulu. Not paying any sort of attention whatsoever, she splatters some of the juice across Lulu’s hand. Never one to miss a beat, Lulu darts her eyes between the two of us. Thinking this is just some random girl trying to hit on me, she rolls her eyes and sighs. Normally I love jealous Lulu. It’s still funny. Makes me laugh every time she does it.
Except this time.
This time it isn’t so funny.
“Crutch, right?”
Lulu’s head snaps in her direction. I mumble yes under my breath.
Vanessa makes a dramatic show of handing me a beer bottle and brushing her fingers against mine during the handoff. “And if I remember correctly, beer is your drink of choice, right?”
I turn the bottle around in my hand, studying the label like it holds a mysterious portal. A portal I can crawl right through and vanish from this deathtrap. “Thanks.”
Putting her juice down on the bar table, Lulu reaches for a napkin to wipe her hand. The person behind her filters to the side, getting assistance from the other bar maid. Folding her hands across her chest, she stares at me with that same passion and fury that I liked just an hour ago. “Care to introduce me to your friend?”
I drink half my beer in one swallow. “Sure. Ella, this is… Vanessa.”
Vanessa scowls. “Clarissa.”
Oh, shit. Yep. Her name is Clarissa.
Lulu holds out her hand. “Clarissa, nice to meet you. I can only assume that you know Crutch in the same way that I know Crutch. Is that a safe assumption?”
The two of them study one another, sharing some kind of women’s intuition. Damn witchcraft, if you ask me.
Clarissa purses her lips. “It appears so.”
“Well, let me give the two of you some time to catch up. It must be nice to run into old friends.” I reach out, trying to grab her, but the little minx is quick when she’s angry.
“How could you forget my name?”
“I’m really sorry, Clarissa. I am. I was an asshole that night.” Eagerly, I try to pinpoint Lulu’s tall frame shuffling through the crowd of people.
I turn back to Clarissa. Say something. Hurry. I need to go after her.
Seeing the anxiety of my face and realizing that Lulu and I must be an item, she nods. “It’s fine. You can go.”
“Thank you. Again, I’m sorry.”
Well, it seems like Clarissa is a much better person than me. Spying Lulu on the other side of the staircase, I watch as she speed-walks down the part of the hall I haven’t ventured to yet. I jog through the crowd of people, trying to catch up to her.
I’m caught off guard when Kristie grabs my upper arm. “Is everything okay. Is Ella upset?”
I shake her off. “Everything is fine.”
When I turn around, my eyes land on Hudson. He’s standing next to the piano player talking with some of his friends. Asshat is staring at me like I just killed his dog. It takes all my strength not to flip him off as I continue on my mission to find Lulu.
This hallway is long, just like the other with several rooms. Right next to the living room is a huge kitchen. It takes up nearly the whole left side of the house. I pass another bedroom and bathroom on the right and a huge office. Eventually, I’m left with my final two doors. One on the left and one on the right. I open the door to the left, and it’s the garage. Don’t think she went in there. Steeling my nerves, I open the door on the right. It’s a home gym.
A state-of-the-art home gym. One whole wall is nothing but mirrors with different weights and yoga stuff sitting in front of it. There’s a big screen TV, a treadmill, a rowing machine, an elliptical machine, and one of those stationary bikes that’s more expensive than most people’s cars. And let’s not forget about the tanning both in the corner. Lulu is standing with her back to me. In front of her is a small fridge. She’s drinking a bottle of water and rubbing the scar on the back of her neck.
I don’t know what to say, so I don’t say anything at all. I just close the door to the room and walk closer to her. She places the water bottle on top of the fridge, but she doesn’t turn around to face me.
This can’t be good. If she can’t even stand to look at me right now, this most definitely can’t be good.
“Your body has been inside of her body, hasn’t it?”
I really don’t like those words. Those words should be saved for Lulu. They’re too intimate. Too personal. I wish she just asked me if we had sex. The word sex I can handle. I’m an adult. It happens. It’s non-committal.
“Yes, but it was just sex.”
“But isn’t that what sex is? Your hard dick being placed inside of her open and wanting body?”
I’m dying. I can’t even answer that.
“I wasn’t lying when I said the thought of you being with someone else makes me wanna throw up,” she says.
I need something to drink. Skirting around her, I grab the open bottle of water and down the rest of it. She spins away to avoid looking at me, but her plan doesn’t work so well because now she’s facing the mirrored wall, and her reflection is staring right back at me.
“You won’t ever have to worry about picturing me with some other guy. There’s no worry about bumping into some guy at the store who has seen the parts of me that you have, who has touched me the way that you have. Does that make you happy?”
There’s no point in lying. So, I’m honest. Brutally honest. “Hell, yeah, it makes me happy. I mean, I wouldn’t think less of you if I hadn’t been the guy to give you all of these firsts, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it makes me feel pretty damn special. I’m not as strong as you. I wouldn’t be able to stand here and picture you with some other guy’s mouth on you. Some other guy’s hands on you.” I grab her waist from behind and it makes her flinch. “Some other guy’s cock inside of you. I would flip my shit. Not on you. On him. I would beat him until he was paralyzed from the pain. But that has nothing to do with what I feel about you or that I would think less of you. It’s because I’m selfish. I refuse to share you with anyone.”
“Now you know how I feel.”
Kill. Me. Now.
“That girl did nothing wrong. And yet I want to claw her eyes out. Pull her hair out by the root. Scream at her for having something that’s supposed to be saved for me. And me only.”
“I’m sorry.”
“How can you be sorry for something that happened before we even met? It’s irrational for me to want an apology.
“But I still want to give it to you.”
She snorts. “Ry, by your own admission, you’ve had sex with a lot of women. We’re bound to run into some of them. I’m surprised it hasn’t happened before now. I refuse to throw a hissy fit every time it happens. And I refuse to be coddled. You need to tell me I’m being stupid. You need to tell me I’m being unreasonable.”
“Not about this you aren’t. I shouldn’t have tried to escape my reality with meaningless sex. But I can’t change that now.” I bury my nose in her hair, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo.
“Meaningless? You didn’t even remember her name. That’s more than just meaningless.”
“I know.”
“Where did you meet? When did you have sex with her?”
I let go of Lulu’s waist and begin to pace around the gym. “I’m definitely not answering those questions for you.”
She squares her shoulders and pins me with narrow eyes. “You most certainly are.”
Fuck me. She’s like a mind-controlling she-devil. “Fine! We met at a bar. Last fall. I went out with some people from class after mid-terms.”
“Did you hit on her, or did she hit on you?”
“She hit on me first. She was the bartender. But I returned the volley pretty hard.”
Lulu bites her lip. “She’s attractive.”
I stop pacing and run my hands over my face. “She is.”
“Hmm.”
“Go ahead and ask me. I know you want to.”
She feigns innocence. “What?”
“Don’t beat around the bush, Lulu. I like you when you get to the point.”
She growls. “Is she prettier than me?”
“No one is prettier than you.”
She scoffs, not believing my answer, but it’s the truth. I swear on all that’s holy, it’s the complete and utter truth.
“What kind of sex did you have with her? What position?”
“Are you damn crazy, woman!” I throw my hands up in the air. “Why do you think I would remember that if I didn’t even remember her name?”
She crosses the distance between us and pokes my chest with her finger. “You may not remember her name, Ry, but you can’t tell me you don’t remember that.” She tilts her head, mocking me. “Think. Think real hard.”
I lean forward, grazing my lips against hers. She doesn’t move away. I’ll take every small victory I can get at this point. “We went to her apartment, and I took her from behind. We didn’t even kiss.”
That makes her jump back. I took it too far. Why did I tell the truth? I should’ve lied. I should’ve lied to My Lulu.
She’s breathing hard. Looking away, she quickly wipes a tear as it chases the curve of her cheek. Nothing in this world feels as bad as this, knowing I’ve made her cry. When Lulu cries it sucks the very soul from my heart. Plus, she told me she hates to cry in front of people, on more than one occasion.
Stiffening her spine and tipping that cute little chin up in the air, she takes a step closer to me. “And one day soon you’ll take me like that. And our bodies will wipe all those memories from the face of the earth.”
Sweeter words have never been spoken.
I reach out to her, pulling her body against mine. My whisper is raspy, filled with emotion. “Lulu.”
Hugging me close, she grabs my hand and skims it across the skin of her inner thigh. Up. Up. Up. My heart drums in my chest.
Holy shit. “Lulu, where are your panties?”
“A deal’s a deal.”
I run my fingers through her wet folds, plunging two fingers deep inside. The two fingers that she’s grown to love. She moans, letting me know she’s ready to be kissed.
But she doesn’t let me kiss her. She pulls her head away.
Tugging my hand from her crotch, she guides my fingers to my face where she wipes her juices all over my cheeks and chin.
It’s a struggle to even form a cohesive string of syllables. “What are you doing?”
“Marking my territory. There’s a whole world of Clarissa’s out there. And they need to know what’s mine.”
She walks away, leaving me stunned and fully erect.
Pausing at the door, she asks me one final question. “Tell me something. Something no one else knows.”
I sigh. “You already marked me. The very second we met.”