59. Jenny
JENNY
Audrey and I had a late lunch and sat in the hot tub. We talked about the wedding—I was glad we had something important to discuss. I could pretend to care. I did care, but my mind was buzzing with all the very bad things I was dealing with. Thank goodness we needed to discuss signature cocktails and appetizers! It was so much better than blackmail and adolescent trauma.
James and Cole returned from their fly-fishing trip. They didn’t catch any fish, but both said the outing was relaxing and they’d had a great time. Cole’s cheeks were rosy from spending the day outdoors, his thick hair tousled by the wind. When he kissed me hello, I inhaled his familiar scent, mixed with the smell of the Wyoming outdoors, and I almost died from happiness.
Then I remembered what I had to do and everything his father had said. And I remembered that it wasn’t safe for me to be happy.
Still, I played my part. I smiled. I chatted. I gave the performance of a lifetime, that of the happy girlfriend having a great time on vacation—a girl without a care in the world. Drinks and appetizers were followed by more drinks and time in the hot tub. The stars spread out above us, winking beyond the mountains. Cole kept his arm around me the whole night. He nuzzled my neck, burying his face there, making me feel things I shouldn’t be feeling.
I knew what I had to do, and I was dreading it. So I sat there with my friends and Cole, laughing and drinking, staring at the stars, and being nuzzled. But inside, I was dying.
Lewis Bryson had trapped me. I felt squeezed like he was cutting off my oxygen. If I ran, he’d do something to Cole. Maybe that was a bluff; I wasn’t sure. But I wasn’t willing to risk it. I refused to be the source of any more pain for the man I loved. Cole was supposed to be just another job. Another John. I didn’t mean to fall in love with him, and I never dreamed he’d fall for me. But what we had was real, and now that he’d become so dear to me, I could never do anything to hurt him.
Except I was going to hurt him because I was going to do what his father asked. I felt doomed like I was walking a billionaire’s plank.
So, although I was smiling outside, inside, there was an ugly loop playing over and over. If I didn’t do what Cole’s father asked, he’d bring back my auntie Theresa. He’d have me prosecuted for what I did all those years ago. He’d make me face something I’d put away long ago—something I’d been running from ever since. Cole would find out the truth about me and never look at me the same. I was damned if I did, damned if I didn’t.
The thing was, I already knew that I’d been damned all along.
Our little party broke up. James and Audrey wrapped their arms around each other and headed to their suite; we headed to ours. I half-hoped that Cole would be too tired to make love after a long day of fly-fishing, but that was not the case.
As soon as we’d locked the door, he stripped us both out of our clothes. His dark eyes grazed me up and down. “You’re so gorgeous, babe. I couldn’t wait to be alone with you. I hated being away from you all day.”
Warmth bloomed inside of me, but the darkness chased it.
He started to stroke himself. “Get on your knees, babe. Now . I’ve been thinking about this all damn day.”
Mesmerized, I did as I was told. I immediately lowered myself onto my knees. I was directly in front of Cole, eye level with his luscious cock. I couldn’t deny the truth; I wanted him. I craved him.
And who knew if this would be the last time we were together? It was coming, that was for sure. So, I put my dark feelings aside and vowed to stay present with him. I would lose myself and enjoy the pleasure, even though it was chasing some serious, raw pain.
“Good girl.” He fisted his cock, stroking it up and down. The tip was wet, and he pointed it at me. I greedily licked the moisture from his tip, and he grunted. When I popped the head into my mouth and sucked on it, he threw his head back. Little by little, I took more of him in my mouth. He tastedso fucking good. Having control over him and giving him pleasure was such a turn-on.
Cole started to thrust gently at first. “ Fuck , that’s good. That’s what I want—what I need.” I stroked his balls, which were heavy with seed, as I took him all the way in. My tongue explored his thick, hard length. I dug my fingertips into his muscled ass and pulled him deeper, sucking hard.
He pulsed into my mouth, totally letting go, totally into it, groaning and throwing his head back. Cole was uninhibited as he fucked my mouth. “Fuck, Jenny. You don’t know what you do to me, babe.” His thrusts got a little ragged, and I had to take control. I guided him in and out, taking him deep and releasing him. I licked the lush crown of his head and sucked on it, then took him down his shaft again. He cursed as his ass pumped, the cords standing out in his neck. “Yes, Jenny. Fucking yes .”
I sucked harder, and I could tell that he was close. I wrapped my fingers around his base, stroking, and chased them with my mouth, doubling the sensation. His eyes were closed, mouth slack in ecstasy, as he drove for home. I cradled his balls with my hands, and they contracted; I squeezed more, and he thrust into my mouth, cursing.
“Fuck, Jenny—yes, yes !” Cole gripped my shoulders and came hard, emptying himself into me. I greedily sucked down every drop as he continued to thrust. The orgasm rocked through him, his body shuddering in absolute pleasure. I licked him and sucked him, greedy, unable to get enough. Finally, the orgasm subsided. Cole pulled me up and cradled me against his chest. “That was incredible.”
“You’re telling me.” I clung to him, his enormous muscles rippling beneath my palms.
“I want… more. I want you .” He started to stir against me, already getting hard again. He trailed his enormous fingertips down my side and in between my legs. He brushed the wetness there and chuckled. “I knew it—you’re wet for me. You need me, too.”
“Of course I do.” I needed him more than I cared to admit. Cole turned me around so I was facing the bed, and he urged me forward so I was leaning over it. He put his knee between my legs, urging them apart. His hand crept between them, and he started to explore, to rub me. Fuck. He knew exactly where to touch me. He trailed hot kisses down my back, ending at my ass. He was everywhere, all at once, and I was suddenly a hot mess, moaning and rubbing up against him, begging him. I hadn’t wanted to get physical, but now I felt like I was going to die if he didn’t take me. “Fuck me, Cole, please .”
He pressed my back down so my ass was in the air. I felt his thick, rock-hard cock press up against me.
“Are you ready?” His voice was strangled.
“Yes.”
He buried his cock in me. Oh, fuck. I’d never felt him this deep. My eyes rolled back into my head as he thrust, stroking the part of me deep inside that only he could reach. He gripped my hips as he relentlessly buried himself in me, driving deep. I saw stars.
He kept up a relentless pace. I forgot everything that had happened that day, except for right now. Nothing else mattered. With Cole, I was dying and being reborn. Fuck me. Punish me. Own me. Only he could take away the pain. Only he could be my everything. His hand found my clit, circling it as he drove into me. The combination of sensations pushed me over the edge. “Cole! Oh my God, Cole !”
“That’s right.” He pumped into me while his fingers made my clit throb. “Say my fucking name.”
“Cole, Cole, Cole!” I came so hard that everything went black. Cole kept thrusting, kept owning my clit, kept fucking me through my earth-shattering orgasm. Then it was his turn. He grasped my hips and drove deep again. He exploded inside of me, filling me up, gripping my hips as he emptied himself inside of me.
Once he was finished, he pulled out, whipped me around, and slid me up on the bed.
He buried his face between my legs, taking my sore, tender bud into his mouth. “Cole, wait… Oh my God,” I whimpered. It was too much. I was so raw, throbbing with desire, having been thoroughly filled by him. But he wouldn’t rest—he wasn’t done. I knew what he wanted, and I knew he would take it from me.
He relentlessly sucked on my clit, inserting his fingers into me and fucking me senseless. I gave myself over to him. He wouldn’t stop until he got what he wanted. He lapped at my clit, suckled it, nipped it with his teeth, and continued to penetrate me. I saw stars again. The whole room went dim as the most intense orgasm of my life built inside me. It was a mixture of pleasure and pain. It was inevitable. Cole didn’t stop his pursuit of my orgasm, and once it started to rip through me, he laughed darkly. “Come for me. That’s right, babe. Come all over my face.”
He continued to lap at me until I couldn’t take it anymore. I was flying, screaming his name, the release so overwhelming that I shook out of control. I orgasmed, squirting, and I heard him mutter fuck yes as he relished it. I didn’t even know Icouldcome that hard. I didn’t know my body was capable of it.
But then again, I’d never been in love before.
I came again, screaming his name.
By the time we were done, we were both exhausted and shaking. Cole pulled me against him, fixing our blankets and holding me close. I felt cared for, loved… and seen. But all these big feelings were only going to get me into trouble, and I knew it. At that moment, I was helpless against them. Having Cole hold me in his arms was the only thing I could do.
Our sex had been driving, fierce, and passionate. There had been an edge of desperation to it, at least on my part. I wanted to blurt out that his father was blackmailing me and that if I didn’t do what he said, we were both going to pay. But I couldn’t do it. I shut my eyes tight, real tight, and pretended that I wasn’t even there.
That made me feel ashamed. I was ashamed of hiding from Cole when he was right next to me when we’d just been intimate, ashamed of who I was and what I’d done. And afterward, when Cole and I lay together with his arms wrapped around me, my head on his chest, I felt the most shame of all.
“I love you,” he said.
“I love you, too,” I answered. And I did. I loved him so much.
I loved him so much that I would ruin us both to protect him.