Chapter 8 No More Distance #2
He could open the door without handing over the key.
Gideon looked at him.
“Touch me.”
Nico didn’t move.
“Where?”
Gideon hesitated.
He reached for the hem of his shirt.
Then stopped.
His scars were usually covered.
That had become automatic.
Shirt on.
Jacket on.
Anything that kept curious eyes away.
Anything that prevented questions.
But Nico had already seen them.
The difference was that Gideon had never let anyone see them because he wanted them to.
He slowly lifted his shirt enough to expose the scarred skin along his side.
Nico’s eyes moved there.
There was no shock.
No pity.
Only attention.
Gideon’s breathing became uneven.
“Is this okay?” Nico asked.
“Yes.”
Nico raised his hand.
He paused before making contact.
Gideon nodded.
Nico’s fingertips touched the edge of one scar.
The sensation was strange.
Some areas were more sensitive than others. Some felt almost numb. Others responded with a sharp awareness that made Gideon’s shoulders tighten.
Nico noticed.
“Too much?”
Gideon shook his head.
“No. Just different.”
“I know.”
Nico’s touch remained light.
He didn’t trace the entire scar.
He didn’t examine it like a wound.
He touched it as though it were simply part of Gideon’s skin.
That difference mattered.
Gideon looked down at Nico’s hand.
“Most people stare.”
“I know.”
“You don’t.”
“I’ve looked at scars before.”
“Not like these.”
Nico looked up.
“Every scar is different.”
Gideon swallowed.
“You really don’t think they’re ugly?”
Nico’s answer came immediately.
“No.”
Gideon looked away.
“I do.”
“I know.”
“I’ve hated them.”
Nico’s fingers rested against the scar.
“You don’t have to love them.”
Gideon looked back at him.
“But?”
“But you don’t have to hate the body that carried you through them either.”
Gideon had no response.
Nico moved his hand slightly.
“Do you want me to stop?”
Gideon considered the question.
A year ago, he would have said yes before thinking.
Even a month ago, he might have stepped away.
Now he looked at Nico’s hand against his skin and realized something had changed.
“No.”
Nico nodded.
“Then I won’t.”
Gideon exhaled.
The simple answer affected him more than it should have.
Nico wasn’t taking permission for granted.
He wasn’t assuming that because Gideon had said yes once, the answer would always be yes.
Every moment remained a choice.
Nico slowly moved his fingertips across another scar.
Gideon’s eyes closed.
The touch was gentle.
There was no urgency.
No attempt to erase what was there.
Nico was simply acknowledging it.
Gideon’s shoulders lowered.
He hadn’t realized how tightly he had been holding them.
“You’re relaxing,” Nico whispered.
“Don’t sound so surprised.”
“I am.”
Gideon opened his eyes.
Nico smiled.
“I’ve never seen you this still.”
“Neither have I.”
That made Nico laugh softly.
Gideon smiled.
Then Nico’s expression became serious again.
“Can I kiss it?”
Gideon’s heart stumbled.
He knew exactly what Nico meant.
One of the larger scars ran along the upper edge of his ribs, disappearing beneath his shirt.
Gideon looked down.
Then at Nico.
He could say no.
The realization was immediate.
He could say no and nothing would change.
Nico would respect it.
That certainty made the decision easier.
“Yes.”
Nico leaned closer.
He didn’t rush.
His hand remained resting lightly against Gideon’s side.
Then his lips touched the scar.
The kiss was brief.
Gentle.
Almost reverent.
Gideon’s entire body went still.
For one second, his mind returned to fire.
Heat.
Pain.
Smoke.
Then Nico’s hand moved slightly against his skin, grounding him in the present.
Gideon opened his eyes.
Nico was still there.
The studio was still there.
There was no alarm.
No collapse.
No screaming.
Only Nico.
And Gideon didn’t move away.
He could feel emotion rising unexpectedly in his chest.
He had spent years believing the scars were evidence of everything that had been taken from him.
His strength.
His certainty.
His old life.
His sense of safety.
Now someone was touching those same scars without treating them like damage.
Nico kissed the edge of the scar once more.
Gideon’s hand found the back of his neck.
He held him there.
Not because he was afraid Nico would leave.
Because he wanted him closer.
That realization nearly overwhelmed him.
Nico lifted his head.
Their eyes met.
“Still okay?”
Gideon nodded.
“More than okay.”
Nico smiled.
Gideon touched his face.
“Do it again.”
Nico’s expression softened.
He leaned forward and kissed the scar again.
This time, Gideon closed his eyes.
He let himself feel it.
He let himself want it.
There was no tolerance in the moment.
No endurance.
No silent calculation about how long he could stand the contact.
He wanted Nico’s hand there.
He wanted his mouth there.
He wanted the tenderness.
That was the breakthrough.
Gideon had spent years learning how to endure touch.
Now he was learning how to ask for it.
When Nico pulled back, Gideon kept his hand around his neck.
“I didn’t think I would ever want someone to touch them.”
Nico’s thumb moved gently along Gideon’s jaw.
“Maybe you weren’t ready.”
“Maybe.”
Gideon looked at him.
“I think I was waiting for someone who wouldn’t make me feel like they were touching the damage.”
Nico’s expression changed.
“What does it feel like now?”
Gideon looked down at the scar beneath his shirt.
“Like you’re touching me.”
Nico smiled.
“Good.”
Gideon pulled him closer.
Their foreheads touched.
“I don’t want you to think you have to be careful every second.”
Nico smiled.
“I’ll always be careful.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re worth respecting.”
Gideon’s throat tightened.
He kissed Nico’s forehead.
Then his cheek.
Then his mouth.
The kiss was soft and unhurried.
Gideon initiated it.
He wanted that to be clear.
He wanted Nico to know that this wasn’t something he was simply allowing.
When they separated, Gideon stayed close.
For once, he didn’t feel exposed.
He felt seen.
There was a difference.
Nico had not made his scars disappear.
He hadn’t told Gideon they didn’t matter.
He hadn’t pretended the past hadn’t happened.
He had simply touched the part of Gideon that Gideon had spent years hiding and treated it as belonging to the same man standing in front of him.
Gideon breathed slowly.
“I think that’s what scares me.”
“What?”
“That I actually want this.”
Nico’s hand remained against his side.
“Wanting isn’t a weakness.”
“I know.”
“Doesn’t feel that way?”
“No.”
Gideon looked at him.
“It feels like giving someone a weapon.”
Nico shook his head.
“Then don’t give me one.”
Gideon frowned.
“Keep your choices.”
Nico’s voice was gentle.
“Keep your boundaries. Keep your right to say no. Wanting me doesn’t mean you lose any of that.”
Gideon stared at him.
Then he nodded.
He understood.
The control he had been protecting wasn’t the absence of intimacy.
It was the freedom to choose it.
Gideon rested his hand over Nico’s.
“Stay.”
Nico smiled.
“I wasn’t planning to leave.”
Gideon pulled him closer.
This time, he didn’t think about the fire.
He didn’t think about Marcus.
He didn’t think about what might happen tomorrow.
He simply held the man he wanted.
And for the first time since the warehouse burned, Gideon understood that being touched did not always mean being powerless.
Sometimes it meant being trusted enough to choose.
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