15. Jax
15
JAX
T he storm surging through my mind is a blizzard of emotions that nearly send me stumbling into Fate’s watercolor pool. I grip its ledge as she catches my arm. Her rainbow gaze scrutinizes me, and she makes no effort to let go of my shoulders. Not until I’ve caught my breath and tilted myself upright.
Though it feels like yesterday, it’s been almost a year since I learned of my mate. That reality is unsettling. I bartered our immortal future so she could have a mortal one. Yet, as I brush my palm over my mate mark, I feel her pulse fluttering there and I’m struck with a fierce sense of pride. Nothing has brought me greater joy.
I chuckle, the sound echoing off the walls of Fate’s den, shaking the strands of flowers and leaves dangling from the ceiling. The sharp truth of what I set in motion should break me, but I won’t let it. Just as swiftly as the realization hits me, another one does: our bond remains . I’ve been able to find her even without my memories because I’ll always find her. In any life. In any form.
For she is mine and I am hers.
I just have to find a way for her to see me.
“I know we’re an anomaly but there has to be a way forward for us.” It’s not a question. It’s a demand.
“You chose to keep her earthside.” Her voice is full of pity and devoid of the hope I desperately clutch within me.
“That was no choice,” I say, gritting my teeth.
Jolie’s limp body still in my arms.
Blood trailing across the snow.
Bits of crumbled rock floating away on the wind.
“No respectable mate would choose to let our other half die .”
I’ll never unsee the light leaving her eyes, unfeel the panic rioting through her pulse before it hushed within our chests. Any harbinger who’d willingly watch their mate’s death and do nothing to stop it wasn’t worthy of the tether they’d been blessed with.
“You weren’t supposed to find her first, Jax.”
“Well, I did.”
“She is on borrowed time.”
My body stiffens. “What does that mean?”
“She’s going to die, Jax.” Fate’s voice is soft despite her harsh words, and she places a streaked hand on my shoulder. “No mortal escapes death. Eventually, her destiny will play out, and I can no longer guarantee her immortality.” It’s not an answer, but she presses her lips in a firm line, silently telling me that’s all she’s willing to offer.
“I will find a way to her,” I growl. “She’s mine. ”
“Maybe so,” she hesitates, weighing her words carefully, “but you cannot change what you both are.”
“I know that,” I grit out, “but if you know a way I can reach her, a way she could see me, could talk to me… Please .” I’m begging here. Hell, I could be banished for the rest of this winter just for asking because there’s no way to reach her without breaking the cardinal rule of interfering .
But I think we both know, even if it’s left unspoken, that I will always interfere when it comes to Jolie.
“I don’t have any definitive answers, Jax. Nothing like this has ever happened in our history.” She stands and strides toward the scale, fingers trailing delicately over the colorful stones. “We don’t interfere with mortals because it upsets the balance. The natural order…” Her gaze narrows and she bites her lip. “Perhaps…”
“Perhaps what?” I stand and move toward her, inspecting the stones, large and small, sitting atop each surface of the scale. Every perfectly balanced bauble in its place. Dropping to my knees in supplication, I stare up at Fate, gripping her paint-streaked hands in mine. “Please. I’m begging you. I will do my best to maintain balance, but there has to be something I can do. Some way she can see me.”
She sighs languidly, cupping my cheek. “In uncharted waters there are always ripples, Jax Frost. But I wish to help you.”
“Then help me. Tell me what to do.”
She flicks her wrist, and a small cerulean stone the size of a marble appears between her fingers. “Mortals are not able to view our true forms, not because it is not allowed, but because their minds are tethered to the physical plane of their world.”
“Meaning?”
“If your mate believes in your existence, she will be able to see you. To touch you. In this form.” Just the idea of that sends a shiver down my spine. Fate cradles my chin and gives me a small smile. “You weren’t the first to be seen by a mortal.”
“Who was the first?” I ask.
“That should be obvious,” Fate says dismissively, flitting back toward the pool and tossing the tiny bauble in. “The only other who’s been seen by mortals is the very being they’ve spun into myth. The first ever Albidus. Our very own Jack Frost.”
“So I just need to get her to believe in me?”
“You make that sound so simple. You know better than to think it will be easy. Mortal hearts are not quick to sway. I do not envy what is ahead for you, Jax,” Fate says, dismissing me. With a wave of her hand, my skates glide me back up to Nivea.
If her words are meant to be a warning, that’s not how I interpret them. If Jack Frost did it, then so can I. I’ve been working toward becoming the youngest Lead Albidus since his reign, after all.
I have one final stop—to visit my fathers as promised—before I return earthside. The idea of Jolie seeing me, hearing me, touching me, gives me all the encouragement I need. Pushing my skates into the ice, I speed as fast as my feet will carry me, renewed with a singular focus.
First, I’ll help her believe.
Then, I’ll make her mine.