Chapter 14
What Stirs Within
ANNA
Ithought about what Blake said. That Nightfall was dangerous—a fact that had been presented but not detailed in the macabre reality that it was. And the other part—that he’d keep me safe.
I hadn’t just heard him say the words; I’d felt him mean them.
But then he just left. I didn’t understand him, this play—none of it—and it was really getting on my nerves.
For the next few weeks, I heeded both of Blake’s warnings and kept to myself.
This place had always felt eerie, but now, a layer of somberness weighed down on me as I walked the halls.
Cody and Skylar gave their lives to learn the secrets Nightfall promised.
Cody wanted a fresh start. A life away from the desperate and terrible conditions he grew up in.
Nightfall was a way to escape that for him.
It wasn’t fair.
Skylar had never shared much of her life with me. She was quiet and timid, but it was clear she had an underlying ambition—one I’d never understand.
The lure that was Nightfall had been their downfall, as it had been Annabelle’s. Had the same fate befallen her?
I stayed buried in my coursework, relentlessly going over this strange language with Isabella, and training to the point of exhaustion every day with Caelan. It wasn’t until one of my meditation courses that I heard Ezreal’s name spoken again.
“Are you serious?” one of the older Initiates asked. She was friends with Reece. Sophie? Sonya? She was always rude and touting her seniority. I ignored her most of the time.
Reece smirked and glanced at me, sitting on the mat, her torso leaning forward with her arms reaching for her toes as she stretched.
The other girl peered over too, her eyes wide and her lips twitched upward in a smirk.
“What?” I asked, glaring at Reece.
She sat up, taking her time and stretching her arm behind her back.
“I’m surprised you haven’t heard yet,” she taunted.
Isabella cast a warning look my way.
“Everyone knows you’re sleeping with the Adept’s Raicanya instructor,” she drawled.
I recoiled, chest locked as I stared in silent shock.
“I most definitely am not!” I finally spat. “Where did you hear that?”
Mischief claimed her countenance.
“Heard it in the Catacombs last weekend. Everyone was talking about it. Apparently, Commander Everson saw you with him in the middle of the night,” she said.
Thinking of seeing Ezreal in the Aurkai’s meeting room made me freeze. It was Blake who’d seen me, and he wouldn’t tell anyone. What the hell? How did anyone know?
Had Everson seen what happened that night?
Reece grinned.
“Damn, Anna, way to be obvious about it,” she said, shaking her head. “Honestly, it’s pretty bold. Just own it.”
I spluttered, trying to get words out, but I couldn’t. Reece got up, taking her stuff. She glanced at me.
“Let me know when you’re done with him, got it? Easy way to get ahead in his class when we get to Adept,” she said, winking and heading out of the room.
I stared at the empty space where she had passed through the door.
“That was unexpected,” Isabella said.
I glanced at her. “It’s not true.”
“Of course,” Isabella said, nodding quickly in support. “I wonder who’d start a rumor like that.”
I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.
Reece had been hanging around Melanie a lot lately, and it was showing.
But I had an odd feeling that she was telling the truth about Kalmont sleeping with a student. It was the first and probably last time she’d pay me a compliment.
I groaned.
“It’s a rumor; it’ll go away, Anna,” Isabella said. “Next week, something else will get their attention, and it’ll be forgotten. Besides, he is pretty hot.”
I glared.
Isabella giggled and shrugged innocently.
I hoped she was right.
The next week I was heading down the east corridor for my Aurkai training session when I neared the hall that Everson’s quarters were in.
My patience snapped as I thought about him, and I took a sharp turn. Everson was going to answer for this ridiculous rumor. It was fine if he didn’t like me for no valid reason whatsoever, but spreading bullshit rumors like this? No.
When I approached the door to his office, I heard voices. I stopped abruptly, alarm quelling my anger like a suffocated blaze.
A loud bang startled me, and I held my breath. What was going on in there?
Low, angry voices were setting off sirens in my head. They were speaking Valyrian, and I couldn’t understand a word of it. Briefly, I shifted, trying to see who it was.
Inside, against the wall, was Everson, glaring defiantly at Malakai, who had his hand at his throat. Malakai looked dangerous. Though smaller than Everson, he was in control, threatening Everson in snarling Valyrian.
I wished I could understand what they were saying. Malakai released Everson, and my heart jumped as I silently rushed down the hall.
I ran through scenario after scenario of what they could be fighting about, and there were hundreds. They were both pricks, so it made sense they wouldn’t get along. Everson must’ve stepped on the wrong Aurkai’s toes.
I paused, arriving at the location of my training session.
Trying to shake the alarm of what I’d seen, I pushed the door open.
Inside was one of the most luxurious rooms I’d seen in the castle yet.
Flames danced in the massive stone hearth at the center of the room.
They called it the Pegasus Room, and now I understood why.
I was drawn to the painting above the mantle—a sprawling landscape of rolling green hills fading into beach and a vast ocean.
Soaring through the sky was a pegasus, its wings stretched wide, light rippling across it like molten gold.
The details were vivid, impossibly real, and I half-expected to hear the beat of its wings or the distant crash of waves.
Chairs and sofas upholstered in rich blue fabrics with golden accents invited me in.
The fire crackled louder, and the air shifted.
He sat in the corner armchair, a leather-bound book in his hands. He closed it and set it on the side table, rising to his feet.
“Anna,” Caelan said. “Please, come in.”
I sank into one of the plush armchairs and glanced around at the formal setting, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.
“Why did you want to meet here instead of the training hall?” I asked.
“I wanted to discuss something with you,” he said. “We have been training a lot, and I wonder—do you feel that you are still progressing?”
I opened my mouth but faltered. Progressing? Lately, our sessions had been fairly redundant. We sparred, he’d try a different move, I’d figure it out and overcome it the next time. I supposed I was—but it did feel redundant.
“I don’t know,” I said. “To truly master the art, I need to be able to respond and anticipate moves that I’ve never seen before, and that has been challenging.”
He nodded.
“Something is holding you back,” he said.
I raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”
“I believe that you could progress far more quickly than you are, but something is preventing that.”
“Like what?” I asked.
He set his glass down on the coffee table between us.
“Your past is no secret to us,” he said.
My hands and cheeks tingled despite the warm temperature.
“Trauma cripples us in ways we don’t realize,” he said.
I swallowed. “I’ve been through therapy. I’ve already done all I can.”
The silence made my pulse quicken.
“All you could do out there,” he said. “Nightfall has other options.”
I slowly returned my gaze to his. “Like what?”
He watched me intently, laser-focused on my reaction.
“Special remedies that will help you process it, remember it more clearly, understand it,” he said.
I chuckled hesitantly. “What, do you guys have world-class chemists working here?”
“Something like that,” Caelan said, a slight smirk tugging at his lips.
Oh god, they were drug dealers.
I took a deep breath and looked at the fire.
I’d crossed the term “micro-dosing” once in my search for a solution to my hallucinations. Perhaps they were trying this out.
“Why do you care if I progress in Raicanya or not?” I asked.
“We care about the progression of anyone who has promise,” he said. “Exploiting the skills of brilliant minds is beneficial to everyone, including that person. That is our goal here. If there is something we can provide you to help you excel, we will offer it.”
And not give it to me without me knowing?
He produced a leather pouch from his pocket and removed a thin glass vial. Reaching out, he held it in his palm, offering it to me.
“It is a serum,” he said. “Made with special ingredients kept hidden within Nightfall for centuries. I think it can help you.”
I stared at the amber liquid in the vial.
“What does it do?” I asked.
“It promotes production of certain enzymes in the brain that access memory and your ability to process it,” he said. “Sometimes the brain can be stuck on something that you cannot remember, and you do not realize how much energy you waste trying to figure out what that is.”
I closed my eyes. What was this, some concoction that induced psychosis? Would it help me recall my lost memories?
“No one desires reliving their worst memories,” Caelan said quietly. “But until we do, we live a half-life.”
I found him watching me, but he was unreadable. Despite what I knew the Aurkai withheld from me about the missing Initiates, I also believed that what he was saying was true. I trusted their intentions; it was their methods that sucked.
“Alright. What do I do?”
Caelan relaxed, a sincere smile spreading across his face.
“Take it before you go to sleep,” he said. “Let me know when you do it. I will check on you.”
I nodded.
“Thanks,” I muttered, slipping the vial in my pocket.
I left without another word.
I walked the torch-lit corridor, my mind numb, and the world far away.
I’d gone to great lengths to purge the memories of that night from my dreams. I’d sat through session after session of therapy, telling every detail I recalled.
Every time they’d say to me I needed more treatment.
Nightfall had been an escape. A way to do something about what happened, instead of sitting there delving into my mind and pulling up useless details.
Or so I thought.
Now I saw it for what it was—a trap.
By chasing the dream of solving my mom’s murder, clearing her name of irreputable affiliations, and finding answers to my missing year, I was running straight toward what I was trying to avoid—facing the possibility that I was what was blocking the memories that might answer these questions.
A sharp whistle sounded. I jerked my head to the side.
My eyes narrowed into slits.
Malakai.
He was leaning against a column, one leg casually bent, his foot resting against the marble. He wore a loose-fitting blazer that was longer than his fitted undershirt, the sleeves rolled to the elbow. A mischievous look spread across his face.
“That stuff is not going to work.”
This guy.
“How do you know?”
“Tried them,” he shrugged.
He pushed off the column and sauntered over to me. I didn’t move, fortifying my mind and presence, determined to stand my ground.
The image of him with Skylar flashed through my mind like an arrow. Another shot sent a pang through my heart, but I held my tongue.
“I’ll take my chances,” I said and started down the corridor again.
“Heard an interesting rumor about you today,” he called after me.
I stopped.
“Knew it was false, though,” he taunted. “Not with such virgin lips.”
My nails cut into my palms as I tried to quell my rising blood pressure.
The soft echoes of his footfalls sounded behind me, the shadows flickering across the floor as if in rhythm with his movement.
“I can fix that,” he murmured, stopping behind me. “Perhaps put an end to these rumors.”
I spun around, my fist ready to connect with his jaw, but he caught it firmly in his hand.
I took heavy, deep gasps as I watched his mischievous smirk deepen.
“I knew it was you,” I uttered. “But how did you know about the Aurkai room?”
He chuckled, and his smirk deepened.
“Blake and I are like brothers,” he said innocently. “He tells me everything. You are a dirty little secret, are you not?”
“He wouldn’t,” I murmured.
He chuckled and I freed my fist from his grasp and took a step back.
“You are so innocent and completely ignorant,” he mused.
“Why are you doing this? What do you want?”
His eyes trailed to my lips and downward.
“Women never resist me,” he purred.
I scoffed. “Is that what you told yourself when you tricked Skylar into letting you near her?”
He clicked his tongue and waved his index finger side to side.
“No,” he drawled. “In fact, I thought it was quite honorable of me to take her innocence before she vanished. I mean, if she is dead, then it would be a shame for her to die untouched.”
He reached out, his fingertips grazing my cheek before I smacked his hand away. He pursed his lips and touched his hand in mock pain.
“You’re despicable,” I snarled.
“And you are far too righteous,” he complained. “Meet me tonight—The Raven Room. Midnight. You can see what a real party is like.”
Incredulity twisted my scowl into something designed just for Malakai.
“You would not want those rumors to get more out of hand now, would you?”
Anger cut through my restraint at the barely veiled threat.
I left in a rush, a stream of terrible thoughts invading my mind.
Rage burned long after I got back to my dorm, his taunting words making it impossible to calm down.
I waited for midnight, my resolve to deny him the control he sought fraying by the minute.