Chapter 21 Don’t Say It
Don’t Say It
ANNA
Itook Reece to the hospital wing where the nurses quickly put her on an IV.
Once they determined the blood on my shirt wasn’t mine, they swiftly kicked me out of the ward.
Reece hadn’t said a word to me, like her mind had been switched off.
The nurses weren’t interested in hearing what happened, telling me to go to the northernmost tower and report it to Ezreal Kalmont.
It worked out because that was where I was going anyway.
I headed for the tower, my mind calm and still. I rarely saw the popular Raicanya instructor, and aside from my run-in with him, I’d only seen him a few other times. I thought of how many students would be shocked to learn that I was going to his tower for the first time.
The entire mess had infuriated me. While I still got jabs for being the newest femme fatale of my incoming peers, it had died down as the break and ball neared.
My neck twitched, and Malakai holding that goblet in his hand flashed through my mind.
I refused to look at my shirt, to acknowledge what I’d seen.
What kind of freaks were these people? Could Blake know what they were doing down there?
My heart started racing again, and I climbed the steps to the tower.
And Kalmont. Had there been any truth to what Melanie said? Any at all? Had he known my mom here?
When I reached the landing at the top of the tower, I paused, trying to gather my wits. I wasn’t sure what to say because it sounded ridiculous.
But it didn’t matter.
My friend was in the hospital, and these people thought they were getting away with whatever that was.
As I raised my fist to knock on the large arched door, it opened.
I stared, confused as I looked into the bright green eyes of my dorm-mate.
Silky red curls framed Roslyn’s face, her jaw slack as she quickly withdrew her steps upon seeing me.
“Anna!”
Shock clouded her mind, her lips trembling as she searched for words.
“I came to see Ezreal,” I paused, staring at her lip. “Ros, your lip—it’s bleeding.”
She touched her lip, glancing at her fingertip. A deep red flush came over her cheeks.
“Roslyn?” I asked, dread pooling in my abdomen. “Are you alright?”
She bit her lip, sucking on the wound, and refused to look at me
“I… I’m fine,” she stammered.
Slamming the door behind her, she rushed past me.
“Roslyn, wait!”
But she was gone.
I touched my forehead, the thoughts weaving together in my mind and forming an impossible scenario.
I threw open the door to Kalmont’s tower, storming into the room.
He was there, standing by a tall window, looking out into the dark abyss.
“What do you know about my mom?”
I stood there, my fingernails cutting into my palms and sweat dripping down my forehead.
He didn’t turn.
“You still have not pieced it together then,” he said.
“Pieced what together!” I shouted. “That you freaks are some kind of wanna be vampires? I got that, but honestly, I don’t care unless it has something to do with what happened to my mom!”
He finally faced me, his eyes glassy and dark, so that their true color was masked.
“Don’t say that word,” he said. “We do not use it around here.”
I twisted my face incredulously. What was he talking about? Vamp—
“You are still weak,” he said, cutting through my thoughts sharply. “This renders you incapable of understanding.”
“Weak?” I said. “You think I’m weak?”
A chill gripped me like death itself had taken hold of me, splintering my bones and the thoughts trying to form in my mind.
Ezreal moved like a sentinel across the room, pausing before me, his head turning enough to cast an irritable side-glance my way.
“Try to avoid the dungeons from now on,” he drawled, looking at my blood-stained shirt. “It is a shame to waste such fine wine.”
I looked at my shirt; the red stains were still bright but with a notable difference in thickness. I touched it, lifting my finger to my nose, and breathed in a sickly-sweet aroma that reminded me of black licorice. My skin was still numb from the deep, cold tremors still wracking through my body.
“This w-was blood,” I stammered. “It was blood.”
I stared at the innocuous stains across my shirt.
Ezreal looked away as if I were no longer interesting.
“Malakai likes to play games,” he said. “You should learn to tread more carefully, Initiate.”
Ezreal crossed the room and opened the door, his message clear.
I left the room with no intention of ever returning.
I went straight to Roslyn’s room without knocking. I found her at her desk, staring at the wall, motionless.
“Ezreal was the one who hid Cody’s scroll,” I said.
She didn’t look at me. “I know. Blake told me. That’s why I went there to talk to him about tonight.”
My jaw dropped.
“And? He… hit you?” I asked but saw no sign of the wound on her lip.
She frowned and got up, picking up a book and setting it down in a different spot for no apparent reason.
“I don’t know what’s happening anymore,” she whispered, finally pausing and looking at me.
“I swear to you, I don’t know what’s happening.
We do attempt to conceal any adverse memories of recruits that are sent home or do not make it, but to be losing Initiates like this isn’t normal.
I’m going to find out what’s happening, Anna. ”
I watched her, seeing a darkness I never had before.
“What did he do to you? Kalmont?” I asked.
Roslyn shook her head. “Nothing he hasn’t done before.”
I tried to see Reece the next day, but they told me she was recuperating and wasn’t allowed to have visitors.
Frustrated and restless, I looked for Roslyn, but she was nowhere to be found.
I couldn’t process the events of the night before.
It was like a bizarre dream turned nightmare, the kind you had when you were ill and fever kept you in a constant state of delirium.
Giving up, I headed to Griffin Hall, my body itching to train and purge myself of this restless energy dwelling within me. When I got there, every Initiate at Nightfall was there.
I groaned. I wanted to be in my training area back home, alone with my thoughts.
I left the hall, desperate to get out of the crowd, and found Blake in the corridor.
Words failed me as he approached, a flicker of curiosity on his face.
“Training?” he asked.
I huffed. “I wanted to, but not with every other Initiate in the castle.”
Blake frowned in acknowledgment. “This time of year, close to finals, everyone is in there training. If they wanted to train, they would be out in the cold at the real training grounds.”
A spark of joy burst into flame. “Real training grounds?”
“Yes, there’s an outdoor arena,” he said. “No one is ever there this time of year.”
My boots crunched across the fresh snow.
It was achingly cold, but I didn’t care. It was worth it to have the view and that much space. I exhaled, mist forming in the air from my breath.
The training grounds looked like some medieval ruin that was still fully operational.
Towering stone pillars were placed around the stone-tiled courtyard like chess pieces.
While weathered, they were solid structures, as if they’d been carved from the mountain.
The sun was beginning to set beyond the peaks, making the snowflakes glitter across the red and orange palette across the horizon.
Long shadows were cast beyond the pillars, stretching far beyond what I could see.
“Wow,” I said, stepping and touching one of the pillars. “This place looks like it’s been here a long time.”
“It’s woefully underutilized,” Blake said.
A brisk wind howled across the grounds, and I drew my sword.
“I heard your friend was in the hospital,” he said.
So, he knew.
“I don’t know that friend is the right word,” I muttered.
“She is going to be fine,” he said. “But Malakai has received his final warning. If the situation were not delicate, he would be gone.”
I could feel outrage rising like bile in my throat. I couldn’t take it. The insanity of him being allowed to stay. What rules were these people living by?
“Fight me.”
Blake studied me, his eyes darker than ever. Then, without a word, he drew his sword.
“On one condition,” he said.
The sun’s evening rays were welcomed against my cool skin. “What’s that?”
“We swap weapons.”
Swap weapons? It was an odd request, but not one of any genuine concern. I nodded and followed him as he moved into the courtyard's center.
He passed his sword from one hand to the other so fast I barely saw the exchange.
Tension coiled in my muscles as I thought of the coming exhilaration of battle.
Then, another sensation, this time, something different—my blood was humming again, and it was rapidly intensifying.
It flowed through me in waves, far smoother than during my encounter with Malakai the night before, as if that had activated something within me.
What was this? It was much more intense than a surge of adrenaline.
Thirsty to understand, I inclined my head.
Blake effortlessly arced his sword across the air and I caught it firmly by the hilt.
I tossed mine, which he caught underhanded, flourishing the blade as he did so.
The thrum that was now in the hand with which I’d caught the sword was so intense it was vibrating—no, it was oscillating through his sword and through my hand, extending up my arm.
I drew deep breaths, forcing myself to control it.
I lowered myself into my preferred stance, my right hand grasping his sword and my left hand with my palm forward.
Then, I met his gaze. He waited for me to make the first move.
The clash of our swords was intense. Far more intense than I was prepared for.
Everything around us was vibrating—the sword, my body, and the air around us.
It was as if it were all subject to our manipulation.
When we clashed again, he held me there, forcing me to block his attack in a paralyzed state of holding him off.
“I know you can feel it.”
Right now, all I could feel was my heart pounding in my throat.
“Do you understand now why you are here?” he asked.
Another clash of the blades rang loudly as I held my arms overhead, barely keeping him at bay.
“No,” I said, forcing him back, but he was quick, and his blade was at my throat.
“It’s all around you, isn’t it?” he said, his voice low.
The hum pounded through my veins, and I broke free of his hold, but it was only temporary.
His hand on my wrist forced me to release my sword, and he took me to the ground effortlessly, pinning me beneath him with the weight of his body.
I felt him all around me, completely controlling my every muscle, and even in places where he wasn’t making physical contact.
I didn’t know how to answer him because it wasn’t the intense throbbing in my veins that I noticed, but a heat that was making me lightheaded.
“I feel it, but I don’t understand what it is,” I said between breaths.
The cold blade pressed against my throat, his hands still restraining me as he straddled me in a hold that I had no chance of freeing myself from. His strength was incredible. I’d never been taken down that quickly, except by Derrick.
Derrick’s face flashed through my mind. I’d always hated that feeling.
To be helpless.
Then, the air pressure around me intensified. My breaths were shorter and more labored, and sharp air entered my lungs like they were lined with razor ribbon. What was happening? The sun had nearly set, and the temperature was dropping quickly. There was no one else out here.
We were alone.
And I was entirely at his mercy.
Beware the raven.
“Fear is a normal reaction,” he said, still restraining me. “But you cannot let it keep you from seeking to understand all that is within you. If you do, you’ll always be weak.”
He released me, and without his hold, I started shaking. Alarmed by my total lack of control over my body, I got to my feet and took a few steps back. I could feel his presence as if he still had me in his grasp. His eyes lowered, but his expression gave away nothing.
I was tired of these ambiguous answers. I let the energy rush through me and the flurry of emotions that came with it took over. I ran forward and attempted to shove him back for being so damned confusing, but he grabbed me, spinning me around and holding me tightly against his chest.
“Do you feel it now?” he murmured.
“Feel what?” I snapped.
Blake’s hold tightened.
“What it is to have no control,” he said, the warmth of his breath against my cheek.
My heart jolted me into a placated silence. That was it. Even now, I stood here powerless. In his hold or not, by being in his presence, I knew that whatever energy was flowing within me was not my own. At least not currently. It was his.
He had all the control right now, and he had from our very first interaction.
"Who are you?" I whispered. "Did you leave that note in my room? To warn me away from Malakai or Ezreal?”
Blake released me, and I spun. It was brief, but a spark of curiosity flickered in his eye, enough that I knew it had not been him to leave the parchment in my room.
"Ezreal is not to be trifled with, but he is not wrong. While you are stronger than the other Initiates, you are not strong enough," he said.
I willed my quivering hands to still, but it was only when his presence withdrew that I was able to steady myself.
“Why are you trying to help me?” I asked. “What do you get out of it?”
Blake watched me, the storm drawing ever closer.
“You know I am drawn to you,” he said, his voice low. “I want to see you get what you want.”
I swallowed nervously; my throat was dry.
“And what makes you think you know what I want?” I whispered.
Blake smiled, the faint starlight barely enough to see him by.
“I can feel it—you long to understand your past, who you are, and where you belong,” he said. He picked up my sword and slid it back into the sheath at my back. “I can also feel your desire to quell that which rages within. I understand that feeling more than you know.”
His words landed like anchors on my mind. Was he right? Was that what I was doing here? I thought of Reece in Malakai's lair, helpless as he tossed her aside. Something stirred within me then, entirely of its own will.
It was because of her. My fury at what was happening to her. And my determination to get her out, like I hadn’t with Skylar, or my mom.
I wanted to know if I belonged here, with these people, with Blake.
But the questions surrounding my past left me lost, unsure what was true and what wasn’t. He was right—rage had taken root deep within me. It stirred in my dreams, fell victim to Melanie’s taunts, and succumbed to Malakai’s games.
It had control of me.
It made me weak.
I had to get control of it.
But I was more certain of one thing now than ever—I was in the right place.