Chapter 33 Liars Make the Best Lovers #2
I heard the struggle in his words as his demons plagued his mind, demons that were his own, yet he was letting strangle me.
Why else would he ask that? How was I supposed to explain what was happening between us?
This powerful, overwhelming and intoxicating yearning to be near him—I should be the one asking him why he was doing this to me!
“I don’t know,” I said.
Blake growled in displeasure and leaned in, his lips brushing my ear and jaw. Everything within me was surrendering to him but this streak of restraint in him was consuming me.
I had no idea why this—connection, reaction, synergy, thing—was happening, but I didn’t care anymore. I was tired of ignoring it. Tired of trying to understand it. I wanted to give in. I wanted him to give in.
Instead, he pulled away.
The cold air in his absence stung. He was pacing. Every step that he took made my pulse throb harder.
“Why are you resisting?” I yelled, glaring.
But he wouldn’t look at me.
“You’ve kept me at arm’s length since I met you,” I said. “Warning me away, withdrawing when you never would with someone else. I don’t want you to treat me like this—like I’m special. I’m not. I don’t want a knight in shining armor.”
Blake stopped, his face hidden in shadow.
“I can’t, Anna.”
His voice was low, guttural and unwavering.
The anger slipped away as fast as it came, as if it had been all that was holding me up.
“I don’t understand,” I whispered. “Why do you resist?”
Silence gripped the air, feeding it to the flames and leaving us to choke on the smoke until finally—“I have been keeping something from you.”
His voice was oddly calm. I crossed my arms against my chest.
“What are you talking about?”
Blake was rigid and barely breathing. What was making him so uncomfortable? He almost looked—I paused, realization striking hard as I recognized the burdensome feeling I still carried.
“Is this guilt? You’ve kept something from me and you feel guilty about it?” I asked, a tone of incredulity invading my words.
Blake was motionless and every second that passed stirred more dread within me. I had no idea what he was hiding but I was sure of one thing: it changed nothing.
I moved toward him, hating this distance, but stopped short a few paces away.
“Would it make me walk away from you right now?” I asked, unsure how far to press him.
I didn’t want him to shut down.
Blake stared into the fire. “It should.”
I took another step. “Then I don’t want to know. At least not tonight.”
Blake stood unmoving for so long that my heart started pounding as I waited for him to do something—anything.
Finally, he turned, his tall frame silhouetted by the firelight, leaving the rest of him in shadow. He neared me, his fingers tracing the line of my jaw, sending a searing fire through me that burned a trail in its wake.
“You would let me have you, knowing I am keeping something from you that you will hate me for?” he murmured.
His presence surrounded me.
It was illogical. It was careless, even dangerous. But Blake took responsibility far beyond what he should have. Whatever he’d done, I wasn’t convinced it would make me hate him. But if it did?
I didn’t want to know. Not now. Not when this yearning was consuming me. Not when I had the chance to stifle this need. My attraction to him was only part of it. Everything within me felt in balance when I was near him and the closer I was, the more complete I became.
I wanted to be close to him, no matter the cost, even if it was the truth.
I rested my trembling hand against his chest.
“Answer the question. Why me?” Blake asked, his voice low.
A breath escaped my lips.
Why did it sound like there was a hint of disbelief in his tone? Did he not know? I searched his eyes, unsure what I was looking for, when I felt it—turmoil.
It struck like an arrow to my heart. I touched his face, the trembling worse now. I cursed my nerves for taking over, willing my everi to still my traitorous limb.
“I’ve never felt safer with anyone than I do when I’m with you,” I whispered.
Blake’s expression faltered, his brow pinched as he watched me.
“But it is a lie, Anna,” he said.
I smiled.
“Then let me live that lie.”
His lips brushed mine and a surge of adrenaline coursed through me. I lifted onto my toes, searching for that connection again, when his hands took hold of me.
“As you wish,” he murmured, his lips against my ear.
The heat from his kisses seared across my neck.
I leaned against him, his chest heated and soothing to my cool skin.
I tipped my head back, gasps escaping my parted lips as he kissed me in ways I never knew were possible.
His hand braced the small of my back, the other roaming endlessly across the thin material of the gown.
He pulled away, the soft material rising around me as I lifted my arms, allowing it to slip over my head.
Eyes closed, I was keenly aware of my exposed flesh as he lowered me down.
The settee braced me enough to peek from beneath my lashes.
Above me, the flames licked Blake’s rigid torso, his hair tousled even more, and his eyes—they were like molten steel being pulled from the forge, the glow of the fire making the illusion all too real.
They raked across my body, devouring as he went.
His hand moved up my thigh, his fingertips leaving trails of disaster upon my skin.
The delicate strap of my undergarment slipped down my hip, followed by the warmth of his hand as it moved down my body.
Our gaze met; it was as if he’d paralyzed me. Every line, every shadow, every strand of hair, the way he wet his lips—I couldn’t look away. I’d never been so enamored by the mere sight of someone. He could’ve told me he was a god and I wouldn’t have questioned it.
He rose, shedding his pants, the only clothing he had on.
Everything was trembling as I took in the man before me.
Something deep within was drawing him to me, screaming for him to create negative space.
He touched my knee, caressing my skin before guiding my legs apart.
My chest constricted as I held my breath.
He was so near, his body so close. He closed around me, my legs locking around his hips as he took me in his arms. His chest rose and fell against mine, his breath on my lips.
Everything was as it should be. This was where he belonged.
His lips on my flesh tore through what I thought pleasure was.
This was more than pleasure—it was ecstasy.
I tried to contain myself but sounds I’d never made before broke free.
Mostly against his lips when he kissed me.
I felt him against me now, hard, thick, and ready.
My blood pulsated through me as his mouth claimed mine.
I clung to him, feeling the burn that rose from my core.
“Blake,” I begged.
He kissed me again before his lips trailed my jaw to my ear.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
I tried to say yes but it came out more like a cry of desperation.
He was so close, so ready to give me what I craved.
“I’m sure,” I breathed.
A small smirk touched his lips as he touched his forehead to mine.
“You are a dream,” he whispered.
The pressure was significant. I shifted my hips, desperately wanting him inside of me, drawing a soft moan from him.
“Careful,” he said. “I am trying to maintain at least a modicum of control.”
I pressed my lips to his, kissing him without restraint, drawing my tongue across his lips.
“I don’t want your control,” I said against his lips.
A deep hum reverberated against my mouth.
“Anna,” he said. “I have never felt a woman so unbroken. I will not hurt you.”
I drew him closer. “I’m fine.”
I shifted again, feeling more of him enter me. It sent waves of burning bliss up my core and I captured his mouth again. He moaned into my mouth and his body shifted atop me. I tightened my thighs around him, begging him to come to me.
He deepened the kiss, biting my lip as his composure slipped. I thrust my hips against him, eliciting a growl as he pulled away from my mouth. He withdrew so he was upright again, looking at me with hooded eyes. He hooked his arms under my thighs, spreading my legs further, and thrust.
The pleasure and the pain threaded through my muscles like a needle. I felt everything. He was inside of me, changing me, stretching me, taking me, claiming me. I couldn’t breathe and darkness spread across my vision.
His lips on mine, my body was completely at his mercy.
He was against me, every stroke unlocking some piece of myself I didn’t know was there.
Pleasure screamed in the darkest corners of my mind.
His mouth consumed mine as I struggled to breathe, his crushing weight making it hard for my lungs to work, but it didn’t matter—it was like I didn’t need to breathe.
I just needed him.
My body started moving on its own. Desperate to feel his return, to unlock the final piece, the one that would bring the light.
He had me entirely under his control, taking my body as I needed him to, with no rational thought whatsoever.
The pleasure was twisting, tightening, burning.
I couldn’t spread my knees any further. Each thrust he took was deep, further coiling the connection between us so tightly.
I was sure the end of this would be death.
But it was far more glorious than death.
Light burst across my vision as he struck deeper than ever.
Everything came undone, flooding my body with waves of pleasure I didn’t know existed.
When I saw him, an ethereal glow bathed him in a white hue—but it was his eyes that startled me.
There were flames in them, not from the fire but from within.
It faded as I stared at him, his body pressed intimately against mine.
As the glow faded, he withdrew and lifted me into his arms. He carried me to bed and drew the covers over us, holding me close.
The soft pattering of the rain outside, coupled with his beating heart, was the most soothing rhythm I’d ever heard.
I noticed the pendant around his neck and took it between my thumb and finger to see it more closely. It was a beautiful winding symbol of a tree and its branches.
“What does this mean?” I asked.
“It is the crest of the Evertine family—my mother’s line. This was her necklace,” he said.
I let go of it, surprised by this.
“Is she…”
“Yes, she died when I was young,” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I murmured. “But you had your father still, right?”
Blake scoffed. “I’m Prince Rykiren to him.”
I furrowed my brows. “Rykiren?”
Blake cast a glance at me, minutely confused for a fraction of a second. “That is my given name. Blake is what my mother always called me, as do my friends. It is what she wished to call me but was given no say in what I was named.”
I sat there momentarily, my tongue twisting as I figured out what question to ask first.
“But enough of that,” he said. His tone was light but the plea in his tone was genuine.
“Of course,” I whispered, my gaze drifting to the windows.
The rain stopped and I could see beyond the treetops again.
The silver and orange light of the moons set them aglow beneath the stars of a foreign galaxy.
Being worried whether Blake’s title would keep him from me seemed insignificant in comparison.
But the more I mulled it over, the more I connected it all.
It was evident in many ways: the way he carried himself, the way he spoke with such formality sometimes, and the way the rules that applied to everyone else didn’t seem to apply to him.
“I can feel the gears turning,” he said, a spark of curiosity in his voice. “What do you want to know?”
I glanced up at him, smirking. He looked at ease, and I enjoyed that serene peace about him.
“What about this moment brings you peace you don’t have when we’re at Nightfall?”
His fingers stopped tracing stars on my arm.
“Eu qui velay, ehlar se sonya nu,” he said.
Right now, there is only you.
I knew it was Blake’s voice, but the cadence of his voice speaking Valyrian sounded different to me. I’d studied it and I understood him, but I wouldn’t ever speak it like he did. He must’ve been cut from the stars, a being beyond what should have existed beneath the heavens.
He shifted beside me, his chest rising and falling steadily.
“Lei sto eranion,” I whispered and closed my eyes.
Then let it last forever.