Chapter 35 Inconceivable
Inconceivable
ANNA
The return journey to Nightfall was somber.
I wasn’t processing what happened, still in shock. Everything was numb and the echoes of that thing’s voice wouldn’t leave my mind.
Once we passed through the rift, the change in gravity felt like I was walking on air. It also revealed how exhausted I was. While I knew it was an illusion, I felt safe being at Nightfall.
I slept for hours and hours, my mind trying to make sense of what had happened but only managing to prey on my fears instead.
Images of the wraith and its victims haunted my sleep; nightmares of Derrick without a face and Blake telling me terrible things that couldn’t be true.
When I woke, I barely remembered that I’d gone to Blake’s tower before I fell asleep on his bed. Every part of me was stiff and in pain, as if I’d been asleep for days.
I found myself in a t-shirt and shorts, twisted in his black sheets. I took in the familiar red and black decor of his room but didn’t see him anywhere.
Slipping back the covers, I found the soft threads of the rug underfoot.
A cold breeze flowed into the room and I found the balcony door ajar.
Outside, Blake leaned on the rails, his forearms bearing his weight as he gazed out toward the horizon.
He wore a black long-sleeved shirt, the bottom caught in the wind like it wasn’t buttoned all the way, and loose-fitting black trousers.
It was dusk and the night sky was beginning to show the brightest stars.
I stepped beside him but he didn’t look at me right away.
“I am sorry,” he said.
I knew what he was apologizing for and it was ridiculous. Nothing that happened was his fault.
“You know it wasn’t because of you,” I said. “I wanted to go, Blake.”
“And I should not have let you,” he said.
I released a guttural sound of irritation and he looked at me, his features cast in shadow. His usually steel-colored eyes had deep red flecks bleeding into the irises. It was like that night in the Realm, but I thought I’d been imagining it.
“I will never regret last night,” he said, “but I must tell you the truth.”
My heart thudded like it was caught in a vice-grip. He moved past me and I followed him in.
“What are you talking about?” I said, circling him where he stood in the sitting room and rounding on him with a gaze so searing he lifted his brows in surprise.
I could tell by his silence that something was very wrong. Something that had to do with the ruby-like color in his eyes.
“It is my fault,” Blake said softly. “I would never be permitted to have you. Now I will pay the price.”
I shook my head. Confusion twisted into anger as I neared him.
“What are you talking about?” I asked, touching his arm.
He flinched, taking a step back.
“My line is cursed,” Blake said, his eyes glazed and narrowed as he looked away. “Descended from the gods and cursed to desire more than a mortal life, triggered by mortal desire.”
His words made no sense. Prophetic nonsense he’d read in a book. Was he delusional? I wanted to go to him but I was rooted to the floor. This couldn’t be happening. He was going through something. He’d get over it.
“That’s absurd,” I said, laughing nervously.
Blake shook his head. “No. I should have told you the truth from the beginning. I never should have touched you. Especially when I—”
My everi was ripping through me, tightening every muscle in my body.
“When you what?” I whispered.
Blake stood like a dark angel with only the dim starlight to silhouette his outline. Just a candle flickered from the bedroom, his shirt open, revealing him in a state of vulnerability that was not like him.
When he looked at me, the red flecks glowed in the darkness.
“I was there that night,” he said, his voice strained.
I swallowed, not moving. “What night?”
“The night your mother was murdered,” he said.
The world stilled. The flame flickered out, the smoke trail a mere wisp. Blake didn’t move, didn’t breathe, didn’t look away.
“I don’t know what happened to her, Anna,” he said. “I am not even sure how I got there, only that, somehow, The Falls is responsible for what happened.”
Inside, someone was screaming. I willed it to stop, trying to stop the pain splitting through my head. Blake. The Falls. Mom.
The shadows. Stretching, crawling, choking…
…falling.
“Anna!” Blake shouted.
I was against Blake’s chest, his hands bracing me.
Everything hurt, like my blood was no longer flowing enough to sustain life.
It was like something had drained me of energy, enough to make me black out momentarily.
I felt Blake’s everi within me, rejuvenating me as I curled against him.
He pulled me close, the warmth easing my pain, the balance calming my mind.
“It was you,” I whispered, my head against his chest. “You were the one I ran into in the woods.”
Blake exhaled in relief. “Yes, that was the first time I ever saw you and it was the last time until I saw you again on your first day at Nightfall.”
I flinched, pulling myself away. Blake didn’t reach for me, watching me cautiously.
“Where did you take me?” I asked.
“I did not take you anywhere,” he said. “I was not supposed to be there; it was a mistake. I found you in the forest. You were running. You ran right into me. I caught you but you passed out. I went to the house and lost consciousness. When I awoke, I was back in The Falls and you were gone.”
I tore myself away and started pacing, the restlessness within me threatening to brew into something more nefarious by the second.
“You were in Raven Falls?” I asked. “How?”
“Yes. I was training,” he said. “Somehow, I was drawn through a rift, but I don’t know how or who could have done that.”
I stopped, fixing my gaze on him. “You must know more. I was missing for the next year. Are you saying I was in Raven Falls?”
“I do not know,” he said. “I have told you everything I know.”
I growled in frustration, and a voice sounded in my mind.
“You are a dirty little secret, aren’t you?”
Malakai.
Blake told him.
I whipped around, sure he couldn’t be too far, but Blake’s hand caught my arm.
“Let go of me!” I snapped.
“You think I am going to allow you to run off looking for Malakai?” he seethed.
I gaped. “You read my mind? I didn’t know you could use the mind affinity!”
Blake’s eyes narrowed. “You are hysterical. Of course I read your mind. I did not see the need to tell you.”
I summoned everi into my fist, trying to free myself from his grasp, but he thrust me against the wall, holding me there with his body.
“How dare you bore into my mind without my permission! All this time, you knew who I was, and you knew I was taken! Is that why you were interested in me? Was I some kind of side-show freak you simply had to get a glimpse of?” I said, dragging in air in desperate gasps.
“You know that is not true,” Blake said, his expression torn.
“All I know is that you’re still lying to me!” I said. “That’s why I’m going to find your fucked up best friend—at least he’s willing to bargain for the truth!”
Blake growled low in his throat. “There is nothing you can do, Anna. The one involved in what happened to your mother bent the fabric of space-time to get to you. Do you see now why I never want you to set foot in The Falls?”
“What does it even matter if he can travel between worlds like that?” I asked. “Besides, it’s not for you to decide what I do. Tell me who killed my mom!”
Blake held me in place with every force of will he had. I couldn’t move an inch, no matter how hard I tried. He wasn’t just holding me; he was fully restraining me, the weight of his mind, body and soul bearing down on me.
“Calm down. There is nothing you can do right now.”
Blake’s words disseminated into my thoughts like a cool rain. I fought it, grasping onto the shackles that chained me to my fury. I was too weak, no match for Blake’s skill in matters of the mind. As my temper cooled, my body gave up and I sank against the wall.
“Anna,” Blake murmured.
I didn’t want him to comfort me, or touch me, or look at me, but I couldn’t get the words out.
I couldn’t do anything because the truth was—he was right.
What kind of being tore their own rifts between worlds?
Murdered with shadows? Destroyed memories specific only to them?
What had Blake seen to have kept this from me for so long?
I was weak.
Blake’s grip on me loosened, and the pressure that held me against the wall lessened.
“Blake?” I asked.
His weight shifted, and the warmth of his everi withdrew.
“Blake!”
I grabbed him, catching his weight as he fell, falling with him to the floor. His expression was still, his dark lashes not fluttering at all.
He was unconscious.
I stared into the face of the man I loved, hated and adored, wanting him to wake up so I could punch him without feeling bad about it.
“Blake, wake up,” I said, shaking him.
But he didn’t. His head rested gently to the side, his breathing shallow and slow.
“He will be out for at least five minutes.”
A piercing cold injected ice into my veins.
Malakai stepped into view, his unmistakable sea green eyes watching me. He wore his traditional long, tailored coat, his white dress shirt collared and cuff-linked.
I rose quickly, placing Blake behind me as I drew everi into my palms.
“Hmph,” Malakai grunted, unperturbed by my defensive stance. “I thought you might have finally come to your senses and wanted to fulfill our little agreement.”
My heart raced as I tried to figure out what he was talking about.
“What agreement? And what have you done to Blake?” I asked.
Malakai glanced at him, and a foul look crossed his expression. “So worried over him. He will be fine. Just a minor sleeping curse. Easy to do when one is caught off guard.”
I relaxed; if he wasn’t lying, that was good news. Blake did seem to be asleep.
“What do you want?” I asked.
“You were the one who summoned me, remember?” he taunted.
“What? I didn’t summon you!”
“But you did,” he said. “Remember? We have an agreement, still unfulfilled, which I might remind you of. You called for me. In your mind, you wanted me here.”
All the heat drained from my body. I had wanted to speak with him. In my anger and my desperation, but that was a mere thought. I hadn’t acted on anything.
“You can hear my thoughts, too?” I asked, my voice fragile, as if speaking the words too loudly would make it true.
“Sometimes,” Malakai said, his lips curving up at one corner of his mouth. “You really should learn some defenses. However, I have to agree with Blake. The answers you seek are far beyond your reach and I’m not quite ready to let you go and get yourself killed.”
My temper flared as I watched him, so casually admiring Blake’s vase and bookcase.
“Then why come here?” I asked, my words dripping with malice.
His fingers dropped from the spine of the book he was admiring and shot me a taunting glare.
“There is a connection between us,” he said, nearing me, but stopping a few paces away. “An oath.”
I shook my head. Why was he so vile?
“There’s nothing between us,” I spat.
His expression twisted, bitterness ruining whatever handsome features he might’ve had.
“I suppose you are right,” he said. “Tell me, when did Blake finally ruin you?”
The muscles in my jaw locked as fury gripped my throat.
“Are you in my head again?” I snapped.
Malakai scoffed. “I do not need to be. I can tell by looking at you, and I can smell Blake’s bloodlust.”
Bile rose, threatening my senses, but I couldn’t dwell on his filthy mind right now. Not when he was proving to have potentially useful information.
“What bloodlust? Tell me what you know!” I said.
“He never told you about his lineage either?” Malakai asked, clicking his tongue. “It does not sound like Blake shared much of anything with you.”
I felt the everi in my palms rippling in waves. I was about to get answers with force if necessary.
Malakai stretched his neck. “You are no fun. Fine. Blake is descended from the most direct bloodline of the God of Fire, Daemon, and the Goddess of Light, Sairyn. Their son, the older of two, Alnir, founded the city of Raven Falls. His bloodline yielded one of the most terrifying blood mages Valyria has ever seen—the very same one that killed his lover and cursed the Realm into its current state.”
“You mean, Aryus Ryth’enir,” I asked. “Like in the play?”
Malakai smirked. “Yes, that is who I mean, except not like in the play. He was a ruthless blood mage. Blake’s great-great-great-whatever grandfather, which of course means he inherited the bloodlust.”
“My line is cursed,” Blake had said, his eyes glazed and narrowed as he looked away. “Descended from the gods and cursed to desire more than a mortal life, triggered by mortal desire.”
“Triggered by mortal desire,” I whispered.
Malakai looked thoughtful. “Yes, I do recall reading that at some point. So it was you who triggered his bloodlust.”
I glanced at Blake, recalling the red around his irises. I did this? I made him crave blood?
“He will only continue to desire it more,” Malakai said. “Until he gives in. Especially your blood.”
My everi faded, my thoughts scattered, and my arms fell limp at my side.
Malakai neared me but I didn’t move.
“I will be back for you, eventually,” he whispered, then disappeared into the night.