17. Ezra
SEVENTEEN
ezra
Having Rina here was strange. I’d never planned to bring her here, to have her in my home, surrounded by my people. There were too many eyes on us—too many people I couldn’t trust fully.
My staff, the people who had followed me and left their old lives behind, I trusted wholeheartedly.
But the others who might stop by? I couldn’t trust that they wouldn’t run and tell my mother the second they found out what Rina was to me.
It was bad enough just bringing a woman home—something I’d never done before.
If my mother knew she was my blood mate, she’d be lording that over my head for the rest of time, using Rina against me to manipulate me into the decisions she wanted me to make.
Still, part of me had to admit there was something about seeing my mate here, like the manor might come to life again with a woman in it.
That this place didn’t have to be the cold, heartless home it had been for the last century.
Maybe I’d feel different if I grew up within these walls, instead of in the city and on the streets, a little errand boy for my parents.
I’d grown up in the back of pleasure dens, hiding from the reality I knew lay outside. It was no place for a child.
Though I hadn’t shown her my most private places, showing Rina around the manor had made me look at it with a fresh set of eyes for the first time. What would it have been like to grow up here, surrounded by people who loved me?
What would it be like if someday I had a wife and child living here?
A child with her mother’s lovely brunette hair, soft as silk.
I shut my eyes, forcing the image away. That wouldn’t happen between us, so there was no point in even imagining it.
She’d made it clear she didn’t want me, and though I knew she could never love me, part of me still longed for it.
Until we figured out a way to break this mate bond, I needed to spend as much time avoiding her as possible so I didn’t make the same mistake again.
“This place is just… inconceivable, Ezra. You really live here?”
I nodded. “When I’m not traveling or working with Barrett.
” Though those times had been fewer lately, as I’d been leaving the manor less and less.
Still, it never really felt like home. “My room is on the third floor if anything arises. Like I mentioned, vampires tend to avoid the sun, so you’ll find most of us sleep during the day.
You’ll have the manor all to yourself while we sleep.
” Rina glowered, and I held up a hand. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t still stay on guard, though.
I know I told you not to leave without me, but I don’t want you to let your guard down.
There are people who could try to capture or hurt you to get to me. ”
Rina looked away, tracing the wood of the banister at her side. “Because of your position?”
“Yes.” Fuck, I need to clarify exactly what that position was. She’d find out soon enough, though. I just had to hope my mother didn’t find out about her first.
“I have something for you.” She looked confused—fair, considering we weren’t exactly at a place to be giving each other gifts—as I pulled the silver dagger out of my pocket, holding it out to her. “I want you to have this.”
We were close enough that all I could smell was her, that I would only have to move an inch to pull her into my arms.
“A knife?” Rina’s eyebrows furrowed. “I thought you said I couldn’t kill you. Why are you giving me a weapon?”
I ignored that comment. “It’s a silver dagger,” I explained. “One hundred percent pure silver mined in Romania. I trust you know how to use it?”
Without a word, it lifted from my palm, sliding out of the scabbard before flying into the wall. “Well?” Rina propped her hands on her hips.
“Good.” I stared at where she’d put a hole in the antique damask wallpaper.
I’d always thought it was a little hideous, but when I’d tried to redecorate, had been given a firm no.
Maybe now I could justify taking it down.
Target practice was a good use of the hideous pattern. “But, could be better.”
Rina rolled her eyes. “You’re ridiculous.”
Turning my back to her, I pulled the dagger out of the wall, smirking to myself as I thought about the irritated look on her face. I suspected she might actually like it when I teased her.
“Here,” I said, sliding it back into the sheath and then into her hand. “Keep it on you at all times. You’ll never know when it could come in handy.”
She frowned at me, the weapon clutched in her palm. “All this because you think someone might find out about me?” Rina’s face scrunched up. “Are you actually… worried about me, vampire?”
I scoffed. “No.” Yes. Of course I was. Even if she didn’t like me—even if we could barely stand each other—she was still my mate. “Don’t be foolish.”
Rina glared at me before tightening her palm around the hilt. “Oh, so I’m foolish now? Great. Another insult to add to your repertoire.”
Rolling my eyes, I stepped back from her—needing space from her scent. Her bare neck was so alluring to me, damn it, and I knew I needed to feed again already. “I wasn’t calling you foolish,” I clarified. “I was telling you not to be.”
“Same difference,” she muttered, looking away. I could tell she was annoyed, but couldn’t for the life of me figure out why. This was our dynamic; it wasn’t like anything had changed between us. “Anyway, I was just checking. Wouldn’t want you to accidentally catch feelings for me or whatever.”
I snorted. “As if.” That was as unlikely as it was for my mother to actually express any warmth towards me.
“Good.”
“Great.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, the action pushing her tits up, making my mouth water.
Fuck, I needed to get a grip on this lust that was riding me.
If it was this bad now, I could only imagine how much worse it would be the next blood moon.
“If the tour is complete, can I go back to my room now? I’d like to check on Ambrose and get settled in. ”
I reached out, curling my hand around her silky brown hair before dropping it. “Of course, Rina. You’ll find there’s a wardrobe of clothing provided. Hopefully, it is adequate for your needs.”
“Clothing?”
“Yes. Attire appropriate for the manor.” I let my eyes drift down over her legs.
She was wearing tights with a tight black skirt and a long-sleeved purple top today. While she wasn’t exactly showing a significant amount of skin, it was the opposite of demure.
Maybe because her collarbone and the slope of her neck were exposed, giving the perfect access to the veins I longed to sink my teeth into.
“No man is about to tell me how to dress, Ezra.” Rina looked pissed, and goddamn, I was hard. Which was definitely not the right reaction in this situation. Double fuck.
I dragged my hand up my face, running my fingers through my hair in exasperation. “I’m not telling you anything, Sabrina. Just… maybe something a little less tempting around the vampires?” I didn’t care about the rest of them. I only cared about myself.
About how hard it was to restrain my own urges.
If anyone else so much as looked at her, I’d rip their throats out.
The dining room was full of vampires who looked at me as if I’d somehow grown two heads.
Vampires I trusted with my life, of course—and my mate’s life. If she was in danger, I knew any of them would keep her safe.
Rina was upstairs, alone in her bedroom with that raccoon kit she’d been so adamant on saving, which gave me a moment to talk to them without her.
I didn’t need her second guessing me, reading into my every word, or thinking she meant something to me she didn’t.
Doing a really great job at that, aren’t you?
I was a fool if I thought I could ever get her to actually like me.
Smoothing down my shirt, I turned to face my coterie: Victoria, my second, as well as four other vampires: Aldric, Scarlet, Raven, and Julian.
I’d known all of them for decades, though everyone’s age varied immensely.
Scarlet, the aptly named red-haired woman, was the youngest at fifty-four, while Julian was the oldest at over four-hundred.
We were a rag-tag group of vampires, ones who lived on the border of vampire society, and I preferred it this way. They were loyal to me, and it didn’t take a sire-bond to command them to bid my will—they did it because they trusted me, and I gave them that same trust back.
“What do you mean you’ve got a human living here?” Julian repeated what I’d just said.
I grunted, my fuse short at the moment. Most likely because of my blood mate upstairs who made me delirious. The woman I was trying so hard to resist. “She’s not human; she’s a witch.”
Victoria stood at my side, arms crossed over her chest, a small pout on her lips. “She’s not just a—”
“Vic.” This time, I glared at her.
“I don’t understand why you’re not just telling them,” she muttered. “We all have eyes. And noses.” Vampires had a heightened sense of smell, yes.
“The walls have ears,” I reminded her. “My mother’s spies are everywhere. This is information I don’t need getting back to her.”
Everyone else seemed to understand what I was saying without me spelling it out.
Raven frowned. “But she…”
“Is mine to protect,” I answered.
Victoria gave me a look. “Does she know that?”
“Yes.” I gave another grunt. Mostly. I would not elaborate too much on that.
Scarlet piped up next. “But you haven’t claimed her.”
I shook my head. “No.”
Julian’s face looked pained. “And does she know you can’t… feed from anyone else?”
I swallowed roughly. “No.” I sounded like a broken record. “You all know what will happen if anyone finds out what she is to me,” I said. “Besides, she doesn’t want this. Doesn’t want me.” And damn if that wasn’t the biggest blow to the chest.
No one had ever wanted me, not really. Not when it mattered.
“Ezra.” This time, Scarlet’s voice was soft. Pitying. I fucking hated it. I didn’t want her to look at me like something that was broken. Something that needed fixing.
I turned back to the task at hand. “Any other questions?”
Aldric scratched his head. “So, in summation, you’ve got a witch in the manor who is your only potential source, and she can’t stand you?”
Yep. Grumbling the response under my breath, I looked away.
“Way to hit the nail on the head of the coffin, Al,” Raven said with a snort.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. Gods, they were a loyal bunch, but sometimes they got on my last nerve.
“She’ll remain here until we can break this godsforsaken bond.
Alright?” Glaring at all of them, I knew none of them would dare question me with this.
“You’ll all be tasked with keeping her safe—and keeping your eyes on her while I’m gone.
As Victoria loves so much to remind me, I have business at court. ” I gritted my teeth.
“Not sure I like the sound of that,” Scarlet said.
“Oh, I definitely don’t,” Julian agreed.
“Just shut up, all of you.” I waved my hand. “Dinner is in precisely one hour, and I expect you all to be on your best behavior. And, lest I have to give you another reminder—she is mine. I expect to find no teeth marks in her pristine skin. Is that clear?”
Victoria scrunched up her nose. “Possessive and grumpy. As if we’d want to drink from her with your scent all over her, Ezra.” She looked coy. “You, on the other hand, desperately need to feed.”
“Don’t remind me.” It wasn’t as bad as before, but the effects were slowly creeping back in. Abstaining for days at a time wasn’t something my body was accustomed to, especially not with the pull I felt towards her.
Of course, before I’d drank blood from blood banks, donated without the humans even realizing what it would be used for. In all my years, I’d never drank directly from any living being until her. Did it have to be so damn fucking good?
Just the thought of sinking my teeth into her had my cock hardening, desiring to plunge into her slick passage. I’d scented her arousal, knew how badly her body craved me, too.
Her head—that was what I had to get on board.
“You know why that’s a bad idea.” The more I drank from her, the more the bond would settle into place. We were racing against the clock, and I had no idea what was at the end of the tunnel. I didn’t see a way out of this when time ran out.
Because the more I drank from her, the more I wanted her. The more what Archer told me felt unavoidable.
The smirk lit up my second’s face. “And yet… you’re going to do it anyway, aren’t you?”
I swiped my hand over my face. Oh, I was so fucked.