23. Rina
TWENTY-THREE
rina
It was the witching hour. My favorite time of night, the one where you could get lost in your desires and forget your responsibilities and live. And I wanted to live. Wanted everything I’d ever denied myself, because this life far surpassed anything I could have ever imagined for myself.
Somehow I knew that my life before—the one in Pleasant Grove—hadn’t been me really living. I’d only been existing, trudging by enough to make it day to day. Here, in this place? Surrounded by so much beauty, so much history, knowledge, and him? I felt like I was living for the first time.
My mind was still reeling from last night, sitting in the greenhouse wrapped in Ezra’s embrace until the dark purple blooms emerged with the night sky. It was beautiful—and completely unexpected.
Because for the first time, there were no mocking words, no teasing gestures. Just two beings marveling at a miracle in nature.
After I’d gotten back to my room, I’d fallen asleep almost instantly, too exhausted from staying up almost a full twenty-four hours. My sleep schedule was all out of whack. Which explained why I was awake right now, wandering out of my bed. Aimless and restless.
Needing something.
Needing to distract myself from the thought of crawling into Ezra’s bed and asking him for a repeat of the other night.
I loosened my braid, combing through the waves with my fingers and letting them spill down my back before dressing in a flowing gown, one that reminded me of the blooms. Beautiful and deadly, he’d whispered against my skin.
Somehow, I couldn’t help but feel like he was talking about me, not the flowers.
I grabbed the candelabra from the dresser, lit the wicks, and wandered down the hallway towards the library.
The sound of whispered voices caught my ear, and I frowned, turning towards the noise. As I got closer, I realized it was Raven, Victoria, and Scarlet, all three gathered in the foyer, speaking in hushed tones.
I took another step, and the floor creaked beneath my feet.
Curses. So much for being sneaky.
They stopped talking before I could hear what they were saying, and I cursed myself, pressing myself back against the wall of the dark hallway before they could see me.
Why was I even trying to hide? Maybe because I was used to having a constant shadow whenever Ezra was around, and I was tired of it.
All I wanted was to be alone for once—to deal with the constant stream of thoughts bombarding my mind.
Thoughts of Ezra and that wicked, wicked mouth, and exactly how I wanted him to use it.
Sneaking away, I made my way to the library, closing the door quietly.
“Hello.” A deep voice from behind me almost made me drop the candelabra.
When I turned, there was Ezra—sitting on the couch, wearing a pair of silver frames, a book in his lap. He looked amused. Godsdamn, those slutty little glasses were doing something to me.
“Oh,” I squeaked out. “I didn’t think anyone would be in here.”
“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked, closing the book without a bookmark.
I shook my head. “My sleep schedule’s all out of whack.” I shifted awkwardly, unsure why, for the first time, I had no idea what to say to the vampire.
He chuckled. “Probably my fault, I’ll admit.”
Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I took a few steps into the room, candelabra still in hand. It felt like I was in another time, another place. Not the twenty-first century. I probably looked like a Victorian widow about to sit at a piano, but I couldn’t bring myself to care at the moment.
“Any luck?” I asked, trying to force a note of hopefulness into my tone. “What about the man Archer mentioned? The one who was successful?”
He sighed. “He’s not… stable, Rina. The man lost his mind.”
“Oh.”
Ezra smoothed his hand over his face, dragging his fingers through his blond strands and leaving them sticking up. “That is not an option.”
“I see.” Of course, he wouldn’t want to risk himself. I looked away, unsure of what to say.
His voice was rough as he muttered, “his mate died, Sabrina.”
“What?” The word was hardly more than a whisper.
He grunted. “The man’s blood mate, he threw himself off a cliff. That’s how little the human wanted to be bonded to a vampire.”
I felt sorry for the human, who probably felt so desperate at finding out he was bonded to a monster that he thought the only way out was death. But Ezra wasn’t a monster. I knew he considered himself one, but that just wasn’t true.
Yes, he had monstrous qualities, but he had a conscience. A moral code that he wouldn’t dare break. I’d seen it, day after day. How clear he’d been about my consent, even when it hurt him.
“But…” I pressed my hand over my heart. “How does he survive if he can’t drink another’s blood? If his blood mate is gone…”
“He succumbed to bloodlust a long time ago. Now he lives alone, no better than the feral werewolf who attacked you.” Ezra’s voice shook, like he was barely containing his rage. “I won’t allow anything to happen to you, Rina. I won’t.”
Turning my back on him—because I was never worried about him hurting me, not even a little—I moved towards the books, letting my intuition guide me.
My magic might not have been as strong as my coven’s, but every book in here gave off a magical signature, a remnant of the author’s aura that seeped into its pages.
Something called to me, and I couldn’t ignore it. Not when I’d been in here for a reason, for the answers we’d been looking for.
I climbed the ladder, reaching for the book—black leather spine, an embossed pentagram catching my eye.
Right before I was about to grab the book, the whole ladder wobbled.
A warm hand landed on the small of my back, steadying me.
I shut my eyes, appreciating the feeling of his touch.
A sensation I shouldn’t long for, and yet, I couldn’t help it.
“Careful.” Ezra didn’t move his hand, and the touch heated me, even through my nightgown. Heat that had my body coming to life, remembering every sordid detail of the last few days I’d spent with him.
My cheeks warmed. “Thank you.”
Looking over my shoulder, I saw his cocky smirk, like he knew exactly what was running through my mind. “Ezra.” I inhaled roughly. Arousal pooled in my core, and I shuddered as he moved my dress off my shoulder and kissed my bare skin.
I knew he could scent it—that he could tell when I was turned on. And while part of me hated it, another part of me loved it.
“Tell me what you want, Sabrina.” He ran his nose down my neck, inhaling deeply.
“I just want…” you.
You. Why couldn’t I say it? Why couldn’t I just admit that I wanted him? Why was it so hard when the thought was right there?
I wanted him. All of him. Whatever that meant, however I could get him. And I didn’t want to have to hold myself back anymore.
These were the moments I knew I’d remember, long after Ezra was gone out of my life—after I’d settled back into my mundane life in Pleasant Grove. One that I felt like I’d outgrown.
“I want you to fuck me,” I finally finished, not ready to part with those words yet.
Breaking the mate bond seemed hopeless, and I didn’t even know if I wanted to end it anymore.
Not when being with him felt this good, this right.
When fighting was our foreplay, and every time with him just kept getting better and better.
He picked me up, turning around so he could seat me on a step of the ladder, and I gripped the handles as he spread my legs. “Mmm. Then tell me I can have you, belladonna.” Ezra ran his hand down the side of my face, cupping my jaw.
My emotions were all over the place, and I wasn’t ready to tell him how I felt. Not yet. I had to protect my heart, because it was all I had left that was mine.
He tugged my gown up to my waist, revealing the pair of silky lace panties I’d pulled on that morning, ones that matched my bra. It had been a week since we’d arrived here, and I couldn’t help but fall more and more in love with this place every day.
A thought I shouldn’t be having, because I was going to have to leave eventually. That was the goal, after all. To go home to Pleasant Grove. To be unattached to the vampire currently dipping his head down to tug at my nipple piercings.
I couldn’t believe we were about to have sex in his library.
“Oh, Gods,” I groaned, a thought suddenly occurring to me. “Is this like having sex in a church? Are we defiling a sacred place? Am I going to hell?” Or whatever afterlife was meant for us. From what I knew from the demons, hell—the underworld—was not a place anyone wanted to end up.
He laughed, like I amused him to no end. “If you’re going to hell, I’ll be there with you. Gods know the fates have a spot reserved just for me.”
I shook my head. “You think you’re such a clever vampire, don’t you?”
“All I know is even eternal damnation would be paradise, as long as I ended up with you.”
“Such sweet words,” I said, pulling my gown off over my head, letting it drop to the floor before unclasping my bra and disposing of it the same way. “But I think you owe me something, vampire.”
“What’s that?” He knelt in front of me, snapping the waistband of the lacy panties against my skin.
I ran my fingers through his hair. “You know what.”
Spreading my legs apart, I knew full well that I was completely on display for him, naked and propped on the ladder in his manor’s library.
Any one of his vampires could come in and see what we were doing.
I bit my lip as he watched me with that heated gaze.
I’d never felt this free before, sexually.
So wanton and unashamed. Something about Ezra made me lower all my barriers, able to experience everything I’d never been able to ask previous partners before.
He hummed, red eyes practically black from desire. “Do I?” His hand slid up my thigh, and I whimpered, needing him to touch me. “Or maybe I just want to hear you beg me for it.”
“I don’t beg.”
Ezra smirked. “Oh, but you will.” Pushing my underwear to the side, he circled my clit with his finger.
“I’ll have you begging for both my cock and my bite before I’m done with you, belladonna.
” His finger gathered up the evidence of my arousal, dripping down my thighs.
“Look at you, so wet for me.” Ezra slid a finger inside of me, and I let my head fall back against the wood, groaning at the sudden fullness.
“My filthy little witch.” He groaned, squeezing the bulge in his pants with his free hand as he continued to explore me.
His tongue fluttered against my clit, and I squirmed, needing more. Needing him to take control of my pleasure the way he always did.
“So needy,” he murmured, giving me another finger, pumping into me before dropping his lips to my clit, sucking it into his mouth.
He pulled back, a sheen of my arousal covering his lips as they parted into a wicked grin.
“You said I couldn’t kiss your lips, but you didn’t mention anything about kissing you here. ”
“Oh, fuck.” When his teeth sank into the skin of my outer lips, providing me with glorious suction as he drank and sucked on my clit, making my back arch. My skin scraped against the wooden ladder, body thrashing out with each pull of blood that he drank.
Gods, it felt so good that when he moved his fingers inside me once again, finding just the right spot, I couldn’t hold back. My orgasm ripped through me, crying out his name as I clung to the ladder, digging my fingernails into the handrails.
When Ezra looked up at me from between my thighs, grinning, I felt my cheeks flush.
“You taste so fucking good,” he murmured, licking my cum and blood from his lips. “Like mine,” he said, sliding his fingers into his mouth, sucking off the taste of me on his skin. I almost moaned from how erotic the entire thing was—him, on his knees for me.
“All spread out where anyone could walk in and see, hm?” His eyes flashed with something—possession, maybe?
It felt like my whole body flushed. “Then I guess you’ll have to be quick.”
He stood, offering me a hand down off the wooden ladder. The rungs had dug into my skin, leaving impressions on my back, but I couldn’t find it in me to care.
“There is no quick, Rina. Not when I want to take my sweet, sweet time with you.” He pressed his lips against my hand. “Have you on every gods damned surface in this library. In this manor. Everywhere.”
I moaned in agreement. “Then what are you waiting for?”
Ezra grinned—like my dark god, a being I wanted to worship at an altar.
Yes, I wanted that. I shouldn’t. I knew how dangerous this was, not only for my body and for the bond, only growing between us, but also for my heart.
Part of me suspected that somehow, without me even realizing it, Ezra Darkmire had already stolen that.
I wasn’t sure I even wanted it back.