Chapter 2
Lazarus~
It was my best friend’s wedding, and though I should be enjoying myself, celebrating with the rest of the guests, all I could think about was my workload and how I could be making some real progress if I wasn’t here, socializing with people that I hardly knew.
I really needed to get a life.
Nonetheless, that thought was immediately squashed by my driven nature, and my parents had no idea what they had created when raising me.
However, with my father, Richard Copeland, being a retired neurosurgeon, and my mother, Jillian Copeland, being a retired medical research scientist, it made sense that I had always put my career first. Early on, my parents had shown me the difference that unwavering dedication could make, and I couldn’t remember ever living my life any other way.
I was also their only child, so we’d been a tight unit, and we still were.
Even though my parents lived in another state, that didn’t stop us from talking all the time, and holidays were always a must, unless I absolutely couldn’t make it, which I always did my best. I was very aware of how short life was, and I was also very aware of all my blessings, so I made it a point never to take my parents for granted.
They were good people, and I did my best to repay them for everything by being a good son.
In fact, my entire life was owed to them, and even though they’d argue that they’d just been doing what any parent would do, that was untrue.
I understood that everything after the age of eighteen was a favor in the eyes of the law, and so my parents sending me to Harvard and medical school was something that I should aways be grateful to them for.
They’d done all that they could do to set me up for success, and at forty-five, I was there.
I was blessed in more ways than one, and I knew it.
As I watched Jonathan dance with his bride, I couldn’t help but think of how it’d been a simple case of chance that we’d become best friends.
Jonathan was a physical therapist, and he worked primarily with athletes, something that he truly enjoyed.
At any rate, Jonathan and I had met ten years ago when we’d both been attending a medical conference about neurologic effects from physical injury, and after the first day, we’d ended up at the same bar, both of us staying at the same hotel.
Our conversation had started out generic enough, but as the night had worn on, we’d found out that we both lived in the same city, but also that we’d been into the same sports and familiar hobbies, and we’d ended up hitting it off.
Of course, our bromance had been solidified when a very sexy blonde had saddled up to Jonathan, hinting at some free drinks, and unbeknownst to him, she’d had a boyfriend.
Now, the only reason that I’d known that was because I had seen her earlier that morning with a man, and when I had called her out, it’d been awkward for her, but Jonathan had been grateful as hell at being saved.
He’d been very vocal about not being the cheating type, and he had appreciated that I hadn’t let him fall for it when most guys didn’t care about the details if there was a chance that they could get laid.
Now, ten years later, I was at his wedding to the love of his life, Christine, and I couldn’t be happier for him.
I had also served as one of his groomsmen, his older brother having served as his Best Man. So, as much as I wanted to leave the festivities, I knew that I couldn’t. This was the most important day of his life, and I needed to be here to see it all the way through.
As I stared at them dancing, I also couldn’t help but notice what a striking couple they were.
Jonathan was six-foot-two, had blonde hair, blue eyes, and keeping in shape was a requirement for his job.
However, his bride was a different story at only five-foot-five with dark brown hair, light green eyes, and she was very voluptuous, something that Jonathan was very appreciative of.
That was also a great thing for Christine. The world was a cruel one, and women got the worst treatment ever. No matter how far we’d come along, society still expected women to look like perfect replicas of femininity, and it was incredibly damaging to women of all ages.
Of course, being a psychiatrist, it was hard for me not to look for the deeper meaning in everything, even though I really tried when I was off the clock.
Still, when something didn’t make sense to me, I had a tendency of battering it to death until it did.
That character flaw was also what made me a good and bad therapist. Because the mind was such a complex miracle, you couldn’t be absolute in my line of work, and I was still working on that part of myself.
However, my tenacity also gave me a very high success rate when it came to my patients’ wellbeing, and that was important to me.
It also wasn’t hard to figure out where my fascination with the human mind had come from. With both my parents having been in the medical field, I had absorbed their curiosity and need for answers, and I still asked them for advice every now and again.
Still, it’d been about more than just being surrounded by their academia during my childhood.
For the longest time, I’d been plagued by strange nightmares, and that had also steered my interest in how the human mind worked.
However, what had fascinated me about the nightmares the most was how I could remember them as vividly as I could.
It was rare to recall things from your early childhood, and while I couldn’t remember my first day of kindergarten, I could remember those nightmares as if I’d had them every night for the past forty years.
Yeah, like the other night.
They were also back, and that was something that I was going to have to deal with eventually. Unlike most dreams, these affected me physically, leaving me gasping for breath when I woke from them, a sense of dread following me around for hours afterwards.
“You look bored.”
I turned to see Christine’s cousin, Mailey Herbert, taking one of the empty seats at my table. “Not at all,” I assured her.
“Oh, c’mon,” she drawled out as she rolled her eyes. “Weddings are always the worst once the exchanging of the vows is over.”
“I’m not having a bad time,” I repeated. “I just have a busy week ahead of me, and it’s not hard to think about work when you’ve got a lot on your plate.”
It’d been the wrong thing to say.
Giving me a coy look, she asked, “So, none of the bridesmaids have offered to help you work out that stress?”
My brows furrowed as I shot her a look. “All the bridesmaids are married.”
“Megan isn’t,” she pointed out.
“No, she’s not,” I agreed. “However, that doesn’t make her automatically interested in me.”
“I can’t see why,” she replied, showing her cards. “I mean, not only are you easy on the eyes, but you’re also a doctor, right?”
Regret was a real motherfucker, and when you truly regretted something, it haunted you for years afterwards, if not your entire fucking life.
It was a continuous slow burn in the back of your mind, and if you were lucky, you were able to forget about it for a few days, but it always came back.
Real regret ate at you with a steady appetite, and it fucking sucked.
Knowing that re-visiting the past wasn’t good for anyone, I pushed the thoughts aside, trying not to note how I wouldn’t be in this position had I not been such a fucking asshole. Actually, I’d been stupid, and that was much worse than being an asshole.
“Well, maybe Megan is intuitive enough to recognize that I’m here to support Jonathan and Christina only,” I told her, keeping my voice as even as possible. “I’m not here for a quick lay.”
Instead of being embarrassed at being called out, she asked, “Why not? Where’s the harm?”
“I’m just not interested,” I answered, suddenly needing a drink.
“Oh, are you gay?’ she asked, pouting as if she’d just been put out. “I mean, lucky for the other gay men here, but not so lucky for us women.”
While it’d be easier to let her believe that I was gay, I wasn’t a big fan of lying. “I’m not gay. I’m just not interested in anything other than celebrating Jonathan’s big day.”
She finally took offense, and while rejection wasn’t fun, it wasn’t always personal, something that this woman obviously didn’t understand. “Fine,” she bit out. “Your loss.”
I didn’t say anything as she got up, then walked off to wherever, probably looking for her next target, which wouldn’t surprise me. Mailey was a very pretty woman, as most blondes were, so it wouldn’t be hard for her to find some company for the night, just not me.
Forgetting about Mailey, I couldn’t help but grin as Jonathan’s grandmother made her way over to me. Even though she was in her eighties, the woman wasn’t ready to slow down for anyone, and it was hard not to admire her enthusiasm for life.
“Care to dance with an old woman?” she asked, her smile lighting up her entire face.
“Do you see any old women that need a dancing partner?” I teased. “Because all I see is a hot momma standing in front of me, making me want to be a better man.”
Grandma Trudy let out a happy cackle. “You’re probably hell on the females, Lazarus Copeland.”
She was the only person in Jonathan’s family that called me by my full name, making me smile. “Does that mean that you don’t want to dance with me anymore?”
“I just hope that you can keep up,” she retorted, and just like that, I was having a good time again.