Chapter 23
Elisabeth~
After Ramiel’s disappearing act yesterday, Lazarus had been pissed, confused, and needy.
We’d gone back to his place, and my body still ached with how he hadn’t been able to control himself.
Still, I understood why he was struggling with all this, and so I hadn’t stopped him from using me all night long.
Truth be told, after Ramiel had dropped that little bombshell on us, I’d been pissed myself.
It was one thing to be responsible for all of humanity, but it was quite another to be just a test.
At any rate, much to Lazarus’ disapproval, instead of heading straight for his place after work, I had stuck to my decision about visiting my parents.
Not only did I miss them and want to see them, but I wasn’t quite ready to move into Lazarus’ place yet, something that he was insisting on because he felt that I was more susceptible at home, something or other about letting my guard down because I’d be in my comfort zone at my house.
Now, while I thought that Lazarus was going a bit overboard, I could hardly blame the man.
Ramiel had really done a number on him when he’d told us that I’d be taken and that Lazarus wouldn’t be able to stop it from happening.
Never mind that Lazarus was a man, but this thing between us had turned him more possessive than the average male, and that was another thing that I couldn’t blame him for.
I felt just as tethered to him as he did me, and it was a rather uncomfortable feeling, truth be told.
“Elisabeth!” my mom cried enthusiastically as she swung the front door open wide. “What a wonderful surprise, honey.”
“Hi, Mom,” I greeted as I hugged her, her familiar scent calming me in a way that I really needed right now. If there was anything that could be said about my parents, it was that they were solid in a way that gave you immeasurable comfort.
“Come in, come in,” she said as she ushered me indoors, my childhood home another thing of comfort.
“Is Dad home?”
“Yes,” she answered as she shut the door behind us. “He’s in his study, but he’s not ever too busy for you.”
I took a seat on the couch as she went to go get my father, and if I survived what was coming, then I was going to have to make it a point to visit my parents more often.
As much as I loved my job and life, there was no way that I was going to be able to come out of all this without a shift in my priorities.
When my parents finally walked into the living room together, I immediately stood up to hug my father, emotion hitting me unexpectedly.
This was a man that could have raised me to be a traditionalist, but instead of forcing his beliefs on me, he’d chosen to step aside to let me conquer the world in a way that had best suited me, not them.
“Honey,” he sighed as he wrapped his arms around me. “It’s so good to see you.”
Pulling back, I let him kiss me on the cheek. “I missed you guys.”
“Let’s sit,” he said as everyone took a seat, my mother sitting next to my father on the couch, me taking one of the armchairs for better conversation.
“So, catch us up,” my mother said. “How are you doing? How’s everything?”
Now that was a question.
“I’m good,” I lied. “Work is work, but it’s good. In fact, I was even able to leave a bit earlier than usual today, so I decided that it was time for a visit.”
“Well, we’re glad that you did,” my father beamed. “We don’t see enough of you, that’s for sure.”
Doing my best to not lie to them too much, I said, “I...I’m actually here for work, too.”
My mother’s brows shot up curiously. “Oh?”
“I...I have this project that I’m working on, and it tackles conversion,” I lied. “Religious conversions to be exact, and I was just wondering...I guess I never asked why you guys hadn’t fought me harder when I mentioned wanting to convert to Catholicism.”
“Well, from a very young age, you’d been so...so enthralled with religion and the many different denominations of worship that...” My father looked over at my mother, seemingly looking for the right words, but that didn’t surprise me since they’d always been a unit like that.
Taking over, my mother said, “When you first mentioned wanting to convert to Catholicism, we’d been devastated, Elisabeth.
I cannot lie about that. However, we also knew that you hadn’t come to the decision lightly.
With as much as you studied religion and questioned everything, we knew that your request hadn’t been something of a whim. ”
“Plus, we’d been raising you to practice Judaism all your life, so when you mentioned becoming Catholic, we knew that whatever was calling you in that direction had to be stronger than anything that we could understand here on earth,” my father continued.
“So, while extremely disappointed, we’d been left with the choice of allowing you to find your own way or risk losing our relationship with you, and losing you just wasn’t an option for us, honey. ”
“Let countries go to war over religion,” my mother said. “For us, nothing is more important than you and your happiness. We did not have, raise, and love you just to lose you over something that will always be bigger than any of us could possibly ever understand.”
Trying to wrack my brain for memories of when I was younger, I said, “I don’t remember being fascinated with religion before high school.”
“That’s when you became academic about it,” my father clarified. “However, before that, you used to question us ad nauseum about Judaism and what we knew about other religions.”
“You also used to claim that all of your imaginary friends were from different religions,” my mother chuckled, and I did my best to keep a straight face.
“I had imaginary friends?” At that, both of my parents chuckled. “What?”
Still smiling, my father said, “That seemed to be all that you had.”
“They were also religious figures,” my mother added. “You used to say that you were friends with angels and these other kids that always wanted to play with you.”
Then my father really threw me for a loop when he said, “But your best friend was Russ.” He looked over at my mother, chuckling again. “Remember that?”
My mother joined in on the laughter. “You used to get so upset because Russ didn’t go to your school or come over to play.”
I had to calm my breathing and steady my nerves, lest they realized that something was up. My parents were very intuitive, and being an only child, they had paid enough attention to me to recognize my many different moods, and they were also able to sense when something was wrong with me.
Doing my best to keep my emotions at bay, I said, “You know, I don’t think that I ever thanked you guys for letting me be me. I can’t recall a single time when I ever felt judged by either of you, and that matters. It matters so much, which is why I probably moved back home to start my career.”
They both looked at me pensively as my father said, “Well, I don’t think that we’ve ever asked you why Catholicism. During that time, we’d been more focused on how you were leaving your Jewish faith behind that...well, we never asked why that specific denomination.”
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “There just felt something profoundly right about it. Still, no matter what made me choose Catholicism, I didn’t abandon all other faiths completely. I just...Catholicism just felt like the right fit for me.”
My father smiled, and it was so genuine that it nearly brought tears to my eyes. “Well, whatever you do, wherever you go, and however you choose to believe, we will always be here for you, Elisabeth.”
“Always,” my mother echoed.
I believed them, and that had me thinking about Ramiel’s earlier offer.
I knew that there was no way that I’d ever let Lazarus become the sacrificial lamb in this battle to save me from whatever was going to happen next.
I also knew that if I told Lazarus that his sacrifice would save me, he’d throw himself on the sword, but that wasn’t how real love worked.
Real love worked exactly how my parents were looking at me now.
It was unconditional.
“Well, how about you guys feed me while I tell you all about the man I met,” I joked. “It’ll make for some fun dinner conversation.”
My mother let out a squeal while my father just grumbled, “Please tell me that he’s way better than that Gardner fellow.”
“He’s nothing like Gardner,” I assured him. “In fact, I don’t think that there’s anyone else on the planet quite like Gardner Betrand.”
“Thank goodness for that,” my father huffed
“Oh, I can’t wait to hear all about this new man,” my mother gushed. “He has to be something if you’re telling us about him.” She threw me a wink. “After all, you’re not one to waste our time with nonsense.”
“As long as he’s not like that Gardner fellow, I’m fine with it,” my father huffed as he stood up.
If they only knew.