Chapter 15
No Sign of Remorse: Richard Darlington Is Heartless!
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Grace
“A pina colada with extra pineapple juice,” Kate said, handing me the cocktail.
“Thanks.”
We were sitting in The Darlington’s rooftop bar.
I hadn’t known where else to go. I desperately needed alcohol and didn’t want to be alone and risk sinking into a vortex of pain and grief.
I had called Kate, who was staying at Henry’s place tonight, and she’d suggested meeting at the hotel.
Drinks were on the house for her as Henry’s girlfriend, and I was taking full advantage of it; the pina colada was already my second cocktail.
With every sip, I cared less that my parents and Jason wanted to erase the memory of Amy.
“I talked to Henry earlier,” Kate said, slipping under the blanket next to me.
The bar itself lay beneath a glass dome, but the tables, chairs, and benches were out in the open air.
In summer, large canopies shielded guests from the sun.
In winter, heat lamps and blankets kept them warm.
The glass walls surrounding the rooftop, along with the large planters placed between the tables, helped block the wind, making it possible to sit here comfortably for almost the entire year.
Which was why, despite the chilly mid-March temperatures, every table was occupied—most of them by couples.
I took the straw of my pina colada between my lips. “What about?”
“The power cut,” Kate replied, taking a sip of her Coke.
“The electrician found out what caused it. Apparently it wasn’t just bad luck; it was sabotage.
At least, he said it looked like someone had tampered with the system.
The hotel actually has a generator that should kick in if the power goes out, but that didn’t happen.
And the chances of all systems failing or breaking down at the same time are practically zero. ”
Just like with the security cameras.
“Wild. What now?”
“Henry’s having it investigated,” Kate said, pausing briefly as a couple walked past. Everyone else in the bar was dressed up, while Kate wore her pyjamas, and I was still in the Taylor Swift hoodie with no bra underneath.
We looked like we were at a sleepover. In theory, The Darlington had a strict dress code, but as Henry’s girlfriend, Kate had special status.
Which I, as her best friend, shared. “He’s got a surveyor and someone from the insurance company coming in tomorrow.
If it really was sabotage, he’ll file charges against persons unknown. ”
I ran my thumb through the condensation on my glass. “But who would do that? And why?”
“Revenge?” Kate suggested. “It can’t be a coincidence that it happened on the first day of Mr. Darlington’s trial.”
“But the sabotage doesn’t affect Mr. Darlington. It hits Henry and us. I had to work extra hours today to catch up on everything I couldn’t do because of the power cut. And Rose said that they’d had to throw away loads of meat and fish in the restaurant because it had all defrosted.”
“These people don’t care. They’re against The Darlington, full stop. Eat the rich and all that.”
I had worked for the hotel long enough to understand the sentiment. “How’s Henry coping with it?”
Kate sighed and tucked a strand of her dark-brown hair behind her ear.
“Terribly. The therapy over the last few weeks and the shorter work hours really did him good, but the start of the trial and all the stuff around it seems to be a real step back. I suggested we take a couple of days off and go away somewhere. He was already pretty hesitant—and since the power cut, I can forget about it.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s OK. I don’t really have time, anyway. There are a lot of projects coming up at Hope Harbour,” Kate said with a smile. Her work at the organisation meant the world to her. “Besides, Tilly is off on holiday for two weeks soon, and I’m sure a lot of things will fall to me.”
Kate and I chatted for a while longer, and she got me another cocktail—this time nonalcoholic—and some nuts.
Tomorrow was a work day for me, after all.
After checking with Henry, Kate said I could sleep on his sofa.
The idea of spending the night at The Darlington felt strange, especially in my boss’s penthouse.
But at the end of the day, he was also Kate’s boyfriend.
Besides, I really didn’t feel like having another fight with my parents tonight or heading all the way out to Wembley to stay with Rose.
“Let’s go to the pub tomorrow or Saturday,” Kate suggested, covering her mouth with a hand to stifle a yawn. “We haven’t done that in ages. Rose will be happy. Maybe I can even persuade Henry to come along.”
“Sounds good. I’ll write in the group chat later.”
“Great,” Kate said, yawning again.
I gave her a look. “Tired?”
“A bit,” she admitted, yawning a third time. It was late, and given everything she’d told me over the past half hour, she had a long work week behind her already.
“You can go to bed if you want.”
“I don’t want to leave you on your own.”
“It’s OK. I’ll come soon.”
Kate eyed me doubtfully.
I nudged her knee with mine. “Go on, get lost.” It was probably her exhaustion rather than my powers of persuasion that convinced Kate.
She got up and reached into the pocket of her leather jacket, which she’d thrown on over her pyjamas, and offered me her key card so I could let myself into the penthouse later.
I took it. “Thank you.”
She hugged me goodbye and I wished her goodnight. Then she was gone.
With a sigh, I sank deeper into the seat cushion and pulled the blanket up to my nose.
It was a cold but clear night, and I could see across London for miles.
There were hardly any stars, but the city lights sparkled just as beautifully.
I couldn’t help thinking how much Amy would have loved this view.
Every year on our birthday, she had asked for us to have breakfast at the Sky Garden, just to look out over London’s rooftops.
Even though the food there was overpriced and mediocre at best.
“Are you following me?” a deep voice beside me suddenly asked.
I felt a pang of déjà vu as I looked up and saw Ethan.
My heart skipped a beat, reminding me that it was just as unsettled as it had been during our last encounter a few days ago.
Since our talk in the corridor, I’d made a concerted effort to avoid Ethan.
It was bad enough that I couldn’t trust my body around him, but now my feelings too?
That was dangerous. I couldn’t like someone like Ethan.
“I could ask you the same. I was here first.”
“That’s not true. I was at the bar. Ask Kate.”
“Oh,” I said. It was true that she’d been the one getting our drinks all evening, while I’d been too in my head to notice my surroundings.
Only now did I realise that Ethan was wearing a smart suit. It was hard to tell in the dim light whether it was black or dark blue. His tie was loose, and the top button of his shirt was undone. He looked fantastic. As always.
“Mind if I join you?” He nodded towards the empty seat next to mine.
My body shouted, Yes.
My heart called, Maybe.
My mind screamed, No!
What I said was “Sure. It’s a free country.”
Ethan didn’t just sit down next to me—he slid under the blanket to join me.
He moved so close that our thighs pressed together.
As if to test me, he rested his arm on the back of the seat.
I wanted to lean into him, because my body still remembered just how nice it had felt to be held by him.
And if his comfort already felt so good, how wonderful would it feel to have something more?
“What are you doing?” I asked all the same.
“I’m cold,” Ethan said. His tone was casual as usual, but I sensed there was more to it. He seemed to sense that I craved his closeness to feel better, even though I would never ask for it. “Relax.”
It was easier said than done. Heat rose to my cheeks, and a sharp tingling stirred in my lower stomach. I already found it hard to resist Ethan under normal circumstances, but sitting so close, it felt impossible.
“Why are you getting drunk on a Thursday evening?” he asked.
“First of all, I’m not drunk. And second, it’s none of your business.”
His mouth twitched in amusement. “Maybe not, but I’m asking anyway.”
It really wasn’t any of his business, but then again, he had proven to be a surprisingly good listener during our last conversation. And even though I had already talked things over with Kate, I felt like I had more to say on the topic.
“I had a fight with my parents and Jason.”
“Is Jason your brother?”
I nodded, pulling my legs up onto the bench and wrapping my arms around them to hold myself together.
Even hours later, resentment still churned in my stomach.
“Tonight at dinner, he asked if he could have Amy’s room, because it’s bigger than his.
And my parents want to give it to him and donate Amy’s things. ”
“And you don’t want that?”
“Of course not! It’s way too soon. Amy hasn’t even been dead for three months. How could my parents and Jason be ready to forget her so quickly?”
Ethan’s gaze drifted off into the distance before returning to me. His expression was so understanding that my resentment melted away. For the first time, I felt truly seen in my pain. “Maybe it’s more about healing than forgetting.”
“What do you mean?”
“Everyone grieves differently, and maybe your parents and Jason can’t process Amy’s death as long as everything in your flat reminds them of her.
” His tone was as gentle as his gaze, yet his words weighed heavily on my heart.
“You might need to keep her belongings close by to remember her. But they might need distance from them to deal with their pain.”
I swallowed. “That’s probably why they don’t look at me anymore.”
“Who won’t look at you?”
“My family,” I whispered, taking a deep breath. If my body was filled to capacity with air, maybe there’d be no room left for tears. “I remind them too much of Amy. They hate me.”
“They don’t,” Ethan assured me.
I wondered how he could be so certain. He didn’t know my parents, nor had he witnessed the past few weeks in our home.
Still, he sounded completely convinced of what he was saying.
Logically, I knew my family didn’t hate me, but I didn’t exactly feel loved right now either, even though I needed their affection now more than ever.
I felt the touch of Ethan’s hand, which had moved from the backrest to my shoulder. Its weight was warm and comforting. Resisting his closeness was becoming harder and harder. It felt good, strangely familiar. And no matter how hard I tried to fight it, a telltale warmth spread through my chest.
“Is there anything I can do for you?”
Hold me.
I shook my head, but as if he had read my mind, he pulled me against him. I finally gave up fighting and snuggled up close to him, allowing myself to seek comfort in him. I wouldn’t get it from my family, after all. But it was more than comfort I felt—he kindled desire within me too.
Until now, my attraction to Ethan had always seemed a little wrong, not just because he’d behaved like an arsehole for so long, but because we were in totally different leagues.
I wasn’t unattractive, but Ethan was another level of good-looking.
On top of that, he was filthy rich and part of one of the most influential families in all of London.
Doors that would always stay closed to me opened effortlessly for him.
And yet here he was tonight, sitting beside me, holding me in his arms. Suddenly, my desire didn’t feel quite so misplaced.
I knew that Ethan could make me forget all my worries and problems, even if only for one night, and I longed for that oblivion more than I did for my next breath.
I wanted to be myself again, just for one brief moment.
Normal. Undamaged. Carefree. And I was certain that Ethan could help me feel that way. So why not risk it?
“What are you thinking?” he asked, breaking the long silence.
I opened my mouth, but before I could reply, we were interrupted by a waiter approaching our table. “Excuse me, we’ll be closing soon. If you want another drink, this would be your last chance to order.”
Ethan shook his head. “No, thanks.”
“Not for me either.”
The waiter nodded and moved on to the next table. I hadn’t even noticed that the terrace had emptied considerably since we’d started talking.
“What were you going to say?”
The words were still on the tip of my tongue, but my courage had deserted me. Perhaps the waiter’s interruption had been a sign that having sex with Ethan wasn’t a good idea, even if just moments ago, he’d seemed like the perfect solution.
“Nothing,” I lied. “Do you think I’m allowed to stay here?” It was already late, but I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Deep in my bones, I felt that tonight would be one of those nights when my insomnia had me firmly in its grip.
“No. They lock the roof terrace at night for security reasons.”
“Shame.”
Ethan looked at me thoughtfully. “How drunk are you?”
I paused to check in with myself. “I’d say a three out of ten.”
I was apparently sober enough for whatever he had in mind, because he threw back the blanket, got to his feet, and held out his hand in invitation.
“Come with me.”
I stared at his fingers, undecided, before throwing caution to the wind. I’d just been thinking about sleeping with him, after all. What did I have to lose?
I took his hand. His fingers were surprisingly soft, and the touch didn’t feel as strange as it should have. Again, it felt oddly familiar, as if we’d touched dozens of times before.
“Where are we going?” I asked as Ethan steered me towards the lift.
“It’s a surprise.”