Chapter 3
THREE
Ethan
Despite knowing Hannah’s words weren’t a rejection, just a plea for time, I still couldn’t sleep.
It didn’t help that I knew I could have handled the situation better.
Putting her on the spot in front of Chloe and Gabriel was less than ideal.
And she was already struggling to deal with her grief around her sister’s death.
My head was full of should haves, and if onlys. I should have waited. I should have gotten to know her first. If only I had explained myself better. If only…I could go around like this all night long.
My bear was restless, wanting his mate. He couldn’t understand why we needed to give her time alone to think. For him, it was as simple as finding his mate and having his mate. And if Hannah were a shifter, it would be that way. But she wasn’t.
After we left the cabin, Chloe told me she had previously explained mates to Hannah, so she wasn’t completely in the dark about what it meant. Still, I would have preferred to explain it myself. Then I could answer any questions she had. Instead, she only knew what Chloe had told her.
I rolled out of bed and jammed my fingers in my hair.
Between the carousel of thoughts and the itch of my bear beneath my skin, sleep wasn’t happening.
I slipped out of my bedroom and snuck downstairs, trying not to wake anyone.
I couldn’t take more of the looks everyone kept shooting my way through dinner.
No one brought up my blunder with my mate, but I knew it was on everyone’s mind.
As soon as I hit the back porch, I let my shift come.
The familiar sting of the muscles stretching and reforming around me as my bones lengthened and changed shape always grounded me in the moment.
The boards beneath my paws made way to dirt as I took the well-worn path leading to the barn.
I circled the structure and headed to the nearest empty pasture.
We always tried to avoid shifting around the cattle, as we were all predator animals, and our shifted forms could cause them to panic.
I maintained control over my bear until we were well away from Hannah’s cabin.
As soon as I released my hold on him, he turned and raced toward his mate.
I let him run until we were almost at the cabin, then I wrestled back control.
We repeated this dance until my bear was too tired to run anymore, and the sun was peeking over the horizon.
I finally thought I could sleep, but now it was time to work.
I stopped at the barn to grab a set of the spare clothes we kept there.
The sounds of the ranch waking up greeted me when I entered the kitchen.
Mae was already cooking breakfast at the stove, and Declan and Mason were sipping coffee at the table.
No one commented on my entrance from outside. Everyone on the ranch understood sometimes the need to shift was too strong to schedule it. Mae poured me a cup of coffee and I joined my eldest brothers.
“The building is coming along. They expect to be finished with two more cabins today.” Declan leaned back in his chair. “We might want to think about how to handle the old shed. After the cabins are all done, we really should address it.”
“We could just tear it down. We haven’t used it in years.” Mason sipped his coffee. “I’d hate for a guest to wander in and get hurt.”
I rested my elbows on the table. “It’s in rough shape, but the structure is sound. Why tear down what we can fix? We might find another use for it down the road.”
“We need to secure it if we decide to keep it—especially now that Jonah’s on the ranch.
An abandoned building can be a temptation, and it’s hard to stop a young kid from slipping away and getting into trouble.
” Declan pushed back from the table to refill his mug.
“Speaking of, Chloe asked me to teach Jonah to ride, but we talked last night, and considering everything, thought that might be a better job for you, Ethan.”
A jolt ran through me. Dad had taught us to ride.
The ranch had kept him busy, but he’d taken time one-on-one with each of us.
It was one of my best memories of him. He hadn’t just taught me riding; he’d helped connect me to the ranch and family in a way I hadn’t thought possible.
That was the first day I’d called him Dad.
And now it was my turn to pass that experience on to the boy I intended to help raise.
A lump rose in my throat as the gravity of what Declan was offering me took root.
I gave him a quick nod but was saved from having to find words as the rest of my brothers piled into the kitchen, followed by Chloe.
Mae started plating up food for everyone. She smiled over my head as the back door creaked open. “Hannah, Jonah. You’re just in time for breakfast.”
I couldn’t resist sneaking a glance at my mate.
She looked like she hadn’t slept much either, but her beauty still took my breath away.
Dimples flashed as she returned Mae’s smile.
Jonah dragged his feet toward the chair Mae held out for him.
That left the only empty seat for Hannah next to me.
She slowly lowered herself into it, careful not to look my way.
“Hannah, I hope you don’t mind doing the baking today.” Mae slid plates in front of her and Jonah. “I need to run to town for an appointment.”
“Not at all. I’m happy to be put to work.” Hannah spread jam on her toast. “Is it okay if Jonah hangs out with me while I do it? I’m not comfortable with him roaming on his own just yet.”
Jonah scowled. I was sure he’d rather do anything other than sit in the kitchen all day watching his aunt bake.
Before I could second guess myself, I said, “I’m working in the barn most of the morning. He’s welcome to help me. First step in learning to ride is learning how to care for the horses.”
Jonah nearly vibrated with excitement, but I could see he was trying to play it cool. “I could do that.”
Hannah met my gaze for the first time today, her hesitation clear. “I don’t know. He might get in your way.”
“That’s what boys do.” I grinned at her. “I was one myself once. I can handle it.”
“I’ll be good, Aunt Hannah.” Jonah’s pleading eyes worked their magic on her, and she sighed as she agreed.
I held my palm out for him to give me a high five. His little hand slapped mine with enthusiasm. I suspected he would be easier to win over than his aunt, but I had to start somewhere.
Hannah
I stood at the back door, watching Ethan and Jonah walk toward the barn.
Jonah was bouncing on his toes, eager to see the horses, and Ethan was grinning at him.
He leaned down and pointed to something ahead of them.
Jonah’s head nodded, and he took off running.
Ethan jogged after him, letting my nephew beat him to the barn.
“You don’t have to worry.” Chloe came to stand next to me. “Ethan’s a good guy. Jonah’s safe with him.”
“I wasn’t worried about that.” I sighed. “Jonah’s still struggling with Cassie’s death. He looks happy now, but that can change in an instant. How will Ethan cope with a grieving ten year old?”
“Better than either of us, probably.” Chloe’s matter-of-fact response had my gaze cutting to her. “All the brothers except Declan were adopted. Ethan was nine when his parents died and he came to live here.”
“I didn’t know that.” I turned back to see Ethan holding the barn door open for Jonah. Ethan looked my way, and the intensity of his stare affected me even at a distance. I bit my lip and ducked back inside the kitchen. “He seems so lighthearted.”
“He’s definitely the brother to have fun with, but he’s rock solid underneath.
” Chloe grabbed a tea towel as I filled the sink with soapy water to do the breakfast dishes.
She leaned against the counter, tilting her head to study me.
“How are you doing with the mate thing? I can assure you he’s a great guy, if that helps. ”
“It’s not that simple. I have Jonah to think about. It’s not just me anymore.”
She snorted. “Did you see how fast he volunteered to watch Jonah for the day? I don’t think you have to worry about that.”
“Watching him for the day isn’t the same as helping raise a child that isn’t yours.” I plunged my hands in the hot water and began scrubbing a plate.
“Again, Ethan is adopted. He understands family isn’t just about who you share blood with.” Chloe took the plate from me and dried it before putting it away in the cupboard. “Plus, he’s a shifter, and you’re his mate. If something’s important to you, it will be important to him.”
“You make it sound so simple.”
“It is, and it isn’t.” Chloe grinned when I shot her an exasperated look. “Being a shifter’s mate gives you something of a guarantee, but that doesn’t make it easy. You still have to work at your relationship, but you have the universe’s stamp of approval that it’ll be worth it.”
“That’s hard for me to believe.” I placed the last pot on the drying rack for Chloe and started wiping down the table and counters. “I’m not used to men sticking around. My father took off shortly after I was born, and Jonah’s dad ghosted Cassie as soon as she told him she was pregnant.”
“That’s one thing you never have to worry about with a shifter.” Chloe hung up the tea towel. “Once they find their mate, they’re locked in. If anything, you might need to remind Ethan to give you space while you get used to it all.”
“He listened when I asked to be alone yesterday.” Not that it had helped.
I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him; the way his smile sent shivers down my spine, and the warmth of his hands around my waist. The entire night was spent tossing and turning in bed, missing a man I’d just met.
“But it still feels like it’s happening so fast.”
“That’s because it is. Welcome to being the mate of a shifter.” Chloe grabbed her camera. “I’m headed out to take some pictures of the cabin construction. I want to keep our website updated with the progress.”
After she left, I took stock of the pantry.
Mae wanted me to bake a cake and muffins, but she’d left the specific flavors to me.
Her pantry was well-organized, and I quickly found what I needed to make a red velvet cake.
I wondered what Ethan’s favorite was but pushed the thought aside as quickly as it came up.
I turned to study the oven, familiarizing myself with the dials. It was older and seemed straightforward. I twisted the dial to preheat it and then pulled out the ingredients and started mixing them. But something was missing. Music. I always baked with music.
I grabbed my phone and noticed a missed call and message from the Sheriff. I played the voicemail and the sheriff’s drawl filled my ear. “Your sister’s car is ready to be picked up. Let us know who you’ll be sending. It will need to be towed.”
I wanted to get the car immediately and find answers, but I still needed to line up a garage to inspect it. The urge to drop what I was doing was strong, but I had promised Mae I’d get the baking done before she returned. I made a note to call the sheriff back as soon as I finished.
My finger hovered over the shuffle icon on my music playlist. Habit had me wanting to lose myself in the familiar process of baking, but my grief had me feeling wrong about taking pleasure in it. Cassie would want me to be happy, but knowing that and being that were two very different things.
I hit play, and the first song was upbeat. I forced myself to hum along and tap my toes as I prepped the cake batter and pan. I loved baking. Really, I loved pretty much everything homemaking. This job, while timely, was also perfect for me.
I’d been here less than a day, and already I was feeling like I fit. But I couldn’t stop the guilt from tempering my enjoyment. If I hadn’t lost Cassie, I wouldn’t be here. And that thought more than anything had me holding back from fully accepting what fate put in front of me.