Chapter 20
ADELINA
After a much-needed shower, I dropped onto my bed with my laptop, not intending to search for anything specific.
Yet, as always, my thoughts went straight to Cezar.
Everything since meeting him had been pure chaos—violent, unhinged, distracting—but for once, it was a type of madness I didn’t mind suffocating in.
He was always in and out, like a storm that never fully settled.
I couldn’t imagine how exhausting it was for him to juggle his father’s bullshit, his brothers’ bullshit, the Syndicate’s bullshit…
and still find time for me. Everyone thought he was a man-whore, and apparently, his father encouraged it.
I wondered how dear old Viktor would react if he found out Cezar had a very particular relationship with a certain someone.
Maybe the old bastard would keel over, and I wouldn’t need to lift a fucking finger.
As I scrolled, my screen revealed… interesting topics. Cezar clearly had certain tastes. From everything I’d pieced together, I concluded he was a submissive. Not something I was used to. But being a dominatrix?
That felt right.
My curiosity sent me down a rabbit hole of toys and tools, each one more tempting than the last. I couldn’t help but fantasize about using them on Cezar, who had undoubtedly influenced my desires.
His presence had brought out a side of me I hadn’t fully embraced before, the one that wanted to make him beg.
The BDSM world was much more intricate than I’d assumed.
Sure, I knew the basics—ropes, whips, safe words.
But the depth behind it… the discipline, the psychology…
the pleasure wrapped in pain and trust. It fascinated me.
And it confirmed what I already knew. Cezar craved more than the ordinary, and I was more than ready to give it to him.
Honestly, up until now, I’d mostly been winging it. Doing whatever I’d do to torture someone, then dialing it down a few hundred notches. It worked well enough. But now I had actual ideas. Plenty of them.
My cart was full before I even realized it. Fuck, I couldn’t wait to use all these toys on him. I got up to grab my wallet when Dorin walked in.
He launched into one of his responsible adult rants the moment he saw me.
“I know we just got out of one mess, but we should probably talk about the next one we’re running toward.
Adelina, we’re moving up fast. Faster than I like.
We should slow down a bit. I know you hate hearing that, but we can’t push too hard or we’ll draw unwarranted attention. Lina… are you even listening to me?”
I absolutely was not. My face was on fire. I could feel how red I was. My eyes kept darting toward the laptop on the bed, treating it as a live grenade. Dorin was closer to it than I was, which was already a nightmare.
His gaze followed mine. “Lina, what are you doing with your laptop?” He narrowed his eyes. “I know you’re not watching porn. I’ve already walked in on that situation once—never again.” He laughed and strolled straight to the bed.
“Dorin—NO—” Too late.
He snatched the laptop, holding it above his head like a trophy while I tried to tackle him. He kept twisting out of reach, the bastard. “Inside the mind of a masochist… with how-tos…” His voice cracked. “Oh my god. Oh my god, Lina. You—Oh—Holy shit—YOU.”
His chest heaved, his face contorted, and then he absolutely lost it. Bent over. Dying. Tears forming. Dramatic as fuck.
“Give it back, you asshole,” I demanded, trying to get close enough to grab the fucking thing.
“Shorty,” he taunted, lifting it higher and easily evading me as we danced around my room like lunatics. Logical, loyal, always ready to die for me, but right now? Massive. Fucking. Problem.
He finally stopped laughing long enough to scroll. “What the fuck is this?” He stared at my cart full of bondage gear like it had personally offended him.
“Goddammit, Dorin, give it back.” I lunged again and missed, and he bolted across the room like the little shit he was. I didn’t have the height advantage—he was only a little shorter than Cezar, which still put him annoyingly above me.
“You gonna take a side gig as a dom?” He smirked, scrolling through my humiliation.
“Give me the damn laptop, Dorin. I swear to god!” Frustration with a little panic—everything boiled at once. I didn’t know enough about this BDSM shit to feel confident, and Dorin wasn’t the judgy type… but lately my emotions were a fucking minefield.
“Tell me why you are looking, and I will…” He paused for a second mid-thought, “Wait… NO—OMG…”
Perfect. Just what I needed. A Dorin epiphany.
“ARRGH—fuck, Lina, what the hell—are you a damn monkey?” he squawked as I vaulted over a chair, used it like a springboard, and tackled him to the floor. The chair snapped beneath me.
“I told you to give me the laptop back. Did I not? This is your fault. Not mine.” I slammed it closed before he could recover.
“You know your everything was up in my everything,” Dorin groaned, dragging himself upright and rubbing both his head and his spine. At least I didn’t pounce while he was near anything sharp. I considered that a personal accomplishment.
“You’re welcome then.” I rolled my eyes and walked over to him, brushing my fingers gently over the spot on his head that was definitely going to bruise. I let out a long breath and leaned my forehead on him.
His arms looped around me instantly, pulling me into one of his massive bear hugs—the kind that always made the world feel a little less like a battlefield. And god, I needed it.
Dorin held me close for a long moment before easing back, his hands firm and stable on my shoulders.
“I know you’ve got a lot going on, Lina.
I just want to make sure you stay focused.
I need you, and so do your people. I’d follow you off a cliff, and honestly, the more you get to know Cezar, the more likely that scenario seems.” A short breath left him.
“I’m fine with it. As long as you’re doing what you want.
It’s okay to enjoy spending time with him—just be careful. Try your best to stay logical.”
He rubbed my back quickly, knowing logic and I weren’t exactly on speaking terms these days.
“Dorin… what would I do without you?” I gave him a light punch on the shoulder, and he laughed softly. But the words were true. I would be lost without him. He and his sister were the only family I had left.
“Why do you never put your clothes away?” he asked, already moving to do it.
He opened one of my drawers and stopped. His hand lifted my necklace—my most cherished possession. A gift from my parents when I was five. Somehow, after everything, the color hadn’t faded.
The necklace rarely left the drawer. I kept it tucked away to protect it… and because I couldn’t stand the weight of the memories attached to it. It took everything in me not to break right there.
“I’ve always loved this necklace. It looks so beautiful on you.” Dorin came closer, his tone warm and sure.
I flinched without meaning to. He didn’t comment on it. He simply fastened the necklace gently around my throat, then guided me toward the mirror. His hands were steady as he adjusted the pendant so it faced forward.
The tears came fast, burning behind my eyes as I gripped his hand. He squeezed back.
“I know you can’t wear this much,” he whispered. “Especially with Cezar around. We can’t risk revealing too much. But Lina… there will be a time when you can wear it again. Just like you used to. They will all eventually know and love the real you, just as we do.”
The reassurance twisted something deep inside me. He pressed a kiss to the top of my head, then unfastened the necklace and concealed it away once more—hidden until the truth could finally come out.
It was a two-piece heirloom. On its own, the pendant looked abstract. But when both halves were reunited, three roses formed perfectly—one for each of us.
I used to take it out just to remind myself what it felt like to belong to a family.
One half tucked away in the dark, the other forever lost—together they held everything I came from.
Every root. Every scrap of love I once had.
My half stayed with me, the only piece I could protect, while the other…
I could only hope my mother carried that with her into the afterlife.