Chapter 29
CEZAR
Fuck, my body hurt so damn bad. My eyes wouldn’t open. Someone might’ve glued them shut. Wouldn’t shock me at this point. My senses crept back in pieces, enough for me to recognize the sterile stench of a hospital.
Amidst the haze, there was that voice—Lina’s voice, accompanied by Dorin’s. They were alive. Safe. I could almost die happy now.
I tried to cough and instantly regretted it, my head spinning, my ribs screaming. Every inch of me throbbed.
Lina’s touch was familiar and slowly brought me back to consciousness. I struggled to open my eyes, greeted by the sight of her expression filled with a sorrow I’d never seen before. Would she have mourned me if I died? Fuck, what a stupid thought.
“Why… don’t be sad.” I tried lifting my hand to wipe her tears, but pain shot through me hard enough that the attempt died halfway. Even so, it meant I was alive. And she was still here.
Dorin fetched water and adjusted my position on the bed, and the doctor was there too, probably saying something important. I couldn’t focus since I was fixated on Lina. How could I make her stop hurting? I knew I’d fucked up. I had to apologize.
I nodded occasionally to make it seem like I was listening—old habit from growing up with a father who punched first and questioned never. Eventually, the doctor left. Dorin too. His face looked grim in a way that sent a chill through me.
Had I really screwed things up that badly?
As soon as the door closed, I mustered all the strength I had to sit up straight. Lina paced the room like she was trying to outrun her own thoughts. I spoke as loudly as my battered chest would allow.
“I know,” I rasped, louder than I should’ve dared. “I’m sorry… I fucked up.”
The rest stayed trapped in my head, too heavy, too knotted to force past the fog. I should stay the hell away from her. She’d be better off without me. So why the fuck couldn’t I? Because I was a selfish, useless piece of shit, and I—
I never finished the thought.
She climbed onto the bed in one swift motion and curled against me. The pain was almost unbearable, but it was her. Not my father. Not a punishment. Not a fucking bullet—her. My Petal.
“Shut up, shut up, okay? Just stop,” she snapped. The words stung. I only wanted her to understand I hadn’t meant to mess things up. I’d only been trying to protect her.
“Cezar… please.” Her voice stricken, and she looked at me like she was breaking. “Stop apologizing for doing what you think is right.” Her eyes on mine. “You took it like such a good fucking boy. I’m sorry for leaving the way I did. Why is everything so fucking complicated?”
She pressed her head against me, unable to keep eye contact. My good arm lifted, fingers skimming through her locks with care. “It doesn’t have to be,” I whispered, thumb touching the back of her neck.
“Cezar, I don’t—”
“Lina.” I tipped her chin with a weak hand. “Breathe, my Petal. It kills me to see you like this, but you’re sad because I got hurt, right?”
She gave a tiny nod. I pulled her closer, wincing at the movement. The pain flared, but having her pressed against me made it feel good. Fucked-up, I know. Then I passed out.
I woke up a day later, still drugged up but more myself. Lina hadn’t said much while I adjusted to being stuck in that hospital bed, and Dorin pacing the room didn’t help. The silence between us dragged until she finally asked what I wanted to eat.
Pasta sounded like heaven.
When she left to get it, Dorin wandered over to my bedside, awkward as hell—like he’d never been in a hospital room before.
“So, what’s up, man?” I prodded.
“Do you need anything, like water, or maybe your bed moved, or I don’t know anything?”
“Um, you already did all that,” I pointed out, blinking slowly as the meds made everything a little hazy. “So… ya know… what’s up, man?”
Dorin rubbed the back of his neck. “Cezar, why the fuck did you do that? You almost died.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Well, you would’ve died. I think. Maybe. Pretty sure. From where I was, it looked bad.” I shrugged—or tried to. “If it makes you feel any better, it’s not like I planned to get shot.”
He didn’t say anything. Just stared. I couldn’t read him, and honestly, I didn’t have the strength to try. So, I went for the thing gnawing at my thoughts. “I heard Lina scream,” I said quietly. “Did she think it was me? Was she screaming for me?”
Dorin shot me a confused glance, halting his pacing.
“She knew you got shot right away. Before I even realized what happened. She didn’t think you’d actually show up, but she told our men what you’d most likely be wearing. Lucky she did—otherwise you’d definitely be dead.”
I let out a weak laugh. She was slowly accepting me. Or maybe I was delusional enough to think she was. Regardless, I’d cling to the fantasy until it killed me.
“Cezar, really though, why?” Dorin pressed.
“I wasn’t gonna just stand there and watch you die. She cares about you, and I care about her. What else is there?”
Dorin looked like he wanted to say what the actual fuck, but he held it in. Probably because he knew I meant every word. Maybe I was more attached to all of them than they were to me. Whatever. Things were changing. Slowly—but changing. Just needed more time.
“Hey, can I make a call?” I asked.
“Codrin’s already on his way. Lina called him when you woke up,” Dorin replied, dropping into a chair.
Hearing that made me feel all warm inside. Or maybe it was the morphine. Either way, I felt good as fuck right now.
“I am sorry that I fucked shit up,” I admitted with my head hung low, feeling ashamed for disrupting her perfect plan.
“You didn’t ruin anything,” Dorin said. “Yeah, we intended to lure all those people in, but we were outnumbered faster than we expected.”
He stood, moved closer, then actually kneeled beside the bed. “I would have died, Cezar. You saved my life. Thank you. I’ll repay you however I can.”
He meant it, and even though I thought he was being dramatic, some part of me understood—because I remembered what it felt like when Lina saved my life. Or at least didn’t let me die on multiple occasions.
“Well… you’re welcome,” I said, a grin sneaking in. “And honestly? I’ll take your cooking as repayment.”
He huffed a laugh and shook his head.
The hallway suddenly erupted in noise. I thought it was Lina, but Codrin walked in first—with Lina right behind him. A wave of jealousy hit me. Why the hell was she standing so close to him?
“I got your weird noodles.” She looked at me with disgust.
Codrin walked over to me. “Cezar, fuck, are you okay?” He didn’t look at me, though. Why was everyone avoiding my eyes?
“I am good, thanks for coming. Does Darius know?” I asked.
“Sort of. I told him what I told Father—that you got hurt. Not why. And that you’d probably be gone awhile.”
“What do you mean, gone for a while?”
“You need physical therapy, Cezar. So, I figured you’d stay with her while you heal.”
“Lina?”
He nodded.
OH. MY. GOD.
I was going to live with Lina.
Live with her.
Sleep in the same room.
Wake up, and she’d be right there.
Go to sleep, and she’d be right there.
I should genuinely get shot more often.
Codrin snapped his fingers in front of my face, and my first instinct was to swing at him. “Okay, that works for me,” I said, forcing casualness when I was screaming inside.
“Is there anything else you want me to tell him?” he asked.
“Consequences will be the same no matter what excuse I give him. Tell him whatever you think is best, bro.” I patted his shoulder, even though I knew he had no idea what I was actually referring to.
Maybe my brothers thought Father just pushed me too hard in training.
Maybe they believed I was simply the weak link.
Then I looked at Lina. She knew the truth.
And the look on her face was enough to make me look away.
Never pity someone like me, Petal.
At night, Codrin left, followed by Dorin. Their men stayed close, stationed outside, but once again it was just Lina and me.
I was becoming addicted to these quiet moments—her presence, the comfort of her near me, the way she always drifted closer without even noticing. She was like a drug. Eventually, she sat on the bed beside me, fingers resting on mine.
“Cezar, thank you. He would have died… he would have—” A sob caught in Lina’s throat, and despite the pain, I moved to wrap her in my arm.
We sat like that for a while, until she realized I was internally dying. Even with the morphine, it was excruciating. “Shit, I didn’t mean to—Why don’t you use your words?” She glared at me.
I didn’t care. She was with me while I was at my weakest. I kept doing that around her—falling apart, bleeding emotions everywhere like some idiot. One day, I’d tell her everything. One day, she’d understand that I wasn’t capable of living without her.
Not anymore.